Calling Card Capers

by Dan Kelly

  “Hey, man, I’m sorry for the attitude. When I walked in here, the place was a zoo with people all over the place, some I knew and some I didn’t. I forgot all about the protection Don Ericson said he would arrange. He was going to introduce us when we were manning the phones earlier, but somehow that was forgotten when the phones started to ring. Make yourself at home and I’ll do my best to keep you informed as to what I’m up to and where I’ll be going.”

  “No need to apologize, Mr. Dawson. I was right on your tail when you entered the office and saw the surprise on your face. Where can I post myself and see anybody that comes into the office and still be out of the way?”

  “We have a spare desk over in the corner. That should suit the purpose.”

  “Okay, forget I’m here and go about your business. I’ll keep an eye on things. I must say. You and Ms. Vanderhill sure know how to stir up a hornets nest.”

  “That we do. I hope we don’t get stung in the process.”

  I place a call to Dr. Samantha Rutledge at her office and this time I am put through to her right away. “I’m sorry I didn’t get back to you, Mr. Dawson. By the time I cleaned up the mess in my living room, I was so furious with the guy at the pet shop who sold me the puppy and told me he was house broken that all I could think of was how nice it would be if someone neutered him. I forgot all about your phone calls.”

  “I understand Dr. Rutledge. Don’t give it a second thought. The reason I’m calling has to do with your brother Hank. Have you talked with him recently?”

  “I spoke with him a few days ago. Why are you asking?”

  “Have you had a chance to watch the news on TV today or read today’s newspaper?”

  “No I haven’t. My morning has been hectic with one emergency situation after another. What is this all about?”

  When I finish answering her question there’s nothing but silence on the other end of the line. I’m thinking she hung up on me, but just before I hang up she says, “I knew something was wrong when he told me he had quit his job to freelance and be his own boss. He was making very good money at Sub Rosa Electronics and loved his job. He gave me a new phone number to use, but he never said anything about moving. He said he was getting too many telemarketing calls on his land line, so he got this new number which is for a new cell phone he bought.

  “I know he has taken the death of Junior very hard and he’s been very vocal about who he feels is to blame for his son’s death, but his going the eye for an eye route is something I never would have imagined. He’s always been a non-violent, gentle, caring, loving man without an enemy anywhere. The last time we spoke he said he would be out of touch for a while and might be hard to reach as he was going to be doing some traveling to drum up some business. I never gave that a second thought. It sounded perfectly normal for a new business venture. Other than giving you Hank’s new phone number, I don’t see how I can be of much help. From what he said to me the last time we talked, he’s not going to be calling me for a while and he probably won’t pick up if I call him.

  “Don’t underestimate him, Mr. Dawson. He’s a very smart man and is most likely assuming that since you know who he is and consider him a prime suspect in the Crusader killings that the authorities will be contacting his family, friends and colleagues to try to get information that will lead them to him. He’ll distance himself from any of those types of relationships. From what you’ve told me, you have good reason to suspect him of being the Crusader, but as his sister who knows him better than anyone, I’m having trouble believing it. If I do hear from him, what do you want me to do?”

  “In the event you do hear from him, Doctor, try to find out where he’s staying and then pass that information on to me. Please don’t hesitate to call me if anything occurs to you that might help us locate him and put an end to this killing; places he likes to hang out in, things he likes to do to relax, his favorite places to eat, that type of thing.”

  “Okay, I can do that. I feel like a traitor in doing so, but if he’s responsible for all of these killings he’s got to be stopped. Hold on a second while I get his new phone number for you. I haven’t memorized it yet. ”

  “Thank you, Doctor.”

  She comes back on the line a minute later, gives me the number and as she is saying good bye she remembers something and says, “Hank likes to hang out at Irish or British style pubs. He likes the beer and the food they serve and enjoys a game of darts, shuffle board or billiards which can be found in a lot of those places as well.”

  “Thanks for the input, Doctor Rutledge. It could prove to be very helpful.”

  As I’m hanging up I’m thinking about the altercation Aldrich had at Casey’s Pub in Frederick, MD. It certainly backs up what she just said about his liking Irish pubs.

  The rest of my day is like something out of the twilight zone. We’re getting almost as many calls as we were getting in the FBI conference room, but many of ours are from folks with vivid imaginations telling stories about how they spotted the Crusader and even talked with him. It’s obvious to us that they just want to get their names in the paper or be interviewed on TV. What really surprises me is the number of people claiming to be physics calling to offer their assistance in the manhunt. Perhaps the reason these types of people are gravitating toward us is because the FBI’s image and reputation would be quite intimidating to charlatans or people seeking the spotlight for self-gratification. Who knows for sure, but Dawson, Inc. isn’t getting much work done and that’s beginning to tick me off, so much so that my normal general public persona of being an easy going, take it as it comes, kind of guy is becoming overwhelmed by irascibility. By the end of the day, I’m snapping and growling at every caller and everybody in the office which is not good for business or employee retention, so I figure I had better disappear before my world blows up before my eyes.

  As I’m driving home, I give Don Ericson a call to let him know that I talked with Aldrich’s sister and to pass on what she told me and to give him the phone number to check out. I never got the chance to call him from the office. My call goes to his voice mail, so I say what I have to say and hang up thinking he’s probably having the same kind of day I had and wondering what kind of day Janet is having.

  I really don’t want to go home to a TV dinner and a beer, so I call her to see if she’d like to join me at Morey’s for dinner. She answers on the first ring. “Vanderhill’s nuthouse, head nut speaking. Today’s special is free rubber rooms if you can bounce off all four walls without touching the floor. There’s no limit on the number of attempts. We’ll lock you in until you succeed.”

  Laughing I say, “It looks like you had the kind of day I had. Would you like to put on the feedbag with me at Morey’s?”

  “Sure would if I can find someone to let me out of this rubber room.”

  Laughing harder I say, “I’ll meet you there. I’m heading over there now.”

  Chapter 19

  Morey’s is already three quarters full when I get there, but I’m able to get a corner booth in the back which is a great spot for people-watching, one of my favorite pass times when I have nothing better to do. Twenty minutes later Janet walks through the door and twenty seconds after that every man in the room is watching her as she scans the room, sees me and casually walks over to the booth.

  Whether or not she’s aware of the attention she’s getting I haven’t a clue since she always projects the same image wherever she goes, a friendly but no funny business allowed kind of smile, accompanied by an attitude of preoccupation with some weighty problem. This for some reason creates an aura of mystery around her, one I’m finding myself thinking more and more about trying to solve.

  Plopping down in the seat across from me she says, “If you’ll order me one of whatever you’re sipping on, I’ll freshen up in the ladies room and then make your day by refusing to talk about the kind of day I had.”

  “It’s a double Bushmills on the rocks and I’m looking forward to your self-control.”r />
  Ten minutes later she returns and after a long sip on her Bushmills she lets out a long sigh and a tired smile creeps across her face. She doesn’t have to utter a word about her day. The sigh and smile say it all.

  I tell her about my conversation with Dr. Rutledge and then say, “Okay, enough about the creepy Crusader. Let’s talk about something more pleasant like where we plan to go on our next vacation or some of the funniest things that have happened to us in since we grew up and became members of the adult menagerie. I’m open to suggestions.”

  This gets a quick, enthusiastic response and we’re off and running for what portends to be a very enjoyable evening. A couple of hours and a couple more drinks later we’re really into having a good time when it’s brought to an abrupt end by Janet’s bodyguard who comes into the restaurant with some very scary news. “Miss Vanderhill, I just got word that the Crusader paid a visit to your office soon after we left to come here. He was discovered by a security guard who got a good look at him and shots were exchanged. The security guard was wounded, but not seriously, and the Crusader got away without a scratch. Your boss wants you back in the office post haste to write up the incident for your column in tomorrow’s paper.”

  “Okay. Thank you for playing messenger. I turned my cell off because I wanted to stay away from phones for a while. If it’s possible for your eardrums to get blisters, I’ve got to have a bunch of them because I’ve been doing nothing but answering phones for most of the day and my ears have been ringing ever since I got here.”

  When the FBI agent leaves to take up a position outside of Morey’s I say, “I sure am glad I invited you to dinner when I did. A few minutes later and you might have been his next victim. “It appears that the Crusader has given up on warning us and has lumped us in with the rest of his targets for elimination. Janet, until this guy is put out of commission we’ve got to make damn sure the agents assigned to keep us safe know where we are and what we’re up to every minute of the day or night. We’re also going to have to use common sense and look after ourselves as well. This guy is determined to remove any obstacle in his way to accomplish his aims and isn’t afraid to take considerable risk to do that.”

  “So, what can we do to keep ourselves out of harm’s way?”

  “We’ve got to stay alert to our immediate surroundings. We must always be on the lookout for potential danger coming from places like passing vehicles, alleys, parks, vacant buildings, etc. We’ve got to try to avoid being isolated from other people. That old adage safety in numbers is very true. We just can’t take anything for granted until the Crusader is removed from the picture.”

  “Well, this jerk really knows how to spoil an evening. I better get back to the office or Furious Ferdinand will have a conniption. Thanks for dinner and the laughs. I’m sorry the evening had to end like this.”

  “You’re very welcome and I thank you for reciprocating with some very funny stuff of your own. Furious Ferdinand?”

  “Herr Ferdinand Von Waechter, my boss. Ferdie to his face, Furious Ferdinand behind his back because he’s never content unless he’s ranting and raving about something. I don’t believe I’ve ever seen him smile or heard him laugh, but he’s a great editor. He was trained at one of the best newspapers in Southern Germany, Süddeutsche Zeitung. It’s just that he was standing behind the door when senses of humor were being handed out. Gotta go.”

  She then surprises the hell out of me by rising up on her toes and giving me a quick kiss on the lips before running for the door. This calls for another drink to calm down the testosterone.

  After my first sip, my cell sounds off. It’s Ericson. “I just found out about what happened at the Times. How’s Janet taking it?”

  “Like it’s a typical day at the office. She knew she was waving a red flag at an already enraged bull when she wrote today’s column and was expecting the Crusader to react. It surprised both of us, however, that he reacted so quickly and put in an appearance at her office not knowing for sure whether or not she would be there. I think the pressure is getting to him and his anger is starting to get out of control. In that state of mind, he’s bound to throw caution to the wind and start making mistakes. It’s what we want to happen and we’ve got to be prepared for the consequences and be ready to pounce.”

  “I hear you. Let’s hope the Crusader will let us get a good night’s sleep so we’ll have enough energy to pounce if the opportunity presents itself tomorrow. I feel like I haven’t slept in a week. Good night.”

  Suddenly, I am starting to feel drowsy. The accumulated effect of the Bushmills aided and abetted by the talk of sleep might have something to do with that. I down the rest of my drink, there’s no way an Irishman is going to let good booze be poured down the drain, pay my bill and head for the door, thinking that it looks like we may be laying the trap for Aldrich sooner than we anticipated and hoping I don’t fall asleep on the way home.

  Chapter 20

  The next morning around 9: 30, after eating a half dozen donuts and drinking at least as many cups of coffee, my bladder’s in extreme distress and signaling me that if I don’t do something to relieve the situation very soon it will and enjoy every second of it. I’ve been embarrassed before and I don’t look good in red. As I’m making a dash for the john, Piedmont comes barging into the conference room yelling for Ericson’s attention and I knock him flat on his ass. Not daring to stop to apologize for fear of Mother Nature taking control of things, I continue on to the Men’s Room without so much as an excuse me

  When I return five minutes later, Piedmont is sitting in my chair with a dazed look on his face. I must have really hit him hard. I do my best to apologize, but to no avail as he’s still in the land of ringing bells. Gradually, he begins to come back to the here and now, but he’s still has a confused look on his face and lets one of the admins escort him back to his office.

  When he’s out of sight and hearing Don starts laughing and says, “The volume of calls has already doubled this morning compared to all of yesterday. I don’t care if it triples. Seeing you put him down on his ass like that makes it all worthwhile.”

  “What did he want to talk to you about? What was so urgent?”

  Still laughing Don says, “He can’t remember.”

  I say, “Well, he doesn’t seem any the worse for wear and the phones need answering, so let’s get back to it shall we?”

  The rest of our shift flies by and just as we’re getting ready to leave Janet takes one more call and it’s the best lead we’ve had so far. She puts the call on speaker so the rest of us can hear and we get an earful. The caller is a male and sounds like he’s older than Methuselah. He has a raspy voice and he’s continuously asking Janet to speak louder. He’s calling from Anacostia Park Pavilion and he’s saying that he’s looking at Aldrich as he’s speaking. “I wouldn’t have singled him out from the crowd if it weren’t for a gust of wind that blew his hat off and I got a good look at his hair.”

  Janet asks, “What’s he doing?”

  “Just looking at a bunch of kids horsing around.”

  “What’s your name sir and how can you be recognized? Some FBI people are on the way to the pavilion now.” She said this because she heard Don on the phone instructing whoever was on the other end to get agents over there ASAP.

  “My name is Walt McGregor and I’m the only one in a wheelchair around here.”

  “Okay, Mr. McGregor. Please try to keep Mr. Aldrich in sight without being obvious about it. “He’s a very unstable and dangerous man and is liable to do just about anything if he feels

  cornered or threatened. Our people are minutes away.”

  As Don hangs up he says, “Let’s go you two. Let’s join the party.” Looking over at our body guards he says, “Follow us in your cars.”

  I’ve been carrying my Glock ever since the Crusader zeroed in on us and on the way to Don’s car I tell Janet to stay behind me if bullets start to fly or better yet find some place to hide until it’s safe to com
e out. “You don’t have to tell me twice. Wonder Woman I’m not.”

  When we arrive at the Pavilion a half dozen FBI guys are already there, two of them talking with a husky guy in a wheel chair. The other four were heading out of the pavilion and walking across an open field towards a wooded area. Don walks over to the man in the wheel chair to find out what’s going on.