Calling Card Capers

by Dan Kelly

  “Brilliant minds think alike. I’ve already done that. I’ve also alerted the FBI office in Raleigh to what we’re up to and they will post agents near the United Airlines ticket counter to pounce on Aldrich when he arrives. As soon as I receive the train arrival time from Mrs. Aldrich, I’ll pass it on to them and take the first flight out of Dulles so I can join in the fun of arresting him and hauling his butt back here for trial.”

  “Hold on a sec, Don. Felicity, find out what time the first train of the day leaves Union Station for Raleigh, North Carolina and the ETA in Raleigh.

  In less than a minute she has the information for me. It would have taken me forever computer challenged as I am.

  “Don, there’s no rush. When Mrs. Aldrich arrives at Union Station she’ll have to wait until 10:55 in the morning for the first train of the day to leave for Raleigh and it’ll take six hours to get there. She won’t be pulling into Raleigh until five at night on Friday. You can pass this info on to your guys in Raleigh now and Mrs. Aldrich won’t have to call you at all.”

  “I wish I had a Felicity at my beck and call. I have to share an admin with four other agents and speed isn’t one of her strong points.”

  “We can’t expect Mrs. Aldrich to spend the night in Union Station. Will the FBI spring for a hotel overnight? It wouldn’t be smart to take a chance on her returning to her house because the Crusader might have some means in place to monitor her movements, like another drone. If he does, it’s all over and he’ll be even madder than he is already and start looking for more blood to shed. If he monitors her at the train station and follows her to the hotel, he’ll probably check out the train schedule like Felicity just did and figure correctly that she preferred to sleep on a nice bed instead of on a bench or in a seat somewhere because of the long wait for the next train out to Raleigh. He’ll worry about her being found, but it won’t scare him off.”

  “I should have thought to check the train schedule.”

  “Hey you made a reasonable assumption. Union Station is a large hub for all kinds of consumer rail traffic and it’s reasonable to assume they’d have trains coming and going all night long. And Aldrich probably made the same assumption because he asked his wife to text him with her time of arrival in Raleigh. Forget about it.

  “Here’s a thought. Janet could fly you to Raleigh and you wouldn’t have to worry about airline schedules or missing the plane. She’d be thrilled to do it because she’d be on the front lines for another exclusive story.” And she’s earned the right to be there when the Crusader is taken down.

  “And of course then you could come along as well.”

  “Well, the thought did cross my mind.”

  “Okay, give her a call and ask her if she’ll do it. While you’re doing that I’ll ask for approval of the hotel expense for Mrs. Aldrich. I don’t have to deal with Piedmont anymore. I’m now temporarily reporting to his boss until a replacement for Piedmont is found, so getting approval shouldn’t be a problem. He’s been very supportive ever since I barged into his office and told him what Piedmont had done with your bodyguards and what we had in the works to corner the Crusader. I’ve also got to ruin the Treasury guys’ day. They’re not going to believe someone’s been dipping in their till.”

  “I’ll call her right now.” Click.

  It must be a slow day in the newsroom as I didn’t have to fence with the gatekeeper and Janet answers on the first ring.

  “Get a pen in hand and listen closely.” I fill her in on what Mrs. Aldrich received in her office mail and read the Crusader’s letter to her. I follow that up with a summary of the discussion Don and I had and then when I’ve softened her up with all of this I hit her with the request to fly us to Raleigh. “I know you’ve grounded yourself because of the possibility the Crusader could mess with a plane you rented, but I think right now he has other things on his mind.”

  “To have a front row seat when all of this goes down, I’d carry both of you on my back all the way to Raleigh. When do you guys want to leave?”

  “I’m thinking if we leave Dulles at two in the afternoon on Friday we should arrive in Raleigh in plenty of time to reconnoiter with the FBI folks in the Raleigh office and get out to Raleigh-Durham and find a place to stay out of sight but close enough to observe the take down. Aldrich knows who you, Don and I are, so if he spots us he’ll know something’s up. The Raleigh agents just have to act like business people and blend in with the other business travelers.”

  “Okay, I’ll meet you two in the lounge where I rented the plane we used to look for the plane the Crusader stole.”

  “We’ll be there and thanks, Janet.”

  “You’re welcome, Chet, and thanks for talking Don into letting me get involved in the finale of the Crusader’s vendetta. I’m willing to bet this was your idea and not his.”

  “You’d win that bet, but I recommended that you be brought into the picture primarily because it would make it a lot easier for Don to get to Raleigh in the time frame he is looking at. However, you’ve played a major role in the Crusader investigation and deserve to be there at the end of it and I pointed out to Don that you’d be thrilled to do it for the opportunity to have a ringside seat.”

  “I don’t care how you rationalize it. I think you were deliberately duplicitous and I thank you for it.”

  “Me duplicitous? Au contraire mademoiselle. I may at times manipulate the truth a little, but that’s a fib of a different color.” Laughing, she hangs up which brings a smile to my face that Felicity sees as she’s walking past my desk so she says, “Wow! I haven’t seen one of those on your face for a while. What brought that on? Did someone tell you a good joke?”

  “It’s one of those things that you had to be a part of to appreciate.”

  Smiling she says, “It didn’t by any chance involve a certain reporter did it?”

  “Move on nosy.”

  Laughing now she moves on to wherever she was heading.

  I call Don back with the good news. He doesn’t answer, so I leave a message on his voice mail and pack it in for the day.

  On my way to my car I call Janet to ask her if she’d like to join me for dinner at Morey’s, but she can’t because Furious Ferdinand has given her a last minute story to write for the next edition so she’ll be eating Chinese at her desk. I don’t feel like dealing with Sadie’s cupidity by myself tonight, so I head home for some down time with a beer, a chicken pot pie, some TV and a lot of snoring time in my recliner. It’s not the most exciting way to spend an evening, but there are times when a dull evening is the perfect way to unwind. I wake up at six the next morning still in my recliner so unwound I can barely stagger to the bathroom.

  Chapter 36

  I show up at my office a little after eight o’clock not knowing why I bothered to come in. I’m not going to get much work done because I’m already preoccupied with the ball we’re going to put in motion at nine o’clock tonight.

  My answering machine light is blinking and listening to the messages seems a good way to start my day, so I tap the play button and sit back with my first of the day cup of coffee expecting to hear nothing earth shattering. I’m not disappointed. A janitorial service making a pitch for his better than the competition’s customer service and quality of products used, an insurance salesman wanting to talk to me about group health insurance for me and my staff and a software saleswoman wanting to talk to me about the latest in office software have me believing I must somehow be flashing an ‘Easy Mark’ or ‘Sucker’ message to telemarketers everywhere because I’ve been getting a lot of these kinds of calls lately.

  I tap the erase button, finish my coffee and revert back to thinking about all of the possible outcomes of our latest scheme, some of which are disastrous. My thoughts are interrupted by my special cell ringing. “Good morning, Mr. President.”

  “Good morning, Chet. Where do we stand with this latest scheme you told me about? I caught Ericson’s performance on Fox News and he put on quite a show.
”

  “Aldrich has picked up the scent and reacted to the bait we put out on the airwaves and is cautiously approaching our trap.” I tell him about Aldrich’s letter and what will happen at nine o’clock tonight.

  “It sounds like your scheme might work this time. I hope so. I’m taking a lot of political flak over the lack of results with this Crusader vigilante and it gets heavier with each passing day without results. If this game plan falls flat on its face, I’m afraid I might have to replace the head coach even though I doubt it would do any good. Ericson has conducted himself admirably, but if I don’t appear to be trying to do something about the failure to produce acceptable results, it’ll be my neck on the chopping block. Politics is not a game of conscience, but one of getting the job done or at least appearing to do everything possible to that end and sometimes there’s collateral damage. Good luck.” Click.

  What a way to start the day, telemarketers and Presidential threats. I’m tempted to switch to Irish coffee, but eight forty-five in the morning is a little too early even for me. At nine, Ericson calls to tell me he got my message and that he got approval for Mrs. Aldrich to stay at a nice hotel at the government’s expense. “Twelve hours to go and then the curtain rises on our little drama. I’ve warned the agents watching the house about the firecrackers and told them to react like they were hearing gun shots and to come out of hiding to investigate just in case Aldrich has an eye in the sky to observe what is happening. If he does, he’ll be happy to see his diversion working.”

  I once again refrain from telling Ericson about what the President is thinking of doing if our latest ploy is a washout. He’s under enormous pressure from the FBI hierarchy already and Don has given me no indication that he’s a masochist.

  Instead I ask, “Do you want to share a ride to Dulles tomorrow or go in separate cars?”

  “I’ll pick you up at your office at one.”

  “I’ll be waiting outside.”

  “Okay, bye.”

  The rest of my day goes faster than I thought it would and I even brought in a new account, a subsidiary of a British Pharmaceutical firm who will be setting up a U. S. operation in Charlotte and wants someone to assist in the vetting of key executive management candidates.

  A few minutes before five I call Janet to see if she can get away at a decent hour to join me for dinner at Morey’s and she quickly says, “Furious Ferdinand just yelled for me from his office, but I think I can get out of here without him knowing I heard him if I make like a banana and split right now. I’ve got my purse in hand and am on my way out the door as we speak.”

  “You sound like you had a good day.”

  “If you ply me with a Raspberry Nancy or a Black Russian, I might share it with you. Bye.”

  I grab my coat and head for the door. Passing Felicity I say, “Time for me to make like a plane and take off.”

  “Huh?”

  “You had to be there. Have a nice night.”

  When I walk into Morey’s, Janet’s coming out of the Ladies Room and sees me taking off my coat. “I just got here and haven’t asked to be seated yet. I’m not in the mood for the Reardon Room tonight, do you mind?”

  “That suits me just fine. Ray’s kind of music just doesn’t jive with mayhem and murder. Pun intended unfortunately. That banana split remark of yours has set me off on a pun run. See what I mean. It’s getting out of control.”

  Sadie isn’t at the hostess stand tonight so we get no hassle when we ask to be seated anywhere else but in the Reardon Room. I volunteer, “We have a lot of things to talk about tonight and don’t want to be a rude distraction to the virtuoso.”

  The young lady assigns us to a booth and says, “I understand. The dinner crowd hasn’t started to come in yet so that won’t be a problem. Follow me please.”

  After we’re seated and the hostess hands us our menus and heads back to her station I ask, “How’s the head?”

  “Back to normal, all screwed up. The headaches are gone and I don’t have to take any pills any longer.”

  “That’s good to hear. So, tell me all about your good day.”

  “Not before I’m sipping on a Raspberry Nancy or a Black Russian.”

  “As I told your mother, I’m a real moron when it comes to mixed drinks. What’s in these concoctions?”

  “A Raspberry Nancy is a mixture of chilled champagne and a black raspberry liqueur. My favorite liqueur for this pair is Chambord. A Black Russian is a mixture of vodka and a coffee liqueur served on the rocks. My favorite liqueur for this combo is Kahlua. They both have a unique way of tickling the taste buds.”

  “Which of these dynamic duos would you prefer?”

  “Hmmm. I think I’ll start the evening off with a Raspberry Nancy and end it with a Black Russian. I like to get the best of both worlds whenever I can.”

  “I see Morey has added a new item on the menu, Ahi, Baby Shrimp and Hamachi Ceviche. You could put that in the middle and really get a buzz on.”

  “It’s my turn now to plead ignorance now. What is in what you just said?”

  “It’s a combination of two kinds of diced fish and mixed with shrimp and other goodies which are cooked in rum.”

  “And how do you know this?”

  “I’ve had it before. Once when I was checking up on some folks in Rehoboth, Delaware and another time in Atlantic City. It’s really quite tasty, but I’m not in the mood for seafood.”

  “I’ll pass. I don’t want to get schnockered. I just want to relax and enjoy the evening. I’ve heard that when food is cooked in flavored alcohol the alcohol burns off, leaving only a unique taste to the food, but I won’t take the chance that this is not the case though. I’m going to go with the antipasto salad and lots of ice cold water to keep the pallet and taste buds clean to fully enjoy the booze.”

  “Okay, well I’m going to have a go at the baked ziti with the marinara sauce and garlic bread sticks. I’ll pass on the house salad. I’m no rabbit, but I’ll have a glass of the house cabernet to keep you company in the sipping department.”

  I waive the waitress over, give her our orders and in less than five minutes we have our drinks.

  “Now, tell me what’s so secret that I have to ply you with hooch to loosen your tongue.”

  “You’ve got to promise me you won’t breathe this to a soul.”

  “I couldn’t be bribed with a dozen cases of Bushmills 21 Year Old Single Malt. Two dozen might do the trick, but that’s not likely to happen.”

  “I mean it, Chet. Promise me you’ll not repeat what I’m about to tell you to anyone.”

  “Seeing that she is very serious I knock it off with the quips and say, “Okay, I promise.”

  “I was called into my Editor- in-Chief’s office today and I thought I was in some kind of trouble, like I might have said or did something to really tick someone off. That wasn’t the case at all. Chet, I’m going to be promoted to Managing Editor. Ferdie has put in for early retirement to take effect at the end of next month due to some undisclosed health problem. When he submitted his request, he said he hoped that the seven weeks’ notice would give upper management ample time to find a replacement. The Editor-in-Chief knows that I’m not one of Ferdie’s favorite people so he asked me to keep mum about the promotion so Ferdie won’t make life miserable for me until he walks out the door. They also don’t want to be inundated with unsolicited resumes from aspiring candidates for the position. If when the public announcement is made the job has already been filled, they can avoid that hassle too.”

  “From the smile on your face I gather this is something you really want to do.”

  “To use one of your expressions, oh yeah.”

  “Then that’s terrific news and I wish you all the best in the new endeavor. Now, let me show you that my ignorance is not limited to how to make mixed drinks. What’s the difference between an Editor-in-Chief and a Managing Editor?”