Frost

by Elise Faber

  "Sometimes." The corners of her mouth turn up.

  "I thought you said once a soul turned down its reaper, that was it for them. Nothing more can be done to get them back to heaven or hell or wherever."

  "Oh good glory." I think I've hit a nerve. "Will, wake up! There is a spell — a way — for everything. We will get Jes— we will get the ghost back to where she is supposed to be. I promise. Everything will be alright. But you have to trust me."

  She squeezes my arm, and I find myself calming down just a little bit. It's this hotel. It's messing with me. It's making me think things I never would have thought in a million years. It is making me see things I don't want to see.

  I know this because when I look at the reflection in the off television across the room from us, I only see Jodi. Her hand is resting in midair. Her gaze is staring at the wall instead of at me. I'm not there.

  I'm not there.

  Jodi's phone sings again, and she lets me go. Just as she does, the TV turns back on. Night-vision TV is back in working order. Ghosts are being hunted in front of me, and when the screen goes dark while it switches to the commercials, I see Jodi on the bed. Phone in hand, texting. Next to her, I see myself. Clear as day. I hate this room. I hate it.

  Maybe a ghost never killed anybody.

  Maybe it drove the guys insane, and they were the ones who killed the women — all blaming it on a phantom ghost?

  Maybe…

  Maybe.

  I can't wait for this night to be over.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  Who Ya Gonna Call? — and Other Pointless, Stupid Questions

  A little after 11:00 p.m.

  Jodi and I haven't spoken much in the last few minutes. She's been on her phone texting, and I've been watching this ghost-program marathon on television, trying to figure out some sort of understanding of what is going on.

  Except on this ghost program, the two dudes don't kill the ghosts — sort of an oxymoron, right? They don't get rid of the ghosts; they simply tell the people if they have them or not. Simple. Clean. And no salt in sight.

  I think Jodi was just teasing me with the salt.

  What sort of person puts salt in doorways, unless it is for show? Unless it is to mess with me?

  Then again, that salt burned like a mother, so maybe there is a reason behind it. I bet it's not even real salt. Probably something different that makes a person’s throat close up and their skin burn…

  OR…

  Or it is a drug that causes hallucinations?

  I mean, what do I really know about Jodi except that she's drop-dead sexy and tough as nails?

  Did I mention the dimples?

  She hasn't smiled in the last few minutes, though. She keeps staring at her phone, typing something in to whomever she's talking to.

  Back to the topic of the salt, what if she is poisoning me? What if this is all some scam to harvest my kidneys or something?

  Ghosts?

  Really?

  She wants me to think there are ghosts here?

  My chest starts to hurt, and the walls seem to be closing in on me. I shut my eyes and try to ignore it. This is what happens at home sometimes. I get frustrated. My chest hurts. The walls close in. And then red.

  Everything turns red.

  From the outside of the blurriness, I see the red creeping in. The crimson that I know can't be good. Because every time after the red, I lose time. I forget what happened, and it's scary. It's freakin' scary.

  I don't want that to happen tonight.

  It can't happen tonight.

  The main reason being I don't actually want to know what happens in those red blackouts. I don't want to know what I do during them. As far as I know, I just pass out and wake up.

  Simple.

  Easy.

  Sometimes knowing the truth is the worst thing that can happen to a person.

  "Hey…" Jodi touches my arm, and I yank it away. Reflex. "…you okay?"

  I jump up from the bed and start pacing in front of the TV. No. I'm not okay. These walls — they need to stop closing in on me. They need to stay put. The red needs to go away. Just go away. “Leave me alone!”

  "I'm not bothering you." She says from the bed. She's sat up on her knees, phone in hand, terrified look in her eyes. I think she thinks I've lost my mind. If I have, it is all her fault. She drugged me. I know she did.

  "What did you do to me?" The red is closing in.

  "What? Nothing. I didn't do anything."

  "Don't lie to me!" Rage. I feel the rage, and I don't think I can stop it. It is like a switch; one second it is just there… It is controlling me no matter how hard I fight to stop it.

  "I'm not, Will." She holds her hands up like an innocent man the police have cornered. "I'm not lying to you. I swear."

  "Oh yeah, right," I scoff. My feet won't stop moving. I can't stop pacing. I need out of there. I need to get out right now. I need to find Jessica. She needs me. "You didn't put something in the salt to make it burn? A chemical that is making me see things?"

  Jodi bites her lip and blinks a few times. "You've been seeing things?"

  "Like you didn't know. Like you didn't even think about it? You put something in it, didn't you?" I'm yelling now, and I know that the hotel will call security any second. Then some poor thing who had to work Christmas Eve will come barreling up there with a chip on his shoulder. I'll just throw the magic burning salt on him and make him hurt. Seems the thing to do. Make other people hurt. I hurt, why shouldn't they?

  Why shouldn't they all?

  "Okay… okay, yes."

  "Yes?"

  "Yes." I think she's trying to stay calm, but her voice is giving her away. She's scared. I'm scaring her.

  I don't want to scare her.

  I don't.

  I only want Jessica.

  I only want my wife.

  I only want this night to be over.

  It hurts too much.

  I'm so tired of the hurting.

  The redness starts to fade out of my vision. The grays of the hotel room start coming back in full muted glory.

  I take a few deep breaths to calm down. I need to calm down. It isn't even that bad. Why did I get so mad so quickly? It's the room. It's the damn room. I hate it.

  If this is what happened to all the other poor guys, their women didn't have a chance. I still bet the guys did it, not some ghost. The hotel, the room, messed with them, and they attacked. Makes total sense to me, given the last two minutes of my life.

  "Look," Jodi doesn't seem to realize that I'm calming down. She still seems terrified. Not very professional for a ghost hunter, if you ask me. "Yes, there is something else in the salt. It is a chemical that can help trap ghosts."

  "A chemical?" Calm. Stay calm. "Does this chemical make non-ghost, real-live people have hallucinations?"

  Jodi's head tilts to the side. "No… what sort of things are you seeing?"

  Well, apparently it doesn't. "Nothing major. Some things in the TV."

  "Reflections?"

  "Or lack thereof," I admit and feel like a total idiot for losing it like I did. "Look, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at you. Sometimes… sometimes I can't stop it, no matter how hard I try."

  "It happens often?" She doesn't sound scared anymore. I appreciate that. I don't want her to be scared of me. I don't want anybody to be scared of me. I never wanted Jess scared of me — I really screwed that one up.

  “You don't know what you've got till it's gone.” I hate that song, but it gets stuck in my head often.

  I love Jessica.

  I need her to know that.

  Focus.

  "Not often. I don't think. It seems to happen more and more now, though. It's like… the littlest thing can set it off. Trigger it. And then, it is really hard to fight it off."

  "But you did."

  "What?"

  Her dimples shine at me. "You fought it off, just now, Will. You felt the anger, but you fought it. You won."

  S
he seems proud of me. Like I've accomplished some big deal by not Hulking out. I guess for me, I did. Too bad I couldn't have done that with Jessica. I sit down on the bed and let out a deep breath. Guilt. I have a lot of it, and it won't go away. Even five years later, it is still there. Still eating away at me. "Yeah…" I whisper. "…I won."

  The bed moves and, before I know it, Jodi is at my side. Her hand is across my shoulders, and her head is on my arm. Why does she feel the need to comfort me? I don't deserve it. I don't deserve anything but to be dead like my wife. I would be too… if it weren't for Jodi finding me. Stopping me.

  Jodi doesn't talk. She puts her phone down next to her. It vibrates, and I see the name Gabe pop up on the screen. Must be the guy she's been texting. Her partner. Seems more than a partner to me. My chest tightens again, and I fight to keep it down.

  I won't let the hotel win.

  I won't let the anger win.

  The only thing that is winning tonight is me.

  I don't want to be a monster.

  "It happened before, you know? Before Jessica died. Before the crash."

  Jodi rubs my shoulder lightly. I close my eyes and lay my head on hers. Comforting. I could almost cry. It's been so long since anyone held me. Since I allowed it. I don't want her to ever let me go. "You can tell me, you know? It might do you good to get it off your chest. Take some of the weight off."

  She's right. I've never talked to anybody about anything. I didn't want them to know how weak I really am. I put out this vibe, or I think I do. This manly vibe. Nothing bothers me. That's what I want people to think anyway. Inside, it's chaos. It has been for a long time.

  "I love her, you know? Jessica. I love her more than anything in this world. She was… beautiful. Beautiful inside and out. She was the kind of person people would kill for. She was perfect… and she was mine."

  Was… was… I hate that word. She should still be mine. She should still be lying next to me every night. I should make love to her every morning. We should be happy.

  She should be the one sitting next to me in Room 614. Not Jodi. Jessica should be comforting me, not Jodi.

  A tear runs down my cheek. I don't even try to rub it away. "But I was jealous. Jealous of her." I've never admitted this to anyone. Never. I don't even think I've admitted it to myself. "Like I said, she was perfect. I'm… not. She was so far out of my league I never understood why she gave me the time of day, much less married me."

  "I don't think you give yourself enough credit." Jodi squeezes my shoulders. Funny. Jessica used to tell me the same thing. I never believed her either.

  "I'm not very nice." I can't believe I'm saying this. I can't believe I'm actually this person. I used to be nice. And then I married… her. "I'm not. I got jealous. Every time I saw some guy looking at her, I'd question her. I could feel the fire burning inside me, and I saw red."

  "Literally, I take it."

  I shut my eyes to keep the pain at bay, and another tear falls down. When I open them, the lights flicker. "Is that all that's going to happen?" I try to make a joke. I'm done talking about myself. I can't… it hurts too much. "Flicker lights? When is it supposed to get violent?"

  Jodi checks her watch. "We have a few minutes. Calm before the storm, I guess."

  "I guess." My leg is so fidgety. It's like… I want to run. I want to get out of the room, but something is keeping me here. I don't want to break down in front of Jodi, but I suppose I don't have a choice. She's already seen me cry. More than anyone else — even Jessica — had.

  "What happens?" I ask, trying to keep from having to talk about Jessica and the last time I ever saw her…

  The last…

  At home.

  In the car.

  I told her goodbye and kissed her full on the lips. I didn't want her to go.

  I grab her hand and squeeze it until she screams.

  "What do you mean, what happens?" Jodi's phone vibrates again, and she shuts it off. That Gabe-dude is very impatient. I already don't like him. I hope he doesn't come in here because I like it just me and Jodi. It's easier this way. Well, as easy as it can be.

  "When you get rid of the ghost, what happens to it? IF this is a haunting, and if it IS Jessica, what happens to her?"

  Jodi never gets a chance to answer.

  CHAPTER SIX

  History Repeating — The Ties that Bind

  The lights don't just flicker this time. They full-on explode. The lamps behind us on either side of the bed blow, sending shards of light bulb all over the bed. Jodi and I scream and flinch. I fall to the floor. Jodi grabs for her gun.

  "A gun? For a ghost?"

  "Thought you didn't believe in them." Of all the times…

  "Can we drop that for now? Yes, yes I do believe— I believe — so don't be so sarcastic and tell me. Why. A. Gun?"

  "Salt," she says simply, moving her gun around the room as if she's ready to shoot anything that says boo.

  "The gun has salt in it?"

  "The bullets do."

  "That's… insane. Who would have been the first person to think of salt? Did a ghost appear to someone in a kitchen, and that was the first thing handy, so Grandma McGee threw it at the ghost, and it sent it away?"

  "Not the time," Jodi admonishes. "Bigger fish. Smaller pan."

  I stand to see what she's talking about. I can't say I'm very happy to be out of my hiding/crouching position. I feel exposed like this. Out in the open. The TV could clock me from behind, and then where would I be? Probably dead. Or knocked out. Or worse.

  If there is a worse.

  "I didn't think it was time."

  She shakes her head. "It's not. This is just the warm up."

  "Oh God. You mean the crescendo is worse?" I can't believe that. I guess I can, but I don't want to. This is bad enough.

  Jodi takes the time to glare at me. I can see it through the light given off from the TV, sort of like ghost-hunting inception. Only weirder.

  A second later, the lights come back on. The lamps light up like Christmas trees. Like nothing has gone wrong or been bad or happened. Jodi goes to check out the one on her side. I do the same. I'm careful not to step on the broken bulb-glass lying on the floor. I'm barefooted, and I'm pretty sure that would hurt like hell.

  Yeah, there are bulb pieces around everywhere. The glass really did break.

  And the lamps… the lamps are still working.

  Still shining brightly.

  I look down inside the shade and see nothing. Nothing to cause any sort of light because the bulb is gone. The light hurts my eyes. "That's… strange."

  "Strange is a good word for it." Jodi pulls the string on her lamp. It doesn't even flicker.

  "Have you ever had anything like this happen to you before in all your other ghost-hunting adventures?" I hope the answer is yes. I really hope it's yes.

  "Uh… would it make you feel better if I say yes?" She gives me a look.

  Oh no.

  "Not really. I mean if it is the truth, yeah."

  Jodi shakes her head. "Can't say I've ever seen a phantom lamp."

  "Good to know." I close my eyes and bite my lip to try to stay calm. I knew this night would be hard. Didn't know how hard, but hard. I know it'll get worse before it gets better so, actually, I should just be enjoying the easiness of now. I bet when blood starts smearing on the walls, I'll miss this little lamp fiasco.

  "Better clean up the mess." I have to stay practical. I have to stay calm.

  Which would be much easier if she didn't answer with "What mess?"

  "What… The mess." I open my eyes. It's my turn to look at her as if she's an idiot. "The glass. The bulb, whatever. I sure don't want to step on it and get some kind of infection that'll eat my foot off in a day."

  "Look." She points down at the bed.

  So I look.

  Nothing.

  No glass.

  No lightbulb.

  Nothing on the floor.

  In fact.

  Nothing anywhe
re.

  I look back inside the lamp. There is the bulb, all nice and neat like nothing ever happened.

  "That happened, right?" I ask. Please tell me it happened, and I'm not going insane. I don't want to go insane. It is taking everything I have not to lose my mind right now, though.

  "Yeah." Jodi laughs nervously, checking out the lamp on her side. "It happened."

  "And you saw the broken bulb?"

  "I did." She places her gun in the black band of her pants and reaches for her cell. This time, she doesn't text. She phones someone, probably Gabe, and starts pacing the floor.

  I bend down to make sure there aren’t any broken pieces of glass I can step on. I know what I saw. I also know what I see now. Everything is back the way it was before. Everything. Everything except me. I'm not okay. How can something make things like this happen?

  Is it the hotel?

  Is the hotel messing with me?

  Or is the ghost?

  "Yes, broke. Then it's just… I don't know… It's not…" I hear Jodi saying over the phone.

  I'm crouched down on the floor, checking out the non-glass situation.

  "We have about thirty minutes until it gets really bad. No… Look… I'm trying, okay? Don't give me that… I'm fine… I can do this… No. I don't need you here. Just trust me, okay…?"

  Then I hear the phone plop on the bed. When I look over the edge, I see Jodi pacing with her hands raked through her pretty, blond hair. "Trouble in paradise?" I ask because sometimes I'm a jerk.

  "Not at all. What makes you say that?" She gives me a half smile. I love her smile. Jessica used to smile at me like that.

  "I have ears." I smile back. Who in the world would smile in a situation like this? Oh yeah, crazy people. We both must be insane.

  "So… who is he? The guy you aren't having trouble with?"

  Jodi clears her throat and falls down in the comfortable-looking dark gray— would there be any other color in this room? — chair next to her side of the bed. "He's just being a little too overprotective."

  "I think you can handle yourself." I do. She seems to have this tough-chick thing under control. I'd be scared of her if she pointed that gun at me. Then again, I know it is only salt. I hope it doesn't have the chemical the other salt has in it; then yeah, it might hurt.