Live By The Team (Team Fear Book 1)

by Skaggs, Cindy

  They pulled away as the sun brought light and reason to the most hellish night of her existence. Lauren wrapped her hands tighter around Ryder’s middle and relaxed into his back. Her head pounded and every muscle ached, but she’d survived, a doubtful outcome an hour ago. When the explosion sounded behind them, She jumped and her breath hitched. Ryder kept the motorcycle steady as if nothing unusual had happened. Maybe explosions were normal for him. Maybe he simply didn’t care. Lauren shivered. She pressed closer to him and zoned out.

  Twenty minutes later, they pulled into a motel parking lot. Rose’s truck was parked at the end of the line. Ryder pulled next to it and turned off the bike. Lauren dismounted and stumbled two steps back. It had been awhile since she’d ridden and her legs were rubbery. She wanted more than anything to sleep for a week, but she still had classes to teach.

  Rose tossed Ryder a key. “Debrief in an hour.”

  Lauren shook her head. “Ryder, I have to teach this morning.”

  “Call in sick.”

  “No.” The aches turned to anger. “This is my life. I can’t call in sick. Aside from Dr. Crawford, I have students depending on me. I’m going if I have to call a cab to get there.”

  Rose stepped away from the pair. “I’ll be next door.” He disappeared behind a faded blue door.

  “Coward,” Ryder muttered. He led the way to the next room and unlocked the door. “I don’t want to argue with you.”

  “Then don’t get in my way.” Lauren stepped into the plain room. A bed and a desk with a bathroom in the back. She’d kill for a shower. “I left the scene of a crime, let you blow it up for heaven’s sake. That goes against my sense of right and wrong.”

  “It was the right thing to do.” Ryder helped her out of his jacket.

  Lauren shivered at the loss of his leather jacket, and it wasn’t simply the heat. She turned around. Ryder’s bereft expression matched the feelings winding through her gut. Deep down, she loved him, but love wasn’t enough. They’d had more love than sense and he’d still walked away. She refused to get attached this time. “I’m going to take a shower.” She glanced at the bedside clock. She still had to get a fresh change of clothes before heading to campus. “I’m leaving in half an hour.”

  She scurried into the bathroom before he could react. That probably made her a coward, but she could live with cowardice. The reflection in the mirror reminded her of a horror movie. The top of her hair was flat while the rest was windblown into knots. The scrape on her forehead was starting to scab and bruises marked her cheek and chin. God, she looked like she’d gone two rounds with a bouncer.

  She climbed into the shower and let the hot water soothe away the worst of the aches. Dried blood and dirt flowed down the drain along with the cheap motel shampoo. The wound on the back of her head started to bleed mildly as she gently brushed away the clots in her hair. The pounding in her temple matched the throbbing wounds on her face and knees.

  Out of nowhere, the shakes started. Chills wrecked her body and her legs trembled. No longer able to stand, she sat down hard. Water pounded on her from the shower. Tears came from nowhere, followed by sobs. The more she tried to hold the blubbering inside, the more her cries echoed in the small room.

  Ryder stepped into the bathroom, his boots quiet on the tile floor. He reached in and turned off the water before covering her in a towel. He led her to the bed where he wrapped her in the blanket and bedspread. If anything, the shaking in her limbs increased.

  “And this is why you shouldn’t go to work.” Ryder stripped off his shirt and boots and climbed into bed with her. His heat surrounded her, better than the blanket or the hot shower. He spooned her and curved his arms around her waist. For several minutes, he simply held her and let her fall apart. When the sobs stopped and the trembling eased, he gave her a gentle squeeze. “It’s adrenaline letdown. Gets you every time.”

  Lauren wiggled closer to his heat, the denim of his jeans the only thing separating them. “You seem fine.” Her words were slow and soft and shivered much the way her body did.

  “I—” His breath brushed her bruised cheek.

  “Finish. The sentence.” Did they have to do this every time?

  “I don’t feel it anymore.”

  “Feel what?”

  The muscles of his chest tensed against her back.

  “What?” she insisted. “You don’t feel the adrenaline letdown anymore?”

  “That either.”

  Lauren twisted to face him. Her heart thumped against her chest so loud it was all she heard. “Tell me.”

  “Fear.” The deep green of his eyes was as unfathomable as a murky lake. His expression bland, because they’d trained him to show no emotion. “I don’t feel fear anymore.”

  Was that possible? Did he feel any emotions? “Is that a result of combat?”

  “Partly. I—” A knock sounded. “That’s Rose. I asked him to come over and patch you up. He was a medic, so he’s trained, and he carries a professional first aid kit.”

  Lauren sat up and clutched the blanket to her chest. “We need to finish this discussion.”

  “If you’re going to work, you need to get patched up so we can hit the road.”

  “A few minutes ago, you thought I shouldn’t go to work. Now you want me to work so you don’t have to finish this conversation.” Different day, same story. “Avoidance much?”

  Ryder threw the covers off and stood. “We will finish the conversation.” The annoyed frown said he’d rather eat glass. “But I’d already decided to let you go to work.”

  “Let me?” The anger heated her body and fast.

  “Yes. Let you. Because when it comes to your safety, you don’t get to decide. While we’re on the subject, I told you to stay down and stay safe. You did neither.”

  Because she’d been afraid, cowering alone in the dark ditch. Ryder might tick her off, but he’d protect her every time, so she’d been naturally inclined to follow his footsteps, but Lauren would wrestle a bear before admitting it to him. Instead, she wrapped the towel around her as she left the warmth of the bed. “You’re an arrogant jackass. I’ve been taking care of myself most of my life.”

  “And last night is the result.” He rested his hands on his hips, drawing attention to a gash through his toned abs.

  Her breath caught. Despite the stabbing, he hadn’t even slowed down, so it didn’t occur to her that he was truly hurt. Her heart thumped, because she was capable of fear. “You’re bleeding.”

  He shrugged. “It’s nothing.” The pounding on the door increased in speed and duration, so he moved to the door. “Rose can patch me up when he finishes with you. Get dressed.”

  Lauren scooted into the bathroom before she accidentally flashed Rose. She pulled on sweats and her hoodie and stepped back into the bedroom. The conversation stopped when Lauren opened the bathroom door, a sure indication she wouldn’t like what they had to say. Rose stood near the bed holding a large duffle with a red cross on the side. He patted the bed. “Have a seat, sweetheart. We’ll see how bad they banged you up.”

  “She’s tougher than she looks.” Pride filled Ryder’s tone. “One of those guys has a broken nose, and if I’m not mistaken, Lauren did that.”

  She ducked her head. “I had a good teacher.”

  Ryder pulled her close and wrapped an arm around her. “You’re tough and you’re smart,” he whispered. Lauren tucked her head under his chin, and for the first time in months, the ache in her chest eased. Ryder kissed her temple before making his way to the bathroom, leaving her with a man who’d never given her more than two words.

  Lauren sat on the edge of the bed, her head and heart hurting. Rose flashed an annoying penlight in her eyes before checking the wound on her forehead. She closed her eyes so he wouldn’t see the pain his gentle touch caused. “There’s a matching cut on the back.”

  “If you’re gonna do it, do it right.” Rose pushed her hair aside to look at the one in the back. His big fingers prodded the
skin around the gash and Lauren bit down before a whimper escaped.

  After several quiet minutes, she had to ask. “How bad is it?”

  “If you went to the ER, they’d put a staple or two in the back of your head.”

  Nausea rose straight up her throat. “I’d rather not.”

  Rose snorted softly. “Me either. Look, head wounds bleed, but yours aren’t life threatening and the bleeding has mostly stopped. Keep the cuts clean. Use this antibiotic cream to help heal faster.” He smoothed some on as he spoke, and then covered her forehead with a bandage.

  “Scarring?” She was thinking something along the lines of a Frankenstein monster.

  “You only wish you were that cool.”

  The humor surprised her. “You’re so right. I live to be a badass.” She winced as he lifted her chin to look at the bruising. “Is it safe to sleep after a head wound?”

  “Ryder said you were going to work.” The words were said in an even tone, like passing someone on the street, but it felt like a world of judgment.

  “I am going to work.” She ground her teeth to keep from saying more, then winced at the pain in her jaw. “I mean later. Will it be safe to sleep?”

  The hand on her chin tilted until she had no choice but to meet his gaze. “When you sleep later today or tonight, someone should wake you every two hours to assess your condition. If you’re hard to wake up or feel worse, we’ll reevaluate. The key is to let Ryder take care of you.”

  Fantastic. The one man capable of inflicting the most damage was now her nursemaid. Lauren leaned away. The concern in Rose’s eyes made her as comfortable as a cat in a bathtub. “Ryder’s cut is worse than he let on.”

  “He’s had worse.”

  “You’d know.” The army medic knew Ryder better than anyone, up to and including Lauren. If she knew so little, and Ryder kept so many secrets, did they have a real marriage? They were more like lovers who had snatched a few days together between missions. The sex was great, but the letdown was a killer. The pain of losing Ryder was as real as it got, and she wasn’t sure she could do it again. She blinked back tears. “Rose, do you have a first name?”

  “Yep.”

  “What is it?”

  “Sergeant.”

  She smiled sadly at the way he avoided her question. The men were all so silent, so secretive and aloof. Maybe it was an army thing. “What, is it like Dwight or something?”

  He laughed, his deep baritone riding the air like old-school jazz. “Or something.”

  “Can I ask you a question?”

  He nodded as he packed the antibiotic ointment in his pack. “Shoot.”

  “Do you feel fear? I mean not like being afraid of the dark or anything, but do you ever feel fear anymore?”

  Rose went motionless for a moment, just long enough to show she’d struck a chord. He glanced up as Ryder walked back into the room. “That’s something you need to talk to your husband about.”

  Right, because her husband was so forthcoming. The man strode into the room without a shirt. The play of muscles reminded her of a predator on the prowl with sleek, deadly grace. His jeans rode low to stay below the angry gash above the waistline that did little to detract from his incredible body. Water dripped from his dark hair, turning it black as a moonless night. The drops of water slid down his toned chest, making her hands itch to touch his muscled length. She forgot about her question. Ryder half-naked was the best distraction.

  Lauren dug her hands into her palms. “Rose, have you seen my purse?”

  “Over there.” He motioned to the desk. “Now for my next patient...”

  Lauren grabbed her purse and headed for the bathroom. She swallowed a few ibuprofen capsules and hoped it helped the constant ache over every inch of her body. Once she brushed her hair and put on some makeup to cover the discoloration, she felt a million times better. She dug her phone out and saw more than a dozen missed calls from Debi. Lauren pushed the call button and the other line answered on the first ring.

  “Girl, what happened to you?”

  “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”

  “Try me.”

  “First off, the truck is a wreck in the ditch about five miles from your house.”

  “What? Are you okay?”

  “I am now.” Lauren didn’t want to go into everything that had happened overnight. The events were a blur of craziness, unbelievable and hard to relay over the phone. “Can you meet me on campus with a change of clothes?”

  The delay in answering spoke of a story Debi had yet to tell. She hated coming onto campus grounds. “It’s not the first time Ryder kept you out all night and you had to wear the same clothes to class.”

  “Yes, but these clothes are my uniform from the bar and a pair of sweats. Crawford would ban me from teaching for sure.”

  A painful pause filled the static. Lauren twisted the faucet to turn off the constant drip. “Please,” she pleaded. “I was in a car accident last night.”

  “Are you honestly trying to guilt me into bringing you clothes? Girl, after staying up all night worrying about you, I am not in the mood. Watch it or I’ll have you wearing a housecoat and a pair of Goofy slippers.”

  Lauren snorted. She’d do it too. “Be nice and I’ll introduce you to a hot man who’ll let you do all the talking.”

  “I’ve already met Ryder.”

  “Men like him move in packs or haven’t you noticed?”

  “Fine, but I’m bringing the housecoat in case tall, dark, and quiet doesn’t show.”

  Lauren bit her lip. “I honestly don’t know if he’ll be with us on campus, but I promise in the next day or two.”

  “I see how you are. You want to buy now and pay later.”

  “Something like that.”

  “Okay, but you get what you get with the clothes.”

  “It’s got to be better than my bar uniform.” At least Lauren hoped. They said their goodbyes and Lauren shoved her phone into the pocket of her sweats. She wasn’t losing the phone again. Rose was stitching Ryder’s gash closed when she stepped back into the room. “I thought you said you didn’t want to do stitches?”

  “On you.” Rose grinned affably as he dug the needle into the skin on one side of the gash. “I don’t mind piercing a soldier’s skin.”

  Bile rose up her throat. She spun away so she didn’t have to see it. She stared at an ugly painting on the wall, waiting for the torture to end. Finally Rose gave her the all clear to turn around.

  Ryder yanked a clean t-shirt over his head. “If you want to get to class on time, we need to roll.”

  Lauren grabbed the wallet from her purse and handed it to Ryder. “Can you carry this?”

  “Sure.” He stuffed it in the interior pocket of his jacket before helping her into the black leather. Lauren twisted her hair into a messy bun that fit under the helmet. “Let’s go.”

  “Professor?” Beth stared at her from behind the coffee kiosk. “You look— Different.”

  It was the leather. Debi had brought black skinny jeans and knee-high black leather boots which were definitely not from the approved teaching attire section of her closet. Once she added Ryder’s leather and multiple bruises, she looked like a dominatrix with a leather fetish. It was marginally better than sweats. She’d have to avoid Dr. Crawford for the day. “Can I get the largest black coffee you make?”

  “Sure. What’s with the—” She gestured to her forehead.

  Lauren’s hand fluttered to the bandage. “Car wreck, last night going home from work.”

  “That’s awful.” Beth poured a steaming cup of black coffee and carefully placed the cover. Here on campus, she looked younger than she had last night at the bar. Her chestnut hair was pulled into a tight ponytail and she was dressed casually in jeans and a sweatshirt. “Shouldn’t you be at home or something?”

  “Or something.” Lauren swiped her dining card to pay for the coffee. “Am I going to see you in class?”

  Beth was one of her
brightest students, but actual attendance didn’t fit into her plans. “Hard to ditch once you’ve seen me.” Her lips lifted into an impish grin. “But if our professor takes a sick day, it wouldn’t hurt my feelings.”

  “Nice try.” Lauren grabbed her coffee and stepped aside for the person behind her.

  Beth’s face lightened into a beatific smile. “Hey.”

  Lauren glanced back to see one of the soldiers from the bar last night. “Baby Face?”

  Red stained his smooth cheeks. He reached out a hand. “I’m Joe.”

  Lauren introduced herself and stared between the two. Seeing the young soldier chasing after her student shouldn’t surprise her, but somehow, it did.

  “Joe is taking me to lunch after I get off shift.” Beth glanced behind her at the clock. “In six minutes.”

  “Six minutes? Crap, I gotta get to class. If you’re late today, Beth, I’ll know why.”

  Beth laughed and waved. Lauren raced across the quad to her class in the administration building. Ryder waited for her at the top of the concrete steps. “You were supposed to change your clothes and meet me here.”

  “I had to stop for this.” She lifted the coffee cup. “And I don’t have to report to you, Ryder. I have a job to do.” He walked with her to the classroom. “You can’t stay and observe. Go annoy someone else for a few hours.”

  He tugged her sleeve, pulling her away from the door. “The guys from last night probably won’t bother you, but the man who hired them may get someone else to do his dirty work. Until we figure this out, I’m watching your back.”

  Her heart thumped at the reminder of the accident and subsequent kidnapping. “Fine, but do it from a distance.” He raised a thick brow. She recognized the move and knew a lecture was coming. “Would you look at that? Time for class.” She escaped to the room and closed the door before Ryder could step through. The anger on his face promised payback. Fine. Time to have it out. He couldn’t walk away for six months and expect her to play the dutiful wife when he returned. They hadn’t used the word obey in their wedding vows for a reason. Lauren turned her attention to the full classroom of freshmen.