Calling Card Capers

by Dan Kelly

  Well, he took the Raleigh news better than I expected. He didn’t display any anger or spout more threats to replace Ericson. I figure I can get on with my agenda contemplation during my drive to work, so I toss the dirty dishes in the dishwasher, grab my coat and car keys and head out for another day in the life of a D. C. PI, hoping there will be no more unpleasant surprises waiting for me to put in an appearance.

  That hope is squashed before it even has a chance to sprout some roots and grow a little. Just as I reach my car my cell rings and before I answer it I just know it’s trouble. “Hello.”

  It’s our local version of the Mad Hatter. Sometimes I scare myself with my hunches. “Dawson, I have special plans for you, that reporter and that Elliott Ness want to be. You’ve turned my wife against me and for that you’re going to pay. It may not happen today, next week or even next month, but all of you are going to pay. I want you to think about that. I want you to think about that every day.”

  “Aldrich, you’re a sick man. Why don’t you turn yourself in and get some help? Your days of freedom to kill are numbered anyway. The net around you is tightening.”

  Laughing he says, ‘Your net is full of holes. It didn’t snare me at the hospital, it didn’t catch me in Raleigh and your media blitz failed as well. Your days are numbered, not mine.” Click.

  What a lovely way to start the day, but I learned something though. He’s onboard a plane. I heard a flight attendant’s voice in the background announcing that the refreshment carts would soon be moving down the aisles and that the flight attendants can only accept cash for the drinks, but the soft drinks and juices are complimentary.

  At first I’m surprised that Aldrich was so careless, but then I realize he doesn’t care what I hear because it doesn’t tell me what airline he’s using, what flight he’s on or what his destination is. If we’re right about Andorra, he’s going to be the next one in line for an unpleasant surprise if the President signs off on the use of Special Forces. I’ve just planted the seeds for another hope.

  Impatience also settles in as I quickly hop in my car, miss the ignition switch with my key three times before I get it in and start the engine and then trounce on the accelerator so hard I leave a foot of rubber on the garage floor. Now I’m really anxious to get to the office and on that conference call. Five minutes away I almost get a speeding ticket, but the cop knows me so he just pulls up alongside me and with a palm down hand waves it up and down for me ease up on the gas pedal. I thank him with an embarrassed smile and a nod of my head and slow down.

  As soon as I get into the office, I call Janet and tell her to set up the conference call as I’ve got an earful for them. Fifteen minutes later after we’ve briefed Don on what Katherine had to say and I’ve unloaded my brief phone conversation with the Crusader on them we’re all jabbering at once about the pros and cons of using our Special Forces and the likelihood of the President giving the go ahead for such a move.

  We’re all in favor of using Special Forces, Don and Janet think it’s not going to happen and I have a glimmer of hope that the President will gives us the go ahead because when I brought the subject up he didn’t immediately dismiss it out of hand and said he would think about it. Of course, I can’t mention that conversation, but I can try to steer Don in the right direction.

  “Don, you have nothing to lose by trying to convince the President to give us a thumbs up. Get your new boss to run interference for you. The request coming from him will carry more weight anyway.”

  Besides, I’ve already opened the door for him.

  “Okay, I agree. I’ll run it by my boss now, but I doubt if I’ll get an answer today. Before you two go, I want to let you know that I’m going to pull the bodyguards since we now know that you are in no immediate danger of being shot since Aldrich is going to be thousands of miles away at least for a while. He’s apparently a do-it-yourselfer, so he probably won’t outsource his next attempt to make you pay as he put it.”

  Janet and I have no problem with that so, on that note, we all hang up to get on with our day. The rest of my day goes by without incident, but Janet’s is consumed by telephone calls from readers and the broadcast media reacting to her account of what happened in Raleigh in the morning edition of her paper.

  I know that because Janet just told me. We’re now sitting in Morey’s in the Reardon Room sipping on something that Sadie suggested called Paradise Shooters. Sadie has just embarked on a boost the bar business quest and is introducing her guests to a variety of new exotic cocktails this being one of them. At first she spouted off a bunch of drinks made with Passion fruit and we had to laugh because we knew what she was trying to arouse by planting the names of those drinks in our minds, so we deliberately passed on them to see what else she would come up with and we settled on the Paradise Shooters.

  They’re quite tasty and I’m surprised that I like them because I’m not a big fan of fruit drinks. Sadie said that they’re made with ½ ounce each of apricot brandy, orange juice and Plymouth Gin and stirred.

  After greeting us and going through her new drink routine, Sadie has left us alone not even mentioning my new do, parting my hair on the right instead of the left to cover the stitches.

  Janet says, “I’ve been waiting for a personal call from Aldrich all day like the one you got, but it didn’t happen. I wonder what that’s all about. I’ve been on center stage with a lot of my opposition towards him while you’re participation has been more behind the scenes.”

  “What? In addition to being a serial killer, you think he’s a male chauvinist pig and doesn’t think you warrant advance notice of his intent to make you pay for turning his wife against him? It’s something simpler than that. I think the reason he called me and not you or Don is because he just likes me better.”

  She stares at me for a few seconds wondering if I’m being serious, but then laughs when she realizes I’m pulling her leg. “Your charisma is hard to resist, but I think there’s another reason. I wish I knew what it was.”

  “Okay, I’ll get serious for a moment. Aldrich is definitely a conundrum wrapped in an enigma. He’s a very complex personality and I don’t think even he fully understands the emotion that is driving him to do some of the things he’s done. He’s in his own world of hurt, but I think he still has certain values that he’s struggling to live by and they are in direct conflict with the tactics he’s employed to settle the score for his son.

  “I think he respects you both as a journalist and as a person because he chose you to write the letter that your colleague intercepted. I don’t believe that was a random choice. I believe the professional integrity you continuously display coupled with your reputation for seeking out the truth and caring about people who have suffered unjustly attracted him to you like a magnet attracts pins and needles. These feelings are fighting with his anger over you helping to turn his wife against him and playing a major role in helping to put an end to his vendetta. I believe this conflict has created an atmosphere of ambivalence so turbulent that he’s not certain how he should interact with you.

  “This is what I think is going on inside this nut’s noggin, Janet. I humbly submit my opinion for your perusal. Dissect it and chew on it at your leisure.”

  “Well, well, thank you Dr. Dawson for that impressive extrospective diagnosis. I will give it my utmost consideration.”

  Our semi-serious banter is interrupted by Ray Reardon walking into the room and sitting down at the piano. Neither one of us is really hungry, so for the next hour or so we just sit back and nibble on some appetizers and sip our Paradise Shooters while listening to some very beautiful music. It is a nice way to finish off the day.

  At around nine, we decide to call it a night and I waive the waitress over for our bill. While I’m settling up, Janet goes to the Ladies Room. When she returns there’s another woman with her.

  “Chet, I’d like you to meet an old friend of mine from yester years, Susan Hunter. Susan has just taken a position as a Clinica
l Research Project Director here in D.C. Susan, this is Chet Dawson a private investigator here in Washington. Chet, Susan and I went to high school together and haven’t seen each other in years. We ran into each other in the Ladies Room. I’m going to stick around for a little while so we can get caught up on what’s been happening in our lives. You’re welcome to join us, but I think you’ll be bored to death.”

  “Thanks for the invite, but I’ll pass. I can be bored in the comfort of my own home watching fleeting segments of inane TV shows as I search through the cable fare. I’ll call you tomorrow regarding Ericson’s request. It was nice meeting you, Susan. Good night, Janet.”

  I rise and turn to head for the door, but Janet takes hold of my arm and whispers, “Not so fast big guy. I haven’t thanked you for dinner.” She then gives me a kiss that’s far from boring. For a moment I forget where I am and really get into it, but then I am reminded by some laughter from the diners close by our banquette and a few even applauded. I didn’t think a bow was expected, so I got out of there before Sadie showed up and put in her two cents.

  Chapter 43

  Don calls me the next morning to tell me his boss has passed our request on to the President and then the next two days drag by as we wait for the President’s Special Forces decision. I’m still hoping the President will give us a thumb’s up even though we haven’t gotten a quick response.

  About mid-morning of the third day we get our answer; request denied. I’m still batting a thousand in the hope department. I call Janet to ruin her day too and she doesn’t accept the news lying down.

  “Chet, there’s got to be something we can do to make the President change his mind. This was a political decision on his part. He’s afraid word will get out about his giving authorization for a covert operation and the opposition will have a field day criticizing him for doing so. Maybe through my column I can exert enough pressure on him to force him to make another trepidatious political decision out of concern for the voters’ reaction to his failure to take action in the Crusader situation.”

  Careful to avoid biting a hand that feeds me I cautiously respond with, “That might work, but I wouldn’t hold my breath until it happens. The President doesn’t come up for re-election for another two years and time and time again it’s been proven that voters have short memories. The man has been around the political arena for a long time and he knows this. I believe it would be an uphill battle for you to put enough pressure on him to get him to change his mind.”

  “Damn it! There’s got to be something we can do.”

  “If there is, I have no idea what it could be. Janet, we put up a good fight, but it looks like we lost this one and we’re just going to have to live with it and move on to other things all the while watching our backs in case the Crusader decides to carry out his threat to make us pay.”

  “Sometimes life sucks, you know that?” Click.

  The rest of my day doesn’t go much better and by five I’ve had it, so I pack it in and head for my car. When I get to it, the driver’s door of the car parked next to mine opens and a man not much smaller than me who looks to be somewhere in his early thirties and is built like a tank gets out.

  “Mr. Dawson, my name is Brett Conklin. Call the man on your special phone and he’ll explain why I’m here. I’ll wait.”

  Man, I’m getting fed up with surprises. This guy knows about the special phone, so he’s probably one of the good guys and I comply. The call is answered before the first ring has faded. The President must have been waiting for the call.

  “Chet, I assume you’ve just met Brett.”

  “That’s correct, sir. What’s up? Why all the secrecy? Although I am beginning to get a hunch.”

  “You’re quick on the uptake. That’s one of the things that qualified you for the relationship we’ve been building. Brett is Special Forces and one of only two people I completely trust on the entire planet, you being the other.”

  I keep my mouth shut because I think I know what track this conversation is on and I don’t want to derail it.

  “I want the two of you to carry out the mission you requested and you can tell no one about it until it’s over. And if it’s successful, you will only tell my version of what occurred. If you fail, not a word will be uttered.”

  “Sir, I have experience with weighty and dangerous situations, but I’m not Special Forces quality. Wouldn’t it be wiser to send in a Special Forces team instead saddling Mr. Conklin with someone like me?”

  “I’m confident the two of you will make a good team and get the job done or I wouldn’t be asking you to do it.”

  “Yes, sir. Does Don Ericson or anyone else at the FBI know about this and can Janet

  Vanderhill be brought in on it?”

  “Definitely no to both questions. When this is a done deal, Mr. Ericson will be given a diluted account of what went down and you can give Ms. Vanderhill an exclusive on our version of what happened. Trust me to address this without damaging your relationship with either of these people.”

  “Yes, sir. When does this mission get underway?”

  “It already has. Follow Brett’s lead and good luck.” Click.

  Looking at me with a questioning look but saying nothing, Conklin waits for me to tell him if I’m in or out. Giving him a nod I say, “You lead, I’ll follow. I hope I’m up to this. Deliberately breaking the laws of another country is something new to me and as my friends will tell you I have a poker face a five year old could read.”

  “You’ll do fine, Mr. Dawson. I’ve personally have seen your military service record and you performed admirably under fire. You’re not easily rattled and your civilian reputation stands you in good stead as well. You’re a little long in the tooth for this sort of thing, but I’m sure you’ll carry your weight.”

  “Long in the tooth?”

  Laughing he says, “Already you’re giving me static?”

  “And forget that mister nonsense. Everyone calls me Chet or Dawson.”

  Still laughing he says, “Okay, Chet and Brett it will be.”

  “What’s our first step?”

  “Go home and pack for a week’s stay in Andorra. I’ll pick you up at eight tomorrow morning. We’ll be flying commercially under our real names because we don’t have to sneak into the country. Getting out is another matter. I’ll explain how we’re going to do that during our flight which leaves at 9:45 in the a. m. Do you have a current passport?

  “I do.”

  “Good. Since we’ll be flying directly into Andorra we don’t have to worry about travel visa requirements because Andorra doesn’t require them. We might need them if we were entering the country via France or Spain, but that’s not an issue for us. Have a good night.”

  As Conklin drives off, the idea of me participating in something like this strikes me as surreal. The President was dead on when he said the Crusader situation has become bizarre.

  During my drive home, I’m thinking about how I’m going to explain my absence for a week to my staff, Don and Janet. When I pull into the parking garage, I still haven’t come up with anything believable. It looks like it’s going to be a long night spent trying lies out on myself.

  Chapter 44

  When morning rolls around I’ve decided the best way to lie is to keep it simple, so I call Felicity, Don and Janet and leave a message on their answering machines at six so I can avoid a barrage of questions which I’m sure I would be bombarded with if I talked to them in person.

  “Hi. I’m calling at this ungodly hour to let you know I’ve been called out of town on an urgent matter and I don’t want to talk about it until I get back, so I’m turning my cell off. I’m estimating I’ll be gone about a week. Keep the home fires burning. Bye.”

  It really isn’t a lie. What I said is true. I just didn’t give them any details. At eight sharp, Brett is knocking on the door with a cup of Starbucks in his hand.

  “There’s one of these waiting for you in the car along with a couple of pas
tries if you’re in the mood.”

  “I’m always in the mood for those kinds of goodies. Thanks.”