Pauper's Gold

by Margaret Dickinson

  There was a sudden stillness in the room as Bessie stared at Nell in horror and clapped her hand over her runaway mouth. But the sight of Bessie’s horror-struck face was so comical that Nell, far from being offended, collapsed against the doorframe, laughing helplessly.

  ‘If I look like one, then . . . then so does she,’ she spluttered. ‘So does his wife. Mrs Gregory.’

  ‘Aw, I’m sorry, love.’ Bessie was mortified. ‘I shouldn’t have said that. It’s nowt to do wi’ me. But . . . but I look on you – on both of you – like you was me own daughters.’

  Hannah, recovering from the surprise, moved forward to examine Nell’s hair that was now a bright shade of rich auburn that shone and glowed in the lamplight. Quite seriously, she said, ‘It looks even better on you than on her. D’you know, I thought when I saw her that day, it didn’t look quite natural. But it is a lovely colour.’

  ‘I’ve been acting as her lady’s maid for a few weeks,’ Nell went on. ‘That poor little creature finally plucked up enough courage to give in her notice. I hope she’s found someone nicer to work for,’ Nell murmured, sparing a thought for the young girl, who had suffered so under Mrs Gregory’s sharp tongue. ‘Anyway, madam wanted me to help her dye her hair one day and she suggested I should try it. You won’t believe it, but she helped me do it. I’ve never like my mousy coloured hair, so I wasn’t going to say no, was I? She seems to’ve taken a liking to me. She’s given me some of the clothes her children have grown out of for Tommy. And they’re hardly worn. He’ll look a little prince in them. She’s not so bad when you get to know her. D’you know, I think she’s lonely. You’d think she’d have lots of friends, wouldn’t you, but she doesn’t seem to have any.’

  ‘Maybe they think she married beneath her. The so-called gentry can be a snobby lot,’ Hannah remarked. She touched Nell’s hair. It felt soft and silky. ‘Well, I like it, Nell.’

  She turned to Bessie, who had now sunk into a chair beside the table and dropped her head into her hands. Heaving sobs shook her shoulders. The two girls glanced at each other and then hurried to her, standing one on either side and bending over her. Tommy, who had come in with Nell, pushed his way between Hannah and the table to lay his head on Bessie’s lap and clutch at her knees. ‘Nanna, Nanna . . .’ His chubby face threatened to dissolve into tears too.

  ‘Auntie Bessie, don’t take on so,’ Nell tried to reassure her. ‘I’m not offended, honestly I’m not. I’d sooner you told me the truth an’ if that’s what you think then . . .’

  But Bessie was shaking her head violently. She sat up, dabbed her eyes with the corner of her apron and pulled the little boy onto her knee to cuddle him. ‘There, there,’ she crooned. ‘It’s only your old Nanna being silly.’

  Hannah poured out a cup of tea and set it on the table. ‘Here, drink this. You, too, Nell. Sit down, supper’ll soon be ready.’

  ‘I should explain,’ Bessie said supping her tea.

  ‘No need,’ Nell said, patting her hair with pride. ‘I’m taking no notice of you anyway.’

  With that, they all laughed again, but Bessie couldn’t let the matter rest there. ‘No, no, I shouldn’t have blurted it out. Not like that, but you see it – it reminded me . . .’

  She glanced uncomfortably at Hannah, took a deep breath and said, ‘I wasn’t entirely truthful with you, love, when you first came back. Oh, I don’t mean I lied to you, but . . . but I just didn’t tell you everything about my own family.’ She rested her cheek against the top of Tommy’s dark head and closed her eyes. ‘I was too ashamed,’ she whispered.

  ‘Ashamed? You, Auntie Bessie? Whatever do you mean?’

  ‘Do you remember, when you first came back ’ere you was asking about all my family and what had happened to them and where they were?’

  Hannah nodded.

  ‘And I told you about our Peggy running off with a young lad, going to live with his family and that I hadn’t heard anything about her from that day to this?’

  ‘Yes,’ Hannah whispered.

  ‘Well, that was the bit that wasn’t quite true. She did run off with him and she did move in with him, but only for a while.’ She was silent for a long moment whilst Hannah and Nell waited. ‘I . . . I saw her just the once about two years later, hanging around in a rough part of the town. I wasn’t sure it was her at first, because . . . because she’d dyed her hair.’ She glanced apologetically at Nell once again. ‘That same colour.’ Bessie paused again and then continued. ‘I was just about to go up to her and say, “Come home, love, and we’ll say no more about it,” but . . . but just before I could, I saw her go up to this toff, smiling all coyly at him, bold as yer like. They spoke for a minute and then . . . then she put her arm through his and they . . . they went off together.’ Bessie closed her eyes at the agony of her memory. ‘I should have chased after her. Stopped her there and then. Dragged her home by her awful hair and locked her in. But I didn’t. I couldn’t take it in. Not then. And then it was too late. I couldn’t find her again even though I tramped the streets for several nights looking for her. But do you know the worst thing?’ Her voice fell to an unhappy whisper. ‘I couldn’t help thinking that I was glad my Bill wasn’t alive to see what his daughter had become. Now how could I have thought such a thing? How could I have ever been glad he wasn’t here any more?’ Fresh tears flowed as she looked up again at Nell, seeking her understanding, her forgiveness. ‘I’m sorry, love.’

  Nell smiled a little pensively now. ‘It’s all right, Auntie Bessie.’ She sighed heavily. ‘Maybe I’m not much better. I’m a fallen woman, after all.’

  ‘No, no, don’t say that,’ Hannah cried, putting her arms around her friend. ‘I won’t let you. You must have loved Mr Edmund and thought he loved you. Just like my mother believed Jimmy Gregory loved her.’

  Nell laughed wryly. ‘Aye, but I should’ve known better. I knew I wasn’t the first, but you always think it’ll be different for you. That they really love you, that you can change them. But you can’t,’ she added bitterly. Then raising her cup, she echoed Hannah’s favourite saying. ‘A curse on all good-looking men.’

  ‘And does that include Jim?’ Hannah put in slyly, her blue eyes sparkling with mischief.

  ‘Oh, my goodness,’ Bessie cried. ‘Whatever will he say when he sees you?’

  And with that, the three of them burst out laughing, with little Tommy chortling too – even though he didn’t understand a word of what they’d been saying.

  To Bessie’s surprise, Jim was full of compliments for Nell’s new hair colour. ‘I like it,’ he told her truthfully. ‘It suits you.’

  And though they all heard Bessie’s disapproving sniff, this time she kept her lips firmly pressed together.

  ‘You don’t think I look like a . . .’ Nell cast a wicked glance at Bessie. ‘A lady of the night?’

  ‘Wha—?’ Jim’s eyes widened and for a moment he looked angry. ‘Well, if you do, then so do my mother and my sister, because their hair’s that colour. Only difference is, they were born with it. All you’ve done is to give nature a helping hand.’ His tone became firm, indignant. ‘Don’t ever say that about yourself again, you hear me?’

  ‘Yes, Jim.’ Nell lowered her head, hiding her bubbling laughter as she saw the consternation on Bessie’s face.

  And there the matter might have ended, if it hadn’t been for Jim’s final remark on the subject. ‘It does make you look different. I almost didn’t know you when you opened the door.’ Then he touched her cheek with a gentle gesture. ‘But you’re still my Nell.’

  Hannah stared at her friend, seeing her suddenly through the eyes of others. Yes, it had altered her. If someone who hadn’t seen her for a few years met her now, would they even recognize her? Hannah wondered. And without her being conscious of it, the germ of an idea – a daring, dangerous idea – was implanted in Hannah’s mind.

  Thirty-Three

  Hannah, Nell and Tommy had been living with Bessie for almost two years when Jim finally pro
posed to Nell.

  ‘You’re a lucky girl,’ Bessie assured her. ‘He’s a fine young man and . . .’ She had been about to say more, but bit her lip and looked away.

  Gently, Nell added, ‘And he’s a good ’un to take me and Tommy on. Is that what you were going to say, Auntie Bessie?’

  ‘Well . . .’ the older woman was embarrassed, flustered now.

  ‘But you’re right,’ Nell said. ‘To take on Edmund Critchlow’s bastard as his own takes a real man, a good man. I know that. And when we’re married, he’s going to adopt Tommy, all legal like, so that he’ll have Jim’s surname.’

  ‘Aw, Nell, love. That’s wonderful. Have you . . . have you . . . ?’ Again Bessie’s voice faltered. Whilst she was happy for the young couple and for the child, their marriage would take them away from her. She’d come to love them as her own, especially the little boy whose endearing ways had won her heart. It’d be another loss that would be hard to bear.

  ‘In about a month’s time. We thought on Tommy’s second birthday in December. Just a quiet do. After all, I’ve no family and Jim’s only got his mother and his sister and maybe his colleagues from the station.’

  Bessie tried to smile, but she couldn’t hide the bleak look in her eyes. But Nell was grinning broadly. ‘Oh, you’re not going to get rid of us that easy, if that’s what you’re hoping,’ she teased, knowing full well Bessie was wishing for anything but that. She moved and put her arm around Bessie’s ample shoulders and hugged her close. ‘There’s a house down the end of this very street to rent. It’s belongs to a mill owner, of course, but the old lady who lived there’s just died and—’

  Bessie nodded. ‘Oh yes, I know who you mean. But her son works in the garret, doesn’t he? What’s going to happen to him?’

  ‘He’s married and they live next door to his wife’s parents.’ Nell’s eyes sparkled. ‘Luckily for us, she doesn’t want to move, so he can still go on renting the garret and we can live downstairs. Jim’s sorted it all out with the mill owner and he’s paid a month’s rent up front and it’s ours from the first of December. We’ll be married on that very day. Just think,’ she went on, her eyes sparkling. ‘We’ll be in our very own home for Christmas, and you and Hannah must spend Christmas Day with us.’

  As Bessie opened her mouth to protest, Nell added, ‘And we won’t take “no” for an answer. So there!’

  Bessie’s face was a picture of happiness. ‘Then I’ll still see Tommy if you’re only down the street. You’ll still let him come and see me?’

  Nell laughed. ‘More than that. I was going to ask you if you’d look after him whilst I carry on working for a bit.’

  Bessie’s eyes widened. ‘Jim doesn’t mind you still going to the Gregorys?’

  ‘Not if Mrs Gregory will let me go just daily. Besides, it’s not long now until the lad goes to school and they get a governess for the little girl. I always knew the job wouldn’t last for ever. Mind you, madam asks me to do a lot more for her now. Says I have a way with clothes and such.’ She touched her hair a little self-consciously. ‘So she might want me to continue as her lady’s maid. The one she’s got at the moment is less than useless – worse than the girl that was there. You should hear her shouting at her.’ She laughed. ‘But she never shouts at me.’

  Listening to the conversation, Hannah pulled a face. ‘She wouldn’t dare!’

  Nell had the grace to nod and say, ‘That’s true, ’cos I’d only shout back and walk out, and one thing she can’t abide is having to look after the kids herself.’

  Bessie gave a snort of disapproval. ‘Some women don’t know when they’re well off. She doesn’t know how lucky she is.’

  Nell’s face was sober. ‘They tried to take Tommy away from me, y’know.’ Hannah and Bessie stared at her. ‘Told me it would be a lot better for him if I let some nice, well-to-do family adopt him. That he’d have a much better chance in life than being brought up in the workhouse.’ Bessie and Hannah exchanged a glance but said nothing, allowing Nell to unburden a guilt that had lain heavily on her. ‘Maybe I should’ve done.’ She looked at the other two, tears in her eyes. ‘Was I being selfish, hanging onto him?’

  ‘No, no, you weren’t,’ Bessie was swift to reassure her. ‘You have to do what you think best. A lot of girls in your position would’ve let him go and who’s to say they weren’t right?’ Her mouth tightened. ‘A lot of ’em are forced into it, either by their families or by the authorities. They don’t want to give up their babies, but they’re left with no choice. In fact, they’re not given the choice.’

  ‘I know,’ Nell nodded. ‘There was one poor girl in there who was desperate to keep her baby, no matter what, but they actually snatched him out of her arms and carried him off to give to some well-off pair.’

  ‘Huh!’ Hannah said bitterly. ‘Another of Goodbody’s schemes. I dare bet he was paid handsomely.’ She glanced at Nell. ‘How come he let you keep Tommy then?’

  Nell smiled sheepishly. ‘He knew who the father was. It was Edmund Critchlow had me sent back to the workhouse when I told him I was carrying his child. I think Goodbody was a bit unsure what to do to be right. Whatever he did could’ve put him on the wrong side of Edmund. So he chose to let sleeping dogs lie. He did nothing. Oh, he tried to persuade me to give Tommy away, but no, he didn’t force me.’

  ‘Well, you’ve turned out lucky, Nell. You’ve found a good man who’ll love you and your son.’

  ‘Yes, yes, I have,’ Nell said, ‘But I’d never’ve had the chance to meet him if it hadn’t been for you and Hannah getting me out of that place.’ Her voice was soft with love and gratitude not only for Jim, but for Bessie and Hannah too.

  ‘Oh, go on with you.’ Bessie flapped her away, pretending embarrassment, but secretly she was heartwarmed. Then, playfully, she wagged her forefinger at the girl. ‘Just so long as you don’t ever take little Tommy away from me.’

  Nell’s wedding was a quiet affair, but Bessie and Hannah had managed to scrape enough money together to give Nell a wedding breakfast at home, and to Nell’s astonished delight, Mrs Gregory had given her one of her old dresses to turn into a grand wedding dress.

  She and Hannah sat far into the night, cutting and fitting and stitching.

  It was a merry party that returned to the house in Paradise Street, where Bessie and Hannah had put on a spread fit for a queen.

  ‘Going to invite the neighbours in then, Bessie?’ Flo Harris was hovering on the doorstep.

  ‘’Course we are,’ Bessie said happily.

  Flo sniffed. ‘Thought the likes of us weren’t welcome, seein’ as how we didn’t get an invite to attend the service.’

  ‘You didn’t need no invite if you’d wanted to come. Free entrance at the church,’ Bessie retorted. Then she relented, adding, ‘Oh, come on in, Flo and stop moaning for once in your life. And tell anyone else down the street, they’re very welcome if they want to come in.’

  ‘Ta, Bessie.’ Flo smiled. ‘I will.’

  Half an hour later, it seemed as if half the street was crammed into Bessie’s terraced house. But her neighbours came with whatever little gift they could spare: pots and pans, bed linen for the young couple’s new home and all sorts of useful items. One old man, a widower, gave Nell an apron that had been his wife’s. Handing it to her, he said, ‘If you look after your man as well as my dear wife cared for me and our young ’uns, you’ll not go far wrong, lass.’

  With a lump in her throat, Nell kissed the old man’s leathery cheek.

  When they’d all eaten and drunk their fill and tottered back through the dusk to their own homes, there came a moment of awkwardness.

  ‘Well, be off with you then, the pair of you,’ Bessie said with brusque fondness. ‘You can leave Tommy here for the night. He’ll be all right with me ’n’ Hannah. It won’t be much of a honeymoon, but you ought to have your wedding night to yourselves.’ She pulled the little lad onto her lap and cuddled him close. ‘You’ll be all right with your Nanna, won’t
you, my little man?’

  The little boy, wearied by the day’s excitement, put his thumb in his mouth, leaned against her and promptly fell asleep. The grown-ups chuckled softly and Jim, with a tender gesture, touched the boy’s hair. ‘That’s good of you, Mrs Morgan. We’ll fetch him in the morning.’

  ‘No hurry,’ Bessie said.

  Nell laughed softly. ‘For two pins I reckon she’d keep him.’ Above the child’s head Bessie and Nell exchanged a fond look. They both knew there was more than a mite of truth in Nell’s teasing statement.

  Jim put his arm around his bride’s shoulders. ‘Come on then, Mrs Smith. High time I carried you across that threshold.’

  There were kisses and farewells all round and Nell joked, ‘Anyone’d think we were emigrating to the other side of the world.’ But even so, she gave Hannah an extra fond hug.

  ‘Thanks, Hannah, for everything,’ she whispered. ‘But for you I’d still be locked up in that place.’

  ‘And but for you,’ Hannah murmured in return, ‘I might not have survived those first few weeks at the mill, especially after Jane . . .’

  ‘You would. You’re a fighter. A survivor. Whatever you want in life, you’ll get. Just be careful that you don’t get hurt yourself, that’s all.’ She pulled back a little and looked into her friend’s eyes. ‘There’s something still brewing in that head of yours. Something that one day you’re going to do. I can see it. Sometimes you get this far away look in your eye and it frightens me, Hannah, ’cos when it happens you look so grim and determined, I know someone, somewhere, is in for it.’

  Hannah tried to laugh it off, but she was startled at her friend’s perception. Oh yes, she had a secret and yes, someone was going to be in for it, as Nell said. In for it good and proper, if Hannah had her way.

  One day, Edmund Critchlow was going to be made to pay.

  ‘You know, it surprises me that you haven’t found yourself a boyfriend before now,’ Bessie said as she and Hannah sat before the range late that night with just the glow from the fire to light the room. After an exciting and busy day, they were content to sit warming their feet against the fender. Tommy was fast asleep upstairs and they would soon be joining him. But for the moment they were enjoying the cosiness of there just being the two of them. ‘If I’m honest – ’ Bessie chuckled – ‘I’d’ve thought you’d have found a feller before Nell. ’Cos when young Jim first started calling, I thought it was you he was coming to see.’