Letting Go (A Mitchell Family Series)

by Unknown

  “Yeah, it does. I feel real bad about it too. I mean, it had to be a real kick in the balls for him. When it happened to me, well at first I wanted to kill my friend, but then I realized it wasn’t just him in that bed. For the longest time I felt like I wasn’t good enough, like I wasn’t doin’ somethin’ right. I ended up havin’ a girlfriend and treatin’ her real bad, because I didn’t want to get hurt again. You need to understand that you are worth fightin’ for Savanna. I’m not gonna sugar coat things. When we first started messin’ around, sure I wanted to take care of you, but we were just friends. I promised myself that I wouldn’t ever have feelin’s for you. But, somewhere down the road, I got to know all of the little things about you. Your favorite foods. Your favorite color. The way my touch tickles you. The way you blush when I take off my shirt. How your hair looks when you first wake up.”

  I stroked my hand through her hair and she giggled. “How you are the most carin’ person I have ever met. Most of all, how you made me want to love again.” I squeezed her tightly with my arms. “I fell in love with you Savanna. With all of your quirks and habits and everything else you had to offer. I just wanted you.”

  “You always say the right things.” Savanna said as she giggled and looked up at me.

  I got ready to say somethin’ else and I heard the door openin’. Now since I knew I had locked it when we got back, it could only be one of three people. Without moving an inch from the spot I was in, I watched Ty walk into the bedroom.

  “You have a lot of nerve cuz.” He said standing over the bed.

  I gently pushed Savanna to her side of the bed and stood up. Although, I think being in just boxers wasn’t how my cousin wanted to approach me. He stopped and gave me a once over before headin’ in my direction. “You need to check yourself Ty.”

  He came at me and threw the first swing while leaning on a crutch to keep his balance. I took the hit in my shoulder, but only to be able to grab him and throw him down on the bed. Savanna stood up and started yelling.

  “Stop it! Ty you can’t fight him. You aren’t strong enough. Just please stop!”

  We ignored the little lady. I grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and pulled him up to my face. “She aint yours.”

  Ty tried to shove my hand away. “Wrong! She will always be mine.”

  I knew this was going to happen. My cousin got all calm and lovin’ when he drank, but when he was sober he was a hellfire. “We went over this already last night. Don’t you remember? It was right before you got picked up by the little blonde.” I added.

  Ty smacked my hand away and I backed away. “She picked me up because I caught my fiancée red handed banging my cousin in my own father’s truck. What the fuck? This shit isn’t happening.” Ty said as he started rocking back and forth on the bed, holding his hands over his head.

  Savanna didn’t shock me at all when she climbed up behind him and hugged him. Her eyes were fixed on mine the entire time.

  “Ty, you can’t keep doing this to me. It isn’t fair to either of us.”

  I clenched my fists, knowing that with having Savanna’s arms wrapped around him, Ty felt like he somehow had the upper hand in all of this. He forgot he used to tell me all about his schemes, I guess to somehow try to impress me. He wanted Savanna to feel sorry for him, so that she would think about giving him another chance.

  “Don’t Ty. It isn’t going to work. She already made her choice.” I announced.

  Savanna smiled at me. “Colt. Give us a minute please?”

  Reluctantly, I made my way out of the room. I stood outside the door listening. There was no way in Hell I was going to let him take advantage of her kindness.

  “Ty, do you remember everything we talked about last night?” Savanna asked.

  “I remember everything actually. Especially the visual parts.”

  I rolled my eyes. Of course he would rub that in.

  “I am sorry that you had to see that.”

  “What part?” He asked.

  “All of it.” She confessed.

  I wanted to be in the room. I wanted to answer, instead of Savanna. This had to be horrible.

  “Can I ask you something?”

  “Anything.” Savanna replied.

  “How did you know you loved him? When did you know it was real?”

  I couldn’t see Savanna’s face or watch her body language as she answered. I just listened. “I suppose at first it was lust. I just wanted attention. I felt so alone for all those months. I yearned for affection. There just came this point where, when I wasn’t with him, he was all I thought about. I tried to picture my life without him and it hurt deep down inside of me. He was always doing things and saying the right things, even when he wasn’t trying to impress me at all. He wanted to know me, in every way.”

  “You can keep going. I need to hear it all. Even the parts I don’t want to hear.” Ty announced.

  “From the first time he touched me, it was different. He made me feel like I was the only female on the planet. I can’t resist him. He makes me happy, like I could never want for anything else, ever. Ty, I thought I knew what the deepest love felt like. I loved you for so long, and I am so sorry if this hurts you, but I have never felt this way before.”

  I was shocked she said all those things. Not shocked she felt that way. I felt the same. I was however, shocked she told him. Her honest confession kept my cousin from speakin’. After a long period of silence, I walked back into the room.

  “I get it.” Ty said as he saw me walkin’ in.

  “You get what?” I said as I sat beside him.

  “You two. Honestly, it makes sense. You are so much alike that I don’t think you even realize it. Not that this changes anything, but after what happened last night, I told Heather I didn’t want to see her anymore. I think seeing what I did, what I caused, made me see what a fool I have been. I need to change. Honestly, I need to admit that I was never happy being with Van. If I was then I never would have cheated, not once. I let the best girl I have ever known get away.”

  I put my arm around my cousin. “You hungry?”

  “Nah, I need to get out of here for a while. My parents are going to wonder why Van is in here with you. I need to get this all out in the open.” Ty replied.

  Savanna cut in. “They already know. They caught us together….the night you woke up.”

  “What the fuck? Is there anything else I need to know?” He asked.

  Savanna stood in front of Ty. “They forbid us to see each other. Your mother threatened me and your dad told Colt he had to leave. He only stayed for you.”

  Ty shook his head. “You let me propose, hell they let me propose, knowing all along you were in love with Colt?”

  “There were so many people there. You had just got home. I couldn’t hurt you like that.” Savanna admitted.

  “I appreciate that. If it’s any consolation, I told everyone at the party that I ended it with you.”

  Ty’s confession actually made Savanna laugh. “I need to ask you a favor. Your parents are not going to understand things. Please don’t tell them about the parking lot. They think I am such a whore already. I just can’t live with that.”

  “How about my cousin and I go have a family talk. You stay here and get cleaned up. I think If I distance myself from the two of you right now, I will turn around and get all pissed again. I need to just be around you guys for a while. I know it sounds convoluted, but it is just how I deal.”

  I stood up and helped Ty get into a standing position. I didn’t lean over and kiss Savanna. Things were super awkward. I was still expecting’ Ty to rip out a pistol and shoot me to death. We walked out of the carriage house, once I got a shirt on, and headed toward the main house.

  “If I could stand up long enough I would have kicked your ass by now.” Ty stated as we approached the porch.

  “You could try.” I teased.

  “I don’t fucking forgive you.”

  “I know.” I pulled the porch
screen door open as he hobbled his way inside.

  Ty turned around before going in the house. “I was a shitty boyfriend. I lied about the one person I looked up to in life. Honestly, I figured this would hurt a lot more than it does. I think she was more like a piece of property and not a person. Sounds shitty right?”

  “She’s never been that to me.” I admitted.

  “Yeah. Thing is….seeing you with her last night. I want to feel that. When I walked back in that bar and saw the way you two were, well first it was a kick in the gut, but after that I was so jealous that I never felt like that myself. The way she looked at you….it was fucking insane.”

  I couldn’t help but smile. I knew what he saw. Savanna and I had been too drunk to care, but the truth was written all over our actions. I remembered feeling like it was just us there on that dance floor.

  I also knew that Ty never really respected Savanna. For years he had cheated on her and disrespected her. As much as I wanted to feel bad about what I had done, I couldn’t. It may not have been right, but I didn’t do it alone.

  “I’m not sorry for lovin’ her. You also know that technically she wasn’t yours when we were together. She never cheated on you, except for the past two nights when she was wearin’ that ring.” I realized what I said too late. Ty’s fist came up and got me right between the eyes. He fell back against the wall, while I wiped away the gushing blood coming out of my nose.

  “You deserved that, you dickhead.”

  I smiled and held my nose up, pinching it. “Yeah, maybe I did.”

  “You going to hit me back?” Ty asked.

  “No, you can have that one for free. I deserved it.”

  “Did you do her before or after the proposal?” He asked.

  “You seriously want to know?”

  “Yes! Dammit just spill. All the shit I have done. I need to know she aint that perfect.” He spat out.

  I was trying to keep the blood off the floor, so I grabbed my shirt and pulled it over my head. I held it up to my face as I talked. “It was durin’ the storm. After you put that ring on her finger, I needed to get the hell away from the both of you. I went out to the combine with a six pack of beer. When it started stormin’ I was already half lit. I heard someone cryin’ and found Savanna standin’ out in the storm alone.” There was no need to give details. I was sure he didn’t want them.

  “So what was she crying about? How did it turn out with sex? Because, she slept in my fucking bed that night. Now I get why she rejected me so much. She was all filled up already.”

  I stuck my finger in his face. “Don’t talk about her like that Ty. She was upset because of you, because of everything. You were so caught up in your friends that you never even came lookin’ for her. Your own fiancée.”

  “So you had sex in a combine. You one upped me there.” He laughed.

  “Actually….” I held my hand up. “Never mind!”

  “Well, now I want to know.” He ordered.

  “It doesn’t matter. Just drop it.”

  “You know I am really trying to be understanding. I wish everyone could realize that it still feels like last year to me. Even back then I didn’t really have Van. She was already slipping away. I was stupid to think I could go around behind her back forever. She deserved better.” Ty admitted.

  “Well, I am tryin’ to do right by her Ty. It hasn’t been easy for us so far. Between trying to deny our feelin’s and me livin’ so far away. Hell, I don’t even know what she is goin’ to decide. I can’t very well ask her to give up her life here.” I explained.

  “Well I have to warn you. She puts school before everything. It’s really important to her.”

  We were interrupted when my aunt came walking to the door. She opened it up and looked from Ty to me. “What is going on here?” She asked.

  “Just let us come inside and we will explain.” Ty said.

  We walked in the house and I sat down at the kitchen table. My aunt brought over the paper towels and a wet rag. “Which one of you is going to start explaining?” She asked.

  I looked from Ty and then back to my aunt. “I think you should tell her.”

  Ty laughed. “You would.” He looked down and for a second before he started talking. “Mom, there is a bunch I need to tell you.”

  My aunt cut him off. “Son, after seeing you dropped off by some girl this morning, I am going to assume that I already know what is going on. From the look of Colt’s nose, I have to ask. Where does this leave the two of you?”

  She was referring to Ty and I. That was a question for him, more than me.

  “We are blood. Nothing is going to come between that.” Ty explained.

  “I am guessing the broken nose helped with the hard feelings?” She said in a sarcastic way.

  “You could say that.”

  She gave my nose a good look. “I don’t think it needs to be reset. It may not even be broken.” She was sticking an icepack on it before turning around. “So where is the reason for all this fighting?”

  Ty chimed in. “We left her in the carriage house for protection.”

  I chuckled and shook my head. Even Ty seemed to laugh at himself.

  “I am not even going to ask. I am just glad you boys are okay with all of this.” She said.

  I stood up and excused myself from the conversation. Ty held out his hand before I left. “Will I see you guys later?”

  “I reckon if you want to. We can have a serious game of Rummy if you’re up for it.” I explained.

  “Yeah, Sounds good. I will knock before I come in.” Ty said.

  At that moment I caught my aunt shaking her head. I kept walking. She could baby her son all she wanted but I was a grown man.

  Chapter 29

  Savanna

  Colt came back from the main house with two black eyes and a very swollen nose. He insisted that he and Ty were on good terms and he deserved the punch that Ty had given him. I didn’t feel very comfortable with them making plans to spend time together, but Colt insisted that it was important to him. I thought they were crazy, in fact insane. Who makes up that fast?

  I wasn’t about to argue with them. Their family handled things differently than normal society. Blood always came first no matter what the issue was. I could tell that Ty was more tore up about things than he was admitting, but as long as he seemed calm around me, I wasn’t going to worry about it.

  After getting Colt a new icepack, we laid down on the couch watching movies. Neither one of us said much. I knew Colt wanted me to give him answers about what I wanted to do, but I honestly didn’t know. I loved him, I was sure about that, but I was determined to finished school before I made any decisions regarding my future.

  Colt would be here for at least another month, I had time to make my decision, and make sure it was the right one. He had everything figured out in his head, but I just wasn’t ready to give up everything.

  After the first movie. Colt fell asleep. His face looked terrible and I had to laugh at how similar it was to when I got jumped by those girls. He was sitting up with his arms draped over me. I grabbed them and scooted myself to the side. I loved watching him sleep, even sometimes when he snored. I sat back against the other end of the couch and really looked at him. His brown hair was starting to curl up a little on the ends, especially when he had his hat on. He didn’t bother shaving this morning so there was a shadow of stubble all over his face. His full lips were parted just enough for him to breathe out of his mouth. I loved the small freckles that traced over his nose from the sun. I also couldn’t help but love the fact that he was more than sexy when he didn’t have a shirt on.

  He was the whole package, the kind of guy that every girl says doesn’t exist. Sure, he was rough around the edges when it came to talking about feelings. He had refused to talk about our relationship, even though he and I both knew it had been turning into more.

  Still, I knew the real Colton Mitchell, the one who risked his own family’s approval to be with me.
I still hadn’t discussed Ty’s mother, but she clearly wasn’t freaking out, otherwise I wouldn’t still be on her property. I didn’t know how Ty had come to terms with me and Colt so quickly. One minute he was flipping out and the next he was calm and understanding. Was it that easy to just walk away? Ever since I got involved with Colt, the fact that we were hurting Ty tore me up inside. He made me feel like such a blind idiot for not seeing all the signs. All of the times I caught him with girls numbers, or talking to them in private. I was so stupid. Ty was gorgeous himself. Of course maybe I was partial, but Colt had a more adult look to him, while Ty was just an average college football guy. Colt’s chest was broad, from years of working on the farm and playing sports. Ty was getting there, but he was shorter, at least by four or five inches. His arms weren’t as defined, and now they were pretty small considering he hadn’t been out of a bed in months.

  Still, I knew that Ty would be back to himself in no time. I wasn’t worried that he would be alone for long. He may have rejected Heather, but she wasn’t the only skeleton in his closet. There obviously were plenty more to choose from, not to mention any ones that he hadn’t given a turn yet.

  Thinking about it made me feel like I got kicked in the stomach. I had invested my whole teenage years into our relationship, and never once was he that serious. No wonder we fought all of the time.

  I stood up and decided to go out to see Daisy. I just wanted some time alone to think about things.

  I no sooner got into the barn when I saw Ty standing with Daisy. He was petting her, talking to her. I approached them and he smiled. “Hey.”

  “Hey yourself.” I answered. “What are you doing out here?”

  “I was waiting for you actually.” He confessed.

  I smiled, but felt really weird about that. He couldn’t have known Colt would fall asleep. “Did you want to talk?”

  I stood on the other side of Daisy and ran my hands down her braided mane. Ty looked over at me. “Yeah. I wanted to talk to you without Colt. You see I may have stepped back to give you guys a chance, but I know for fact that you won’t leave. I know you Van. You won’t leave school for him. I also know that somewhere in that head of yours, you still love me. You may think Colt is great now, but what happens when it’s just you and I again? What happens when you get so lonely and I am here waiting for you? This new romance with him might be great right now, but it can’t last and you know it.”