Heart Echoes

by Sally John

  He shook his head as if he doubted his hearing.

  She leaned over and kissed his cheek. “Thank you, by the way, for being sweet and tender and helping me catch on.”

  He chuckled. “You are . . . I have no word for it.”

  “A good liar?”

  “Complicated. You do know I’ve always loved you for yourself, not for what you’ve done or haven’t done?” He brushed a stray tear from her cheek.

  “Okay.”

  “Okay. So, obviously you and Cody did not have a relationship. Did you just go back to school?”

  “Yes. I hated myself for what I’d done to Lacey, for being the person Owen always said I was. Nobody was surprised when I finally told them I was pregnant. It was easy not to say who the father was. There was no reason to tell Cody. I wanted no part of him or anyone else in Cedar Pointe. But I did want my baby.” She smiled. “Suddenly I had my own family, and I could be in control. I could make it what I wanted. Of course what I wanted was for somebody to love me.”

  “And you never told anyone.”

  “No. Time and distance did their thing. It seemed pointless to reveal Cody’s name. Everyone probably assumed it was someone I met in college.”

  “But guys talk, Teal. He would have told his buddies.”

  “He probably did. Honestly, I was a nonentity in town. It wouldn’t have been a big deal that he’d slept with a loser of questionable repute. And it wasn’t long after that he was in the car accident with his cousin Dylan.”

  “The kid who was killed?”

  “Yes. Dylan was driving, apparently not under the influence. Given Cody’s alcohol content, he probably didn’t feel a thing. The incident did him in, though. He really started to get into serious trouble after that. He was arrested for disorderly conduct. The story goes that it was the last straw for his parents. They were done bailing him out of trouble. He pleaded guilty and went to jail. I didn’t make up that part. Apparently it straightened him out. Afterward he got his diploma and a military waiver.”

  “I take it Will was not all that close with his brother?”

  “No. They were like me and Lacey. Opposites, nothing in common. They would not have talked about that night. Eventually Lacey got over her crush and married Will. Once in a while she would mention what was going on with Cody. He went back to Cedar Pointe about as often as I did.” She paused. “It was strange. He was such a distant connection to me, not even a real memory. It was like we had no connection. Maiya was mine.”

  “And then she grew up.”

  Teal nodded. “And started asking questions.”

  The obvious hung between them. Maiya had to be told. Cody had to be told. Lacey had to be told.

  Teal said, “I’ll get there.”

  “You will.”

  “I’ve hurt so many people. I know it’s only getting worse now, the longer I wait. Especially since they’ve gotten to know her.”

  He kissed her forehead. “Thank you for bringing me in first.”

  “Oh, River, I love you so much. I’m sorry for pushing you away, for hiding behind those trees.”

  “Hey, how many times do I have to say I’m in for the long haul?”

  She smiled. “As many times as it takes?”

  “Okay, you got it.”

  The joyful calm enveloped her again, unfamiliar yet comforting, elusive yet full of promise.

  Chapter 47

  CEDAR POINTE

  “Aunt Lacey, you are not going to believe this one!” Maiya’s voice rose over the phone line as she went on to describe her latest woe with her history teacher.

  Smiling, Lacey settled into the recliner in the shop’s back room and pulled up the footrest. She missed her niece something awful. Their frequent phone conversations alleviated the ache to a certain extent, but Lacey was counting the hours until their reunion: Thanksgiving week in Los Angeles.

  She disagreed with Will, who thought the lack of dramatics in their life was best for Lacey’s energy level. On the contrary, the girl had been a continual source of freshness and joy.

  “See, Aunt Lace? I told you I learned more from you in a few weeks than this idiot can teach me all semester. He knows nada about the Civil War.”

  Aunt Lace, Aunt Lacey, Aunt L. Always with the aunt in place. She loved it, although it did remind her not to pass up a teaching moment.

  “Maiya, my rule book says to remind you that idiot is highly disrespectful.”

  “Okay, okay.” Maiya groaned. “Was that a reprimand?”

  “I think so.”

  “How come I can take it from you and not my mom?”

  “Well, that’s in the book too. Moms are like emery boards. It’s their job to file away at all the rough edges in their daughters.”

  “But you do it and it doesn’t set me off.”

  “That’s because aunts are just plain cool. No other explanation.”

  Maiya laughed. “Well, Mom’s lost her sandpaper personality. She’s still into sappy.”

  When they had last talked on Saturday, Maiya had described Teal as weepy and giggly at the same time, all the time. And River was more mellow than she had ever seen him in her whole entire life.

  “Actually, Aunt Lace, I’m beginning to wonder if they remember I live here. The huggy, kissy-face stuff is kind of embarrassing.”

  Lacey smiled. Obviously something was going on between Teal and River. The separation must have kicked them into another honeymoon phase.

  Maiya went on. “I hope I can spend the weekend at Amber’s. Oh, get this. Last night I brought up the Jake thing. Remember he’s going to be at the auction on Saturday? I told Mom I wanted to talk with him, get some closure. She just sort of nodded and said, ‘Fine.’ Do you believe it? Maybe now’s the time to ask them for a car.”

  “You don’t want to break the spell. From what I’ve heard, they’re adamant about that one.”

  “I suppose. So, did you have closure with Cody after that dance you told me about?”

  Before seriously considering that Cody might be Maiya’s father, Lacey had shared with her some details from that night. Things like he wanted to have sex, that she struggled and her dress ripped before he caught on to the meaning of her no, that she walked home in the freezing rain. She figured such brutal honesty might put enough fear into her niece to keep her from pining after Jake.

  She said, “Closure? I’m sure I hadn’t even heard the word back then. And besides, the incident was such a brief encounter, hardly worth processing beyond, ‘Whoa, that was ugly, and good riddance with the crush.’”

  Maiya said, “But wasn’t it awkward with him later, like when you and Uncle Will got married?”

  Lacey measured her words. Given Maiya’s September birth date, Teal would have had to have been with Cody around the time of the dance. If Cody was the father, which Lacey now believed was true. How much was acceptable to tell the girl about him? That he was a hormonal teenage boy was one thing, but other details revealed character faults that he had overcome. Why go into those now?

  Lacey said, “Like I told you, Will and I eloped to Portland. There was no family involved.” Thank goodness for her mother-in-law’s forgiving nature. Although Nora understood that a wedding with Owen would have been unbearable, she had not been a happy camper about the elopement. “Cody hadn’t lived in Cedar Pointe for ages and didn’t visit for a long time.”

  “Kind of like my mom.”

  “I guess so. Anyway, later he got his act together, joined the Marines, and came home just once before being shipped overseas.”

  “That all happened after the accident.”

  “Yes. When his cousin died, Cody went off the deep end. He got into more trouble and left town.” No way was she mentioning his jail time. Will and her in-laws never brought up the sad event. Even townspeople no longer spoke of it. The guy was a hero, fighting terrorists.

  “So what happened when you finally saw each other?” The girl was relentless. “What did he say to you?”

&nb
sp; “Not much, really. He had changed.” In fact, he was a new man. Sober, disciplined, caring, likable. “The thing is, what little history we had in common was ancient. He sort of laughed and said something like, ‘Didn’t you have a crush on me once?’ I said, ‘In your dreams.’ We teased each other. That was the end of it.”

  “But what about the night of the dance?”

  “Neither of us brought it up.”

  “Didn’t Will talk to him about it?”

  “Maiya, it was over with. Will and I agreed to let it go.”

  “Aunt Lacey, don’t you think you should finish this business?”

  She sighed to herself. “The truth is, I never really cared to talk about it with him, and I don’t think he even remembers much about it.”

  “Well, duh. I bet he can’t. He must have been into a lot of junk back then. He was probably wasted that night.”

  Lacey’s heart sank at the correct guess. Once she had outgrown her naiveté, she admitted that Cody had been a wreck, not a mysterious bad boy she could save. He must have killed off a lot of brain cells back in the day. Only answers to Nora’s prayers explained his intact survival.

  Maiya said, “In a way, you can’t blame him for being so mean to you that night. I’m not making excuses. I’m just saying, you know . . .”

  Warning bells went off. “Hon, was Jake mean to you? Did he try to force himself on you? Did he hit you?”

  “No, none of that. Absolutely not. That’s the thing. He’s a good guy.”

  She let out a silent whew. “But he’s too old.”

  “Got that after the bazillionth time from everyone. Was your dance in December?”

  Lacey swallowed. “My dance?”

  “The one you invited Cody to.”

  “Uh, it was cold and rainy. That could be anytime from November to April.”

  “Mom was home, though. It was probably a school break for her.”

  “She would come home at odd times. She never stayed long, and she skipped most holidays with us.”

  “But you said you wore a formal and it wasn’t prom. You probably didn’t have formal dances all winter long.”

  “No. It was a special time.”

  “So it could have been Christmas.”

  Lacey imagined Maiya’s brain calculating the period of gestation. “I suppose it could have been.”

  “Your senior year. I was born the next year.”

  Lacey winced. “Yes.”

  A long silence ensued. She could think of nothing to say to comfort her niece, nothing that would redirect the conversation. Maiya was smart, and she was hurting.

  At last Maiya said, “Aunts aren’t supposed to fudge. I have to go.”

  Her niece was also very angry.

  Their good-bye was brief. Not silly. Not warm. Not sweet. Not hopeful. Nothing at all like they had been.

  Lacey wanted to call her sister and tell her what an idiot she was to keep them all in the dark.

  Chapter 48

  LOS ANGELES

  Since her heart-to-heart with River a week ago, Teal had gone mushy on all fronts, even where the law was concerned. She resorted to an ooey-gooey, fuzzy-wuzzy approach with the Waltons. For the bottom-line talk, she went to their home.

  They lived in a community nicer than hers, farther west than hers. They gave her a brief house tour, and she chatted with little Maddie playing in her room. She was a happy, contented child. Teal figured she would be too if she lived in such a beautiful place. She wanted to go home and redecorate.

  Then they seated her in the family room. It had floor-to-ceiling windows and distant ocean views. Redecorating was not going to help a whole lot. Her 1920s bungalow tucked between a street, an alley, and other houses within spitting distance was cozy cute with a potential for cozy cute in different colors.

  Teal set her bone china cup on the coffee table and looked at the Waltons seated on the white leather couch. They smiled back, their faces young and fresh and full of optimism. She wanted to crawl under her chair.

  Dark-haired Ryan was as handsome as Hannah was pretty. A former lifeguard, he was an engineer who maintained his athletic body and watchful eye, obviously for the sole purpose of caring for his family. Teal had seen him in action. As husband and daddy, he ranked almost as high on the charts as River.

  If anything, Hannah was more beautiful than when she had met her. Despite the stressful weeks of lawsuits, delays, a judge’s ruling against throwing out her case, and Monday’s disastrous deposition that shot more holes into her case, she glowed. Like a . . .

  Teal cast her eyes downward. Hannah wore a loose-fitting top. It clung to her midsection. “Hannah?”

  She laughed. “Yes! I was wondering when you’d notice.”

  “Congratulations! When are you due?”

  They chatted details. To her chagrin, Teal sensed a new onslaught of ooey-gooeyness. Her chest felt ready to burst with happiness and sadness. Happiness and sadness? No, it weighed too heavily, gouged too deeply. Joy and sorrow maybe fit.

  Good grief. What was wrong with her?

  She swallowed the lump in her throat and more coffee and made herself get down to business. “We need to talk about reaching an agreement with James Parkhurst.”

  Hannah said, “I messed up big time, didn’t I?”

  “Let’s just say things are a little more complicated than we first thought. Understandably you did not want a belligerent, abusive alcoholic near your baby. Of course you hid from him. You had no hope that he would divorce his wife, shape up, and turn into a dream guy like the one sitting next to you.”

  Hannah and Ryan smiled. On another day, Teal might have thought them saccharine. Today she smiled with them. They were going to be all right. The trick was to convince them they had won no matter the outcome of the lawsuit.

  Ryan said, “Will a judge understand it your way?”

  “If she’s a woman who hasn’t told her daughter the identity of her biological father, she might.” Teal noticed their curious expressions. “I was like you, Hannah. The guy was a loser. I didn’t want him anywhere near my baby. Now she’s sixteen and wants to know him.” She paused. “She has a right to know him, and he has a right to know her. Blood is always thicker than water, literally. There is no rearranging the physical makeup of either. Genetically, there is a link between father and daughter. It may not lead to anything personally, but that’s not for us to decide.”

  Hannah reached for Ryan’s hand. “What are you saying?”

  “If James were still an abusive alcoholic, I would fight tooth and nail to keep him out of Maddie’s life at this time. But he’s not. A judge will most likely set the terms for his visitation rights. Or else we can come up with a plan and try to settle with him out of court.”

  Hannah’s face crumpled. Ryan put an arm around her.

  Teal softened her voice. “He’s a stranger to Maddie. That doesn’t change with signatures on a paper. We’ll take things very slowly.”

  Panic filled their eyes.

  “Try to work with me here, okay? Try to imagine a former friend who now regrets his behavior toward you. He knows he’s to blame for destroying the friendship. He knows it can’t really ever be fixed. But now he wants to have contact with you. Not as a good friend or confidant, but as someone out there on the fringes. Could there be a place for him in your life?”

  Ryan held Hannah close, did not say a word, and kissed her cheek. Supportive, allowing her to decide.

  She placed a hand on her abdomen, her expression blank as if she were lost in thought. After several moments, she sighed. “Okay, let’s talk. Hypothetically.”

  Teal nodded and nearly sighed herself.

  The worst part was over. Like Teal, Hannah cracked open a new door to a frightening unknown. Whatever entered would forever change her world.

  After meeting with the Waltons, Teal returned to the office, drained and yet filled up. What she had said to Hannah applied to herself. Bio Dad had rights. Daughter had rights. Mother could
not control the outcome.

  At least there was no Dutch Morgan in either scenario.

  Hannah and Ryan agreed to give things a try. They would meet with Parkhurst and his wife in neutral territory, perhaps a park. They would introduce them like old acquaintances to Maddie.

  Like people they did not fear or hate, Teal suggested.

  Okay.

  If Maddie responded well, perhaps the Parkhursts could entertain her at the playground or buy her ice cream while Hannah and Ryan watched from a short distance. Perhaps when Maddie was older, she could spend time alone with them.

  It wasn’t much, but it was a reasonable beginning. Tomorrow she would try to sell it to Parkhurst. He would resist, especially when she brought up adoption. The Waltons wanted Maddie to have Ryan’s last name rather than Hannah’s maiden name. They wanted her secure with Ryan in case anything happened to Hannah.

  Details would be tweaked. She might mention that winning the little girl’s heart was the key and hope that Parkhurst did not ask how he was supposed to do that. If Bio Dad and wife were unable to figure that one out on their own, then any attempt at relationship would die a natural death.

  Ditto for Cody with Maiya. It was his responsibility to connect with her.

  And if he did win her heart?

  Then Teal would be happy for both of them.

  She grinned. Mere hours ago, when she last asked herself that question, she had replied that she should be happy for them.

  Now as she rode the elevator from the parking garage up to her floor, she closed her eyes. For days a vague notion had played tag with her thoughts. She ignored it, easily letting the urgent push it aside.

  Until a short while ago when she saw Hannah Walton lay her hand on her abdomen.

  “I want a baby,” Teal whispered now. “Dear God, I want a baby.”

  As the elevator jerked to a stop, she shook her head and put on her game face. River simply could not go there again. The loss of his wife and unborn child left him crippled for life in that area. She knew there was a part of him that he held back even from her. The pain was too deep for anyone to touch.