Smoky Dreams

by Jaeza Rayleigh

  Darcy felt Elizabeth squeeze his hand and he saw her nod slightly. He stood to leave, reluctantly releasing his contact with Elizabeth as he did. Richard stood as well.

  "As you wish, Mrs. Bennet. We will be back in good time."

  Richard added. "I thank you for the invitation. I have heard you are a superb hostess and Darcy has complemented the excellence of your meals."

  Mrs. Bennet blushed and thanked Darcy for his compliments. "I always try to make certain my guests know they are welcome," she said.

  Richard bowed to the other ladies, expressing his pleasure at meeting them. He turned to Miss Lucas last and added, "I found our conversation today enlightening, Miss Lucas. I hope to speak with you again very soon."

  Miss Lucas smiled pleasantly at him as she offered a parting curtsy. Darcy thought he saw a spark of attraction pass between them. He hoped it was not just his imagination. Only time would tell, he supposed. For now, he was under orders to relieve Georgiana of the wait to see Richard that she did not even know she was suffering. With a last bow to all the company, the two men left, promising to return soon with the remainder of the Netherfield party.

  Chapter 25: Dreams and Discussions

  Darcy's tongue felt dry, fuzzy and thick in his mouth when he awoke. The discussion he, Bingley and Richard had over drinks after their return from dinner at Longbourn had not been the best of ideas if he was to judge by his current hangover. While Darcy generally only drank in moderation, somehow sharing drinks with Richard on their first meeting after his cousin returned from an extended assignment left him in this state every time. He was never quite sure how it happened, because he always tried to be careful it would not. Still, here he was, hung over again. At least he had made it back to his own bed. Or…was it his own bed?

  Darcy groaned at the ache in his head and the roiling in his stomach when he tried to sit up and check. He was not certain at first if it was still too early to be light or if his eyes were just not working correctly, but after rubbing them a few times he could see a faint line around where he assumed the window to be hiding behind curtains. It must still be early. And the window was in the right place for this to be his room. Darcy dropped his head back against the pillows and groaned again.

  Scenes from the dreams that had awakened him flashed across his memory. He only hoped they had been caused by the alcohol this time.

  In his dream, Darcy sat on the stile that crossed the hedge separating Netherfield from Longbourn by the shortest path through the fields. A long line of women paraded past him, all dressed in fine evening gowns that trailed in the muddy field as they walked. Gauzy black veils covered their heads, without fully obscuring their faces and they wept as they walked, sobbing "Failed…failed…no marriage for me."

  Suddenly, Longbourn was just to the other side of the field full of women milling around in their despair. All the Bennet women emerged from the house, garbed like the others, except for Lydia. She came out last, wearing a red uniform coat over her gown. She waved with her left hand and the gold of her wedding ring glittered in the sunlight that streamed from behind Darcy, who now sat on a chair he recognized as being Lady Catherine's favorite. "Am I not clever?" Lydia crowed. "I did not fail."

  Lady Catherine emerged from the door of Longbourn and shoved Lydia to the side, knocking her to the ground. "Darcy! You have failed me!" she declared, pointing menacingly at him with the fancy carved walking stick she carried as an affectation. "My wishes shall not be denied! Not by you and not by her!" She pointed to Elizabeth, who stood with her veiled sisters and mother. "Shall the shades of Pemberley be thus polluted? Never!"

  With a strike of her walking stick on Longbourn's front step, the sound of which reverberated like a gunshot, the field became the ballroom at Pemberley. The women quickly moved to circle the walls, facing them, their muddy hems dragging across the polished floor, leaving dirty streaks as they walked into position. Cheap tallow candles filled the chandeliers. They guttered and smoked, lending a dingy light to the scene along with their distinctively unpleasant smell.

  A few men he knew wandered into the center of the room, but they did not appear to see any of the women, who were using the mirrors lining the walls to try to view the new arrivals. Elizabeth stood framed in the door on the other side of the room from him, dressed in the sage-green gown from his earlier dream, her veil gone. In one corner he saw Bingley removing Jane's veil, and in another Richard stood next to Miss Lucas, although her veil remained draped in place.

  Darcy tried to reach Elizabeth and invite her to dance, but every time he headed in that direction Lady Catherine appeared to bar the way, dragging Anne along behind her on a leash attached to a manacle on his cousin's wrist. The dance music began, but the veiled women stayed facing the wall, the group of men meandered around the center of the floor and Elizabeth still stood, waiting for him at the door. As he made yet another attempt to push past the obstacles and reach her, Lady Catherine jabbed him in the stomach with her stick. He had awakened with a pain in his stomach and the dry and fuzzy tongue in his mouth.

  Whether the dream was a product of the drink or not, Darcy knew part of it represented a problem he still needed to face. Lady Catherine had frightened him when he was a child. He thought he had grown out of that fear when he became an adult, but now he suspected he had merely masked it under an attitude of indifference. Why else would she loom so large or create such a problem in his dreams?

  Darcy groaned again as he realized part of the message in his dream might be that he was not strong enough to overcome her on his own. He needed Elizabeth to help him. That much was plain. Now, if only his head did not ache so much.

  Exhausted by the pain, Darcy drifted back to sleep. This time no dreams disturbed his rest, or if they did, he did not remember them.

  ~*~

  Darcy awoke a second time to the faint light of morning seeping around the edges of the curtains and a soft but insistent knocking from the direction of his dressing room. He grunted out an invitation for whoever it was to enter, and his valet came in carrying a small lamp and a glass of something liquid.

  "Drink this, sir. It should help."

  Darcy shielded his eyes against the light from the lamp, dim though it was, as he struggled to a sitting position before taking the drink and swallowing it down. He knew it contained cold willow bark tea and a few other ingredients to ease his distress. The concoction might help, but the taste of it was also yet another reason to avoid drinking to excess.

  Once he felt certain the drink would stay down, he slowly got to his feet. He draped the robe his man handed to him over his shoulders and stood, wavering a little as he did.

  "There is hot water for washing, sir, and I set out your tooth powder and other supplies near the wash stand."

  "Thank you, Chalmers," Darcy replied softly. His head was not as bad as it had been the first time he woke, but he still moved carefully as he made his way to the dressing room.

  ~*~

  A while later, Richard joined his cousin in the breakfast room. Darcy sat nursing his second cup of coffee, ignoring the food set out on the sideboard for the time being.

  "This never happens unless I am with you. How do you always manage to put me in this state?" He asked as Richard poured himself a cup of the rich black drink and began to sip at it. He looked no better than Darcy felt.

  "I really have no idea," Richard grumbled. "We never mean to end up this way, but somehow it just happens. Do you think Bingley survived? He never could hold his drink well and we had quite a bit here on top of what we shared with Denny and Bennet after dinner."

  "My valet said he did, but I have yet to see the man himself. I think any visit he or I make to Longbourn today will wait until this afternoon."

  Richard grinned wickedly. "Not so," he said. "You and Bingley agreed to arrive by eleven this morning to discuss wedding dates with Aglaea and Euphrosyne." His grin faded, and he took another sip of the coffee.

  Closing his eyes for a moment, Da
rcy groaned softly. He realized he had been doing a great deal of groaning that morning. Opening his eyes again, he turned to look at a small ormolu clock on a table near the door. It was already half past nine.

  "I suppose I had better make certain Bingley will be dressed and ready in time to accompany me. First, though, I think I need another cup of coffee."

  "Cheers," Richard said, raising his own cup in salute.

  ~*~

  Darcy was feeling much better by the time he and Bingley arrived at Longbourn. He had taken another dose of the willow bark concoction and had eaten a bit of breakfast. Bingley had taken a dose of the concoction as well, and certainly looked less green than when Darcy checked on him after finishing his third cup of coffee. Both men looked forward with dread to the company of Mrs. Bennet during the upcoming visit. The shrillness of her normal speech was painful at the best of times. Between the excitement of planning the wedding and the lingering effects of their hangovers, her effusive statements were certain to be excruciating.

  Dread or not, they had promised to visit, so here they were and only a few minutes late. Mrs. Hill let them in and pointed them to the sitting room. Fortunately, her voice was soft, and she spoke little more than to greet them. From the look she gave them both, Darcy suspected she knew they had overindulged the evening before.

  Much to their delight, Mrs. Bennet was nowhere to be seen when they entered the sitting room. Only Jane and Elizabeth awaited them.

  "We thought we might have an easier time making decisions if we do it without Mama present, so we sent her off to Meryton to do a little shopping and a lot of gossip," Elizabeth explained after they had greeted one another. "Once we decide which aspects of the weddings are actually important to each of us, we can let her have free rein over the rest of it."

  Bingley winced slightly as he nodded, prompting Elizabeth to take a closer look at both men. Darcy did his best to appear awake and alert, but she was not fooled.

  "What is wrong with the two of you? Did something happen?" Elizabeth asked.

  "We had a few too many drinks last night when we celebrated Richard's safe return from the continent. None of us are in the habit of overindulging on a regular basis, so we all had very strong reactions. It has been a rough morning," Darcy explained.

  "Hmm. Jane and I have been fortunate enough to avoid any such situation, but Kitty and Lydia have overindulged in the punch at a few gatherings and suffered a great deal the next day as a result. Mama as well, on occasion, but she always blames it on her nerves. Do you feel well enough to have this discussion today?"

  "I am well enough, I believe. What about you, Bingley?"

  "As long as everyone keeps their voices down and I do not move around too much, I am fine."

  With that statement, they decided to get started. After a little discussion they decided to set the wedding for Tuesday, February 12th. The final banns would have been read a few weeks before and Mrs. Bennet would have over a month to make her preparations. They all agreed she would probably ask for more time, but that meant the breakfast would be even more extravagant. They agreed to all stand firm on the date.

  Because they would have large allowances as part of their marriage settlements with which to buy any new clothes they needed, both Jane and Elizabeth decided against a trip to London to purchase a large trousseau. The celebration would be expensive enough and they did not wish to take away from the funds their father had available to provide masters for Mary and Kitty. After writing out exactly which items they would insist on, they all promised to back each other up when Mrs. Bennet began to argue. Only as a team would they prevail.

  Once their task was done, Darcy and Elizabeth moved to the opposite side of the room from the other couple, so they could talk in some privacy while each couple still ostensibly chaperoned the other. Darcy explained how he and Richard always ended up overindulging on their first visit together after Richard returned from an assignment.

  "I think we are both so glad he has made it back safely yet again that we fail to pay attention to how much we are drinking as we talk things over. Of course, now that he is retiring from service it will probably not be a problem again. I would rather not feel like this unless there is a very good cause."

  "I should hope not," Elizabeth said. "If this is an improvement, all three of you must have been absolutely miserable when you woke."

  "Trust me, we were."

  "I had a visit from Charlotte early this morning. She was feeling miserable for other reasons and worried that she could not face being in company with either you or your cousin again."

  "Whatever is the problem?"

  "During our discussion yesterday, she thought she was making a reasonable, if excruciatingly frank, response to the question about what she really wanted from life. After she left, she started to worry that it had sounded like she was throwing herself at the nearest eligible bachelor, trying to convince him to take pity on her plight. She never meant to be that forward."

  "I do not think Richard took it that way. I know I did not. In fact, I can tell you it helps to put everything out in the open so neither side must guess what the other is thinking. I do not know why society frowns on that kind of openness between men and women. To that point, I must admit I had already discussed Miss Lucas with Richard, putting her forward as a potential match."

  "You had? When?" Elizabeth looked shocked at the idea, although Darcy was not quite sure why.

  "On the ride from Meryton. I asked his plans and the subject of marriage came up. When he outlined what he sought in a wife, I suggested Miss Lucas. I think they would do admirably together on his little estate."

  "Oh, Fitzwilliam! She would be so embarrassed if she knew you were already trying to match her with your cousin even before that conversation. To think he was evaluating her as a prospect!" Elizabeth shook her head in dismay.

  "No, Elizabeth. I do not think that was how he saw it. The discussion flowed very naturally from your response to his comment about Denny's luck in marriage."

  "Oh, dear. I suppose it did. I know I really should not have chastised him for his words. It just sounded so much like the stupid and insincere comments Mr. Collins made when he visited. It seems every time I hear men talking about women all they focus on is the woman's beauty or wealth. Even your unfortunate first comment about me focused on whether I was pretty enough to dance with, as if my looks affect my ability as a dance partner. When he made a comment that seemed to say the marriage is good for the Captain because Lydia is pretty, when I am certain he knew at least some of the scandalous facts surrounding it, I let my temper get the best of my tongue again. Of course, I was really angry with Lydia more than with his foolish comment." She sighed and looked Darcy in the eye. Before he could make a response, she added, "You know this will happen again. I will do my best to avoid embarrassing you in public, but when I become upset, I sometimes just say things, even if I know they are stupid things to say."

  "Honestly, so do I, as you well know. We will try to do better and support each other. If you feel that kind of anger or stress coming on, let me know so I can help. At the least I will be aware that any cutting remarks are less about me than about your angry feelings."

  "I will try. I would ask you not to tell Charlotte you had been discussing her with the Colonel and please avoid being too obvious with your matchmaking. I do not want her hurt."

  "Nor do I. I will try to let things simply go whichever way they will. Neither of them is mine to control." Darcy had a sudden memory of Lady Catherine from the dream that morning. He started to frown.

  "What are you thinking about?" Elizabeth asked.

  "Oh, I had another strange dream this morning. I expect it was partly the hangover, but it did make me realize I have been avoiding even my fear of confrontation with Aunt Catherine over how she wants to control me." He chuckled softly. "Actually, she wants to control everyone and everything."

  "That was certainly the impression I had from Mr. Collins, although he was stup
id enough not to know what his stories revealed of his noble patroness. What do you plan to do about her?”

  "Well, part of what I realized from the dream is that I cannot successfully deal with her on my own. I think I need your help. You are smart and strong-willed, not to mention that you do not have a lifetime of experience being overcome by her. Your ability to verbally run rings around people, as you did with Miss Bingley during your stay at Netherfield, would confound and frustrate her."

  "What is the main problem you must face with her?"

  "She wants me to marry her daughter. Ever since my father died, she has insisted that some peculiar form of betrothal exists between us – that she and my mother planned it when Anne and I were infants and I am bound to fulfill it. Of course, my mother never said a word of this and the fact Lady Catherine waited until my father's death to speak of it is suspicious."

  "Have you not told her this is not your desire?"

  "Oh, I told her. She simply ignored me. She does that whenever someone disagrees with her. So, I began to ignore her and her constant hints that it was time for me to propose."

  "How does your cousin feel about the matter?"

  Darcy grimaced. "Honestly, I never asked her. I just assumed she was as against the match as I because it never seemed to bother her that I refused to go along with her mother's plan. I do not consider myself bound to her in any way, or I would never have asked you to marry me."

  "I appreciate that, and I believe you. The problem remains that your cousin might have some expectations of you built upon her mother's delusions. Is there any way you can find out the nature of her feelings without committing yourself to her?"

  "I have tried to think of a way, but nothing comes to mind. She never leaves Rosings Park. Aunt Catherine would not allow it and uses Anne's supposedly poor health as an excuse to keep her a prisoner. I cannot even figure out whether my aunt loves her daughter or simply sees her as a tool to gain control over Pemberley."

  "Either way she will be very unhappy about our marriage. Does your cousin correspond with Georgiana?"