Holding Up the World

by Shirley Hailstock

  Julianna never mentioned Maia to Leona. She never mentioned moving. But she looked forward to sharing an apartment with a friend. Julianna didn’t have many girlfriends. Since leaving home, where she’d always had her own room, she’d only ever shared space with a man. However, the way Maia had laid it out sounded good to her. The two had jobs and together they could share the tiny apartment. It only had one bedroom which they would share. Julianna wouldn’t have to sleep on the floor as she did at Leona’s.

  At a garage sell, Maia talked the owners into selling them twin beds for next to nothing. Noticing that they also had a truck, she talked them into delivering the beds. The people even threw in the bedding. Julianna thought Maia’s talents were lost at Wal-Mart. She should be negotiating world peace.

  The place was sparsely furnished, but Julianna was too happy to be there to notice. She and Maia sat on the floor, each propped against a wall as they shared Chinese food. They’d talked about finances. They’d share the cost of rent, food and phone. The utilities were paid by the landlord. If they bought any other furniture, they’d share the cost as long and both agreed on it.

  When they went to sleep that first night and Julianna lay down in a real bed, tears slipped from her eyes. It had been so long since she felt safe. Felt a real bed. Felt that she didn’t have to perform for a man. Didn’t have to do anything except be herself.

  “Are you crying?” Maia asked from her own bed.

  Julianna sat up. “I slept on the floor at Leona’s. I haven’t been in a bed in so long, I forgot out good it could feel.”

  A moment later she heard Maia sniff.

  “Things haven’t been very good for you, have they?” Maia asked.

  Julianna had told her the full story of her leaving home. She was the only person she’d confided in. She knew about the men, about Brittany, about her life at home, her sisters and how she’d come to work at Wal-Mart. Maia’s life was nothing like her own. Her parents were disappointed that she hadn’t enrolled in college, but they supported her decision and embraced Julianna. They invited the two of them to drop by for dinner anytime they wanted.

  “I’m all right,” Julianna finally said.

  She heard Maia sit up in bed. “You know, Julianna, I know we just moved in here, but have you considered going back home?”

  She had considered it every day and rejected it everyday. “I have, but it wouldn’t work out.” She was no longer the same innocent child she’d been when she lived there. She’d gained a world of experience. Gone through things her mother would never understand her approve of. “Beside, it’s going to be better here.” She made her voice sound upbeat, then she turned her back to Maia and pretended to go to sleep.

  She wondered what her mother was doing now. Was she in bed? Or was she up with Brittany? What were her sister’s doing? Were they in college? Did they go to school here in New Jersey or were they somewhere else. Since seeing her mother in the store, the pull to talk to her grew stronger each day, rather than diminishing as it should have. Julianna wished she could go back to the happy days before life changed irrevocably. It was too late, but maybe living with Maia would be different. She certainly hoped so. It couldn’t be any worst than all the other places she’d lived. And this was preferable to sleeping on the street.

  ***

  Lisa was on her third drink when Rhys sat down in front of her. “I thought we were going to have lunch in the grocery store or maybe the courtyard. I never imagined we’d be here.”

  Today was Wednesday. She’d completely forgotten. They were supposed to have lunch. Well, she hadn’t really agreed to meet him.

  “Sorry, I forgot.” Her voice felt heavy and slow.

  “What’s happened?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “You don’t strike me as the kind who drinks her lunch.”

  Lisa lifted her glass and saluted him before taking another drink. The alcohol was giving her a headache. She didn’t drink and her head was getting fuzzy.

  “What are you doing here?” she asked. Her head was getting heavy. She cupped her chin in her hand and took another drink.

  “I followed you.”

  Her eyes opened wide.

  “We did have a date.”

  She shook her head from sided to side. “No, we didn’t. I told you.” She looked at him, pointing to her glass. “That I couldn’t make it.”

  “But you’re here.”

  “I’m drinking alone.”

  The waitress came over. “Can I get you something,” she asked Rhys.

  “Bring a pot of black coffee and a turkey club.”

  “I’ll have another one of these,” Lisa said, lifting her glass.

  The woman left. “I don’t want any coffee,” Lisa said, knowing he’d ordered it for her.

  “What happened today?”

  A wave of emotion settled on her and she had a sudden need to cry. But she stemmed it, waiting for it to pass before she answered. “I lost my job.”

  Rhys reached for the glass. Lisa snatched it back. Some of the liquid sloshed over the side.

  “Lisa, this is not like you. I know you’re upset. You have a right to be, but this isn’t going to help?”

  “It won’t hurt.” Her tongue felt heavy and it was hard to get the words out.

  The waitress came back and set a pot of coffee and two cups on the table. Lisa looked at her as if she were a viper.

  “I don’t want that,” she said again.

  Rhys poured a cup pushed it in front of her. “Tell me what happened.”

  “I told you. I was employed this morning. Now I’m not.”

  Rhys didn’t say anything. Lisa wondered why. She thought she knew, but her head was too fuzzy for her to think.

  “I don’t remember,” she finally said. The waitress passed and Lisa stopped her. “I need my drink,” she said. The woman looked at Rhys as if she needed his permission. “I’m paying,” she said. “You can bring me another drink.”

  She left.

  “Try the coffee,” Rhys cajoled.

  “I don’t want coffee. I want another drink.” Her voice was louder than she expected it to be.

  “Why don’t we leave and I’ll take you home.”

  “You go home.” She laughed. “You can go to my home. There’s no one there.”

  “I’m not leaving you here.”

  “Then have a drink.” She waved her glass in his direction before lifting it and taking a drink.

  Rhys got up and moved around the table to sit next to her. He took the glass from her hand and pushed the coffee closer to her.

  “What are you doing?” she asked.

  “Ensuring that you don’t do anything stupid.”

  “Why, you don’t know me? And I never do anything stupid.”

  “I know you better than anyone else here,” he said.

  “Still, I can take care of myself.”

  “When you’re not under the influence, I’m sure that’s true. But no one is at their best after drinking.”

  Lisa’s head hurt. She put a hand up to it.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “I got a headache.”

  He lifted the coffee cup and placed it close to her mouth. “Drink,” he ordered.

  Lisa took a drink and pushed it away. “I don’t want that.” Turning away from Rhys, she opened her purse and pulled out some dollar bills. Laying them on the table, she stood up.

  “I’m going somewhere else.” She pushed her chair back and turned. The room tilted and swam before her. Grabbing the chair she supported herself. Rhys took her arm. She pulled herself free.

  As she took a step, he grabbed her purse which pulled her back against him. She reached for it, but her put his body between her and the bag.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Since you don’t claim me as a friend, I’m acting as an instrument of the law.” He opened her purse and removed her car keys.

  “Give it back.” He handed her the purse.

&n
bsp; Walking her to the door, he said nothing. He led her to his car and opened the door. Lisa drank too much to fast and she wanted to go to sleep. The air had a crispness to it. He handed her into the car and she laid her head back against the upholstery. When Rhys slipped behind the steering wheel, her eyes were already closed.

  When Lisa opened her eyes it was dark. She started as fear struck her. She didn’t recognize her surroundings. Confused, she tried to sit up. Pain ripped up the back of head, hitting her head like a sledge hammer. Her focus blurred. Forced, involuntarily, she flopped back on the pillow under her.

  There was only one other time in her life that Lisa woke up and didn’t know where she was. That was long before she married or had children. She’d been in college, out with friends and her low tolerance for alcohol had clouded her judgment and her memory. The tales her friends teased her with for years were enough to keep her from ever over-imbibing for the rest of her life. Except for yesterday.

  Yesterday, when she got fired.

  Oh, no! Her eyes opened wide and she sat up only to have the pain grabbed her as if it were a giant hand inside her brain. Holding her head, she moaned. Footsteps sounded in another room and before she could look up, Rhys was there.

  “This is your house,” she said knowing it was an unnecessary comment.

  “I brought you some coffee. Your head must be hurting.”

  “You can’t imagine,” she said, trying to look at him. “How much did I drink?”

  “I’m not sure.”

  Lisa thought he was being diplomatic. She remembered four, maybe five drinks. And she remembered Jade. Thankfully, she’d called Susan and Bill to pick the baby up from the sitter. Although they must have wanted to know where she is by now.

  Lisa looked for her purse and her cell phone. “Where’s my purse?” Rhys pointed to the end of table next to her. Her bag sat there like a sentinel. “I need to call someone.”

  “I’ll get you something to eat.”

  He left her and as much as her head would allow her, Lisa grabbed her purse and fished around for her phone. There were ten messages waiting for her. None of them from Susan. They were all from people at the job. Her former job.

  She dialed Susan’s number and checked on Jade. Susan assured her everything was fine and told her not to worry. They loved having Jade there. Lisa hadn’t shared any of the events of the day with her when she called and asked her to pick up the baby. Only that she had something to do and needed a little help with Jade.

  When she hung up, she dropped the phone back in her purse. She wasn’t up to returning any of the office calls. No one really had anything to say that could help her or make her feel any better. Gingerly standing up, she took the cup of coffee Rhys had brought her and sipped it. It was hot and black and helped in removing her alcohol-heavy tongue.

  “I suppose I owe you a thank-you and an apology,” she said as she slipped into a chair at the kitchen table. Rhys was standing at the stove breaking eggs into a bowl. “Thank you for getting me safely here.” She looked around at the room. “And I apologize for what I said and how I acted earlier today.”

  “No need.” He poured the eggs into a pan.

  “I don’t often act that way. It’s just that today...” she faltered. Moving her fingers from hugging the cup, she put them in her lap and stared at them, watched them fidget as if they had to speak the words.

  Rhys slid a plate with an omelet on it in front of her. He sat down with his own. Lisa lifted her fork as the smell of the food made her stomach growl and revoke at the same time. She took a tiny speck of egg and put it in her mouth, following it with a liberal drink of coffee.

  “I lost my job today.” She stated it as fact.

  Rhys stared at her. “I am so sorry. I know you said things weren’t going well, but I didn’t think it was this serious.

  “I didn’t either,” she replied. “But I should have.” She ate a little more. “All the signs were there. I knew it was possible, almost knew it was coming, despite what I’d been told. But when it happened that didn’t make it any easier to take.”

  “How was your severance package? It had to be fair.”

  Lisa waved her hand. “It was more than fair. That’s not it. I thought I’d be with Braddock until I retired.” She looked at her plate. The two were quiet for a while. She knew he was letting her work her feelings through. “I liked working there. Like the people. Felt the company was really working to make life better for people. It satisfied both my social and economic needs. I feel so...so...”

  Rhys reached across the table and took her hand. Lisa’s fingers curled inside his hand. She clenched her teeth together and forced the tears that rushed to her eyes to remain unshed. Emotion nearly chocked her.

  “I understand that it’s hard, but you’ll get through it. You have friends, people you’ve worked with and...” He stopped.

  “And you’ll be there,” she finished his sentence.

  He nodded. “Anything I can do to help, I’ll be there to do.”

  Lisa looked up at him. “Thank you,” she said.

  ***

  “Bitch! where is my money?” A cold chill went through Julianna. She recognized Leona’s voice. It was loud and macabre, like fingernails on a chalkboard. It scraped against Julianna’s spine, seizing her nerves into hot spikes.

  Julianna had just come out of the employees lounge on her way back to her cash register when Leona appeared in front of her.

  “Did you think you could just steal away in the night after what I did for you?”

  “What you did for me?” Julianna countered, although her voice wasn’t as loud. “You cheated me, gave me a bed on the floor and took every penny I had.”

  “I took you when you had nowhere to go.”

  “And I paid for it, everyday, every time I got paid, every time you decided I needed to pay more for something. Well I got tired of it and I left.”

  “Like a dog, you ran.” Her mouth dipped into a sneer. “What’d you do, find another man who will beat you, take your money and through you out with nothing?”

  Maia came up then. They were drawing a crowd and Julianna knew she could lose her job. Finally she thought things were looking up, but Leona’s appearance could destroy that. And Leona knew it. It was the only reason she came here.

  “If you’re having a problem,” Maia said to Leona. “I can help you.”

  Leona gave her a look that could melt concrete. Maia stood her ground. “Why don’t you come with me and I’ll help you with whatever you’re looking for.”

  “I’ve found the bitch I’m looking for.”

  “Ma’am,” Maia said without emotion. “Store policy says we don’t have to take verbal or physical abuse from customers. If you haven’t found what you’re looking for and you can’t be civil to those of us trying to help you, then your alternative is to leave. If you continue I’ll calls security.”

  “Listen, girl...” she began, but Julianna interrupted her.

  “Leona, you came here to get me fired. And that might happen, but even if it does, I owe you nothing. Not a single dime. I am paying you nothing. If anything, you owe me. And if you want to try something here, just go ahead. I’ll make sure you never take in another person like you did me.”

  Leona laughed at her attempt at bravado.

  “I’ll come to your apartment building everyday and I’ll see if anyone else is living there. If so, I’ll tell her what you did to me. She may be hurt, been beat up by a boyfriend like I was. But I’ll give them a place to stay until they get a job. Or I’ll find a shelter for them. Your threats don’t bother me. Now get out of here before I call a cop and report you.”

  Julianna didn’t wait for her to move. She needed to get to her cash register and she needed the crowd to disperse. Pushing her way through the congregation, she walked directly to the register and slipped her drawer into place. Her chest hurt from her heart hammering. She took a long breath and tried to calm herself. Her hands were cold and s
haking. Her knees felt like rubber, and she leaned heavily on her counter taking in deep breaths.

  Hitting the switch over her station, the light went on and a line immediately formed. Julianna kept her eyes on Leona as she helped the first person. Leona left in a huff, cutting her eyes at Julianna.

  Maia came around her and whispered, “She’s gone. You did great.”

  Julianna wasn’t sure. Leona was one of those people who didn’t give up easily. She’d fight for what she thought was her due, even if she knew she had no justified right to it. But Julianna felt she’d won this round.

  Leona Mason had confronted her. Julianna knew it would happen. There were always consequences to our actions. How often had she heard her mother say that? Julianna had hoped the woman would come to her outside of her job. She should have come forward and told her she was leaving. She knew it was a cowardly act to steal away during the night, but she’d run away because she didn’t like Leona, didn’t like being cheated and didn’t like confrontation.

  Right now she still shook from the encounter of moments ago. She was glad the computer on the cash register told her what the amount of change was due to the customer in front of her. She counted it twice to make sure she was passing the amount on the display.

  Julianna relaxed several minutes later. She was glad her manager hadn’t come by and wanted to know what the disturbance was about. She had no doubt that he heard something already, but so far he hadn’t asked to see her. Wal-Mart was a small place and anything that happened in the store was communicated to everyone in every department in a short period of time.

  After a while, Julianna no longer thought about it. She stated on her cash register until it was time to go home. Then she quickly checked out and left before anyone could stop her. Instead of getting on the bus to go home, she took the bus that led her back to Leona Mason’s apartment.

  She knocked on the door. From inside she could hear Leona’s heavy footsteps coming toward it. Julianna knew she’d looked though the peep hole and seen her. The woman yanked the door open.

  “What the hell do you want?” she asked. “I thought you said everything you needed to say this afternoon.”