Equal Time Point

by Harrison Jones

  Robby and Tony laughed.

  Charlie sat down and picked up the phone on the table.

  “I’m going to talk to dispatch and meteorology while you guys work on the plotting chart for the North Atlantic, then we’ll go over to the flight attendant briefing room and impress our traveling companions.”

  The flight attendant briefing room was now crowded with the chattering Madrid crew. Britt Fowler was waiting for the last girl to show up before beginning her briefing. She continued revising her manual. She listened to all the gossip and giggling and felt like a hostess at someone’s fortieth high school reunion. The youngest person in the room besides herself must be on the far side of mid-fifties. The politically correct description would be experienced. Most of the senior flight attendants were nice enough, but Britt knew that they would ignore her leadership position and do as they pleased if she allowed it. The Fowlers were an old Atlanta family, and Britt had grown up enjoying the gentle ways and courteous manner of southern tradition. However, she knew how to deal with people who had experienced the misfortune of being born in less civilized parts of the country or the world, for that matter.

  Britt looked at the crew list to see who the missing person could be and saw that it was Bertie Martin. Bertie had been with the airline for well over thirty years and for the last twenty, since the government had forced the demise of weight restrictions in employment, she had been known as Big Bertha, for obvious and apparent reasons. Britt looked around the room and wondered why some of the other women were not known as Big Alice and Big Mary. The diversity and individuality of the flight attendants was something that Britt enjoyed, but she sometimes wondered if age and physical abilities would affect performance in an emergency. She picked up the phone and was about to dial crew scheduling when the room darkened. She looked up to see the door filled with Big Bertha, gasping for breath.

  Britt smiled sweetly and said, “Miss Martin, how happy we are that you have graced us with your presence.”

  “I signed in on time, Britt, and you’re going to be glad that I stayed in the lounge and heard some news.”

  “Well, please don’t keep us in suspense. Whatever could the headline be, and how will it affect us as human beings and servants of Tri Con?”

  “Don’t be a smarty pants, Britt.” She began to catch her breath. “Ladies, check your shoes for scuff marks and your pantyhose for runs. Mama Molly is on our flight tonight.”

  Alice Elon asked, “Molly Jackson is on our flight?”

  “Miss manager of in-flight in the flesh, and she’s traveling with that twerp Allen Smallwood, the guy who took away lead pay and furloughed all the junior flight attendants.”

  Mary Dobson asked, “Isn’t he married? Are they having an affair?”

  Shelia Graham said, “Who cares? Let’s tell it as the truth and see if the rumor beats us to Spain.”

  Laughter erupted, but no one discounted the idea.

  Nancy Hammond remarked, “That guy has got to be a cheapskate. Since they fly free, this is probably his idea of dinner and a movie.”

  Nancy was well known for her sarcasm and irreverent sense of humor.

  Everyone wanted to get in on the fun, and Pam Arnold, Nancy’s best friend and partner in mischief, said, “Well, it must be working; they’re spending the night together.”

  Candace Whitten, who usually had very little to say, added, “It will make a long night for all of us.”

  Britt looked through the papers on the table and found the passenger list.

  “Well, look at this, the lovely couple is seated at 4A and 4B in business class. Do I have volunteers to serve in business tonight?”

  Silence. Everyone looked down at the table or at the floor.

  Britt said, “I, of course, have to work up front, and I’m sure Nancy and Pam will make us all proud as they assist me in serving our vocational mentors. In fact, they will probably be so impressed, the lead pay and furloughed flight attendants will be reinstated to their original glory before we are halfway across the Atlantic. The rest of you cowards can slink away to the rear cabin and serve the common masses.”

  Pam said, “Come on, Britt, I think I’m coming down with something. I don’t feel like dancing for these bozos tonight.”

  “Pam, I’ve always admired your social grace and your wonderful ability to portray the unique Tri Con image. I’m sure you’ll represent the entire seniority list in the most sterling and exemplary manner.”

  “Bull, like crap you do.”

  “Be a sport, Pam. You can have first break right after the evening meal service. Now here are the players, ladies. We have one hundred ninety-five paying passengers plus the lovely couple in 4A and 4B. We have one unaccompanied minor, a ten-year-old girl seated in the mid-section. Bertie, I want you to meet her in the gatehouse, take her to her seat, and then be responsible for her. In addition, we have twenty-one assist on and assist off.”

  Nancy said, “Twenty-one! Was there a disaster I didn’t hear about, or did they empty a nursing home?”

  “I don’t know, but I want to start boarding them early. We don’t get paid until the door closes, so keep the aisles clear while they carry these people in and strap them down.”

  Nancy said, “You can bet at least one of them is going to pee in his seat before the night is over.”

  “Probably. Keep the aerosol air freshener handy. They’re all seated back there with you cowards, so enjoy.”

  Pam said, “Hey, serving the prima donna management aristocrats might not be so bad after all.”

  “Speak for yourself, Pam,” Nancy said.

  There was a knock at the door, and Alice reached over from her seat and opened it to see the three pilots standing there.

  Britt said, “Good evening captain, welcome to the party.”

  Charlie said, “This is a motley crew if I ever saw one.” He had flown with most of the girls before.

  Britt stood up and offered her hand.

  “I’m Britt Fowler, I’m the lead tonight.”

  “Nice to meet you, Britt, I’m Charlie Wells. At what point do you think you lost control of your crew?”

  “I’m not sure they’re controllable, I just try to keep them from hurting themselves.”

  They laughed, and Charlie introduced Robby and Tony. He and Britt exchanged a written list of names for their respective crew.

  Charlie addressed the group. “I won’t take a lot of your time but I want to give you some information about the flight. I spoke with the security coordinator a few minutes ago, and he is not aware of any problems beyond the ongoing awareness levels that we’re all accustomed to. If you think something is suspicious, by all means let us know right away.

  “The flying time tonight is eight hours and eleven minutes, and if that changes significantly we’ll let you know. There is a possibility of holding at Madrid, and we’ll keep you up-to-date on that as we get the weather reports en route. Looks like a decent ride tonight, maybe some brief bumps about two to three hours after takeoff as we fly around some thunderstorms, but I think we can avoid most of that. Britt, will you be done with the meal service by then?”

  “I think we will. We only have 197 passengers booked, and we’ll begin the service early so people can sleep if they choose.”

  “Good deal. The weather in Madrid is forecasted to be wet in the morning and then clearing in the afternoon, so it should be good for sleeping and shopping. Ladies, you’re always welcome in the cockpit if you want to get away from the crowd, and we appreciate you checking on us to see if we’re still awake. Let us know if we can be of assistance.”

  Britt said, “Thank you, Charlie. I’ll keep the food and coffee coming all night, and I’ll be working in business class if you need anything.”

  “Thank you. The airplane is at the gate, and I don’t know of anything that might delay us, so we’ll see you up there in a few minutes.”

  As Charlie turned to leave, he almost ran into Molly Jackson.

  “Hello, Cha
rlie. Are you flying me to Madrid tonight?”

  “Well, if it isn’t the famous Ms. Jackson. Did you decide to come down from the ivory tower and earn an honest living?”

  The girls in the room liked that a lot.

  “I wish. Unfortunately, I’m traveling on business. I just came down to introduce myself, so these ladies wouldn’t think I was spying on them. I always hated it when a supervisor showed up on my flight unannounced. It always made me want to go into the bathroom and see if my pantyhose had a run or some other grievous infraction.”

  Britt smiled and covered her mouth to keep from laughing. She was impressed with the tall redhead and her impeccable appearance.

  Charlie said, “It’s great to see you, Molly. I hope we get a chance to visit. If you get bored back there, have Britt bring you up to see us.”

  “I’ll take you up on that.”

  Molly stepped into the room and said, “You must be Britt Fowler. I’m Molly.”

  “Nice to meet you, Molly. We’ve just finished our briefing and were about to head up to the gate.”

  “Well, I’m glad I caught you before you left. I just wanted to let you know that this is not a check ride. I know your job is hard enough without tiptoeing around some self-righteous pencil pusher. In fact, if you’re shorthanded, let me know. I can spill drinks with the best of them.”

  “Thank you very much. I won’t hesitate.”

  “I’ll get out of the way and let you work, Britt. Nice to meet you.”

  Molly smiled at the other girls and left.

  Nancy said, “All right, hold the rumor. She’s much too nice to be socializing with someone with a cost fetish.”

  They began gathering bags, purses, and paperwork, then lined up at the restroom before going to the airplane.

  Chapter Seven

  The three pilots walked through the jet way, with their rolling bags rumbling in harmony. As they walked into the airplane, Robby turned to Tony and said, “The first thing you have to remember is enter the airplane and turn left.”

  Tony chuckled.

  “Yeah, that’s the same as the domestic flights I’ve been flying for five years. At least I’ll get one thing right.”

  They walked through the business class section, and Charlie said, “The second thing we have to do is get some air conditioning going. It’s hot in here.”

  “I’ll take care of it, Charlie. That will be the first flight attendant complaint of the night,” Robby replied.

  They approached the cockpit and began the familiar routine. The copilots waited outside and allowed the captain to enter the cramped space alone to stow his bags and build his nest. Charlie would never actually admit how much he loved his workplace. The electronic hum and unique smell of the flight deck somehow provided an inner peace, and the practiced routines that efficiently accomplished every task gave him a feeling of satisfaction that would be hard to describe. The competitive humor and sarcasm of flight crews that relieved the boredom and sometimes tension, created a camaraderie that an outsider would never understand. He placed his brain bag in its slot to the left of his seat and then stretched a moment before assuming his place for the next ten hours. When he was comfortable, he automatically began flipping switches.

  As soon as Charlie was in his seat, Robby began the same ritual on the right side of the cockpit. When Robby was situated, Tony stowed his gear and then asked, “You guys need anything before I go outside to count the wings and engines?”

  “Make sure they’re flying in tight formation,” Charlie answered.

  There were fifty-three items on the cockpit preliminary checklist. Charlie and Robby would do them from memory, then read the checklist later to confirm everything was accomplished. They both checked their oxygen masks for pressure and flow. Charlie checked to see that the parking brake was released and flipped the seat belt sign on. Then he began loading the flight plan into the flight management computer. Robby started the auxiliary power unit in order to begin cooling the airplane. The APU was actually a small jet engine located in the tail that provided electricity and pneumatic pressure for air conditioning and engine start. Soon cool air was flowing and the creature comforts were improving.

  There were as many items on the exterior walk around check as in the cockpit. Tony slowly made his way around the airplane looking for anything unusual or out of place. He checked the landing gear, wheel wells, engines, and all the flight controls. When he got back to the cockpit, Charlie asked, “Does it look airworthy, Tony?”

  “Yes, sir, the only thing I need to check is the center access compartment door. I’m not sure it’s closed all the way.”

  Robby checked the door alerts and said, “You’re right the light is on.”

  Tony asked, “Can I borrow one of the radios?”

  “Take your choice,” Charlie said.

  Tony dialed a frequency into the radio and transmitted, “Maintenance, Eleven.”

  “Go ahead, Eleven.”

  “Evening guys, we need someone to check our center access compartment door. We’re showing a light on it.”

  “No problem, sir, I’ll get somebody out there with a ladder to check it out for you.”

  Charlie said, “Thank you, Tony. Good catch. Did the girls show up yet?”

  “Yeah, Big Bertha asked if we could cool it down back there.”

  “Why didn’t we think of that?”

  Britt stowed her bag, went into the center galley, and began checking supplies. She counted the meals in the racks, then picked up the phone and called the aft galley.

  Alice answered, “Thanks for calling Tri Con, how may I direct your call?”

  “Cute, Alice. I’m ten meals short up here. Did they load them back there?”

  “No, we actually have a few extras, though.”

  “I don’t think my business class people want to eat the garbage you serve back there. Do you need anything?”

  “We could use some garbage bags and another case of bottled water.”

  “I’ll work on it. I’m going to start boarding in about five minutes. Send me somebody to help.”

  “Okay, thanks, Britt.”

  Britt went to the cockpit.

  “Could one of you guys call operations and tell them we need ten business meals, some garbage bags, and two cases of bottled water?”

  Charlie said, “We’ve got you covered, Britt.”

  “Can I get you guys anything before we get busy?”

  They all ordered beverages.

  Britt went into the jet way, picked up the phone, and called the gate.

  “We’re ready. Send them.”

  The gate agent picked up the PA microphone.

  “Ladies and gentlemen, we will begin general boarding for Tri Con Flight Eleven in just a few minutes. At this time, we will pre-board those passengers needing special assistance. Please have your boarding card available as you approach the doorway. Once again, we are only boarding passengers who need special assistance at this time.”

  At least thirty people stood up and clogged the boarding area, then had to be moved to allow the twenty-one wheelchairs to pass into the jet way. The eighteen from the ticket counter had been joined by three more from connecting flights.

  Molly Jackson sat in the gate area facing the window. She could see Charlie and Robby in their white shirts with the gold epaulets on the shoulders as they performed their chores in the cockpit. Her secretary had just informed her, via cell phone, that everything was under control. She also requested a souvenir from Spain. Molly wondered where Allen Smallwood could be and hoped he didn’t show up. Unfortunately, she saw him strolling down the concourse in his Armani suit and carrying a hang-up bag over his shoulder. She considered trying to sneak away, but he saw her and waved. He sat down beside her and said, “Molly, we have got to improve our efficiency at the ticket counter. The process consumes entirely too much time.”

  She somehow knew that he would never mention the broken kiosks or the fact that he had implemented th
e process.

  She said, “That’s not my area of expertise, Allen, but perhaps a focus group could offer suggestions.”

  “I think that might be productive. Would you be willing to participate?”

  “My plate is pretty full, but you could probably recruit some of the ticket agents to serve.”

  “Hmm. Is the flight on time?”

  She looked at her watch. “I’ll have to get back to you in about forty minutes.”

  He looked puzzled and then smiled.

  “I see your point.”

  Molly saw Bertie Martin come out of the jet way and approach the agent. They walked over to where a middle-aged couple sat with a little girl. Bertie sat down and talked to the little girl for a few minutes, then they stood up and the parents each hugged the little girl. Bertie pinned a round metal emblem onto the girl’s shirt to identify her as an unaccompanied minor, and they held hands and chatted away as they went down the jet way. The little girl had her backpack on her shoulders and carried a teddy bear in her other hand.

  Britt saw the wheelchairs line up in the jet way. She watched as the agents transferred each passenger to a special narrow chair with wheels that could be rolled down the aisle of the cabin. As each passenger was transferred, a tag was applied to his wheelchair, and then a bag smasher folded the chair and took it outside to be loaded in the cargo bins. The process seemed to develop a rhythm of its own, and the agents were soon doing two at a time. She did not envy their task because some of the handicapped passengers must weigh well over two hundred pounds. Eventually, however, all twenty-one of them were strapped into their seats at the rear of the cabin. Next, Big Bertha brought the unaccompanied minor in and gave Britt the special paperwork indicating her seat number and who would be authorized to take custody of her in Madrid.

  When general boarding began, the business class passengers appeared first, and Britt greeted each one at the door and directed them to their seat. Nancy and Pat helped them stow their carry-on bags and took beverage orders. They also took their jackets and hang-up bags to the coat closet at the front of the cabin. The parade continued as the tourist class passengers boarded. Britt looked at her watch and concluded that she would have the cabin prepared for an on-time departure at six o’clock. She went to the public address panel and pushed the proper buttons to start the prerecorded “welcome aboard” announcement, which included the rules for carry-on items. At the conclusion, it repeated the same announcement in Spanish.