As badly as I wanted to turn myself in, it meant turning Vick in, too, and that was something I wasn’t willing to do. She was the only family I had—my baby sister. What she had done was wrong, but I couldn’t let her go to jail. I couldn’t.
That night, I changed. I lay in bed and blocked out all the memories of the night, cutting off my emotions completely, so that I didn’t feel the guilt or the hurt tearing me apart.
Popping open the locket the woman had given me, I saw two pictures inside. One of the little girl, and another of the baby I’d heard screaming. I’d witnessed two people die—parents. I’d left two children, mother and fatherless. I’d sentenced them to a life like mine. It was something I’d never get over for the rest of my life… never.
“What the hell are you talking about, Sebastian? We were both there.”
Her words pulled me from my memories. “You’re right. I never should have let you…” I didn’t finish.
“Are you thinking of ratting me out? The least you can do is tell me before you do.”
My gaze snapped in her direction. “You know me better than that. I’m not a fucking rat. I’d never do that to you and I’d never do that to Rosslyn. She can never find out what happened that night.”
“Oh, screw the bitch, Sebastian. I’m the one you should be loyal to. Me, not her.”
“I said, I wasn’t going to tell her. I can’t lose her, and if she finds out, she’ll leave me. I need her, Vick. She’s it for me.”
Vick’s face crumbled and she fell back a step. “But I thought…”
Even through my drunken haze, I didn’t miss the total devastation on her face. I’d suspected Vick’s feelings for me a couple of weeks ago, but tonight confirmed it. It was like a punch in the gut. She was in love with me.
How could I have not seen it all these years? She was like a sister to me, so it never occurred to me her feelings ran deeper than mine. She watched me screw anyone and everyone, and never batted an eyelash. But with Rosslyn things were different, and now all of Vick’s issues over the past few weeks made sense.
“Vick…” I raised my hands in the air feeling helpless. How was I supposed to tell her I didn’t feel the same for her?
Tears fell down her cheeks and she swiped at them angrily and then wrapped her arms around her middle. I hadn’t seen this side of her in a very long time, and I was reminded of the girl she used to be. She was vulnerable and I was watching it in slow motion as I was breaking her heart.
As much as things had changed between me and Vick in the past weeks, a part of me clung to the old her. I couldn’t just turn away from her pain. Holding my arms out toward her, I waited, hoping she’d accept my comfort. Within a second, she was across the room and throwing her arms around my waist.
Her tears soaked the front of my suit, but I didn’t care. She needed comfort. Guilt thickened in my gut as I realized things were going to be different from that point on. The moment felt like it was marking the end of our friendship.
“I love you, Sebastian. I’ve been with you since the beginning. No one else.”
“Shhh,” I whispered, smoothing the side of her head.
“She’ll never be good enough for you. She’ll never know you like I do. I accept you for who you are and what you’ve done. Would she say the same if she found out about your, our, past?”
“Vick…” I started to explain to her, but she cut me off.
“Tell me you don’t love me, Sebastian. Tell me you’ve never loved me.” She begged, looking up at me with tear-filled eyes.
“I’m sorry, but I don’t feel the same way. You’ve always been like a sister to me.”
“That’s not true.” She shook her head furiously. “Kiss me.”
Before I could stop her, her fingers were gripping my jacket and she was pulling me forward. She caught me by surprise and was able to press her lips against mine.
Desperation was a bitter taste. I felt her tongue move along my lips and I wrapped my fingers around her elbows roughly, and tried to pull her from me.
“I love it when you’re rough,” she growled. “I know how you like to fuck. Fuck me, Sebastian. Fuck me hard.” She bit my lip, freeing her arms and started attacking the buttons on her shirt.
“Stop it, Vick.” I pushed her away and she fell back a few steps.
She blinked at me and then glared. “She’s going to break your heart. She’s not like us. She’ll never be like us. You and I are the same. We don’t get happily ever after.”
“Maybe I won’t get a happy ending, but even after all the shit I’ve done, you and I are nothing alike.”
She smirked, fixed her shirt, and turned around. Without another word, she left the room, slamming my door behind her. If I had been smart, I would have followed her to make sure she left the club, but I wasn’t smart.
“What is this, Sebastian? Tell me what it is.” Roz screamed at me.
Tears ran down her cheeks, taking pieces of my heart with them.
The inevitable had happened and now I was going to lose everything I loved.
“Rosslyn, sweetheart. I can explain. Just let me ex—”
“Don’t you dare call me sweetheart. Tell me what it is. I just want to hear you say the words. I need to know this is real.”
“Rosslyn, please…”
“Stop! Just say the words.”
She was breaking in front of me—crackling from the inside out, and there was nothing I could do to stop it. Taking a deep cleansing breath, I closed my eyes and prepared for the end of everything.
“It’s your mother’s locket.”
The words cut into my throat like large shards of glass. I could practically taste the blood in the back of my mouth.
“And how did you get it?”
Her shoulders were stiff and the hand holding out the locket was shaking so bad I thought she might drop it.
“Please, baby. Let me explain.”
I just needed her to listen for just a few minutes. I wanted her to know the truth. She needed to know that while I was there, I didn’t pull the trigger. I didn’t technically kill her parents.
“Don’t call me baby! I’m not your fucking baby!”
I flinched at her words.
“It was you. You were the boy leaning over my mother, weren’t you?”
She wasn’t asking the right questions. I needed her to ask me if I’d killed them.
“Yes, it was me,” tears came unbidden to my eyes. “But I swear, Rosslyn. I swear I didn’t kill your parents.”
“Then who did?”
The name sat on the tip of my tongue waiting to lunge into the air around me, and instead of holding it back like I always had, I let it jump.
“Vick.”
She ran her hands down her face, before tugging at her hair. “I can’t…” She closed her eyes and shook her head. “This isn’t happening.”
“I was there, Rosslyn, but I didn’t kill them. I need you to hear me, I need to know that you understand.”
“Do you think it makes it better that you were just there, Sebastian? You never should have been in my house. You may not have pulled the trigger, but you took away everything with just your presence.”
“Ross—” I took a step closer to her, but she jerked away.
“Don’t. Don’t you dare. You don’t get to touch me. I don’t want to look at you, you make me sick.”
“I’m sorry, I should’ve told you.”
“Wait…” she lifted her accusing gaze, really looking at me for the first time. “How long have you known about me? From the beginning, Sebastian? Is that why you did all this? Was this some sick fucking game to you?”
“No. I didn’t find out until—“
“The password,” she interrupted. “That’s why you flipped out when I told you it was my last name.”
“I swear I was going to leave you alone. I was. But I loved you, Rosslyn. I still love you. I need you.” Tears fell down my cheeks, for the first time since I was a little boy.
“You’ve been fucking me this whole time… knowing who killed my parents?”
I wanted to tell her so many things, but nothing I could say was going to make it okay. I knew I was going to lose her and as I watched her stare back at me with hate-filled eyes, I understood she was no longer mine. I had no right to try and dissuade her from leaving me.
“I need to get out of here. I need to get away from you.”
And then she started to walk past, to leave the room. Panic ripped through me. Not because I was afraid she was going to the police, but because I knew once she left, I’d never see her again.
Reaching out, I pulled her to me when she came near, and she lashed out. Slapping at my face and chest, she screamed. I held her close to protect herself and me.
“Please don’t do this. I just found you. I can’t lose you now.” The lump in my chest moved into my throat and threatened to choke me.
“I was never yours, Sebastian. The minute you stepped into my house twelve years ago, I’ve wanted you dead.”
“Don’t say that. You love me, Rosslyn. I know you do.”
She wasn’t hearing me as she continued to shake free of me. Finally, with a burst of strength I didn’t know she had, she kicked at my foot and shin, before pushing me away with a growl.
I slammed into the wall, and lost my footing. She ran. I was just getting into the living space as she slung open the front door and dashed down the stairs. I chased her, taking the stairs as quickly as I could, but once she hit the floor full of dancers, she disappeared into the crowd.
I searched for her like a crazed man. Pushing through dancers and knocking over drinks. People looked at me like I was nuts, and maybe I was. I darted toward the door, sure I’d cut her off, but she was nowhere to be found.
Leaving the club, I stood on the wet asphalt and let my eyes take in the area. The love of my life was out there somewhere, alone on the streets. If something happened to her, I’d never forgive myself.
Turning, I ran back upstairs to my apartment to get my keys. She’d have to either go home or find a place to stay. I’d find her and make sure she was safe. No matter where she was, I’d find her and make this better.
“ARE YOU SURE IT’S OKAY if I stay here a while?” I asked, blowing my nose in a tissue that was starting to fall apart. “I don’t want to be a bother.”
“Girl, please. You’re welcome to stay here,” Trish said, handing me a new tissue. “I just really wish you’d tell me what the hell is going on.”
She seemed genuinely concerned, but I wasn’t ready to talk. Not to mention, I still didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know if I should call the police, or what. I just needed a place to hide out until I got my head on straight.
I had a week before Kyle came home, and there was no way in the world I was going back to that condo. I wasn’t going to let the man who killed my parents take care of me.
“I can’t,” I said through my tears. “I wish I could, but I just can’t.”
She reached out and smoothed the hair on the side of my head. “When you’re ready to talk, I’m here.”
Trish attempted to call off the date she’d been talking about for the last two weeks, but I refused to let her do that. I was an emotional mess and I wanted to spend the night alone. I was more than happy to watch Trish walk out the door an hour later.
I laid on the couch and cried for most of the night. At some point, I fell into a fitful sleep. Memories of the night I’d kept under lock and key were released and I had no choice but to relive it all over again. Except my nightmare was different this time. This time I was the victim.
The sound of gunshots rang out and Kyle’s screams broke my heart all over again. And then there was the intruder’s face—Sebastian’s icy eyes cut through me, leaving me feeling cold and afraid.
He turned away from my mother’s lifeless body and made his way toward me.
“You’re next you little bitch,” he growled in my face.
His fingers dug into my arms, pinning me to the door of my parents’ room, and then he leaned in and kissed me.
I was tossing on the couch, when I heard a strange noise. My eyes opened, my senses on alert, and I sat up in the darkness of the room. I gasped when a shadow shifted against the wall across from me.
When the face was no longer shielded by the obscurities of the night, I wasn’t flooded with any sort of relief. She stood across from me, a gun in her hand, and there was no tremble as she took a step forward and pointed it at me.
“What are you doing here, Vick?” I asked, standing from the couch and praying my knees held me up.
“Don’t play stupid, Rosslyn, you know why I’m here,” she hissed.
The moonlight peeking through the curtains reflected against the metal in her grasp, and I watched her eyes shift toward the gun briefly before turning hate-filled eyes on me.
“Ironic, isn’t it?” she asked.
“What?” I tried to keep the shudder from my voice.
“That I’m going kill you with the gun I killed your parents with. I know you don’t want to hear this,” she shrugged, “but it was a fucking rush like no other.”
My stomach lurched, but I didn’t give her the satisfaction of reacting to her words.
“You’re lying. That gun’s in Sebastian’s safe.”
She scoffed, “I took it, you little twit. After you ran out and Sebastian followed, it wasn’t hard to grab.”
“Why are you doing this?”
“Because you’re a bitch who took something that didn’t belong to you. Sebastian’s mine—always has been. I should’ve been the one he fell in love with. We’re the same, him and I.”
“You’re wrong,” I said calmly. “He’s not a killer.”
“Even after everything he told you, you’re still in love with him, aren’t you?”
I knew answering her was only going to piss her off even more, but if I was going to die, I needed to say it out loud.
“Yes. I still love him.”
I closed my eyes and envisioned Sebastian’s face—his smile. He was such a loving person—broken, but loving. I suddenly had a clear head, which was weird, considering there was a gun pointed at me.
The clarity of the situation hit me. Seeing how sick and twisted Vick really was, there was no way Sebastian was anything like her. Sure, he had no business being in my house the night of my parent’s murder, but Sebastian could never kill someone—he couldn’t.
“You forgive him?”
“I’m not so sure there’s anything to forgive. He didn’t pull the trigger, you did. He was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.”
“You’re a stupid bitch. I’ll be doing the world a favor by taking you out,” she said, leveling the gun at my face.
My heart was beating so hard, it was beginning to hurt. “If being in love means being stupid, then yeah, I guess I’m a stupid bitch.”
“Well, the world’s about to be one stupid bitch short. He’s mine, and I don’t share.”
“I’m not going to tell anyone, Vick.”
“And I should believe you, why?”
“Because, if I was going to turn you in I would have gone straight to the police station after I left Sebastian.”
“Maybe you won’t tell, but I’m not taking any chances.”
“Sebastian won’t want you just because I’m dead. And when he finds out you’re the one who…” I couldn’t get the words past my lips.
“Killed you? Pulled the trigger? Ended your sorry life? Don’t worry, Sebastian will realize I did this for him. I’m the one who stuck with him over the years. I watched from the side as he fucked everything with a pussy, but I never had to worry because Sebastian didn’t fall in love. At least he didn’t, until you.”
“I’ll leave.” I grasped for straws. “I’ll go far away from here and then you can have Sebastian all to yourself. He doesn’t have to know and he won’t be upset if I’m still alive.”
She looked as if she w
as actually thinking about it, and for a moment, I felt some sort of hope.
“Nah, killing you sounds better. Sebastian won’t just let you leave. He’ll search until he finds you. I’m sorry, Jessica, but this is the only way.”
“No, it’s not, Victoria.” Sebastian’s voice sounded from beside us.
I nearly cried out in relief at the sound of his voice and Vick spun around, just as stunned as I was.
He stood tall in the doorway. The darkness of the night covering half of his face. He stepped into the room, making it feel smaller. I wanted to run to him. I wanted to hold him in my arms and tell him I forgave him. If I was going to die, he needed to know he could go on with my forgiveness.
“What are you doing here?” Vick hissed. “You just had to come to her rescue, didn’t you?”
“I’m not going to let you kill her,” Sebastian’s deep voice brought me an ounce of relief.
“Well, since I’m the only one with a gun here, it looks like you’re fucked out of a choice.”
“Don’t do this. Even if Rosslyn wasn’t in the picture, you and I would’ve never happened. You were different after killing her parents and I never looked at you the same.”
I listened to Sebastian try and talk Vick down, all the while trying to think of a plan. He wasn’t going to be able to distract her forever. I reached back toward the table next to the couch, my fingers barely touching the edge of the bag I’d brought with me.
I breathed a silent sigh of relief when my fingers brushed against the cold metal tucked beneath my wallet. Wrapping my fingers around it, I stood up and held the gun behind my back.
“After everything we’ve been through, I can’t believe you’re saying this to me,” Vick sniffled. Raising the gun again, she began to silently cry. Except this time, the gun wasn’t pointed at me, it was pointed at Sebastian.
“I guess this isn’t going to end in anyone’s favor because if I can’t have you, than neither can she.”
I froze, her words destroying my whole world. The dreaded sound of a gunshot filled the apartment, echoing off the walls and slamming into my chest.
Little Black Box Set Page 20