by RR Haywood
Rajesh goes closer to stare up, ‘you’re Paco Maguire…’
‘He is not,’ Heather snaps. ‘Move away, don’t touch him…you mustn’t touch him…don’t go near him…’
‘But…’
‘No. Don’t touch him. Don’t go near him. Don’t speak to him.’
‘But he’s…’
‘I said no. Do not touch him. Do not go near him. Do you understand?’
‘Rajesh,’ Subi pulls her brother away, alarmed at the tone of the woman standing in front of Paco.
‘Right,’ Heather says with the determined air of someone who has purpose and objective. She pulls the barn door open to look inside. ‘That’ll do…nice and dry…loads of straw…Rajesh, can you use that brush and clear the straw away from the floor here so I can make a fire.’ She drops down to open her bag, drawing two bottles of water out. ‘Subi, make sure Amna drinks water, Rajesh, you get some water too. Subi, make sure you have some. Paco, you have this one. Hands up…now remember what I said. Hold it carefully…no don’t squeeze. That’s it…up to your mouth and…okay? Got it?’ She turns away to start pulling the contents of her bag onto the hardstanding in front of the barn. Subi, give me your bag. Did Amna drink some water?’
‘Yes.’
‘Make sure Rajesh has some…that’s enough Rajesh, come and get some water. I’ll get the hose out and see if it’s…’ she trails off as she searches for the tap that is found, twisted and thanked when it releases a flow of water from the end of the hose. She turns the flow and starts pulling end of the hose to lie at the edge of the grass in front of the barn. ‘Finished?’ She spots Paco holding the bottle in front of his mouth but no longer drinking. ‘Okay, had enough? Want some more? No…okay. Subi, did you drink some water?’
‘Yes.’
‘Okay, we need a fire, we need to get you three washed and your new clothes need to be hosed and washed….everything needs to be washed. We’ve got food and…’ she pauses to drink water while thinking of what needs to be done first. ‘Ah that was nice,’ she feels the water going down into her tummy and turns round while wondering where to wash the children and Paco. ‘Shit,’ she curses on the spot. ‘I’ve done it again…’ she stares at the bottle then back at Paco. ‘I drank from your bottle again,’ she tells him then smiles in memory of the old man telling them off. ‘Go on, sod off,’ she mimics to herself. Ah well. It’s done now and she didn’t turn the last time. She puts the bottle back in his hands. ‘Do not touch this bottle…see it…’ She makes a point of showing it to Rajesh, Subi and Amna. ‘Do not touch it. Do not touch Paco. Do not go near him. Do not touch anything he touches. Do you understand?’
‘Yes,’ Subi nods quickly.
‘Rajesh?’
‘Yes.’
‘Amna? Subi, make sure your sister doesn’t go near Paco.’
‘Yes, Heather.’
‘Good. Right, er….fire first. We’ll get that going then clean Amna. Paco you might as well sit down. Paco, sit down…sitting...good, now you stay there.’
She finds the lighter, straw and gets the flames going just inside the door of the barn. Lopped and chopped branches found stacked at the back are carried round and snapped to build it up enough to give light. She checks the view to the gate knowing someone would have to actually come into the field to see the barn.
Packs of wipes are pulled out and made ready. She gets a bottle of shower gel ready with bandages, sprays, anti-bac and antiseptic. With the fire going she gets the children to sit down while she takes the new clothes from the Berghaus bag which get jet sprayed, hosed, scrubbed with shower gel and anti-bac then spun round.
‘Wring,’ Heather hands the first garment over that is taken and squeezed to death by Paco now happy to do as told seeing as his hands are not on her neck. She washes, he wrings. The clothes are spread out to dry. The weather is still warm so it won’t take long.
‘Okay, Amna, you come with me…’ the silent girl gets attacked with wipes first. Her hands and face scrubbed and rubbed with wipe after wipe being cast aside filthy and black. ‘We’ve got to wash your hair…it’s so matted and greasy…it’ll be cold but, now bend forward and let it hang down. Subi? Will your sister be okay? Do you want to help?’
Amna doesn’t moan once. The water is cold but it’s nice and she stands quietly, falling asleep on her feet as Heather and Subi hose her head off then work their fingers through the strands with shampoo taken from a travel bottle.
‘We’ve got to get that dress off,’ Heather says quietly. ‘Is that okay, Subi?’
‘Yes,’ Subi says as meek and as politely formal as ever. Heather glances at her, pondering the good manners.
‘You do it,’ Heather says after that moment of thought. It’s one thing stripping to clean Paco but children are different. ‘Wash her body with the soap…okay?’
‘Yes, Heather,’ Subi nods. Her eyes wide and watchful.
‘Rajesh, you come here and we’ll start with the wipes while your sister cleans Amna. Subi, can you wash Rajesh after or can he do it himself?’
‘I can do it,’ Subi replies.
‘Do it myself,’ Rajesh cuts in.
‘Good, now stand still. My word you are so filthy. Look at this wipe…it’s black…actually black. You’re worse than Paco when I had to wash him…’
‘Is he Paco Maguire?’ Rajesh asks, turning his head from the wipe scrubbing his skin.
Heather freezes, biting her lip for a second. ‘No…no it’s not Paco Maguire. His name is Paco but er…’
‘He looks like Paco Maguire,’ Rajesh says, his big dark eyes staring at Heather.
‘Stunt double,’ Heather makes it up on the spot. ‘He was Paco Maguire’s stunt double…’
‘But he’s called…’
‘And he has the same name,’ Heather announces.
‘Does he have learning difficulties?’ Subi asks, midway through washing her still uncomplaining sister who hasn’t been cleaned or washed for almost two weeks.
‘Er…kind of,’ Heather says, continuing to destroy the layers of grime on Rajesh. Change the subject. Think of something. ‘Where are you from?’
‘Boroughfare,’ Subi replies.
‘Boroughfare? Where’s that? Oh you mean where I found you? Was that Boroughfare?’
‘Yes, Heather.’
‘Oh…I meant…you know, that was a bad question. I didn’t mean where you are from,’ she talks while working, discarding wipes as fast as she can pluck them out and wipe. ‘I meant…well your names and…
‘We’re Indian,’ Subi says.
‘Ah,’ Heather replies. ‘I see.’
‘Dad said we’re British,’ Rajesh says, sputtering as the wipe goes in his mouth.
‘We are British but we’re from India,’ Subi says.
‘I’m from here,’ Rajesh says.
‘We’re both,’ Subi says.
‘Subi? Amna all done? Good, see if her clothes are dry…if not then get her sitting by the fire, she’ll be warm enough for…’
‘Dad said we’re British,’ Rajesh cuts in.
‘You are British,’ Heather says.
‘But Subi said we’re Indian but Dad said we’re British and…’
‘You’re both,’ Heather shrugs. ‘Everyone is from somewhere. It doesn’t matter…right, you strip off and Subi will wash you. Are the clothes dry yet?’
‘Almost dry, Heather.’
‘I’ve got a top Amna can wrap round.’
She checks the fire, checks Amna and wraps a top over her back and smiles grimly at the little girl falling asleep next to the fire. She checks Paco. Squatting down in front of him to see if he wants water or not. She frets and worries. She wanted this night to just be them and the fire.
‘It’s cold,’ Rajesh complains, shivering audibly.
‘Amna didn’t complain,’ Subi points out.
‘Yeah but…’
‘Rajesh, you need to be washed,’ Heather moves away from Paco to check the clothes and moves them closer
to the fire.
‘He’s done, Heather,’ Subi calls out as Rajesh stands with his hands covering his groin.
‘Go sit by the fire, put this round you,’ she hands the boy the last top from her bag. ‘Subi, you get washed and we’ll have some food.’
‘Er…’
‘What?’ Heather asks, seeing the girl freeze with the hose in her hand. She looks at Heather then at Paco, her whole manner showing how worried she is. ‘What?’ Heather asks again.
‘But,’ Subi winces, frowning deeply.
‘What?’ Heather asks, turning to look at Paco then back to the girl. ‘Oh…oh I see…you don’t want to…okay, well just go round the corner then. But make sure you wash properly…and wash your hair…’ She sees the look of relief on Subi’s face. An older girl with a sense of shame at being naked. Wise girl.
By the time Subi is finished the clothes are dry and ready to be put on. Amna sleeps on as she’s dressed by her sister until the three sit quietly next to the firelight watching Heather and Paco outside. They watch as Heather makes him stand, lift his arms and pulls his top off to clean his upper body with wipes before removing his bandages and checking each wound with soft gentle fingers. Gels and sprays are applied. She tuts and fusses all the time, speaking softly with hands that linger on his skin. Rajesh flinches at the sight of his neck reflected by the moon and the glow from the fire. The ragged flesh torn and hanging that is healing so fast. They see as Heather checks it, cooing and marvelling softly as he watches her every move. He is Paco Maguire. Rajesh knows he is. The muscles, the height, the way he stands. He is Paco Maguire. Subi watches Heather, the kindness and almost maternal love she shows for him. How she dresses his wounds and leads him round the corner to the running water and Heather chuckling as she cleans him and leads him back by the hand. Finally she brings him in and gets him to sit on the other side of the fire with his back leaning against a bale of straw.
It’s clean here. Subi inhales deeply, smelling the wood smoke and the warm currents of air that come into the barn. The smell of the straw and the shower gel on her skin. She pulls a strand of raven black hair round to smell, marvelling at the way it feels and the scents within the strands. Heather is strange, she speaks bluntly but they’re safe here and away from the supermarket. There’s no maggots or flies either.
Rajesh just watches Paco Maguire in awe. It is Paco Maguire. He knows it is. He used to watch the movies with his dad while Subi and his mother tutted at their love of action films.
Amna just sleeps, fidgeting and shifting to lean harder against her sister while breathing clean air in a warm barn.
‘Food,’ Heather sighs her hundredth sigh and starts bringing tins into the barn that get opened and handed round. Fruit, rice pudding, tuna, plum tomatoes, ravioli and macaroni cheese. ‘Come on, eat up,’ she says simply, placing tins down in front of the children with spoons handed out. ‘Subi, you feed Amna.’
‘She’s asleep, Heather.’
Heather pauses to stare at the little girl fast asleep, wondering if she needs to be woken to be fed. How often do kids eat? Is it better to let her sleep or get food inside? In the end she does nothing and ignores the issue to let the children feed themselves. She grabs a tin and eats. Wolfing the rice pudding down hungrily while being watched by Paco. ‘Minute,’ she says with a mouthful. ‘I’m starving…’ She finishes the tin and grabs another to ease down with her backside on his thighs. ‘Hand up…take the spoon and…oh going right in are you. No that’s fine but…and up to the mouth. Hey that was the best one yet.’
Subi and Rajesh watch intently, both holding open tins as Heather helps Paco feed himself the way their mother used to feed Amna.
‘Oh you smell so good now,’ Heather says, grinning at Paco. ‘All clean and nice…come on keep eating. All in the mouth and, get that bit from your chin. Your motor skills are getting better…you haven’t crushed that tin at all. What next? Ooh this could be messy, macaroni cheese. Fancy it? Go on then. Just don’t load the spoon up so much…okay in we go and…gently now…up and in…is it nice? Do you like it? Yeah? Nice? Going for more... okay keep going…your neck is healing so well and you didn’t poo in your pants today which was good. Oh that man was funny, all yelling out in his farmers voice…me trying to get you to wring me out…finished it?’ She stands up to turn and freezes at the two faces watching her intently who quickly look down to their tins.
‘Finished?’ She asks the children, ignoring the awkward silence.
‘Yes, Heather,’ Subi replies as Rajesh delves into the bottom of his tin then decides it’s empty.
‘Okay,’ Heather says, ‘er…time for sleep then…you er…I don’t know where you should sleep but…look we’ll split this bale and you can…I mean it’s soft and clean so…’
‘That’s fine, thank you,’ Subi says, carrying her sister over. ‘Rajesh, come to sleep.’
‘Huh?’ Rajesh stops while reaching for another tin. ‘But…’
‘Sleep, Raj,’ Subi says, making eyes while Heather works to adjust Paco and get more soft straw under his body then more under his head for a pillow.
‘Oh but…fine,’ Rajesh huffs and follows his sister to the split bale. Subi lowers Amna and nestles in to her sister’s side while indicating for Rajesh to come to her other side. He does as told. Mummy always said Subi was in charge if she wasn’t there. They get settled, still quiet and silent from the shock at being round strangers after so long of hiding in the supermarket but as interested as they are in Heather and Paco the exercise and fresh air bring their eyes down to droop.
What a day. Not what she expected at all. She looks over to the children to see them asleep. Looks safe enough now. She drops down to ease his sunglasses off, smiling at seeing his eyes that can now never look awful to her. His hand lifts to find hers that comes forward without gloves to entwine her fingers through his. That smile stays as she shuffles to get into his side so she can nestle down to shift and fidget to gain that extra millimetre. Subi watches, her eyes heavy and closing but seeing everything. She sees as Heather rests her head on Paco’s chest and holds still with her arm draped over him. She sees as Heather rises to lean over with her head lowering to kiss his forehead with lips that hold so long and so tender and she sees when she pulls away and the look of delight on Heather’s face when Paco smiles. That Paco has never smiled before is not something Subi knows.
Twenty Seven
‘What the…’ on her feet, wild and frantic at the scream ripping through the air. Paco surging up, his system flooding with aggression to kill and stamp and keep her safe. It’s too dark. Who is screaming? She flails in the dark, staggering to the door with the belief the infected are inside. The scream goes on, piercing and shrill. Paco bursts past her ramming the door open that fills the barn with the early dawn rays. Rajesh sits bolt upright his eyes wide in fear and Subi shaking from head to toe while grabbing her sister screaming from the nightmare of the beasts in the supermarket all coming alive to eat her.
Heather gasps, her heart hammering from the panic inducing seconds of bursting from sleep to full on wide awake. Adrenalin coursing her veins, making her shake and tremble as she rubs her face. ‘Oh my…jesus…’
‘Ssshhh, Amna ssshhh, it’s okay…’ Subi soothes and rubs her sister who inhales to scream wildly again with a blast of sound that will be heard for miles in every direction.
‘Make her stop,’ Heather says, rushing towards the children to stand impotent at being faced with a screaming child.
‘Just a dream, just a dream,’ Subi holds her sister, rocking back and forth to try and settle the girl who just keeps screaming. ‘Amna…stop now….just a dream…’
‘She’s got to be quiet,’ Heather says, frantic with worry at the noise. ‘Make her be quiet…wake her up.’
‘She is awake,’ Subi says, the fear and panic extending to make her own tears start to form.
‘Shush…ssshhh,’ Heather waves her hands at the girl. ‘Amna, shush now…stop screaming…Subi
, do something…’
‘She’s scared,’ Subi tries harder, rocking faster with hands rubbing down her sisters face ‘Amna, shush now…it was just a dream.’
‘Christ, does she need food?’ Heather asks, ‘Amna…are you hungry?’
Amna screams. She screams because the monsters were alive and coming for her. She screams because the beasts were crawling broken and bloodied through the piles of maggots to eat her flesh. Amna screams because she is scared witless of being in a strange place with strange voices. She screams because she saw her mummy being killed by her daddy and she screams because they had to run and hide in the supermarket where the dead monsters are.
‘Make her stop…’
‘I can’t’ Subi cries because her sister is scared and Heather is angry and because the big man is looming behind her.
‘Amna,’ Heather goes closer, grasping the girl’s arms. ‘Stop it…you have to stop it…’ The girl thrashes, pulling away to shake and scream with a voice that will let every infected know where they are. ‘Stop,’ Heather begs, pleading. She grabs the girl, heaving her up and into her own body that she rocks side to side while rubbing the girl’s back. ‘Shush…stop…you have to stop screaming.’ It takes time but Amna eases down from a scream to wail then a sob as her arms going round Heathers neck to cling tight. ‘It’s okay, easy….take it easy,’ Heather rocks side to side, swinging her hips as the girl falls into a fitful silence of broken sobs. ‘Go back to sleep,’ Heather tells the other two. Walking round the barn to soothe the child in her arms. ‘Ssshhhh now, ssshhhh, go to sleep…’
‘I’m scared,’ Rajesh whimpers, the barn is too dark. It smells unfamiliar and he just woke up with his sister screaming.
‘Shush, Rajesh,’ Heather says, ‘go back to sleep…’
‘I want my mummy,’ Rajesh starts crying, his sobs joining Amna’s as Subi tries to be older and stronger and fight the tears pouring her cheeks.
‘Mummy’s dead,’ Subi sobs, her voice cracking with emotion.
‘Oh God no…no no no…just go back to sleep.’
‘I want…I want my daddy…’