Meanwhile, forty miles away, Cole was riding into Jensen, Utah. He was determined to stop this ridiculous wedding. He sped through town, straight to his sister's home, ready to talk some sense into Meagan.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
Meagan tried to concentrate on the vows that Sarah and Stephen were exchanging, but one thought continued to resurface. Cole hated her with such intensity that he'd chosen to miss his brother's wedding rather than attend it with her present. She would have left immediately upon her arrival if it would it have done a bit of good. But no one knew where Cole had gone. Even if she'd left, no one could have told him.
Sarah had insisted she stay, and Stephen had reluctantly agreed. She wanted to be happy for Sarah, but the truth was her heart was breaking. Deep down Meagan realized she'd been hoping that coming here would make things better. That Cole would forgive her. It was time to push aside the false hopes and face reality.
A sudden commotion behind her drew her attention, and Meagan's eyes collided with Cole's. Panic seared through her as she watched him approach her. She breathed easier when Stephen caught his attention. Cole paused only a moment before taking his rightful place beside his brother.
A deep joy settled within Meagan. He'd come. He was dressed in jeans and a worn shirt, his hat had left his hair slightly crushed, and he hadn't shaven. No one seemed to care a bit. She hadn't ruined Stephen and Sarah's day, after all.
Meagan slipped quietly from the church. She wouldn't allow her presence to stifle the joy of this day. Not for Sarah or Stephen, and especially not for Cole. Meagan had ridden to town with Judd and Anne, but she knew they'd be able to get a ride back to the ranch with Beth. A large celebration was planned there in less than an hour, and Meagan wanted to be far away before then. She borrowed the carriage and headed back to the ranch.
She paid a short visit to Toby, knowing she wouldn't return. It had taken plenty of convincing to get him to forgive her for walking out on him last time, and she refused to do it to him again. After that, she headed to the stables and saddled Angel. Minutes later, she was riding away.
Cole strode anxiously to where Stephen and Sarah stood, visiting with his parents. "Where is Meagan?" He’d searched everywhere.
Anne turned to face him. "I saw her leave the church shortly after you arrived. Our buckboard's missing. I'm sure she took it."
"Damn." Cole was exhausted. He'd ridden through the night. He wasn't in the mood to chase Meagan down.
"Let her be," Stephen advised. "The sooner she leaves, the better for everyone."
Cole didn't miss the harsh edge of his brother's words. "You hate her, then?"
Stephen's gaze shifted uncomfortably from his parents to his wife's and finally back to Cole. He flung his arms wide, “no, I don’t hate her, but she hurt you Cole. “Don’t you hate her?”
All eyes turned to Cole. "No, Stephen,” his voice was choked, “I don't hate Meagan." He turned away. "I have to find her." He strode away.
"Cole, wait up."
Cole didn't slow, forcing Stephen to catch up to him. "Not now, Stephen."
"I have something to show you."
"Later."
Stephen grabbed him by the arm, twisting him to a halt. "Now, Cole. It can't wait."
"Meagan can't wait."
Stephen gulped in a deep breath, "Meagan wrote you. I never showed you the letter."
Cole's expression was a mask of stone. "When?"
"Shortly after she left."
Cole cursed. He’d waited all these months to hear from her and this whole time Stephen knew she’d written. He felt his hands clench at his sides, his nails digging painfully into his palms as he struggled to control his anger. He wanted to tear Stephen apart, limb by limb. If it wasn’t his wedding day… "Where is the letter?"
"In my dresser. Top left drawer."
Cole pivoted on his heels.
"Cole, I'm sorry,"
Cole's voice was hard, cold. "Save it for Meagan."
He mounted Lucifer and urged him to a full gallop. He reached the ranch in record time. He jumped from Lucifer's back, didn't bother to shut the door on his way in to the house and took the stairs two at a time. He found the letter exactly where Stephen had indicated it would be. He ripped it open.
Cole,
I'm not asking for your forgiveness, for I don't deserve it. You've given me the gift of love and I'll cherish the memory of you in my heart forever. If it must be, it will be enough. Please be happy.
Forever,
Meagan
Cole searched all their familiar places, but to no avail. Meagan was nowhere to be found. By the time he returned to the ranch, the celebration was in full force. Cole searched the crowd in hopes of spotting her. He saw Toby playing with Jeremy near the creek.
"Hey, Toby," Cole greeted as he approached the two. "Have you seen Meagan?"
Toby didn't look up. "Aha, she talked to me before."
"Do you know where she is?" Cole hoped he sounded less anxious than he was.
Toby frowned in concentration. "She said she had to go. That she was in the way here."
Cole's heart sunk. "When was that, Toby?"
"Right before all the people started coming."
Relief surged through him. She'd been gone less than an hour. "Did she say anything else?"
Toby finally looked up. "She said she'd miss me."
Cole smiled. "I know that's a fact."
A gloomy expression crossed his tiny features. "I'll miss her, too."
Jeremy looked up. "She said she was going home."
Cole turned abruptly toward the younger boy. "What?"
Toby placed a stubby finger to his lips. "Sshhh, Jeremy, that part was a secret."
Jeremy stuck his small nose high in the air. "You told me, didn't ya?"
Toby frowned. "Didn't know you'd go and tell anyone else."
Cole didn't have the time, nor the patience to listen to them argue. "Toby, Meagan told you she was going home?"
Reluctant eyes met his. "She said she wanted to say good-bye to her pa, even though he's dead, just like she come to say good-bye to me."
"Thanks Toby." Cole galloped away, leaving two boys staring after him in a cloud of dust.
It was nearing dusk, and Meagan knew she'd arrive home within the hour. Angel was restless, as if she, too, knew they were heading into familiar territory. It felt strange coming back here. She wanted to remember the times with her pa. She wanted to sit beside him, to say good-bye. After that, she'd leave. She'd go far away from the McAllister's, and anyone who'd heard of them. She wanted to raise her child in peace.
A shiver of apprehension coursed through Meagan. She had a strange feeling she was being watched. She couldn't shake it, and she urged Angel to a gallop. She glanced behind her several times, but saw nothing. Still, something didn't feel right.
Angel tossed her head from side to side, restless to be home. They crested a hill, and a soft gasp escaped from startled lips as Meagan pulled tightly on Angel's reins, bringing her to an abrupt halt. Sliding from her saddle, Meagan stood, staring below in awe.
"It's for you."
Meagan turned with a start, her body trembling the second she set eyes on Cole.
He didn't reach out to her, or try to touch her. "I built it for you."
Her hands trembled violently, and she clasped them together in an effort to still their shaking. "I don't understand." She turned away from him, not so much to see the glorious house that was nestled in a thicket of woods, tucked neatly between two hills, but to hide her reaction to his nearness.
"Meagan."
She folded her arms tightly against her chest, squeezing her eyes shut. She couldn't be here with him. Not now. She couldn't stand to hurt anymore. She began to rock back and forth.
"Meagan, please don't do that."
A tortured sob escaped through clenched teeth as Meagan turned into him. Raw pain tore through her middle, and she moaned at the agony of it. "Leave me be," she sobbed, even as sh
e clung to him for support. Tortured eyes turned his way, "why can't you leave me be?"
His grip tightened around her. "I wish I knew," he confessed brokenly, burying his face in the silky mass of her hair, his hands trembling as they smoothed the long tresses. "I've never known such torture as what I've know these months without you."
Meagan sobbed. "Don't do this to me. You know I can't be with you."
Cole stilled, his body stiffened against her. "Because you're marrying the banker." It was a statement.
Meagan blinked in disbelief. "I'm what?"
Cole released her and turned his back to her. "Bethany wrote and told me about it. In fact, I thought you were marrying him today."
"I'm not marrying anyone," Meagan denied firmly.
"Don't lie to me Meagan." Cole's voice was racked with torment. "I can't take any more lies."
His words sliced her like a sword. She reached out to him, but withdrew her hand, afraid he wouldn't welcome her touch. "Cole, the banker is a fifty year old man. He's fat, bald and I believe he already has a wife. I'm not lying. Not this time."
Cole turned to face her, hope etched on his face. "But Bethany said.."
Meagan smiled in spite of herself. "Cole, I don't care what Bethany said. I barely even know the banker. There's obviously been a misunderstanding between you."
Cole threw his arms up in disgust. "You're telling me I rode all the way to Jensen to stop you from marrying a man you're not marrying, then all the way back without a single wink of sleep, barely making my own brother's wedding, because of a misunderstanding?"
Meagan froze. "You left to find me?"
He nodded solemnly. "I had to stop you from making the worst mistake of your life." He tossed a disgusted look her way. "I can't believe the hell I’ve been through thinking you were marrying some other man, when all the time,"
"I'm not," Meagan confirmed with a grin.
“Damn,” Cole bent, hands on knees, thinking about the past twenty four hours. He tossed her a sideways glance, “thank God,” he muttered.
Meagan’s grin widened.
Cole straightened, “why did you leave, Meagan?”
Her grin vanished. Silence lengthened between them as Meagan considered her answer. “I thought it was the best thing to do, for you.”
He bristled, “what the hell made you think that?”
She took an unconscious step backwards. “I knew you couldn’t trust me again, not after all I’d done. I didn’t want you to feel obligated to stay with me just because we, you know, because of…”
“Because I made love to you,” Cole finished her sentence.
“I made so many mistakes,” Meagan continued as if he hadn’t spoken. “I trusted the wrong people,” she looked him dead in the eyes, “I almost killed you.”
“That was an accident.”
“What about my promise to tell you if Tony contacted me?” Meagan reminded him. His jaw clenched and Meagan cursed her stupidity at bringing her deceit to light again.
"I can't understand why you didn’t tell me.” Cole’s hands formed tight fists at his side. "You should have come to me, Meagan."
“I know,” Meagan conceded. "I acted rashly. I had to see him, to find out for myself why he did what he did."
"You didn't trust me to do the right thing," Cole accused her. He moved in close, so close she could hear him breathing. "What did I do to make you doubt me, Meagan?"
“Nothing,” she sobbed, “it wasn’t you I doubted. It was me. I was afraid to trust you, afraid to love you. I was afraid of losing you.”
Cole grabbed her and shook her so hard her teeth clattered together. "Hell, Meagan, do you think I wanted to fall in love with you? Do you think it was easy for me to trust again?" He realized what he was doing and dropped his hands back to his side. "You left before I could tell you how sorry I was, Meagan."
Meagan raised her eyes to meet his. "Sorry for what?"
"It was Anthony’s hate of me that started all of this.” His pain was almost tangible, “you lost your home, your Pa, even your brother, all because of me."
"Cole, I,"
"You stand there and tell me you left because of the wrongs you've done," his words lashed at her like a swinging whip, “but I've done far worse to you.”
Meagan shook her head. "You don't understand, "
"I understand Meagan,” he interrupted. “I understand that I've spent months building a house for you. I prayed every single night that you'd return to see it and spent every waking moment fearing you never would." He grabbed her chin, forcing her eyes to meet his. "I understand how the need for your forgiveness has haunted me day and night. Still, I never gave up on us, Meagan." His voice broke, "I never gave up on you."
He strode to her and in one single motion, scooped her into his arms and claimed her lips with fiery possession. Heat shot through the core of her and she returned his kiss with reckless abandon, responding without thought. He tore his lips away, his voice husky, possessive. "I won’t let you leave me again, Meagan." His eyes bore fiercely into hers as he claimed her as his own, taking her lips with demanding force. Meagan returned his kiss with equal fierceness. She needed him so much it hurt. Deep, guttural sobs escaped through their joined lips as they both took what they needed from the other. Cole eased her to the ground, exploring the curves of her breasts, running his hand along her belly, molding her hips to his. His touch was urgent, his need strong.
Each touch, each kiss sent Meagan reeling into a void where only passion existed. She didn't think, couldn't resist as he tore her clothes from her body in his haste to love her. Her hands did the same to him, reveling in the feel of his muscle flexing beneath her fingertips as he struggled to release his broad shoulders from the confines of his shirt. Crisp black hairs teased her nose as she placed tiny kisses over his stomach and chest.
His hands roamed wildly through her hair as he pulled her higher, kissing her. He dropped his hand to her hips, urging her astride him. "Love me, Meagan," he pleaded. He'd never given up on her, yet she'd deserted him. He needed to know she wanted to be his. Instinct drove her to him, and she lowered herself slowly onto him, her eyes claiming him as her own. She moved in a familiar rhythm, all the control hers as he held still beneath her. Their eyes never wavered from the others as she promised with each stroke, each smile, each glance, never to run away from him again.
She knew the instant he accepted it. His eyes cleared of doubt and filled with his need. He grabbed her waist, thrusting with her, bringing them both to the heights of passion. Meagan moaned as intense waves of pleasure took away all thought. She moved like an animal, satisfying needs long denied. She barely heard Cole's moan's of pleasure as she moved sensually over him, wringing out every possible ounce of her own pleasure.
She collapsed against him, unable to move. Their satisfied breaths mingled with the sounds of nature as they lay motionless, Cole still inside her. Time passed without account, and Meagan lifted her head, her eyes studying her lover's face. Every line smoothed into relaxation as he stared at her through slitted eyes. "I'll never let you out of my sight again."
A satisfied smile touched her lips. "That's a promise I intend to hold you to."
He didn't return her smile, but instead stared intently at her. "Never put me through such hell again."
Her eyes never flinched, never left his for even a second. "I never will."
He smiled then. "That's a promise I intend to hold you to."
Meagan began to itch. She turned first one way, then another in an effort to get comfortable. Cole rose and Meagan watched with pleasure as he strode to Lucifer and grabbed two blankets from his saddle bag. Her eyes never left him as he returned, and she was pleased to note his arousal as he realized where her eyes had strayed.
"Meagan, allow a man to rest."
Meagan grinned. "You've rested long enough."
Cole shook his head in exasperation then spread the blanket on the ground. "Lie on this blanket,” he advised, “you'll be
more comfortable."
Meagan complied, anxious for him to return to her. He gently placed the other blanket over her before sitting down beside her. A slight frown etched his otherwise content face. "You and I, Meagan," he touched her cheek tenderly, "we have a lot of life to make up for."
They were off to a good start, Meagan thought.
“Marry me, Meagan."
Startled eyes looked into serious ones. After all she’d put him through he still wanted to spend his life with her. How had she managed to get so lucky?
His gaze turned to one of concern when she didn’t answer.
“Is that a question or an order,” Meagan teased.
“Both.”
“Well, then, the answer to both is yes.” Meagan flung herself into his arms.
He gathered her close. “When?” he prompted.
She pulled back, “I don’t know. When do you want?
He grinned. "Let's not waste a single minute."
She smiled impishly as she slid back into his open arms. "I haven't,” she admitted. In fact," she drew in a deep breath, "I think I've managed to get a jump ahead. Three months ahead, to be exact."
“Three months?”
Meagan touched a hand to her stomach.
Cole's puzzled glaze cleared. “A baby?”
She nodded.
"You're going to have a baby?"
She gave a delighted laugh, "we're going to have a baby," she clarified
"Hot damn,” Cole stood with little concern about his nakedness. "I'm going to be a father." His eyes shone. "It will be a boy. He'll help me around the ranch. I'll teach him everything I know." He paused, "of course, it could be a girl, one that looks exactly like her mama. I'd have a heck of a time keeping the boys away."
"Cole," Meagan grinned as she watched him.
"I can't wait to tell ma, why she'll,"
"Cole."
He looked at her then, but his attention was still far away.
Meagan slipped the blanket from her body. "Come here," she invited brazenly.
His dazed expression cleared as his eyes devoured her. He joined her beneath the blanket, crushing her to him.
Deanna Tompkins Page 29