Secrets (A Standalone Novel) (A Suspense Romance)

by Adams, Claire

  I closed my eyes and was set to get some sleep, but it just wouldn’t come. Chris seemed to have a very rough sleep, and I wondered what he dreamed about. His body jerked and moved throughout the night and woke me up several times when I would drift off to sleep. He seemed to be having nightmares and fought off bad guys while he slept. I finally found a period between his nightmares when I was able to fully fall asleep. My body was exhausted and I felt it release into relaxation as I fell fast asleep.

  I woke up to a hard shove and I was thrown from the bed onto the ground. I screamed out in shock and grabbed my face. It took me a moment to figure out what had just happened and I looked around to get oriented. I was all the way on the ground on the other side of the bed. I really didn’t know how I had gotten that far over, but I felt like I had been it really hard in the face. I looked up at Chris and he had woken up from my scream.

  It took us both a couple moments before we had figured out what had happened. He had thrown me from the bed in the midst of a nightmare and his hand had hit me on the side of my face. The pain was intense, but I didn’t cry. I had never been it before. It took me awhile to realize what the pain was. I held my hand against my face. I just looked up at Chris in bewilderment.

  Chris jumped from the bed and came to my side.

  “Are you alright? I was having a nightmare. I’m so sorry.”

  “I’m fine. Just startled me. I won’t die.”

  Chris looked horrified at what had happened. He pulled my hand away from my face and looked at the red mark on my cheek. Luckily he had been half asleep when he hit me, I doubted that I would still be conscious if he had really hit me with all his strength.

  “Oh God, Katelyn I’m so sorry.”

  “I know you were asleep. It’s alright. What were you dreaming about?”

  “I don’t know someone held me down and I couldn’t move. I was trying to free my arms and swung them around. That must have been when I hit you. I can’t believe this.”

  Chris placed his hand gently against my face as he looked at me in horror. I could tell that he had never hit a woman before. Not out of anger or even in an accident. He looked devastated.

  Chapter 44

  I looked up at Chris and his eyes looked sad.

  “I’m fine. It’s alright,” I said as I grabbed his face.

  His beard tickled under my fingers and I tugged on it as we kissed. His passion came to life and he lifted me onto the bed. We were both still naked, but he had a renewed level of energy. Even the disrupted sleep he had all night had given him enough of his energy back that he seemed like his old self. The power was back in his body and the light back in his eyes.

  His arms wrapped around me and his eyes locked onto mine. I felt his intensity and wanted to feel him inside of me. I reached for his cock and let my hand bring him to life. I loved being naked with him, ever moment of it. Our chemistry was perfect together and it felt like home when we were next to each other. I let my hand move up and down his cock a couple times before Chris pulled my hands away.

  He wasn’t about to let me be in charge, he pinned my arms above my head. His lips took one of my nipples into his mouth and I lost all control. The warmth of his mouth sent tingling sensations throughout my body. I had missed him so much. It had only been a few weeks, but the touch of his body and mine together was perfection. I wanted more. I needed more. I needed Chris to be with me every night. I didn’t want to be apart from him again.

  I wiggled my hands free from his hold and moved them to explore his body. I wanted to feel his skin. I wanted to take it all in again.

  “I’ve missed you,” I whispered as my hands moved through his hair. Chris didn’t respond. He grabbed my hands and pinned them back above my head. The intensity in his eyes showed me that he missed me too. His throbbing cock slid near me and he teased me by moving in closer and closer and then he pulled his hips away from me.

  I moved my hips and searched for his cock. I pressed forward as I tried to meet up with him, but he prevented it. He wanted to control this situation and wasn’t about to give me the satisfaction that I desired so dearly. He moved close to me again and let the tip of his cock slide into me, I moaned with anticipation as I felt his bulge. He denied me again and pulled his cock away from me. He loved to deny me, it was a power he had and used with pleasure.

  My eyes met his and I could see a smile under his rough beard. The edges of his eyes curled up in pleasure as he noted my desire had built more and more to have him inside me. We continued to look at each other as his cock slid into me ever so slightly. I wanted him all the way. I needed all of him inside of me, but I couldn’t show how much I desired him. I leaned up to kiss him, but he pulled back.

  Then in one swift motion he slammed his cock deep inside of me. I let out a moan and closed my eyes as I took him in. It felt so good to have him fill me up. The girth of his body fit perfectly inside of mine. It was an intense feeling that I longed to have more of. I longed to have more of Chris.

  “Open them,” Chris commanded.

  I didn’t know what he meant at first, but then I opened my eyes and looked at him. That was what he wanted. He wanted me to look into his eyes as he moved inside of me. I didn’t feel comfortable with looking at him while he was inside of me. I felt awkward at first as I looked at him, but then a level of intimacy that I had not felt before rushed over me. He didn’t hold back as his hips thrust hard into me. I moaned and tried to get my arms free, but he wouldn’t allow it. I felt like I couldn’t keep looking at him and I tried to look away, but each time I did, he ordered me to open my eyes again.

  “Look at me Katelyn,” Chris said in a seductively calm voice.

  His voice felt like silk and I got wet with each word he spoke. His eyes looked at me with desire and I knew he wanted more than just a quick fuck in his bed. I felt more from him. I felt him there with me. He let go of my arms and I moved them to his back. I held onto him as our bodies moved in time with each other. Thrust after thrust I felt my body building up to an explosion. I closed my eyes to concentrate on the feeling.

  Chris put his hand on my cheek gently. The same cheek that was now swelling up from his hand hitting it.

  “Keep them open, I want to see your face when you cum,” he said.

  His voice was firm and full of desire. I could tell that watching me cum was going to excite him a lot. I decided to just go with it. I pushed down my own insecurities and looked Chris right in the eyes. I held on tight to him as he thrust his body into mine. I bit my lip as the tingle of an orgasm started deep inside me. I moved my hips hard against his and wanted more. I wanted the eruption. I needed to feel the explosion and was going to keep my eyes fixated on Chris’ and let him watch my face when the moment happened.

  Faster, harder, and our bodies finally met at just the right moment. He thrust into me and I let out a scream of desire. I used everything I had to keep my eyes opened and looking at his eyes. It made the orgasm so intense. I held on tight as he continued with a couple thrust and watched as my body shook with delight. I arched and moved against his body as the orgasm made its way through my body. More and more I wanted, so I kept moving my hips against him, Chris met my movements with his own thrusts and soon I had come as much as I thought was humanly possible.

  I let go of his body and my arms collapsed onto the bed in exhaustion. I finally closed my eyes and felt his lips kiss mine and then moved to my cheek. Chris slid off of me and lay there; his fingers traced the curves of my body as I continued to feel the aftershock of orgasms flow through me. I tried to keep looking at him but my eyes were getting tired. I felt his arms wrapped around me and it was the safest I had felt in weeks. I started to drift off to sleep. This time, I was not concerned at all about Chris. My body was exhausted and needed sleep desperately.

  Chapter 45

  I don’t know how long I slept but when I woke up I went downstairs to find Chris making breakfast and all the other guys were gone. The house was very quiet, especially si
nce the guys had left and it was only Chris and I. When I had first arrived I didn’t think it was a working bed and breakfast, but as I watched Chris in the kitchen I thought that perhaps it was an operating business. The feeling that we were lovers on a secluded vacation to this old bed and breakfast was wonderful. I smiled as I took in the scene of Chris cooking and the beautiful summer day through the windows.

  “Good morning, beautiful,” Chris said as he flipped pancakes.

  He had on only a pair of jeans and they fit every muscular curve he had. I could stand and look at the muscles of his stomach forever. He didn’t have a six-pack; instead it was more like an eight-pack. Each group of muscles genetically perfect and like they had been drawn onto his body by an artist.

  “Morning Chris,” I said as I sat at the table.

  I continued to watch him work the kitchen like he knew exactly what he was doing. It was sexy as hell to see a man who knew his way around the kitchen. His hands worked quickly from one task to the next as he mixed the pancake batter, cut up strawberries and poured orange juice. He was certainly very good with his hands that I knew from experience.

  “Did you sleep well?” Chris asked.

  “God yes, I felt like I slept for a week,” I said.

  Chris brought over a couple plates full of food and then some orange juice. We both sat there and ate in silence. I couldn’t remember how long it had been since I had eaten. Maybe two days before when I was at Rebecca and Robert’s house? I shoveled in the pancakes and strawberries like a prisoner who had been denied food for weeks. It surprised me how comfortable I felt with Chris and his new beard. It looked good on him now that he was all cleaned up. I think he might have trimmed it at some point while I was asleep also. The curves of his beard matched perfectly with the edges of his chiseled jawline.

  He sat there eating his food and every now and then glanced at me and smiled. It was a reassuring smile that I needed so very much. I still didn’t know what was going on and although I was freaked out about it on the inside, I did try not to worry too much about it. I was there with Chris now; nothing could go wrong with him there. I saw the wound on his shoulder from the gunshot he had taken a few weeks before. It was all healed now with a raised red scar that had formed. My fingers traced over the scar and I looked up at him. The horror of that night was very fresh in my brain and I doubted I would forget about it any time soon.

  “Does it still hurt?” I asked.

  “No, it’s better.”

  “Should I call Rebecca and Robert? I know they must be getting freaked out.”

  “I called Sheriff Thomson and told him you were with me, he’ll let them know.”

  Chris handled things very efficiently. The fact that he knew who Sheriff Thomson was, that impressed me a great deal. Chris was a smart man and seemed to think things through about ten steps ahead of everyone else. I couldn’t even imagine being able to think about steps that were so far ahead of the moment I was in.

  “Okay, that’s good. I just didn’t want them to worry. How long are we going to stay here?”

  “Well, I would like it if you stayed here, but I have to go back to work for a little bit.” Panic struck my whole body as I thought about being left alone in the house. I knew we were far away from where the men had hurt Chris, but I didn’t like the thought of being left without any protection.

  “Will Gunner be with me? Or one of the other guys?”

  “No, they need to come with me on this mission. You will be alright. No one knows we are here except the owners of the property.”

  “I won’t be safe,” I said as my voice cracked.

  “You will be safe. I wouldn’t leave you here if I didn’t think you would be alright.”

  I felt my breath get faster as I started to panic. I couldn’t be left alone; there was just no way that I would be alright.

  “I’ll just come with you. Where are you going?”

  “Babe, you can’t come with me. I’m going to be down in Chicago messing up some pretty bad guys. You need to stay here.”

  Panic filled my body and I felt my breath getting faster and faster. The color left my face and I felt my face drain of all the color. I was left with a pale face and felt like I was about to pass out. The room was closing in on me and I felt extremely dizzy.

  “I can’t stay alone,” I said as my hands shook.

  Chris grabbed both of my hands and held them firm in his own. He looked at me in the eyes and I felt he was there with me. He didn’t condemn me for being scared, instead he understood and that helped me calm down.

  “I’ll give you a gun. Would you like that?” I thought about it for a moment. I had never shot a gun before, but the idea of having one around did make me feel a little better.

  “Will you show me how to use it?”

  “Of course, after breakfast we can go out back and I will show you. But I should only be gone for a day or two, you will be just fine. I promise.”

  I couldn’t eat another bite of my breakfast and instead waited for him to eat so he could show me how to shoot the gun. It made me feel much better to think I would at least be able to protect myself if I had to; I just hoped I wouldn’t have to do it. I had never been around guns and didn’t’ feel comfortable at all with the idea of having to shoot one. But it was much better to be able to shoot the bad guys than to let them shoot me.

  Chapter 46

  The cold metal of his gun felt sexy in my hands. I held the heavy gun and tried to point it at the target Chris had set up for me on the other end of the yard. The weight of the gun made it difficult to keep my hands outstretched though. My muscles just were not use to having to work that hard.

  I relaxed my arms and the gun pointed toward the ground. It was silver and I really didn’t know what type of gun it was. It was flat on the sides and had a slip of bullets that slid into the bottom of the gun. I wanted to know how to shoot it. I wanted to feel safe when Chris was gone and feel like I could protect myself if I had to. Chris came over and showed me how to put the safety back on the gun.

  “Anytime it is not in use you have to have the safety on. This is essential. Do not forget it.”

  The serious nature of his voice told me that it indeed was essential and I would do my best to not forget about it. I hated guns and never in my life would I have thought I would want to learn how to shoot one. But there were a lot of things in my life that had changed in the previous weeks, so shooting a gun wasn’t all that surprising.

  It was a novelty to have a gun in my hand, but I didn’t like the responsibility that would come if I shot the gun. It would mean I could potential take someone’s life. Obviously I would only do that if it was someone who tried to take my life. But I didn’t have a lot of confidence in my abilities and I still felt like the possibility of hurting someone who was innocent was always there. That was a really big deal and not something I took lightly. I doubted I would ever be able to actually shoot the gun off. But it did make me feel better to know how to use it, just in case.

  We remained in the backyard for a couple hours and I tried over and over to shoot the gun and hit the target, without any luck. It was just too hard to hold the gun up and aim. I needed much more practice. I probably also needed to work out a little more. My life consisted of working on my old house and taking pictures. I didn’t go to the gym and I certainly didn’t spend any time lifting weights or working out in the traditional sense. Of course, I got exercise when I walked around and took pictures as well as all the things I did around my house as I remodeled it. But that hadn’t exactly provided me with a large amount of muscles.

  “I’m never going to be able to shoot this thing,” I said out of frustration.

  “Trust me, at the moment you need to shoot this thing you will know how to shoot it.” He grabbed the gun from me, put the safety on it, and sat it on the table. Then he pulled me to him and let his lips crush down onto mine. He felt like home. When his arms wrapped around me, it felt like exactly where I was supposed to be
.

  I hesitated to even think it, but I felt more comfortable with Chris than I ever had with Michael. Perhaps it was because I was older and more comfortable with myself. Or maybe we were just a better fit, but for whatever reason; I really felt like myself when I was around Chris. I felt like I could be the best person I wanted to be and he would be right there beside me.

  It wasn’t just the strength of his arms and his muscles that made me feel safe, it was him. It was Chris and the way he totally and utterly devoted himself to me when I was there with him. He wanted me to feel safe; he wanted me to feel like I could handle being left alone for a couple days. I could tell that he care about me and genuinely wanted me to be safe. That feeling was intense and drew me closer to him.

  Our mouths continued to play as we explored the depths of each other. His strong hands moved lightly up and down my body and sent shivers of delight throughout my skin. God, it felt so good to have his hands on my body. His fingers moved under my shirt and I wiggled with delight as they touched my bare back. They moved up and down my back and he pulled me in close to him. The intensity of his touch made me weak in the knees. Even after being together for several weeks, his touch was still so intense that I got wet right away. I wanted him, I always wanted him. Even when I was angry with him, I wanted him. There was no way around it.

  I let my own hands move under his shirt and felt the goose bumps on his back. It made me happy to see that my touch also affected him the way his affected me. He was a quiet man and kept his feelings to himself, but his body reaction was always something he couldn’t control when he was around me. I liked that. I liked being able to see his body react to my body. It was so inspiring. When his body reacted to mine, it made me want more. I wanted to see what else I could do to his body.