Shattered Dreams

by Brenda Kennedy

  “It’s beautiful and I think the baby will love it.” I lean over to kiss the top of Raelynn’s head. Her hair is so soft and smells fruity. Molly always used Herbal Essence Shampoo on her and Raelynn’s hair.

  I explain to Emma that my sister and her husband didn’t want to know the gender of the baby, so it will be a surprise to all of us.

  Ian opens the door and announces that Cameron is close to delivering. He looks pale and his normally immaculate hair is messy. My mom doesn’t want to go back into the delivery room while Cameron gives birth. I think being the wife of a surgeon she knows all too well the possibility of something going wrong. Of course, usually nothing goes wrong.

  Victoria and Jill stand up excitedly. “Can we still be in the delivery room?” Jill asks.

  “That’s why I’m here. Cameron said to take tons and tons of pictures.”

  Victoria waves her very large and very expensive camera and smiles. “I have it under control.”

  Mom walks over to Ian and cups his face in her small hands. “Ian, you have not started to live until you become a parent. Everything that was important to you before fatherhood will now take a backseat to your child. If you have a girl, you will find yourself buying My Little Pony toys instead of the latest version of Grand Theft Auto.” My mother wipes a tear from her cheek. “I want you to know that I couldn’t have chosen a better husband for my daughter or a better father for my grandchild.” Mom stands on her tiptoes and kisses Ian on both of his cheeks.

  “Thank you, I hope you are right. I hope I can be the man you expect from me.”

  “Ian, you already are. Now go and welcome the newest member of our perfect family.”

  I watch as Ian, Victoria, and Jill walk out of the room. Dad hugs mom and comforts her as she cries softly into his chest.

  “Daddy?” Raelynn asks, as she tugs on my shirt.

  I look down at her big blue eyes. “Yes, Rae?”

  “What’s today?”

  “It’s December 26th.”

  “The baby’s birthday is December 26th?”

  “Yes, Rae, I guess it is.”

  I watch as Rae writes the date on the card she made for the baby.

  “It won’t be long now,” I announce.

  “Ok, I hope it’s soon. I want to see if it’s a boy or a girl.”

  “Me, too, Rae.”

  Mom and dad come sit with us and Raelynn shows them the card she made for the baby. My mother sits Raelynn on her lap and hugs her. “Raelynn, the baby will love this card.”

  “Thank you, grandma.”

  My mother and father both talk openly to James and Emma like they have known them their entire lives. James shows them the picture of a ninja he drew and I smile. My mother ruffles his blond hair and smile adoringly at him. They include Emma in the conversion about my sister and Ian not knowing the gender of the baby. Mom also explains this will be her 5th grandchild and how her children are making her old.

  My sisters-in-law open the door and stand there with the biggest smile on their faces. We all stand and Jill announces, “It is a beautiful little girl, 7lbs, 8oz, and she is 20 inches long. She is completely healthy, especially her lungs, judging by the noise she makes.” The room erupts with squeals and cries. Raelynn claps her hands and jumps up and down.

  “Oh, praise Jesus,” my mother says, and my dad hugs her.

  Victoria walks around the room, carrying the camera and showing off the pictures of the baby. Mom and dad go back and see the baby first. Emma says that she and James will wait here for me while Raelynn and me see my sister and the baby girl. She thinks another time will be better for her to meet them. I didn’t think about that, but I have to agree with her. My sister, Cameron, would not be happy meeting someone for the first time, just minutes after giving birth.

  Rae and I wash our hands first and then we walk over and kiss and hug my sister before we see the baby. I look at Ian, who is smiling and holding the baby. “Have you decided on a name yet?” I ask.

  “We did; we decided on Savannah Lynn, after Raelynn,” my sister says, looking at Rae.

  Raelynn smiles and walks over to my sister. “Aunt Cameron, you are going to name her after me?”

  “We are. Since your Uncle Ian and I love you so much we want our baby to have your name.”

  “Just like mommy and daddy named me after them?”

  “Yes, Raelynn, just like that.”

  “May I see her?”

  “Here, Raelynn, sit over here,” Ian says, standing up from the chair. “Just remember to support her head.” He demonstrates how to properly hold the baby.

  I walk over and watch as he gently places the baby on her lap. Rae smiles and I get my phone out to snap some pictures. The baby has a headful of black hair. Rae gently touches her small hands. “Look, daddy.” I look down — the baby is so tiny. “She is smaller than my baby doll.”

  “She sure is. May I see her now?” I gently take the baby from Rae’s lap and hold her up to me. I walk over to my sister and smile. “She is beautiful, sis.”

  “Thank you.”

  “How are you feeling?”

  “I’m tired, but I’m a mom. I feel wonderful. I was always meant to be a mom.”

  “Yes, you were. I remember all those baby dolls you had, and you and mom would have to change their clothes twice a day, every day. Once in the morning for the day and again at night for bed.”

  “Poor mom. She sure did have her hands full.” We both laugh at the memory.

  I kiss the baby and hand her to Cameron. “We need to get going.” I shake Ian’s hand to congratulate him before Raelynn and I leave to get Emma and James and go shopping.

  We go into one store and we soon realize that day-after-Christmas shopping isn’t for us. We leave the store empty handed and decide a day at the park is a better idea. The more time I spend with Emma the more I like her. She tells me she just bought her first house this year and that she has lived with her parents since her husband’s death four years ago.

  I tell her that she is the only woman who has been around Raelynn other than Molly and that I enjoy her company. We spent the day at the park and then we walk on the beach afterwards.

  I have to work the next two days so I call Emma and confirm that I will be picking her up for the wedding. For the first time in a long time, I am excited about going out. I take Raelynn to my mom and dad’s for the night. I don’t need to pack her an overnight bag because my mom has a dresser full of clothes for Raelynn and her other grandchildren. She also has items such as toothbrushes for her grandkids. I walk into the house, and my mom and dad stare at me. “What?”

  “Nothing, it’s just you look so handsome.” I readjust my gold tie and pull down on the sleeves of my white dress shirt. I decided on a midnight black suit to wear to the wedding.

  “Daddy has a date,” Rae giggles as she runs through the house to the playroom.

  “It’s not a date, Raelynn,” I yell, so she can hear me.

  “Alec, you have a date?” my mother asks, walking over to me.

  “I’m taking Emma to Angel and Mason’s wedding. Her son is in the wedding. It’s not really a date, is it?”

  “It sounds like a date,” my father says.

  “How old is her son?” My mother asks. “He looks to be about four.”

  “Yes, he’s four. They are both taking the beginners taekwondo class. Look, I hate to be rude, but I need to get going.” My mother leaves the room and my dad walks me to the door. He asks, “Do you have flowers for her and a gift for her son?”

  “No, do I need them?”

  “Only if it’s a date. Alec, you never show up empty handed and if she has children, you get them something, too.” Dad always treats mom right. I think he learned some things from watching Cary Grant and Fred Astaire romantic comedies with mom. Mom once said that watching those movies automatically turn men into better boyfriends and husbands. Watching Rock Hudson romantic comedies, not so much.

  My mother shows up at the d
oor with a gift bag in hand. “Here, take this.”

  “Mom?”

  “It was on sale and I picked it up after Christmas. You can’t show up there empty handed.”

  “I know, dad just told me. Where do I get flowers on New Year’s Eve?”

  “Marjorie’s Florist is open late tonight. I spoke with her earlier today. I’ll call and tell her you are on your way. Now hurry and have fun.”

  My mother walks away with her cell phone in hand. I lift the gift bag and smile at my dad. “She has it all covered, doesn’t she?”

  “She always does. Have fun and call us if you need anything. I love you, son.”

  “I love you, too, and thank mom for me,” I say, raising the gift bag again.

  I stop by the florist on my way to Emma’s and pick up some flowers. Marjorie knows me by name and already has a huge bouquet of flowers waiting for me. I arrive at Emma’s house, and I suddenly become nervous. My palms become sweaty, and my pulse picks up. I have never been nervous around Emma. I gather the present mom gave me for James and the bouquet of flowers mom ordered for Emma. I look up at the porch and the lights are on and the front door is closed. Taking a deep breath, I get out of the car and walk up the few stairs to her front door.

  The door opens before I can knock and James is standing there in his three-piece suit looking very distinguished. “Hi, James.”

  “Hi, Alec.”

  He opens the door and I peek in. “Where is your mother?” I ask before walking into the house.

  “She’s getting dressed.”

  Emma walks out of the back room wearing a red dress and carrying a pair of black heels. “James, get your shoes on, please. Alec will be here at any minute.”

  I smile when I realize she doesn’t know I am here.

  “Yes, momma.”

  She looks at the door and smiles when she sees me.

  “Hi, please come in. I didn’t know you were out here.”

  “Thank you.” I walk into the house and stare at her. Her long curly blond hair against the red dress is beautiful. The dress is red silk, above the knee with a sweetheart neckline and long sleeves. “You look beautiful.” I watch her and I can see the blush on her pale cheeks.

  “Thank you. I was just going to say the same thing about you. You look great in a suit.”

  “Thank you. Here, these are for you,” I say, handing her the huge bouquet of flowers. My mother is a generous giver of flowers, even when I am not the one paying for them.

  Emma smiles and takes the flowers from me. “Thank you, these are beautiful. Please come in, I’ll get these in water. Do you want something to drink while you wait? I’m running a little behind.”

  “No, thank you. I’m fine. This is for James. I’m not sure whether you want him to have it now or later.”

  She stops and looks at the gift bag I am holding. “You got my son a gift?”

  “I can’t take the credit. It was my mother’s idea. When I dropped Rae off at her house, Rae told her I had a date and mom insisted I bring something. Emma, I sound like a complete idiot, and I want to apologize now. I haven’t been out on a date with someone in a very long time, and all this feels very foreign to me. If I say or do something stupid, please understand, it’s not my normal behavior.”

  She smiles and lets out a breath. “Good. Me, too. I am a nervous wreck. If I do or say something stupid, it’s not my normal behavior either.”

  I smile, because I can’t imagine she could ever say or do anything stupid. “I guess we’ll figure it out together.”

  She smiles at me. “That sounds like a plan.”

  James comes out of his bedroom carrying one shoe.

  “Emma, you put those in water, and I’ll help James with his shoe.”

  We pull up at Mason’s parents’ house on Long Boat Key. James has been in the back seat playing with the car my mother got for him. We wait in line in our car for the valet. Emma looks around at the mansion-sized home. “This is very impressive.”

  “Emma, don’t let the house fool you. Mason’s parents are very nice and down-to-earth people.”

  “I believe you. I just didn’t realize how much money Mason came from.”

  “You’ve met him, he is just like you and me.”

  She nods and I watch her as she is picking at the nail polish on her nails. This must be a nervous habit for her. We pull the car up and the valet opens the doors. I leave the keys in the car, take the valet ticket, and place it in the inside pocket of my jacket. I stand tall, button my jacket, and square my shoulders. I walk over to Emma, and she is already out of the car. I smile at how stunning she looks. I watch as she straightens James’ jacket and then her dress.

  A woman asks, “Are you with the wedding party?”

  “Yes,” Emma answers.

  “Please follow me.”

  “Are you ready?” I ask, offering her my elbow.

  “We are.” She smiles and loops her arm around mine as she holds James’ hand with her free hand.

  We follow the wedding coordinator up the stairs of the house and into the large foyer.

  “The bride on the right and the groom on the left,” the woman states.

  Emma lets go of my arm and I suddenly miss it. It felt so right that she was holding onto me. I smile and say, “Get James situated, and I’ll be back to get you.”

  “All right,” she says, picking at her nails again.

  “Emma, I’ll just be a minute and I’ll knock on the door when I’m done.”

  “Please follow me, ma’am,” the wedding coordinator says.

  I watch as she and James follows the woman into the last room on the right. Emma looks back and smiles at me before entering the room where Angel is. The door opens, and I hear squealing and laughter. That is definitely the right room.

  I walk to the left and knock on the only door that’s closed. Vincent opens the door a little and then he opens it further when he sees it’s me. I look around the room and see Mason standing at the full-length mirror adjusting his tie.

  I nod to Donovan and again to Vincent before I walk over to Mason. He smiles when he sees me.

  “I’m glad you could make it,” he says, shaking my hand.

  “I wouldn’t miss it. I just wanted to check on you before the wedding started.”

  “Thanks, I appreciate it. I’m fine. I just want to make Angel mine and start our life together.”

  “You’re a lucky man, Mason; she is a wonderful girl.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Ten more minutes.” A voice yells from the doorway.

  “I need to go and get my seat. Congratulations.” I smile, shake Mason’s hand again, and leave to get Emma.

  I walk down the hall and knock on the door I watched Emma go into. She smiles when she sees me. “Ready to get our seats?”

  “I feel funny about leaving James in there.”

  “He’s with friends, and he loves Angel. I’m sure he’s fine.”

  “Ok, you’re right. I’m ready.” Emma loops her arm in mine and it feels right having her by my side. I look down at her and smile. Although she is wearing heels, she is still quite a bit shorter than me.

  We walk through the house, and the usher greets us outside. We show them our wedding invitations and are led towards the front of the seats. The wedding is outside in the backyard nearest the water. The reflection of the moon and the clear lights and candles have turned the backyard into an oasis.

  Emma looks around the space at the guests and smiles. “The wedding is a lot smaller than I was expecting.”

  I also look around; most of the people were at their Christmas Eve party last week. There are a few extra people who must be family. “Me, too; this is a good size for me.” I smile.

  “Me, too, it’s very small and intimate. It’s the perfect size for a wedding.”

  Mason, Donovan, and Vincent come out and stand under the beautifully lit arch. I look at Mason, who looks so calm. I know he has waited a long time for someone like Angel.
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  The music begins and we watch as the flower girl comes out first. She stops and dumps all the flower petals at the doorway entrance, before walking up to stand near Mason. Everyone laughs. James walks out next, and I can hear Emma begin to cry. He walks slowly, and he carefully holds the pillow with the rings. He also stands beside Mason. Brea and Sara walk down the aisle and then comes the event’s star: Angel. We all stand and watch as she enters the white carpet. I hear people gasp when she comes into view. She is always a beautiful girl, but she looks like a Heavenly Angel tonight.

  She walks slowly and carefully down the aisle and Mason steps off the platform to claim his bride. I smile and Emma laughs quietly. “Is he in a hurry?” she asks.

  “Just a little.”

  After the wedding and after Mason and Angel leave to begin their honeymoon, Emma and I stay behind with the other guests. We slow dance and we also fast dance with James. I watch as Emma and James slow dance and it brings a smile to my face. Brea and Sara walk up and stand beside me. “You know, she is one of the sweetest girls I have ever met,” Brea says.

  I look over at her and smile. “I can see that. She does seem like a very nice girl.”

  “I think you should ask her out,” Sara adds.

  “You do?”

  “I do, she hasn’t dated since her husband’s death and you’re the new most eligible bachelor now that Mason’s married. I think you both have a lot in common and will be perfect together.”

  The music stops and Emma and James walks over to me.

  “Are you thirsty?” I ask.

  “I am,” James says.

  “I’ll get you both some punch. James, do you want to come with me?”

  “Yes, sir.”

  Emma

  “What are you two up to?” I ask, looking at Brea and then at Sara.

  “Who, us?”

  “Yes, you and you,” I say.

  “He’s just a really nice guy, that’s all.”

  “Yes, I would have to agree with that.” I watch as Alec helps my son with his punch.