Cole sat heavily down. "I remember. But I haven't heard from Meagan since the day she left." Cole turned tortured eyes to his friend, "I have to face the facts, Pete. Meagan can't forgive me for everything Anthony did to her. She can't forget the hell she went through that night at Montano's. She paid a dear price for my mistake."
"That don't sound like the Meagan I know," Pete protested. "You can't just give up on her."
"Hell, Pete," Cole leaned his forehead into the palm of his hands, staring at his elbows which were resting on the table, "what am I supposed to do? Hold on to a woman who doesn't want me. Live my life pining away?"
Pete shrugged. "Can't believe she don't want you."
Cole allowed the painful memory of Meagan's departure engulf him. "She left without saying good-bye." Cole wondered if he'd paid dearly enough for his past yet, or if more pain was due him. He looked back up at his friend, "she couldn't even face me, Pete.”
"Maybe she's been trying to reach you," Pete offered. "Aint no one who knows where you're at. Meagan couldn't contact you even if she wanted to."
Cole shook his head. "She hasn't tried to contact me since I left."
Pete's curious eyes stared straight at him. "How can ya be so sure?"
"I've got connections," Cole stated, unwilling to expand on the lengths he went to be certain he'd know if Meagan had tried to contact him.
"Cole, you can't give up on her."
Cole shrugged wearily. "I didn't give up on Meagan, Pete. She gave up on me." With that, he stood. "Let's finish this house. I think I'll let you live here."
"I don't got no need to live here," Pete protested.
"Shame to let it sit empty," Cole stated. "You think about it. In the meantime, let's finish this place so I can go home."
They worked side by side, as they'd done since the beginning, building the sturdiest house in the whole county.
*
Stephen placed the letter on the top of the small stack that had been building on Cole's dresser. It was from Bethany. He turned to leave when he noticed the stuffiness of the room. It didn't feel lived in. He opened a window then exited the room. He left the door open to allow circulation.
A stiff breeze cleansed the room of the stuffy air, and the rustling of paper could be heard as the breeze gently picked up the top envelope from the pile and tossed it to the floor. It fell silently and a second, stronger gust blew it across the smooth, wooden floor until it came to rest beneath the bed. It remained there, untouched. Nature had played a cruel trick on fate.
Stephen left Cole’s room and found his ma in the kitchen. He snuck up behind her and kissed her cheek as he reached around her and stole an apple.
Anne grabbed for the apple, but missed. "Stephen, those are for my pie."
"Sorry." He took a huge bite, grinning as he chewed. “You want it back?”
She flicked her wrist at him, "go on with you."
"Cole got a letter from Bethany. I put it with the rest."
Anne nodded. "Maybe someday he'll come home and read them."
Stephen pulled a paper from his pocket. "Sarah got another letter from Meagan."
"Have you given it to her yet?"
"No."
"Are you planning on giving it to her?"
Stephen frowned, "I don't see why the two of you keep communicating with Meagan. She shot Cole then left before she even knew if he’d live or die.”
"Stephen, Meagan’s a friend."
"You sound just like Sarah," Stephen complained. “Meagan broke Cole’s heart, and I, for one, don’t want to see it happen again.”
"Stephen," Anne warned, "what happens between Cole and Meagan should remain between Cole and Meagan. You have no right to interfere."
Stephen recalled the one letter Cole would never see. It had come from Meagan. He'd received it shortly after she’d disappeared, while Cole was still recovering. Stephen had planned to give it to Cole after he recuperated, but as weeks passed, it just seemed better not to bring Meagan up at all. He never told anyone about the letter, not even Sarah. It sat, unopened, in his dresser drawer.
"When do you think Cole will come home?" Stephen asked.
Anne stopped peeling apples and stared blankly at the pastry crust. "I wish I knew, Stephen.”
"Two months is a long time without a single word."
Anne sighed. "I know it is."
Stephen kissed the top of her head. “He'll be okay, Ma”
She nodded and went back to her task.
"Do I get one of those?"
Two pairs of eyes turned to the door.
"Cole!" Anne threw herself into her son’s arms.
"Tears, Ma,” Cole teased as he smiled tenderly at her.
She half giggled, half sobbed, “I missed you.” She backed away far enough to swat him with her hand. "You had me worried sick."
"I know.” Cole’s grin faded. "I needed some time away."
Anne shook her head. "You don't have to explain anything, Cole."
He nodded his appreciation.
"Hey, big brother, what about me?"
Cole turned to Stephen. He hadn't realized how much he'd missed him. "Come here, you," he embraced his brother. It was good to be home.
"What's this, a family reunion?" Sarah asked as she entered the room, a smile warming her face.
Stephen extracted himself from Cole and rested his arm across Sarah's shoulders. "This,” he claimed proudly, “is my bride to be."
Cole threw back his head and roared with laughter. "I can't leave for a minute without you getting yourself in heaps of trouble."
"Pile after pile of it," Stephen complained, grunting as he got an elbow in his ribs.
Cole approached Sarah. "Welcome to the family, sis."
"Thanks, Cole." Sarah tilted her head and accepted a kiss on her cheek.
Cole stepped back. "How's things going with your pa?"
"Much better," Sarah flashed a smile toward her fiancé’. "Stephen's laid into him real hard, and he hasn't had a drink since before you left."
It was more good news to come home to. "That's great, Sarah."
"In fact," Sarah stated happily, "last week we moved back in with him."
A big grin followed that news. "I thought it was awful quiet around here."
Sarah laughed. "I don't know how to thank you for all you've done for my family, Cole. Without you and Stephen,”
“Enough said,” Cole held up his hand.
Sarah nodded. "I only wish that you and.."
"Well," Anne interrupted, "there won't be a wedding if you two boys don't let us women start planning."
"Sarah's determined to have a September wedding,” Stephen informed Cole, “but she continues putting off the plans."
"Stephen McAllister, that's not a bit true," Sarah protested. "Every time I begin to plan, you drag me away to do your bidding. I can’t get a second away from you.”
"So true," Stephen admitted as he gathered her close.
She pushed against him. "Go on with you, now. Leave me with your mother."
He grinned happily and turned to Cole. "Let's go find pa. He'll be glad to see you. We've had some trouble on the south end that you might be able to help with.”
"Stephen."
"Yea, ma?"
"Didn't you have something to give to Sarah?"
Stephen frowned. "Oh, yea," he removed an envelope and handed it to Sarah.
Cole caught the strange expression that passed between the two. "What's that?"
"Just a letter for Sarah," Stephen said, placing his hand on Cole’s shoulder and guiding him away. "About those pastures I was telling you about. Pa thinks.."
Anne watched them disappear. "Stephen's missed him."
Sarah nodded as she tore into the letter.
“What’s it say,” Anne asked impatiently.
“Give me a second,” Sarah mumbled as she continued reading. "Oh, my gosh."
"What is it, Sarah?" Anne didn't like being left in the dark. "What's her
news?"
Sarah sat down heavily. "I think you'd better read this one for yourself."
"Oh my gosh," Anne repeated as she, too, sunk heavily into the chair beside Sarah. "What are we going to do now?"
"Continue with our original plan. What else?"
Anne nodded her agreement. "Now that Cole's home, it should be easier than ever. When Meagan returns for your wedding, and they see each other again,"
"She will come, won't she?" Sarah interrupted, worry apparent on her face.
"She'll come," Anne answered with confidence. "I've got Bethany taking care of that."
Sarah sat back and placed her hands in her lap. "I wonder if Meagan will be showing by then?"
Anne rolled her eyes skyward. "Heaven only knows what would happen then."
Anne sat beside Sarah, their heads together, as they planned a wedding that would outshine all others.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
"I can't go." Meagan absently fingered the letter in her hand.
Beth ignored the stubborn set of Meagan's shoulders. "You have to go, Meagan. Sarah is your dearest friend.
"But Cole will be there."
"So will Anne, and Toby, and all the other children you miss so much."
"But what if Cole finds out I'm pregnant."
Beth could think of nothing better that could happen. "Meagan, you'll be fine. You can't even tell, yet."
Meagan touched her hand to her stomach. "I can. I feel like a bloated pig."
Beth laughed. "You haven't even begun to bloat yet, Meagan. Just wait a few months."
"Still," Meagan pondered, "it is possible he'll figure it out." She shook her head. "No. I won't go. I'll just have to write to Sarah and explain."
"Meagan," Beth reasoned, "there's no time. She's getting married in two days."
"I know." Meagan lowered herself into a chair. "Why didn't she invite me sooner?"
Beth could hardly confess that it was all part of the plan. It gave Meagan less time to back out. She'd received her invitation weeks ago. "I don't know why, Meagan," Beth lied, "all I know is that you must go."
"I can't." Terrified eyes met hers. "I can't face him again. Not now."
Beth watched with frustration as Meagan stood, picking up Tommy and carrying him outside with her. Nothing was working as planned. She'd been certain, once Cole received her letter that he'd be on the first stage to Jensen. But he hadn't shown. It worried her. Now, with the wedding so close, Meagan was absolutely refusing to go. "Well," Bethany smiled at Charlene, "there's only one thing your mom can do."
"What mommy?"
Beth touched a finger to her daughter’s nose. "Never mind, darling, this conversation is between Meagan and me."
Charlene grinned, squinting her eyes at her. "Okay, mommy."
Beth tickled her daughter affectionately. "Let's go outside." Beth found Meagan sitting with Tommy, looking none too happy. Charlene ran to play with Peter. Beth sat down beside Meagan. "I have something to confess to you."
Meagan sat Tommy on the ground and turned curious eyes Beth’s way. "What?"
Beth frowned. "You're not going to like it."
She had Meagan's full attention now. "What am I not going to like."
Beth fidgeted, smoothing Tommy's hair nervously with her fingertips. "I haven't told you everything about me."
Meagan's eyebrow rose a fraction. "Yes?"
Beth took a deep breath. "You know me as Beth. My family calls me Bethany."
All color left Meagan's cheeks as she squeaked, "Bethany?"
Grimacing, Beth quickly finished. "I'm Cole's sister."
Meagan pressed her lips together. Raw hurt glittered brightly in her emerald eyes. "You let me confess my deepest secrets," she choked on her own words, "all the while knowing exactly who I was?"
"Meagan, I didn't mean to deceive you, I"
"Didn't you?" Her words were laced with ice as she stared at Beth. "I think that's exactly what you intended."
"Alright," Beth conceded, "I didn't tell you who I was because I wanted to find out more about you,” she admitted.
"What more could you possibly need to know?" Meagan stood. "I shot your brother. I left him for dead. Now, I’m carrying his child but have no intention of telling him." Her heated gaze met Beth's. "What else would you like to know?"
"Meagan, stop this. Let me explain."
Meagan paced circles around Beth. "Let me think. What haven't I told you?" She placed two fingers to her forehead in an exaggerated motion of concentration. "I know!" She flung her hands wide. "I haven't told you how many times Cole and I made love. Let me think."
Beth was stunned into silence as Meagan continued.
"There was the time not long after Cole found out I'd lied to him about my pa. I'd also lied about my ability to cook, and to sew. That was a good one."
"Meagan, stop this." Beth stood, grabbing her shoulders.
Meagan placed her arms together and flung them upwards, forcing Beth to release her. "Then there was the time I coerced him to my bed after promising I'd help him catch a cattle thief, knowing all the while I might not be able to keep that promise. That was a proud moment." She gave a choked, desperate laugh, "is that devious enough to satisfy your lust for news?"
"Meagan, I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I didn’t want to hurt you."
"Hurt?" Meagan's voice rose shrilly, "hurt? No, this doesn't hurt," her anger deflated and she plopped back into her chair. "What hurts is that no matter how I try, or what I do, everyone I love, I lose. She sighed, "I loved my pa, and he was murdered. I love Stephen, and your ma and pa, but I can't even talk to them after what I did to Cole. I love Sarah, and I can't even go to her wedding for fear of revealing the greatest love of all, my love for your brother." Meagan's lips quivered uncontrollably as she turned to Beth, confessing in an unsteady voice, "I love you, and now I'm losing you, too."
"Oh, Meagan," Beth sat again, crying right along with her. "I'll always be here for you, whatever happens. I promise you that."
Meagan flung herself into Beth’s arms, sobbing. She couldn't do this alone any more. Tears cleansed her tortured soul. Tears that she knew she should have shed long ago.
"Mommy, why you cry?"
Meagan pulled away, turning teary eyes toward Tommy, who was standing beside them, patting Beth's hair gently, consoling her. She watched Beth lift him onto her lap.
"Mommy's crying because she very much wants Meagan's forgiveness and friendship."
Tommy's wide eyes looked up at Meagan. "Why Meagan's crying?"
Meagan sniffed loudly, laughing and crying at the same time. "I'm crying because I very much need your mommy's forgiveness and friendship."
Meagan met Beth's gaze, and they smiled through their tears. Tommy quickly lost interest when the tears stopped and walked away, plopping down several feet away to study a very interesting bug.
"Friends?"
Meagan nodded. "Friends," she agreed. "Guess what else?"
Beth raised an inquiring brow.
"I'm going to Sarah's wedding."
Beth clapped her hands in glee, “what changed your mind?”
Meagan shrugged. “I guess you did.”
“Me?” Beth teased.
“I figure,” Meagan explained, “that a friend matters more than some stupid fear I have of facing a man who doesn’t even care about me anymore.”
“We'll leave tomorrow," Beth said, deciding not to argue Meagan’s last statement. Time would tell.
*
Cole was happy for Stephen, yet a small part of him was jealous as he watched his brother with Sarah. He would marry tomorrow, and Stephen appeared as happy as a kitten with a bowl full of cream.
"Hey, Stephen," Cole teased as he watched his brother kiss Sarah for the third time that morning, "save it for after the wedding."
Sarah blushed prettily, and Stephen grinned from ear to ear. "Right now tomorrow seems a long way off." With that he kissed her again, full on the mouth. Sarah protested only briefly before
succumbing.
Cole laughed as he walked to his room. He was still smiling as he plopped sideways on his bed. Stephen deserved happiness. He swung his foot back and forth across the floor in an unconscious movement as he contemplated his future. It was a bleak thought.
His foot caught on something slippery, and Cole sat up, lifting the edge of the spread. He picked up a letter. It was from Bethany. Cole opened it, wondering briefly how it ended up under his bed, but seconds later, all thoughts vanished but one. He had to get to Jensen, and fast!
Cole didn't change clothes or pack, but headed straight out his bedroom, down the stairs, out the front door, to the stables where he saddled Lucifer and galloped away. The letter lay, face up on the bed. It said:
Cole,
Meagan's living here in Jensen, with me. She's marrying the banker in two weeks, but I'm convinced she still loves you. Hurry.
Your sister,
Bethany
The letter was dated two weeks ago, today.
*
Meagan couldn't sit still as the carriage ambled through Blue Mountain, much too slow for her taste. Bryan and Beth sat on one seat, with Charlene in the center and Tommy on Beth's lap. Meagan sat beside Peter on the other seat. They were minutes away from the ranch, and she could hardly wait.
"Fidgeting won't help us get there any sooner," Beth teased.
"I know." Meagan forced herself to sit still. Her hands began a continuous tapping motion on the seat beside her.
Charlene pulled on Beth's dress. "Why is Meagan so fidgety, mama?"
Beth smiled. "Because she's going to see your uncle Cole."
Meagan turned startled eyes towards both mother, and daughter. "That's not true, Charlene," Meagan corrected firmly, "it's because I'm going to see your grandma and grandpa, your uncle Stephen, and lots of friends."
"Don't you like Uncle Cole?" Charlene asked with a puzzled frown.
Meagan blushed prettily. "I like him just fine."
Charlene nodded happily. "Me too. He's nice."
Beth grinned mischievously. Meagan turned her head away. Minutes later they were at the ranch.
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