Sweet Southern Bad Boy

by Michele Summers

  “I agree. It’s weird. But truthfully, even if everyone had heard the tale, there’s no way the truth wouldn’t be exaggerated and distorted. I wouldn’t trust what I heard.” A sly smile tilted Bertie’s full lips. “I bet you could get Vance to talk.”

  A loud snort escaped her lips. “Hardly.” Grope, yes. Kiss, most definitely, but not talk.

  “From my vantage point Saturday night, all you have to do is crook your finger, and Vance will come crawling with his tail wagging and his tongue hanging out.”

  “Clearly, you’re delusional. I’m the one with the tongue hanging out, chasing after those kids.”

  “Trust me. Vance is not only interested, but he’s got it bad. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have been so angry when Brogan brought up all his past girlfriends, or whatever.” Bertie flipped a hank of hair over her shoulder. “If you’d been one of those floozies sitting there, he wouldn’t have given two door knockers over conversation about his love life.”

  Instead of feeling elated, Katie’s breakfast weighed heavily in her stomach. She felt the same connection to Vance, but what difference did it make? They were from two different worlds. And she needed to get back to hers and continue to live according to her parents’ edicts or make a clean break…forever. Easier said than done, people. Weak and wimpy didn’t begin to describe her inner turmoil. When the patriarch of the family was domineering, demanding, and belittling your entire life—unknowingly, of course—you acquired things like twitches and huge vats of doubt that you carried daily.

  Walter McKnight had no idea his delivery was tough. Katie never doubted his love for her, but his expectations were too high. And trying to reach them, well, Katie found it to be…exhausting.

  “If you won’t use your influence with Vance to get the story, maybe you should try the general. He’s really taken with you.”

  Fiddling with her napkin, Katie said, “Oh, I don’t believe—”

  “You’ve struck a chord with the general. He barely engages with anyone in town, and today he actually sat and ate breakfast with us. That’s progress, and I think you had a hand in it.”

  “He’s really very nice. I’m sure if anyone took the time to visit with him, they’d get the same results.”

  Bertie shook her head. “You’ve managed to do what the people of Harmony haven’t been able to do for years.” Bertie stopped speaking and gave Katie a dicey look.

  “I’m almost afraid to ask,” Katie said warily.

  “You’ve managed to snag the elusive but oh-so-dreamy Vance Kerner, and you’ve encouraged the general out of his hardened shell.”

  Flattered, she laughed nervously. “Don’t be silly. I haven’t snagged anything in my life except a fingernail, and the general came out of his shell on his own.”

  “We’ll see.” Bertie leaned back, folding her arms across her emerald-green knit top. “Tell me, were you getting a weird vibe between Dottie and the general?”

  “Like running for cover from incoming missiles? That kind of vibe?”

  Bertie’s shiny mahogany hair bounced as she shook her head. “There was an undercurrent not based on their dislike for each other. Quite the opposite, if you ask me.”

  “You think they’re…attracted to each other?”

  “There have been weirder couplings around here—”

  “Bert, what are you gossiping about?” A good-looking guy with an apron tied around his waist started gathering their dirty dishes. “Don’t you have a family to take care of? Dogs to walk? Walls to paper?”

  “Bite me,” Bertie snapped. “Katie, meet my brother, Cal. One of the weird couplings I’m referring to. Cal happens to be married to my least favorite person from high school. Liza Palmer and I are now frenemies, aren’t we, my sweet bro?”

  “You’re so nutty,” Cal said to Bertie. “Nice to meet you, Katie from California. Word travels fast.” A killer smile flashed, and Katie wondered how so many good-looking men ended up in this small town. “Liza’s home taking care of Allison, your adorable niece and goddaughter. You might want to stop by and keep her company.”

  Alert, Bertie shot forward in her seat. “What’s wrong with Allison?”

  “Just a cold and cough. Liza didn’t want to send her to preschool.”

  “My poor baby. Okay, I’m off.” Bertie reached for her handbag. Katie scrambled from the booth, chasing after Bertie.

  “Cal, it was nice meeting you,” Katie called over her shoulder. Cal nodded and hoisted the tray of stacked dishes.

  Outside, Katie said to Bertie, “Thanks for breakfast. Can you point me in the direction of the nearest grocery store?” She needed to stock up for the week. An empty box of Cap’n Crunch had almost caused a toddler revolution this morning.

  “If you want healthy, hit BetterBites right down Main Street. For everything else, Piggly Wiggly is a little farther out toward the highway.”

  “Got it.”

  Patting Katie’s arm, Bertie said, “I’ll call you later… I think I’m on the verge of being brilliant,” she said with a gleam in her bright green eyes.

  “What?”

  “Let me mull it over first. Then I’ll fill you in.”

  “You’ve piqued my curiosity. Am I involved?” Katie gave a nervous chuckle.

  “Only if you’re a romantic at heart.” Bertie waved and disappeared inside her car.

  Chapter 10

  Vance checked his word count for the umpteenth time in the last hour, scowling at the stagnant number on his computer screen. He shuffled the stacks of notes on top of his desk and muted the war video playing on the DVD. He’d been up since five a.m., having slept only four hours the night before. Even with two days of quiet and uninterrupted writing time, he’d barely managed to finish six scenes. This time he couldn’t blame the kids.

  He blamed Katie.

  Sweet, sumptuous, voluptuous Katie. His Achilles’ heel. Why now? Ever since she’d stood inside his kitchen with her fresh face and wide eyes, he’d felt like a damned fool. He considered himself normal and intelligent, but since Saturday, all he could think of was Katie and her bright smile and pretty widow’s peak, and he felt like a complete moron.

  He’d tried hiring a starchy nanny with tight bun and hawk nose to help with the three whirling dervishes. Someone he could easily ignore, but he ended up with a California cupcake who scrambled his brains and had him thinking about sleeping arrangements. Not war strategies and hidden explosives. If he had an ounce of sense, he’d escort her finely shaped ass out his door and into her classic Mercedes. Old Mrs. Cornwaddle with her walker would have been a better babysitter for his peace of mind. Hell, Colonel, their half-blind retriever, would have been a better babysitter. If he was smart, he’d say the hell with turning his books into movies and send Katie back to the land of fruit and nuts. But he knew, like he knew his own autograph, he wouldn’t be sending her away. Because he was hooked…captivated. Not exactly sure why now or why her, but the minute those contracts got shoved under his nose, he’d sign whatever she wanted. Anything to make her happy. And didn’t that suck green donkey balls?

  He glanced at the computer clock…9:15 a.m. Katie had left around eight to drop off the kids and then texted him to say she’d be having breakfast with Bertie. Vance gritted his teeth, knowing Bertie would be filling her head with more stories about his sordid sexual past. Nothing about his past cast him in a good light. Sure, he’d sowed his wild oats like any red-blooded, healthy male. Right? Right. He’d probably sowed more than most…a lot more, but for the last three months, he hadn’t been “sowing” anything, unless you counted buttons on Dana Sue’s overalls.

  He set his mouth in a tight line and stared at the dreck he’d spent the last two hours writing. As he highlighted three passages for deletion, his phone buzzed.

  “Yeah,” he growled at his agent on the other line.

  “You know I wouldn’t distu
rb you unless it’s very important. You sitting down?”

  “All day and into the night.” Maybe getting off his butt and shooting some hoops would open the door to his creative juices.

  “Our agents are brokering a deal with Walter McKnight. He’s in for all three books.”

  Vance scrubbed his hand across his unshaven face. “How much of my soul do I have to sell?”

  “Spoken like a true tortured writer. No wow or fantastic or thank you, Mike, you’re a fucking genius.”

  “Thank you, Mike, you’re a fucking genius.”

  “You wait. You’ll be thanking me and calling me the greatest literary agent ever to walk God’s green earth.”

  “I say that already. Didn’t I dedicate my last book to you? It was so touching you said it brought tears to your eyes.”

  “Wrong. I said the money I’ll be making off your sales brought tears to my eyes.”

  “Same diff. So, what’s next?”

  “Ball’s in his court. We wait. How’s Katie? You making her happy? Because it’s important she stay happy. If Katie’s happy, then Daddy’s happy.” Vance would like to make both Katie and himself happy between the sheets…multiple times.

  Vance leaned back in his chair and fiddled with a notebook on his desk. “She seems happy. Or at least she doesn’t seem unhappy. The kids haven’t pushed her down any wells or locked her in the storage shed…yet. I haven’t signed her damn contract, but that’s only a minor detail at this point.” Because he’d resigned himself to the fact that whatever she wanted, he’d make sure she got.

  “Do whatever it takes to keep her happy until we hear back from Walter’s team, okay?”

  “Yes, Master. Anything else, Master?”

  “Don’t forget you have a book signing this week in Raleigh.” Vance thunked his head against his desktop. “Remind Shannon to email your updated calendar.” Shannon Nichols, Vance’s assistant, helped keep him organized and stayed on top of his social media platforms.

  “Got it,” Vance mumbled into the phone.

  “And…finish that third book.”

  Right.

  * * *

  Around noon, Vance stood and stretched. He’d managed another scene he thought might make the cut. Katie had texted, saying she’d be picking up groceries, then Danny from preschool before heading home.

  Home.

  Vance liked the idea of Katie coming home…to him. Permanently. Crazy thinking. Katie belonged in California with Tad Pole, who probably sat around gnawing on a silver spoon and clipping coupons with all his spare time. Not holed up for days, weeks, months, bleeding the written word. Who’d want to live with a half-deranged writer who drank too much coffee before five in the morning and too much bourbon before noon, who slept very few hours and swore enough to make lifers behind bars cringe?

  Vance chuckled aloud as he filed some research folders away. The story would’ve taken a different turn if Katie had shown up on his doorstep covered in designer labels from the top of her bleached blond hair, to sprayed-on tan, past collagen-injected lips, and over fake tits. First, he would’ve gotten some, and second, he would’ve kicked her designer-clad ass out the door, never to be seen or heard from again. Because he wouldn’t have cared. Just another lay. Nothing more or less.

  But Katie’s presence had the same effect on him as a belt of Jim Beam on an empty stomach…like a burning inferno. And the only way to put the fire out was to have her, body and soul. He let out a shaky breath. He was lost, and Katie was the only person who could find him. He hadn’t even been inside her, and he already knew his world would tip and never be the same.

  Through the loft’s windows, Vance spied his black truck rolling down the driveway. He hurried to the bathroom, splashed cold water on his face, brushed his hair with his fingers, and hit his teeth with a toothbrush. He replaced his rumpled T-shirt with a clean, white button-down and bolted down the steps. He tried telling himself his hungry stomach needed lunch, but what he really needed was…Katie.

  * * *

  Katie watched Vance jog from the back of the house as if he’d been expecting her. Technically, he had been, since she’d texted, announcing her arrival. The sun cast a bright glow around his head, giving the dark angel a golden halo. Katie smiled as he slowed to a nonchalant stroll, shoving his hands in his jeans pockets and wearing an adorable crooked grin.

  “I want Uncle Pance,” Danny called from the backseat.

  “He’s coming to get you, little ladybug.”

  “I no ladybug. I a boy,” Danny declared in a loud voice. Katie heaved a sigh. She needed to find some little girl playmates for Miss Dana Sue before she grew up wondering why she had boobies and not a ding-a-ling like her brothers.

  “I’m starved. What’s for lunch?” Vance asked, holding Katie’s door open. She held his offered hand and managed to jump to the ground without stumbling.

  “Thanks. I’ll grab the groceries if you get Danny. She’s been asking for her Uncle Pance.”

  “That’s because she knows a good-looking guy when she sees one.” Katie caught Vance leering. The bounder. She checked the top buttons in the front of her tunic.

  “I’m not showing an ounce of skin except from my knees down.” She gestured to her exposed legs below her Bermuda shorts. “What are you ogling, Pirate Man?”

  “If I’m ogling when you dress like a sixty-year-old woman, then you know there’s something good underneath.”

  Katie blinked at him in surprise. “I know what’s underneath, but you certainly don’t, unless you’ve resorted to peeping through bedroom windows.”

  “Uncle Pance…get me out,” Danny yelled, kicking her legs.

  “No, but maybe we can change that.” He warmed her with another leer as he unbuckled Danny from her car seat.

  Katie huffed. “And I don’t dress like a sixty-year-old woman.” Oh God…yes, she did. She swallowed her groan, pulling shoppers from the back of the cab.

  “Yeah, you kinda do. The burning question is: Why?”

  “I wanna ride horsey… Horsey. Now.” Danny wiggled in Vance’s arms.

  “Okay, wild thang, hold on.” Vance lifted Danny up and over his shoulders, hooking his arms over her legs to hold her in place.

  “Fast. Go fast, Uncle Pance.” Danny clapped her hands, and Vance jogged up the front walk and steps, jostling her on his back. Katie gasped at Danny’s bobbing head as she laughed hysterically.

  “Careful. Don’t give her whiplash.” Katie climbed the front steps, carrying two shoppers filled with lunch food and staples for the kids. Vance held the door open, pretending to smash Danny’s back against the door as she squealed with laughter.

  Katie shook her head. “No wonder she thinks she’s a boy,” she muttered under her breath.

  “Boys are the best. Aren’t they, Danny?” Vance said in a loud voice.

  “Yep. Imma boy.”

  “That’s right. What are girls?”

  “Girls are dummies!”

  Katie rolled her eyes and started unloading the groceries in the kitchen. “You better keep writing bestsellers, because I suspect you might have to pony up for a sex change operation when she gets older.”

  Vance stopped jostling Danny and allowed her to slide down his back to the floor. “You think?”

  Katie snuck a peek at his confused face. She shrugged, trying not to laugh. “What do I know? She’s a beautiful little girl, but she’s never going to appreciate her God-given assets with you guys telling her all the time she’s a boy. What does her mother say about all this?”

  Vance cleared his throat. “Dana Sue, go wash your hands and get ready for lunch.” He gave her a gentle shove out of the kitchen. “And don’t put the cat in the toilet,” he called after her. Katie paused at the open refrigerator and watched big, bad Vance Kerner shuffle his Nike sneakers against the clean tile floor. “Gloria do
esn’t know. I guess she’ll be pretty mad, huh?”

  “All I know is a girl puts up with enough crap about her image. Don’t wear this; don’t wear that. Dress sexy; don’t dress provocative. Show some cleavage; cover up. Get a nose job. Don’t eat that. Watch your weight. Nobody wants a fat girl—” Katie clamped her mouth shut. She’d probably heard versions of those phrases a million times. Oh boy…TMI. “Anyway, mixed signals can be confusing. That’s all I’m trying to say.”

  Ducking her head, she got busy digging inside the next shopper. Holding two boxes of cereal, she turned right into Vance’s broad chest.

  He caught her by the upper arms and held her immobile, his hands burning brands into her arms. “Is that why you dress…the way you do? Because of all those messages?”

  Yes. No. Probably. Absolutely. She shook the boxes of cereal. “Need to put these away. I bought Cap’n Crunch and Lucky Charms…no more cereal wars. Yay.” Vance didn’t budge. He continued to study her with his dark, inky eyes as if he could see inside straight to her soul. As if he could hear the harsh words and the demeaning comments her oblivious parents made. Who truly believed they were helping with their constant harping and endless lectures. Hot, unwanted tears began to prick the backs of her eyes. Mortified, she wrenched free of his grasp and bolted past him.

  “Katie—”

  “I can’t find Pixie. Where’s Pixie?” Danny entered the kitchen with Lollipop cradled in her arms.

  Katie swiped at the damning tears on her face and opened the pantry door to put away the cereal. She could still feel Vance’s steely gaze boring into the back of her head.

  After a few beats, she heard him say, “In her cage. You can let her out now.”

  Danny scurried to free Pixie inside the laundry room. “I want lunch. Can I have lunch now, Kay-tee?”

  “S-sure, honey. What would—” Vance pulled Katie in for a tight hug and kissed the top of her head, murmuring words she didn’t understand. But that simple gesture was all it took for the floodgates to open. Katie gulped back a sob, trying to gain her release from his strong, comforting arms, knowing she couldn’t stay there and bawl like a baby, no matter how wonderful it felt. “Please…let me go.” She sniffed, and Vance slowly dropped his arms.