Believe

by Victoria Alexander

  She stepped toward him and poked her finger at his chest. “And furthermore, get that “women are inferior” garbage out of your mind right now. First—I’m not stupid. I have advanced degrees and a fair amount of respect in my field. Secondly, when it comes to country, I’m as loyal and patriotic as the next person. I always get choked up at The Star-Spangled Banner.” A jab of her finger accompanied each point. Galahad stared down at her. By the saints the woman was impressive in her fury. “Beyond that, I’m honest to a fault and I’ve never, ever broken my promise.

  “And as for courage,” she glared up at him, “when I was a kid, a tornado passed right over my house. I was terrified. Even so, that was nothing compared to how scared I’ve been by what’s happened to me in the last few days and what’s coming up. But I’m not crying my eyes out or cowering in a corner or—”

  “’Tis not enough to say you are not daunted by what you have yet to face.” He caught her hand against his chest. “You do not understand. You have never called upon the courage of which you speak. You have not yet been put to the test. Women are weak, Tessa. They—”

  She tried to pull her hand away but he held it fast.

  “I don’t—”

  “If you were a man, if you were a knight, your fortitude would have long since been tried and ’twould be no doubt as to your na—”

  “Then test me.” Challenge glittered in her eye. “Test me right here and now.”

  “Test you?” He released her with a scornful laugh. “Test a woman?”

  “Exactly.” She strode across the floor, determination in every footfall, then whirled and shook a finger at him. “You name it. Whatever kind of test you want. Sword fight, maybe?”

  “Do not be absurd. I would never raise a sword against a woman even in jest. You are far too small.” In two swift strides, he stood before her and grasped her hands in his, turning them palms up. “Your hands are too delicate to wield such a weapon. You could scarce lift it off the ground.”

  “No swords then.” She jutted her chin out in a stubborn manner, his anger fading in the face of her resolve. She pulled her hands from his and for a moment, loss swept through him. “What about a joust?”

  He shook his head, amusement abruptly replacing his irritation. Whatever else, her spirit could not be questioned. “A lance too is a heavy burden for many men let alone a woman. ’Twould be unfair to give you such a test. Besides,” he could not resist a grin, “jousting is upon horseback.”

  She paled slightly, confirming the obvious: the lady knew naught of horses. Still, ’twas no retreat in her eye. “Then you think of something.”

  Was this the answer he sought? The way to keep her from harm? Would she not be safer if she were in the position of squire? ’Twas no doubt otherwise she would be at his side and in harm’s way. “And if you fail my test?”

  “You and I both know, whether we like it or not, I’m along for the ride. But if I can’t pass your test,” she hesitated then drew a deep breath, “I’ll do what you want. I’ll take care of the meals and,” she shuddered, “the horses.”

  “Agreed then.” He grinned. “I shall pre—”

  “Wait a minute. I have no intentions of flunking this little quiz.”

  “Very well.” He could not keep the tolerant tone from his voice. “What prize do you claim should you win?”

  “When I win.” A sly smile lifted the corners of her mouth. “You have to treat me like one of the guys. You know, like just another knight.”

  “But you are—”

  “Except for the physical stuff,” she said quickly. “I know I don’t have your strength or your power but I am fairly well coordinated and relatively agile—”

  “Sister Abigail,” he murmured.

  She nodded. “She taught gym too. But beyond that—I’m smart.”

  “Indeed.” In his anger over her intrusion in his plans he’d forgotten how clever she really was. ’Twas was one of the attributes he found most intriguing about her.

  “I’m not about to do anything that will get us killed but you’re going to have to learn to trust me.”

  “Trust?” He stared at the earnest expression on her face. “And do you trust me?”

  “Sure,” she said as if she were not certain she spoke the truth. “I trust you.”

  “With your life?”

  She paused then squared her shoulders and looked up at him. “With my life.”

  At once he knew what to do. “I had planned to leave on the morrow at daybreak. ’Twill be the time then to put you to a test of my devising. Succeed or fail, we leave when the matter is concluded.”

  She met his gaze with a steady, unflinching stare. “Let’s go for it.”

  He looked down at her for a long moment. ’Twas not necessary to put her to any trial. That she was willing to submit to such a test was proof enough of her fortitude. Was it this aspect of her nature that called to him? That nudged at his heart and kept her always at the edge of his mind? He’d not known another woman like her. ’Twould be so easy to take her into his arms and his bed. As his woman. And perhaps as his equal as well. He vowed silently to do all in his power to keep her from harm and prayed he would not have to choose between her life and the pursuit of the Grail.

  He stared into eyes deep and dark and timeless and realized he was no longer certain what that choice would be.

  “Tomorrow then, Tessa.” Galahad reached out and cupped her chin in his hand. “And remember, my lady, courage is not of the body but of the spirit.”

  “I’m gonna die. I know it. I’m dead meat.” Tessa paced across her room shaking her hands in front of her. She threw her head back and yelled. “Merlin!”

  Oriana perched on the edge of the bed. “’Tis not the way to call a wizard, my lady.”

  “Well, if he had a cell phone this wouldn’t be necessary.” She continued to stride back and forth across the room, Oriana’s gaze following like a fan at a tennis match. “I can’t believe what he’s gotten me into. This is it. I’m doomed before this damn quest even starts.”

  “Doomed?”

  “Galahad is going to kill me.”

  Amusement colored Oriana’s face. “You jest, my lady. Galahad would not take your life.”

  “Oh, not directly. It will be an accident. A horrible, horrible accident. Tragic but unavoidable. I might even not die. Sure. That’s his strategy. He wants me injured. Just enough to keep me here when he rides off into the sunset.” She pivoted and leveled an anxious gaze at the teen. “You should have seen him at dinner when Merlin and the king told him I was going with him. He was furious.”

  “I did indeed see him but at a distance.” Oriana frowned thoughtfully. “I did not note a display of temper.”

  “You had to be close to see it. Believe me, he was one big, angry knight.” She resumed her pacing. “And I can tell he’s still mad. He’s covering it up, trying to be all charming and considerate. Pretending to be worried about my safety. But he can’t fool me. There’s no way he wants to drag me along on this little trip. That’s why he’s come up with this ‘test’ nonsense.”

  “But did you not say the test was your idea?”

  “Hah! That just goes to show you how clever he is.”

  Oriana raised a skeptical brow. “Surely you do not truly believe Sir Galahad means to do you harm?”

  Tessa stopped and stared at the girl. Was it only this morning he’d kissed her senseless and she’d kissed him right back?

  “Do you, my lady?”

  “No.” Tessa groaned and collapsed on the bed. She stared up at the wooden ceiling high above them. “Of course not. It’s just the panic talking. Sheer, unadulterated fear. Besides, Galahad’s probably too good and noble for something like that.” She glanced at Oriana. “He is good and noble, isn’t he?”

  “’Tis no finer man.”

  “That’s what I figured.”

  “And you are to accompany him.” Oriana sighed with obvious envy.

  “You say that like
I just got a hot date for the senior prom.”

  Confusion crossed the girl’s face.

  It was Tessa’s turn to sigh. Merlin could have made this a lot easier by providing them all with some kind of instant translator. On the other hand, she could probably watch her words a little closer. And maybe, just maybe it was time to start putting some legitimate effort into functioning in the Middle Ages.

  “Sorry, sweetie. How about…an invitation to dance?”

  The teen’s expression brightened. “’Tis much better than a mere dance. You and he shall be together for months, perhaps years.”

  “Years?” A queasy feeling settled in the pit of her stomach. “You’re kidding.”

  “’Tis true, my lady,” Oriana said eagerly. “Quests have been known to last for years and years.”

  “Years and years, huh?”

  “’Tis impossible to predict how long such a venture can take.” Oriana studied her curiously. “Did you know you and he are the talk of the castle? ’Tis most unusual for a knight to be accompanied on a quest by a lady. I know not of it happening before.”

  “That’s me.” Tessa rolled on her side and propped her head in her hand. “I’m a pioneer.”

  “Pioneer?”

  “Sorry. A trailblazer? An explorer? Um…the first to do something?”

  “Indeed.” The girl hesitated. “Still, ’tis not a thing most females would wish for.”

  “Tell me about it. It wasn’t my first choice either but I guess I’m stuck with it.”

  Oriana frowned. “You do not wish this?”

  “No, I don’t wish this. Not even a little. But it’s the only way I can get Merlin to send me back home.”

  “Where is ‘home’?”

  “Home?” The well-manicured university campus came to mind and her small but pleasant apartment, followed by images of the Victorian house she’d grown up in, nestled in an older neighborhood in a nice all-American Midwestern city. And beyond that, thoughts of laptops and microwaves and flush toilets and every convenience she’d ever taken for granted crowded her thoughts. Along with Christmas trees and Christmas lights and Christmas carols sung in the cold under a starry December sky. “Home is very, very far away.”

  “Do you miss it?”

  At once her mother’s laughter at one of her father’s bad jokes rang in her ears and brought a rush of longing so strong she struggled against the tears that sprang to her eyes. “I miss it a lot.” She sniffed. “You have no idea.”

  Oriana stretched out beside her. “Tell me of your home.”

  Tessa laughed softly. “I wouldn’t know where to begin.”

  “’Tis said,” the teenager traced an invisible pattern on the coverlet, “you come from a place where there is much magic. ’Tis why Merlin brought you to assist Sir Galahad.” Her inquisitive gaze met Tessa’s. “Is it not the truth?”

  “The truth?” Digital watches and cars and lights at the touch of a finger. She chose her words carefully. “I imagine anything that you don’t quite understand could be attributed to magic. In that respect, I suppose someone from Camelot would think there was a lot of magic in my world.”

  “Will you need your magic on this journey? To find the Grail?”

  “I’ll need something all right but my magic is in short supply. Nonexistent actually. Merlin did offer to teach me a really neat trick…” She shook her head. “I suppose magic, anybody’s magic, wouldn’t hurt. I think we’ll need all the help we can get.”

  “Magic would indeed help.”

  Tessa considered the idea for a moment. “I’ve never believed in magic before now, you know. I don’t believe in anything until it’s actually been proved to me. I didn’t think Galahad or Arthur or any of this stuff was real until I came here.”

  Disbelief shone in Oriana’s eyes. “’Tis indeed a strange land you come from not to have heard of Arthur, King of all the Britons.”

  “Oh, I’d heard of him, I just didn’t believe in him.”

  “’Twas faith you lacked then,” the teen said with a wisdom far beyond her years. “Everyone must have faith. In God and in the king and in man and in yourself. And,” her eyes twinkled, “in love.”

  Tessa laughed. “Why are you bringing up love?”

  Oriana shrugged in an offhand manner. “No reason, my lady.”

  “No, come on, tell me.”

  Oriana narrowed her eyes and studied Tessa for a long moment. “I told you once, my lady, that I believed Galahad harbored feelings for you. Feelings he does not understand as of yet. Do you not wonder at his desire to keep you from harm?”

  “He’s just afraid I’ll cramp his style. I mean, I’ll get in his way,” she said quickly.

  “I believe that is not all.” A smug smile quirked the teenager’s lips. “And I believe you suspect the same.”

  Tessa bit back a sharp denial, remembering the look in Galahad’s eyes this morning when they’d kissed. Hadn’t she wondered then if his feelings mirrored her own? If he felt the same connection with her that she did with him? A connection so deep it wouldn’t take much more than a tiny spark to explode into emotions too overwhelming to even consider? Or handle?

  “I would not worry about whatever trial the good knight plans for you.” Oriana slid off the bed and started toward the door. “He will not allow you to come to any harm.”

  “From your lips…” Tessa muttered.

  “I would instead fear the damage not to your body but to your heart.”

  “My heart?”

  “Lack of faith is as blinding as a hood pulled over the eyes.” Oriana shook her head. “You are as stubborn as your knight.”

  “He’s not my knight.”

  “Is he not?”

  “No.” Tessa ignored the abrupt realization that she very much wanted him to be her knight and hers alone. Her white knight. Her savior. Her hero. But what she wanted didn’t make any difference, not really. Nothing could come of it. Their worlds were too different and she was headed back to hers as soon as this Grail stuff was over. Besides, there was no way she could compete with the oh-so-perfect Dindrane. He’d adored his dead wife. Tessa simply drove him nuts. “He’s not my knight and he never will be.”

  “As you say.” Oriana pulled open the door and stepped over the threshold.

  “Oriana.” The teen turned back. “I just wanted to thank you. For being my friend.” Tessa stepped toward her. “We probably won’t see each other again.”

  “I shall miss you, my lady. You are unlike anyone I have ever known.” An impish smile lit Oriana’s face. “’Tis not so bad to lose Galahad to one such as you.”

  Tessa laughed.

  Oriana grabbed her hand and squeezed. “I wish you God speed.” She started toward the door then stopped and studied Tessa thoughtfully. “But I do wonder, my lady, if there is more here beyond Camelot that you have not believed in.

  “That you may soon discover to be true.”

  Chapter Eleven

  “This has got to be the stupidest thing I’ve ever gotten myself into,” Tessa muttered to herself.

  She pushed open a wooden door and stepped out into the walled courtyard enclosing the castle. A bailey, she thought it was called. Or maybe it would be called a bailey someday. Life was certainly complicated when you didn’t know the basics—where and when you were. Regardless, this was where and when Galahad had said to meet him. It was barely past daybreak, not her favorite time of day in any era although it didn’t really matter. She hadn’t slept a wink all night. Whatever possessed her to agree—no—demand Galahad test her courage? She almost deserved whatever he came up with.

  In spite of the early hour, the area bustled with activity. She’d quickly realized the castle was very much an independent, self-sustaining community with each and every resident playing a supportive role. It would make a fascinating sociological study when she went home. If she lived that long.

  “Merlin,” she whispered with all the force she could muster. Yelling would have been much mo
re satisfying but the last thing she needed was to attract additional attention. She was already the talk of the court. Of course, she could probably scream her head off and not get an answer. Mr. Wizard was apparently leaving her on her own to sink or swim, and to provide him with a little entertainment.

  She wandered through the bailey noting the details of everyday life and filing them away for future reference. It was an old study trick and, right now, served to get her mind off her upcoming test and the quest to follow. She’d been rather surprised to realize how much she already knew about the Middle Ages. Oh, she was nowhere near an expert but in spite of her general dislike of the period, she’d picked up a remarkable bit of information through the years, thanks to the osmosis that occurs naturally in the halls of academia and a lifetime of education. Too bad she hadn’t paid more attention. Who knew she’d actually need it some day?

  The clothes alone would give her a good idea of the date if she’d studied costume at all. Sure, she’d read somewhere that chain mail predated armor but she had no idea of the specific timeline. Besides, she hadn’t seen Galahad or anyone in any kind of battle gear yet. All the men she’d met were wearing tunics and tights, or rather, leggings. As for the women, the dresses were simple, long and flowing and not unattractive. Except for the ugly colors that seemed to be assigned exclusively to her clothes. All she really knew from her own wardrobe was this was a time before zippers and legitimate underwear.

  She searched the growing crowd for a sign of Galahad. Was he late or was this a reprieve? Had Merlin helped her out after all and waylaid the Big Guy? She sighed. Probably not. That would spoil the wizard’s fun. The sadist. She’d bet the Grail itself Merlin was having a good laugh right about now.

  Tessa surveyed the colorful scene. Exactly where did all this fit into recorded history? And how on earth had Merlin managed to hide it so thoroughly? Surely, memories of those who lived here would be passed down in families from father to son, mother to daughter until…Tessa smiled wryly. Wasn’t that how legends started anyway? And a little selective magic strategically placed to wipe out a bit of physical evidence here, change a too-accurate story there, erase the memories of an individual or an entire family, and Arthur and Camelot would be nothing more than a fairy tale. She had to admit—Merlin did one hell of a job.