The Peppercorn Project

by Nicki Edwards

  ‘Tea would be perfect.’

  Isabelle plonked down at the table and watched Leah bustle around the kitchen like it was her own. Leah found the container she was looking for in the pantry and pulled out homemade Anzac biscuits, which she placed on a plate.

  ‘You’ve lost more weight. Have you been eating?’

  She sank lower in the chair. ‘Yes, I’ve been eating. Thanks to you and the awesome women from the CWA, I haven’t cooked a meal myself yet.’ She wasn’t going to admit most days she barely picked at the food in front of her.

  ‘Have you rearranged everything we unpacked?’

  ‘No, you all did an amazing job. Everything is exactly where I would have put it myself. It’s just I, um – I started to go through Dan’s things,’ Isabelle admitted. ‘His clothes.’

  Leah sat beside Isabelle and pushed a mug across the table towards her. Isabelle grasped it with both hands, allowing the warmth to seep into her cold fingers.

  ‘How was that?’ Leah asked.

  ‘It wasn’t as bad as I was expecting. I can’t explain it, but Dan’s things don’t fit here in this house. When they were hanging in the wardrobe in Torquay I saw them every time I opened the cupboard, and for a brief second I smelled him and could pretend he was coming back.’ Isabelle took a sip of her tea. ‘Most of them are still boxed up from the move, so I think I’ll leave them and drop them off to an op shop. I started to sort through them but …’ Her voice trailed off. ‘Fletch already snaffled Dan’s hoodies and things after he died.’ She paused again and took a shaky breath. ‘I guess it makes it all seem so final, you know? Moving out of the house was hard enough on my own. Now I’m starting again without him. It hurts and I hate it.’

  ‘You loved him,’ Leah said. It was as much a question as a statement. She blew on her tea, looking at Isabelle over the rim of her mug.

  Isabelle nodded and closed her eyes. ‘More than life.’

  ‘I can’t begin to imagine what it feels like.’

  ‘One of the women in my support group said it feels like you’re only made up of skin.’

  Leah frowned. ‘What did she mean?’

  ‘You feel empty and hollow inside. Like your body is made up of nothing except skin and bones. There’s nothing warm left inside you.’

  Leah took another biscuit from the plate between them. She dunked her biscuit in her cup of tea, not taking her eyes off Isabelle’s face.

  ‘For me it feels like I’m always wearing a mask, you know? I’ve become the master of disguise. The smile you see is one tiny moment away from becoming a silent scream.’

  ‘Oh, Isabelle.’

  She sighed heavily. ‘I’m a member of a club I never wanted to belong to.’

  There was silence except for the rhythmic ticking of the clock on the wall.

  ‘Forgive me if I’m out of line, but can you ever see yourself loving anyone else, or is it still too soon?’

  Isabelle tossed the question around while she took another unsteady sip of her tea. She’d hated the way her mother had asked the same question only weeks after Dan’s death. Isabelle appreciated Leah’s candour. She was straightforward, but not in a way Isabelle found offensive.

  ‘Dan once said if he died I should remarry, but I’m not sure. I think each person only has one soul mate and my soul mate is Dan. Was Dan,’ Isabelle quickly corrected herself. ‘I loved him with all my heart, and while I can’t see myself ever falling in love again, I also don’t want to end up single, bitter and lonely.’ Isabelle hugged herself as a chill went down her spine.

  ‘If the right person came along, do you think you’d be open to it?’

  Isabelle stared out the back window. It was dark outside and all she could see was the reflection of them sitting at the table. ‘I suppose so, yes. But I’m not looking, that’s for sure, and whoever I meet will have to adore Fletch and Mietta. And vice versa.’

  The conversation had gone deeper than Isabelle had anticipated, but it was time to change the subject. Back to the reason Leah was sitting in her kitchen on a Sunday night.

  ‘Why have you come over to see if I’m still here?’ Isabelle asked. ‘Who thinks I’ve “done a runner”, as you put it?’

  Leah tipped her head back and laughed. The sound filled the small kitchen, warming it. ‘No one. I was pulling your leg. We thought we’d have seen you at the pub by now, that’s all.’

  ‘Who?’

  ‘Everyone! Most nights the regulars head down to the pub for at least one drink or a bite to eat. All the other newbies have made it there for a meal at least once since they arrived in town. You haven’t, and it’s been noted. You haven’t even met the other Peppercorn families.’

  ‘But I can’t go to the pub at night, I’ve got the kids.’

  ‘Rubbish. You can bring them along. They can sit in the dining room. You’ve seen what it’s like. It’s family friendly.’

  ‘Not at night,’ Isabelle retorted. She caught the look of surprise on Leah’s face and changed her tone. ‘I like them to be in bed at their usual bedtimes. I don’t like to muck around with their routines.’

  Leah’s eyebrows rose in surprise. ‘I’d say picking them up and moving interstate has mucked them around without trying to be a stickler for routines.’ She stared at Isabelle. ‘Not that I’d know anything about kids, but I reckon yours are resilient, and keeping them locked inside isn’t the best of ideas.’

  Isabelle crossed her arms. ‘They’re not locked inside. I’m letting them get their bearings, that’s all.’

  ‘What? Inside? Has Fletcher been outside since you arrived?’

  ‘Of course he has. But I’ve been so tired and haven’t felt up to getting out and about to explore the town yet. And I told you, I had Dan’s things to go through.’

  ‘That shouldn’t have stopped you from letting Fletcher get out and see the sights,’ Leah argued.

  ‘He’s too young to be allowed to wander around the streets alone without supervision.’

  Leah laughed aloud again. ‘Issie, listen to yourself. When you were his age you probably rode around on your bike all day and only came back home when you got hungry. And in Stony Creek, wandering the streets, as you put it, means he’ll wander down to the creek, the tennis court or the playground. He can’t possibly get into any trouble.’

  ‘Well, times have changed,’ Isabelle said, crossing her arms and glaring at Leah.

  ‘Not in Stony Creek they haven’t.’ Leah chuckled. ‘Fletcher and Mietta will be perfectly safe. Let them out of the house, Isabelle. Let them walk around the town and get a feel for it. I can promise you they won’t get lost.’

  Isabelle sighed. ‘I’ll see.’

  ‘What are you doing tomorrow? How about we take the kids into school and get them settled, and you and I go and grab a coffee?’

  ‘Oh, I’m not going to start them this year – there’s not much left of the school term.’

  Leah frowned. ‘All the other new kids are starting tomorrow. Didn’t you get the letter from the school?’

  ‘I was going to wait until next year.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘Because it makes sense to start them at the beginning of a school year. They’ve already missed so much school this year and it’s been messy. I think it’s better to start afresh in the new year.’

  ‘You like to be in control, don’t you?’ Leah said. Without waiting for an answer, she leaned across the table and placed her hand on Isabelle’s arm. ‘The school’s tiny, Issie, and the teachers have been expecting all these new kids to start since you all arrived in town. It’s only November. There’s still six weeks left of term before the summer holidays. Send the kids tomorrow and get them out of your hair, or by January you’ll be stark raving mad.’

  ‘But I haven’t got uniforms or books or anything,’ Isabelle said. ‘I was going to do that over the Christmas holidays.’ She didn’t want to admit that until the sale of the house went through, she had no money other than the gift her friends had given.<
br />
  ‘You haven’t read the letter, have you? Rachel has organised casual dress days for the whole week in case you haven’t sorted uniforms. They’re going to play games and do things to welcome the new students for the rest of the week. If your kids don’t go now, they’re going to feel out of place when they do show up to school next year.’

  ‘I suppose so,’ Isabelle agreed with a sigh. She lowered her voice. ‘I don’t know how they’ll go. They’ve had the same friends since pre-school. It’s going to be a big adjustment. Especially for Fletcher.’

  ‘Who’s worried? You or the kids? I’ll bet if you ask them, they’ll be super excited. It’s you who’s nervous.’

  Isabelle slumped back in her chair. ‘You’re right.’

  ‘I know!’ Leah said with a chuckle. She gave Isabelle a stern look. ‘Call the kids.’

  Isabelle groaned. ‘I’m not going to get out of this, am I?’

  Leah shook her head.

  ‘Fletch! Mietta! Come here, please.’

  A second after the television was muted, Fletcher called out. ‘What?’

  ‘Can you guys come here, please?’

  There was a groan from Fletcher and a shuffling sound. Mietta appeared first, bouncing into the kitchen. Fletcher straggled in after her.

  When he caught sight of Leah, his eyes lit up. ‘I didn’t hear you come in.’

  ‘I popped over to let your mum know you guys start school tomorrow.’

  ‘For real?’ Fletcher’s face broke into a wide grin. ‘Can we, Mum? Please?’

  Mietta was not as enthused, but a small smile played at the corners of her lips. Perhaps she was waiting for Isabelle’s reaction.

  ‘If you want to,’ Isabelle hedged. ‘Apparently all the other Peppercorn kids are starting tomorrow too. I think it’s a good idea.’

  ‘Awesome. Much more fun than sitting around here doing nothing.’

  Leah looked at Isabelle. ‘I think that’s the best response you could ask for.’

  She nodded. ‘Give it a week and he’ll be wishing he was back home on holidays.’

  Chapter 15

  Early the next morning Isabelle waited uncertainly in the small quadrangle of the Stony Creek Primary School. Fletcher stood off to one side, too old to want to be seen standing in the schoolyard with his mother, but Mietta clung to Isabelle’s right hand. All around them, children chased each other, their high-pitched voices expressing their excitement at the arrival of new students.

  ‘Isabelle!’ Rachel appeared, and Isabelle relaxed slightly, glad to see a familiar face. ‘You look scared stiff! The kids will be fine, I promise.’

  Rachel squatted down to Mietta’s height. ‘Hi, Mietta, I’m Mrs King. Do you remember me? We met at the interview.’

  Mietta nodded.

  ‘Would you like to meet your teacher?’

  She nodded again.

  Rachel held out her hand and Mietta took it hesitantly.

  Isabelle nudged her forward. ‘Go on, honey, you’ll be fine.’

  With a nervous glance over her shoulder, Mietta followed Rachel. Together they approached the African couple. Their own daughter stood quietly at their side too, silent tears streaming down her dark cheeks. Their little boy wriggled in his father’s arms, desperate to run with the big kids. Rachel and Mietta stopped in front of them. Rachel repeated the conversation with the other little girl. The tears stopped, but the look of terror in her eyes broke Isabelle’s heart.

  Over the top of the din, Mietta’s sweet voice carried. ‘Hi. My name is Mietta. What’s yours?’

  The little girl gave a half-smile. ‘Zoey.’

  ‘What grade are you in?’ Mietta asked.

  The girl looked back at her mother with a questioning look.

  ‘You’re in grade one, Zoey.’

  ‘Same as me,’ Mietta said, giving a little hop on the spot and clapping her hands excitedly. ‘We can be best friends.’

  Rachel glanced across at Isabelle and gave her a big grin and thumbs-up signal before taking each of the girls by the hand and leading them across to meet their teacher. Isabelle looked at Zoey’s parents and they smiled shyly at her. She returned the smile and headed towards them.

  ‘Hi,’ she said. ‘I’m Isabelle. We’re one of the other Peppercorn Project families. I’m sorry I don’t remember your names.’

  ‘My name is Kuda,’ the man said, with a heavy accent. He bowed his head slightly.

  ‘And I’m Rumbi,’ the woman greeted Isabelle with a small smile.

  ‘Where are you from?’ Isabelle asked.

  ‘We are from Melbourne,’ Kuda replied.

  Isabelle blushed with embarrassment. ‘Oh, I’m sorry. I assumed you were refugees.’

  Rumbi smiled again, her brightly coloured lips parting to reveal straight white teeth. ‘We have lived in Australia for one year now. Originally we are from Zimbabwe, but no, we are not refugees.’ She too had an accent, but was easy enough to understand.

  Isabelle turned to the man who had set the little boy down on the ground, with a warning to stay close. ‘What do you do, Kuda?’

  ‘I’m an IT consultant,’ he replied. ‘And you?’

  Isabelle hesitated before replying. ‘I’m a nurse, but I’m not working at the moment. I’m a stay-at-home mum.’

  ‘Then yes, you are working.’ His smile was broad. ‘That is what I have to remind my wife. She is an engineer, but her time is now to look after Koby until he starts school.’ He indicated the little boy running circles around them.

  Isabelle looked at the other woman. ‘We should have coffee together some time,’ she suggested.

  ‘I would like that. Thank you,’ Rumbi replied politely.

  A bell clanged loudly, only serving to escalate the noise of the children further. Fletcher had disappeared. She scanned the faces of the children and found him standing between two boys who looked to be around his age. He was chatting animatedly and Isabelle breathed a sigh of relief. Perhaps Leah was right to suggest she start them now instead of waiting for the new school year. The bell sounded again and the three teachers moved among the fifty or so children, shushing them and sorting them into straight rows. Gradually the children were silent, except for the occasional whisper or giggle, and the shuffle of feet on concrete.

  Rachel waited until everyone was quiet before speaking.

  ‘I would like to respectfully acknowledge the Nukunu people of whose ancestral land we meet on today. I also pay my respects to their Elders past and present and extend that respect to other Aboriginal people who are present today. I also acknowledge the contributions of Aboriginal Australians and non-Aboriginal Australians to the education of all children and people in this country we all live in and share together.’

  The haunting sound of a didgeridoo came across the scratchy public address system as the National Anthem began. So far, the school day had commenced exactly as it would have if they were at their old school in Torquay. The last strains of the song indicated it was time to move. The lines of children began their slow snake into the building and their classrooms. Isabelle glanced at the small crowd, made up of a handful of mothers, a couple of fathers and some grandparents. She spotted one of the other new mothers – the one with a half dozen kids – and gave her a tentative smile.

  Rumbi and Kuda rounded up their son and Isabelle watched them head back up the street, the little boy holding their hands and swinging between them. Isabelle smiled at one of the other mothers, who smiled politely in return, but didn’t approach. She felt lonely. If she’d been in Torquay, Skye or Sarah would have suggested they go for a walk or head to the cafe. Over multiple lattes, they would have solved all the problems of the world.

  Isabelle wandered home with a heavy heart. What was she going to do between now and three thirty? Outside her house a car was parked. Leah sat waiting for her on the wicker couch on the front porch. ‘How did they go?’ she called out as Isabelle got closer.

  ‘Better than I expected.’ She sat opposite Leah. ‘I�
��m surprised how easy it was. Mietta was nervous to begin with, but Rachel introduced her to the little African girl – her name is Zoey – and Mietta decided she’d made her new best friend.’

  Leah chuckled. ‘I knew she’d be fine. How was Fletch?’

  ‘He was good too. I didn’t get to say goodbye, but he was chatting with some other kids. Time will tell, I suppose.’

  ‘What have you got planned for the rest of the day?’

  Isabelle slumped down in her chair and put her feet up on the coffee table. ‘To be honest, I have no idea. I’m not used to having time on my hands.’

  Leah frowned. ‘What would you have done if you were back in Torquay?’

  ‘After school drop-off I’d hang out with my friends for the morning. Sometimes we’d go for a walk. Most mornings we sat and drank coffee.’ As soon as the words left her mouth Isabelle realised how indulgent her life sounded. No wonder people asked why she didn’t work.

  ‘How about we go and grab a coffee? It’ll be good for you to get out of the house.’

  ‘All right,’ Isabelle agreed. ‘That sounds like a plan.’

  Less than five minutes later, they sat in The Green Room cafe in the main street. Isabelle loved the quirky interior of the old shop, decorated with posters from musical theatre productions. Someone had gone to a lot of effort, and she was impressed. Isabelle wasn’t much of a coffee snob, usually preferring tea or hot chocolate, but the size of the coffee machine suggested the coffee would taste okay. The cafe was busy, and Isabelle recognized a few faces from the schoolyard. When they saw Isabelle sitting with Leah, they smiled in acknowledgement.

  ‘Shelby runs the cafe,’ Leah said. ‘We went to school together. She was super-smart at school and we all thought she’d go into law or medicine. She ended up travelling around Europe, did a pastry chef course in Paris, brought her Italian husband home, and now they have three kids.’ Leah licked her lips and rubbed her stomach. ‘Plus her cakes are to die for.’

  The strains of one of the songs from Les Miserables played in the background. Shelby obviously took the musical theatre theme seriously.

  ‘She’s done a great job with the cafe,’ Isabelle said, looking around. ‘I wouldn’t have expected something this modern in the middle of nowhere, to be honest.’