Frost

by Elise Faber

  The rest of the doctor’s words faded away in the background when three words registered in my mind: MICHELE IS DYING.

  Time stopped.

  Sound ceased to exist.

  Sandy was held frozen, standing in front of me with a concerned look on her face. Other hospital personnel had been walking past and were in mid-step not far from her. A trolley coming around the corner would bump into him on his next step. But that didn’t matter. Nothing else mattered.

  Except that Michele was dying.

  My lovely Michele was dying, and she had known she was at end stage of this thing called leukemia. Memories of the past week came flashing by: my curiosity of her thin frame. Her bald head. Her lack of appetite. Her constant tiredness and sleeping pattern. Her enthusiasm with everything. Even her strange wishes now made sense. Her list: traveling, adventure, finding magic…

  50. Live forever.

  All along she had known she was dying… and she never told me. Didn’t warn me. Allowed me to fall deeply… madly in love with her. Then in the end, she had known she was going to leave me.

  “NO!!!” I shouted violently causing all the glass panels, doors, and windows around me to shake in agitation responding to my feelings. The floor beneath my feet trembled as my anger threatened to consume me.

  But the memories of the destruction I caused during Hurricane Katrina were forever imbedded in my brain, so I quickly left the hospital, left Michele behind and took myself back into my prison where my senses were dulled, which allowed me to think rationally.

  In the confines of my prison, I broke down and wept, feeling my heart shattering into million pieces.

  “You’ll never learn will you?” a disgusted voice called out to me from the other side of the mirror.

  Thinking for one crazy moment that it was Michele, I whipped my head towards the voice and felt my hopes deflate when I saw that it was just Floriza. Turning away, I sank back into the darkness welcoming its calming presence.

  “Are you just going to hide in there?” Floriza asked me in derision. “When will you ever grow up? Running away is the only solution to problems that you know of.”

  Trying desperately to block her out, I covered my ears with my hands and closed my eyes hoping and praying that she would leave me alone.

  “I sent you a girl who might finally set you free and this is what you do?” Disappointment dripped out heavily. “Why? Was she not hot enough between the sheets? I thought she was, given that you were going at it like rabbits in–“

  Anger surged through me and sent me flying straight for Floriza’s throat. The witch was expecting me and had braced herself, but what she didn’t expect was the depth of my emotion.

  “Don’t talk about her like that!” I yelled into the witch’s face strangling her neck as I pinned her on the floor of Michele’s room.

  To my frustration, Floriza disappeared into thin air underneath me, causing me to stagger on my hands and knees. Recovering quickly, I got up to my feet and circled the room trying to find her.

  “Who’s running away now, witch?” I yelled into the room.

  An evil laugh was the only response I got, which rang out around me until it faded away in silence. Feeling like a coiled spring, I waited for her to come back, but after several minutes, I realized she’d done what she came to do: get me out of my prison and expose the emotions that had been suppressed hiding behind the mirror.

  Like alcohol on a fresh wound, my heart split open as memories of Michele came rushing back in. It had been easy to analyze the previous events without all the heartache clouding my mind. I went through a phase of blaming Michele for everything, but without emotion tipping the scale, I clearly saw the reasoning she might have had on not telling me about her illness.

  She knew how broken I had been the last time I cared about somebody and lost them. Knowing Michele, she probably didn’t want to hurt me again and just didn’t know how to tell me. She had never been good with confrontations before and had found it hard to express herself to me.

  Devoid of real emotion, I managed to understand and forgive her for her deceit. However, having suppressed my feelings meant I had also turned away from the fact that she was dying.

  Now, the possibility of her being already lost to me sent me crumpling down to my knees.

  How many days had it been?

  Was she still alive?

  I would have known if she wasn’t any more… wouldn’t I?

  Like having someone’s hand stabbing into my chest and squeezing all the blood out of my heart, I bowed my head and cried.

  I had failed her. The only woman I had ever loved… and I had failed her. Just like the way I had failed at everything in my life. I left her alone when she needed me the most. Without even saying goodbye, I had fled away from her and hidden myself from this world.

  I was a worthless person… most definitely not worthy of her love.

  Ambroise.

  Surprised at the sound of my name, I wiped away my tears and looked around me, trying to find the source. Michele’s room was empty… just like it had been for the past few days. My mind was playing tricks on me.

  Ambroise… where are you?

  The voice floated to me from across the room. Frowning, I slowly got up. Was that…

  “Michele?” I called out feeling my heart start to race.

  Ambroise… where are you? Came a louder question from somewhere in the room that sounded like her.

  “Michele?” I called out feeling crazed that I could clearly hear her voice yet not see her anywhere.

  Ambroise… where are you?

  Running to the bathroom, I threw the door open and barged in, expecting to find her inside. What greeted me was an empty room. There was a lingering smell of her skin and the bath soap in the air. The towel I had used to dry her with was still hanging over the bath. Like a destroyed man, I walked over to it and brought it up to my face inhaling her fragrance.

  I was finally hallucinating, I decided. My mind had shattered along with my heart. Yet if it meant hearing her voice in my head for eternity, I would gladly welcome insanity with open arms.

  “Ambroise.”

  Closing my eyes, I imagined her standing behind me, her scent wrapped around me as I clutched the towel in my arms. “Yes, my love. I am here.”

  “Why did you leave me?”

  The clear accusation in her voice brought fresh tears in my eyes. I buried my face in the towel in shame. “Because I am weak.” I admitted to the empty room.

  “I kept waiting for you… but you never came back.” Michele’s voice broke on the last word, tearing my already fragmented heart to pieces.

  “I’m so sorry. God, Michele, I am so very sorry.” I cried out, sobbing into the towel. “If I could bring back the time, I would, and I would never leave you… ever!” Grief sent me sprawling down to my knees, desperately hugging the cloth close to my body.

  Lost in my despair, it took me a minute to figure out that there was a weight on my shoulder. It took the sound of my name and a gentle shake on my shoulder for me to realize that there was somebody in the room with me.

  “Ambroise.”

  Turning my head to the side, I looked up and saw the most beautiful sight I had ever seen. Michele, standing behind me.

  With a shout, I jumped up and grabbed her in my arms then showered her face with frantic kisses. “You’re here! You’re actually here!”

  Laughing and crying at the same time, I touched her body squeezing and pulling in my disbelief that she was truly in my arms.

  “I love you! I’m so sorry! Please forgive me!” I pleaded desperately. “I promise I will never ever leave you again. I love you so much!”

  Easing back, I combed her hair away and cupped her face up to meet mine. Pouring out all my feelings, and hoping to convey all my love, and remorse for the hurt I had caused her, I kissed her soft lips, rejoicing that she had returned to me.

  It was several moments before I noticed the lack of reaction fro
m Michele. Despite the passion and urgency in my embrace, she just stood there like an unresponsive little rag doll silently accepting my advances.

  Confused and feeling unsure of myself, I lifted my head up and looked into her eyes. It was like gazing into the eyes of a stranger.

  “Michele?” I asked tentatively.

  “I came back to give you my last wish.” She informed me in an even tone. “I made a promise to you to set you free with my final wish so that’s what I am here to do.”

  Guilt consumed me all over again. To think that she came back to fulfill her final wish for my sake made me feel lower than dirt. “Oh love, no. don’t do that. Use your wish on something else. Don’t waste it on me!”

  Michele shrugged looking indifferent. “It’s my wish, so I’ll use it however I like. I wish–“

  Acting quickly, I covered her mouth to stop her from finishing. “No! Don’t wish for my freedom! You’ll turn into a Jinn.”

  Confusion clouded her eyes while her hands had come up to push my hand away, fell back down to her sides.

  Not trusting the look in her eyes, I kept my hold on her effectively preventing her from talking. “It’s part of the curse.

  Until one would come calling

  With a wish that sets you free

  A wish freely given

  Is the key to your salvation.

  Yet the curse will pass on to other

  For the cycle has to circle

  “I can’t let you do that, my love. You’ll replace me, you see?”

  Giving me a look of pure disgust, Michele pushed me away and quickly moved out of reach. “You are really one selfish bastard!”

  “What?” I was now the one confused.

  “You will not even let me have a chance at getting my life back!” She shouted at me. “Look at me! My body is damaged! It has been broken from the moment I was born. All my life I have wished for another chance, another life and you won’t even give that to me?”

  Blinking at her in disbelief, I could only stare at the woman standing in front of me, hardly recognizing her from the girl I fell in love with.

  “I knew about your curse! You’re quite popular, didn’t you know? That’s the reason I came here in the first place.”

  “You – what?” Totally perplexed at the sudden turn of conversation, I followed her with my eyes as she moved around me.

  “I knew I was dying, and I needed to find a way to change my fate.” She explained calmly, picking up the towel I had left on the floor. “One of my friends had heard about you and warned me about how particular you were with your so-called visitors. I had to make sure you’d even give me the chance for the three wishes.”

  “You… tricked me?” I asked in disbelief. “But we love each other.”

  Michele gave me a sly smile, chilling me that she was capable of looking as she did now. “Do we? I didn’t expect you to look so yummy. I had to have some fun, right?”

  Feeling my heart break for a completely different reason, I could only stare at her, not trusting myself to reply to that. When her fingers trailed up my chest as Michele stepped closer to me, I felt my body recoil in disgust.

  “Come on, cowboy, give me my wish. I wish…”

  Before she could say anything else, I jerked her against me and slammed my mouth hard on hers, plunging my tongue angrily inside. Michele gave a moan in response and arched her body against mine suggestively.

  The brutal kiss only lasted a minute before I pushed her away from me. Michele slammed against the bathroom door.

  “Get away from me, Floriza!” I shouted at her in disgust.

  Surprise registered in Michele’s eyes before her face and her body changed to Floriza’s. Then her evil laugh rang out when I dove into her only to grunt in pain when I hit empty air and crashed on the door.

  “Don’t you ever do that again!” I yelled at the empty room.

  Her malicious reply chilled me to my bones. “I don’t have to, cowboy. You’re woman is dead.”

  “What did you say?” Dread poured over me sending my body in shock.

  “SHE. IS. DEAD.”

  “Don’t lie!” I shouted angrily… desperately.

  Her laughter resonated out again. “How long has it been since you last saw her? It’s been days, boy! You were the only one keeping her alive! With you gone from her side, she has no life left to live!”

  Ice-cold sweat drenched out from me, and I rushed out of the room. Floriza’s words followed after me. “The third wish hasn’t been fulfilled. The wishes are not complete. We are all doomed!”

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  My heart was thundering in my chest even before I set foot on the hospital floor. Floriza was correct; it had been days since I last saw Michele. The heartbreak consumed me so much so that it eclipsed everything and everyone else; including the first woman I had fallen in love with. I had no right to even be here. Michele deserved someone better than me. Someone who would have stood by her no matter what. Not a weakling like me who ran away at the first sign of problems.

  But she might no longer need that someone, mightn’t she? For all you know, she could be dead by now.

  NO! She was still alive. She must be… please let her be.

  Frantically, I sent out my senses ahead of me looking for her and was nearly destroyed when I couldn’t find her. I had left her at the emergency department that night. She wasn’t there anymore. Searching high and low, I spread myself across the hospital hoping to find even a small spark of her life, but after the third exploration of the entire building I still couldn’t find her.

  I fell against the wall of some hallway and slid down to the floor, feeling like the world had come to an end. I had been too late. Michele was gone. I had failed to be there for her even at the last moment of her life.

  I failed to tell her I was so sorry for being selfish.

  I failed to tell her I loved her no matter what.

  I failed… her.

  Hot tears fell down unchecked on my cheeks as I hung my head between my legs. Michele… my lovely Michele. Taken away before we even got a chance at happiness.

  A gentle touch on my shoulder startled me out of my reverie. Jerking up my head, I saw a hospital personnel leaning over me looking concerned.

  “Are you all right, mister?” she asked me gently.

  Wiping my hands over my face, I gave the woman a brief nod. “Yes, I’m fine. I was just–“then comprehension struck me, making me stare in wonder at the kindly nurse. “You can see me?”

  Confusion crossed her face. “Yes, of course, I can see you. Are you a patient here? Is there someone with you?” Slowly standing upright, her hand discreetly reached to the phone hooked to her waist.

  Acting quickly, I held her frozen and wiped our encounter from her memories, then I stood up and moved away from her before I released her from my hold. Without a backward glance, I strode down the hospital corridors with hope filling my heart. If people could still see me, that meant Michelle was still alive. The magic was still active.

  Feeling all kind of stupid, I sent my senses ahead of me again this time looking for a trace of my powers. Like a homing beacon, it lit up several floors above me practically screaming my name.

  Hurriedly, I blipped out and reappeared in another corridor. This one was quieter and the atmosphere was thick with despair. This was the floor of the dying.

  With a thundering pulse, I followed the signature of my powers and found myself at the end of the long corridor in front of a closed door. The real Michele… my Michele was inside, I was certain. Now that only a piece of wood separated me from her, I could feel the compulsion of the wishes.

  Suddenly unsure of myself, I hesitated on reaching out to open the door. How would Michele react to seeing me again? Would she be happy to see me? Or would she ask me to leave?

  Earlier when Floriza tricked me into thinking she was Michele and I thought she was looking at me with contempt, it almost made me turn away and fly back to my mirror. To see th
at for real would be the death of me. But before I could form another thought, the door opened and a middle aged woman jerked to a stop when she saw me standing at the doorway.

  A mixture of exhaustion, grief, and hopelessness was etched on her face. Behind her glasses, her eyes were red and puffy, which could only be caused by lack of sleep and constant flow of tears.

  For a few seconds we stared at one another without a word. I was about to turn away when she spoke up. “Ambroise?”

  Surprise rooted me on the spot. “Yes?”

  Relief softened the woman’s face. “Thank God!” she exclaimed then surprised me even further when she enveloped me in a hug. The warm embrace ended before I could react to it. Easing back, she smiled up to me then reached behind her to close the door, ushering me away as she moved forward.

  “My name is Amanda. I’m–“

  “Michele’s friend.” I finished for her, remembering the phone call Michele received on Christmas.

  “Ah, that’s good, she’s told you about me.” Nodding she looped her arm around mine and forced me to walk with her. Away from Michele’s room.

  Michele didn’t tell me about her, but I kept quiet and allowed the woman to drag me with her, casting one last look at the closed door. We ended up in what looked like a visitor’s area. There were several chairs lined up in the middle of the room where a rectangular table was heaving with magazines and old newspapers. Against the wall several vending machines offered a variety of drinks and quick snacks for those who didn’t want to leave this part of the building.

  Amanda pulled me down on one of the chairs and told me to sit while she quickly bought two steaming drinks from the coffee vending machine. Silently, I watched her, distracting myself with her busy body rather than dwelling on what I left behind, and telling myself that I wasn’t running away again.

  Just postponing the inevitable.

  When she was finally satisfied with her purchase and settled comfortably in her chair, Amanda turned and faced me. “Michele was right. You came back.”