What to Do With a Bad Boy

by Marie Harte

  A catch-22, and he had no way to deal. So he tossed his gym bag in the truck and drove to therapy.

  An hour and a half later, he and one other guy remained in the gym. Earlier, Mike had gone a few rounds on the mat with a new mixed martial arts guy, one who had a chip on his shoulder.

  Not such a big chip now that Mike had knocked it off. He’d planted the guy’s face into the mat so many times he’d earned a standing ovation from the regulars.

  The guy jumping rope finally stopped, took the tape off his hands, grabbed his bag, and left.

  Finally. Mike had the place to himself.

  Almost. Sal entered.

  “Yo, Mike. I’m going into the back office to work. You good out front?” Sal, the owner, usually knocked off early on Friday. Eight o’clock and he started in on bookkeeping.

  “No problem. I’m just going to hit the bag for a while.”

  “Whatever you need. Work it off, man. You got a rage burning.”

  Mike grunted and ripped off his sweat-soaked shirt. Then he wrapped his hands and put on some gloves, needing the protection. Now alone, he gave in to the need to destroy and whaled on the heavy bag in the corner. For every hit, he wiped away the image of Del darting in front of that car. Of Colin crying out as he scraped himself on the pavement, busting his wrist. Of Del lying unconscious, bloodied, unmoving. Of Lea, reaching out a hand to him before closing her eyes and just fading away…

  “Heard I’d find you here.”

  He glanced up to see Liam Webster standing by the raised boxing ring. Behind him in the shadows stood someone else. J.T. most likely. Terrific. Mike continued to punch, frustrated, angry, and…lost. “Yeah?”

  Lights dimmed near the entrance, a sure sign Sal planned to close soon. But Mike could see well enough. Sal left the lights on near his end of the gym. Good man. He pounded a few more times, then Liam took the bag and held it steady.

  “Keep going. I’ll wait.”

  “For what?” Mike abused the bag, hitting hard enough he should have punched his rage away, yet it lingered. He kept his balance, grounded his feet, and didn’t pause between punches like a newbie. Four shots, a pause, four more shots. Until finally, he needed a break.

  Breathing hard, he took the water bottle Liam handed him. “Thanks.”

  “What’s going on with you, Mike?”

  “What do you mean?” Time to start hitting again.

  “You dumped my daughter.”

  Mike blinked. “What the fuck are you talking about? I’m giving her space.”

  “No. You broke it off with her in the hospital.”

  “That’s horse shit. I didn’t break off anything. She wants me to give her space, I’m giving it to her. Ask Rena if you don’t believe me. I’ve tried talking to her all week, but Rena’s the one returning my messages.” Mike tossed the water and started hitting again. Liam, brave man that that he was, stood close.

  “She saved your son.”

  “You think I don’t know that?” Mike knocked the bag so hard Liam jolted back. Stepping back in disgust, not as tired or as sore as he wanted to be, Mike rid himself of the gloves. “Why are you here?”

  “Just tell me something. Do you love my daughter at all?”

  Mike wanted to tell the man to shove off. It was none of his business how Mike felt.

  “Because if you’ve been using her, just getting off while she nearly died trying to—”

  “Fuck off. It’s not your concern.”

  “It is.”

  “I love her, okay?” he yelled, needing to say it. “I was too late. She shoved Colin to safety, and the car knocked her hard. She landed on the pavement, smacking her head, just lying there. Bleeding.” He paced, not caring, not knowing half of what he said, reliving that awful memory. “She didn’t move. She was dead for all I knew.”

  “Mike, she’s okay—”

  “But she could have died! Again. And I couldn’t do anything. Don’t you fucking get it?”

  “I do.” Liam’s quiet words didn’t help.

  “I love her so much it eats me inside. I didn’t want to. Didn’t want this again.” He stopped, breathing hard.

  Liam put a hand on his shoulder, and he shrugged it off. He heard J.T. shuffling behind him.

  “Don’t touch me.”

  “Mike, calm down—”

  “You calm down! They all want me to get over it. To stop and deal. Well, I’ve been fucking dealing! Then your hard-ass daughter busts her way into my life, and I can’t stop dealing, because I’m laughing and loving and she’s fucking lying there, bleeding…” Mike wanted to stop, to make the pain go away. “She was bleeding out. All that blood everywhere.”

  He saw Del, then Lea. Lea’s slack face, blood soaking the sheets, the table, while he stood by helplessly.

  “They handed him to me while they tried to save her.” Holding Colin while Del lay there, not moving. His son crying. A baby’s wail, a little boy’s tears. He looked at Liam, shocked to see the man’s image blurring. “She just wouldn’t wake up,” he cracked on the word, breaking down. He sank to his knees, sobbing, unable to differentiate his losses. “I can’t. Not again. I can’t do this.”

  “Oh son, it’s okay.” Then his father was there, hugging him, holding him. “It’s all right. It’s okay, Mike. Let it out.”

  “Y-you don’t… She was so quiet. So beautiful.” He couldn’t stop crying and found it hard to breathe. “She didn’t move, and all the blood just kept coming. On her head…”

  “They are, aren’t they? So beautiful, even in that final stillness,” Liam said quietly, and something about his tone got through to Mike. He looked up to see Liam standing there, a strong man with tears in his eyes. “My Bridget was like that. So beautiful, even through the cancer that ravaged her face, her body. But she just lit up whatever room she was in. That last day in bed, not breathing, not moving, she was fucking gorgeous. And gone.”

  “They don’t get it,” Mike whispered, wishing he could make everyone understand how difficult moving on could be.

  “No, they don’t. You’re a strong man, Mike. A man who’s known loss and moved on. But like me, you’ve never really moved on, have you?” Liam crouched to look Mike in the eye. “You buried your pain so deep it’s never gotten a chance to heal. You pretend, so everyone will leave you the fuck alone.”

  His father hugged him tighter, suffocating him. Mike fought, but his dad wouldn’t let go, and that somehow made everything worse.

  “But then you find someone who makes your heart race and the world seem brighter,” Liam murmured. “You don’t want to fall for her, because you know how painful it can be if they leave you too soon. Do you die with her, or do you go on living?” Liam didn’t bother hiding his own pain. “I had six short years with my Bridget, and I wouldn’t trade any of them. But you know what? I wish to hell I could go back and undo the last thirty years of my life, because I’ve been a scared shit not letting myself deal.

  “I fell into a nightmare with Del’s mom. Only good thing that came of it was that precious girl. And she deserves the best life can give her.”

  Liam jerked Mike’s chin up, holding tight to his jaw. “That girl loves you. And she’s earned one of those happy endings her cousin’s always reading about. Life sucks, son, especially when you’re dealt the hand we’ve been. But you’ve got to take a chance, or you might as well have bled out with ’em.”

  He let Mike go. “I’m sorry for all you’ve lost, much as I’m sorry for me. But I’m tired of living alone, of holding on to the grief. It’ll only drag you down. If you love my daughter the way I think you do, you won’t want that for her.” Liam brushed his tears away, then winked. “Sac up, boy. Don’t let her go too long, because my girl can rebound faster than you can say boo. And she’s not known for being the wisest about a broken heart. She got into more trouble in high school than you ever want to know.” Liam stared at him. “It’s up to you, Mike. But whatever you decide to do, don’t take her down with you.” He walk
ed away.

  Mike’s voice was hoarse when he answered to Liam’s back, “I won’t.”

  He tried to stand but couldn’t with his father wrapped around him like a vine. Realization dawned. “Shit. You heard all that.”

  “Every fucking word. Lea’s dead, Mike. Del almost joined her. How do you feel about that?” When he remained silent, his father shook him. “Answer me, you little shit. You never would have seen her again. Just like Lea. Do you really want Del gone?”

  Mike wanted to tell his father to go to hell.

  Then he imagined Del dead, as lost to him as Lea. And he cried. He cried as he’d never been able to before. He lost sense of everything but the massive grief for his wife, for the son who would never know her, for Del, and most of all for himself. His loss. His pain.

  He unearthed it and let the festering rot go.

  When he could reason again, he saw darkness all around him.

  “D-dad?”

  His father let him go and stood. “Sal told me to let him know when we were done. No problem.”

  Mike groaned. So Sal had seen him sobbing like a little girl. Terrific. He recalled what his father had said to him. “I’m not a little shit.”

  “More like a big one.”

  Mike glanced up at the roughness in his father’s voice, shocked to see James McCauley’s eyes as red as his must have been. “Dad?”

  “I’m so sorry, Mike. We all knew it had been hard for you, but you bucked up so quickly. Then you didn’t want to talk about her anymore. I guess we all wanted you to be better so much that we kind of didn’t let you feel for her.”

  Mike sighed, feeling stupid, yet incredibly lighter as well. “It was my fault. No one else’s.”

  “No. You needed to grieve. Your mother and I should have forced you to see someone.” At his grimace, his father sympathized. “I know. It sucks. Don’t tell your mother this, but it helps a lot. That couples therapist has made your mother see I’m not such an asshole either.”

  “Real magic, eh?” His throat felt scratchy.

  “Come on. Let’s get you home. I think you about beat that bag enough, don’t you?”

  Mike glanced around. “You were here the whole time?” So it had been his dad and not J.T. with Liam.

  “Yeah. Liam was worried about Del and about you. Since your mother and I were worried as well, we decided I should check on you.”

  “Don’t tell Mom about this.”

  “Oh hell no. Trust me. She finds out I punked a few tears, I’ll never hear the end of it.” His father coughed to clear his throat. “But, ah, I’m glad you let go about Lea. It’s been a long time coming, son.”

  “I guess.”

  His father helped him to his feet. “So.”

  “What?” Mike walked toward the locker room, his dad trailing behind him. He grabbed his things, yelled a good-bye to Sal, then left through the front door. “Dad?”

  “So…Del. You said you’re in love with her. The real deal.”

  “I am.”

  “Well, correct me if I’m wrong. But didn’t Liam just say Del and you broke up?”

  Mike frowned. “He did, didn’t he? What’s that all about?”

  “Sounds to me like you’re not the only one having problems. Think you should talk to Del, maybe?”

  “Don’t act meek. It doesn’t become you.” He sounded like he’d just chewed gravel, and his eyes burned from so many tears. Walking felt like he moved through sand, taking forever.

  “So I should say what I think? Fine. You haven’t been eating. I think you’ve lost weight. You had a huge drama tonight, and you need to sleep it off. See the girl soon, make things right, and try to do better than your bumbling brothers did with their women. I mean, of the four of you, you’re the one who takes after me most. Try not to fuck it up.”

  “Why is that always your soundest piece of advice?”

  They got into the car, with his father driving him home since Liam had driven James to the gym. On the way, his father asked, “Do you have a plan?”

  “Beyond going to bed and sleeping off a crying jag? No.”

  “Well, when you’re looking better and have eaten something, figure it out before you see her. And remember, she’s more fragile than she looks. Be easy on the girl. She has feelings, you know.”

  “Yeah, just like you,” Mike sneered.

  “Get off it, Nancy. You cried a river,” his father teased back. “You do realize Cam would be royally pissed to know he missed so much emotional sharing.”

  Mike leaned his head back against the seat and closed his eyes. “So we’ll never ever tell him.”

  “You got that right. What goes on at the gym stays at the gym.”

  “Amen.”

  They drove for a while. His father broke the silence. “You know, this truck is driving a lot better than I remember. You have some work done?”

  Mike sighed. By the best mechanic in the world. Now I just need to get her to work on me.

  Chapter 22

  Sunday morning, Del sat on her bed and winced as her cousin opened the shades and tiptoed around the room. “What the hell are you doing?”

  Rena shrieked. “Oh man. You nearly gave me a heart attack!”

  “You’re the one skulking around my room.”

  Rena looked around her and grimaced. “It’s like you built shrines to Popular Mechanic and Marvel. What is going on in here?” She tried stepping around the stacks Del had carefully placed around the room.

  “I’m cleaning. Since my father all but booted me out of the garage this past week, I had to do something or go stark raving insane. I’m cleaning out five years’ worth of magazines.”

  “Where were they before now?” Rena gaped, mystified.

  “Under my bed.”

  “In horizontal stacks, I’m sure.”

  “Don’t judge, Ms. Romance.”

  “Hey. Books make you smart. Magazines… Maybe Omni or The New Yorker. But She-Hulk?”

  “That attitude will not get you any classic copies of my comics.”

  Rena wiped her forehead. “Whew. Thank goodness. I was worried I’d have to pretend to accept them, then hoof it down to the recycle center.”

  “And you wonder why nobody likes you.”

  Rena laughed and opened more blinds.

  “The light. It burns.” It actually did exacerbate her headache.

  “Easy, Golem. I’m just trying to bring some light into your life…” Pause, and here it came, “…since you’ve refused to see Mike, that golden god of sexiness, again.” Rena sat next to her on the bed and nearly knocked over a new stack.

  “Careful.”

  “To hell with the magazines. Why are you not taking Mike’s calls? Because his son nearly killed you?”

  “Rena. What are you talking about?”

  “Colin. I’m thinking you blame Mike because you had to save Colin’s life. Right?”

  “First of all, I don’t think Colin would have died. The girl stomped on the brakes pretty quick. Second, it had nothing to do with Mike. I was watching the kid when Mike needed a bathroom stop. It was really my fault he was in danger.” She still felt terrible about that, even though Colin had darted into the lot despite being told not to. “Anyway, Mike and I broke up. Your blame game is stupid.”

  “So are you if you think you two are over. He stopped calling only because I told him you didn’t want to talk to him. He loves you.”

  “Actually, he doesn’t. I flat out told him I loved him and he said nothing.”

  Rena’s eyes widened. “You did not.”

  “I did. Right there in the hospital, hooked up to tubes and in that nasty hospital gown. I told him I loved him. He told me we’d talk about it later.”

  “And?”

  “And what? He doesn’t love me. We’re through. He also mentioned that I don’t make him happy.”

  Rena gasped. “He said that?”

  “Not in so many words, but I know what he meant. He doesn’t love me.” None of
them do, not the ones who matter. At the pathetic—though true—thought, she realized her pity party had no place in the World of Del Webster. She’d finished that need-to-please phase by doing every swinging dick in high school. Threesomes, girls, boys, whatever and whenever to get people to like her. The drugs and shoplifting had been the icing on the cake, and had shown her that no matter how hard she worked or what she did to please others, they’d never give her what she wanted. Del had to love herself. And she did. She just wished others would as well.

  She didn’t count her dad or J.T. or Rena, who’d inherited her. They had to deal with her. Only those with a choice turned their backs, consistently.

  Colin didn’t. Her stupid conscience forced her to be honest with herself. So she ignored it. “I thought you had a date today.”

  “With a client, but I did him.” Rena leaned closer and gave a mock shiver. “Oh baby, I did him so good.” She chuckled and pretended her fingers were scissors. “A nice surfer cut. Dude looks hot on the arm of his biker boyfriend. The pair went over to J.T.’s for matching love tattoos when I finished with him.”

  “Fuck true love,” she muttered.

  “Oh boy. It’s gonna be a long day at the Webster household.”

  ***

  A long night, and a long couple of days after. Her father refused to let her leave the office except to take a piss. The guys at the shop treated her like spun glass. Even when she glared and roared about deadlines and cleanliness in the shop, they yessed her to death, not giving her the fight she wanted. Mike, that huge asshole, had taken their breakup to heart. Rena was so full of it. The guy hadn’t called. Period.

  The only bright spots in her convalescence were the cute get-well cards from Colin and Brian, and the visits from the girls—Abby, Maddie, and Vanessa. They cheered her up, talked about their men and the move-ins getting ready to take place, and in general made fun of Brody’s nervousness about living with Abby, which Abby found delightful.

  “He’s scared of me.” She’d grinned over a margarita last night while Del had been forced to drink lemonade because of her painkillers. Her headaches had mostly gone away, but the bruises and occasional neck pain still hit.