Come on,” Alyssa said, stepping into the vehicle. “This is really fun.” She held out her hand and Luke held it. She pulled him into the cloud.
“What is this?” he asked.
“I call it a cloud transport. It lets you fly, just like in one of those flying dreams.”
She tapped the cloud lightly and it revved to life. It began to rise. Luke felt his entire body getting lighter.
The cloud transport suddenly quivered, and Luke held onto Alyssa to steady himself. It reminded him of being on the ferry to Vancouver Island. They were nearing the port at Nanaimo when the ferry suddenly shook. He remembered the sense of security he felt while holding onto her.
He buried his face into her neck as they began their ascent. The night air meshed with her skin to become a sweet scent, like the smell of vanilla ice cream.
When the transport stopped moving, Luke looked around. The water was a deep abyss below. The sky above was a deep blue. The stars were shining. And he had the most beautiful girl in his arms.
He inhaled again, as though her redolent scent was his oxygen. There, up above the clouds, under the moon, with Alyssa in his arms, he felt like he had hit the jackpot.
He savored the moment. He did not know when he would be this happy again.
She spun around and brushed a loose strand of hair out of her face. Her eyes and face were bright in the moonlight. He did not think that he had ever seen her this joyful.
“This is quite the honeymoon,” he said.
She looked at him and nodded. “There’s more.” She tapped the fluffy transport on its sides, and it began chugging along.
As they zipped through the cool air, Luke was in a daze. This was the flying dream that he loved to have. And he was having it with his dead wife.
Wife. The word felt good to say.
“Wife,” he said softly.
“What?” said Alyssa, as the wind began to grow loud.
“Just saying the word ‘wife.’” he said. “I can finally call you that.” She gave his arm a gentle squeeze, and a quick flash of sorrow reflected off her face.
What was that? wondered Luke. He had spent a great deal of their relationship interpreting the expressions on her face, so he considered himself a seasoned veteran. But, this time, he could not interpret it.
But, when the cloud began to dip down and zigzag, the thought was flung out of his mine, replaced by the rollercoaster thrill of the ride.
They passed mountains that looked like floating cities, surrounded by mist. They dipped down so low that they were nearly in the water. He could almost feel the cool splash from the waves and see fish swimming under. He reached one hand and felt the cool sensation of the water.
Then they moved onto land and zipped past green pastures.
They were moving so fast that Luke had to close his eyes and hold onto Alyssa. She did not laugh at him, but allowed him to grip her tight. Clutching onto her body, the ride no longer felt so scary.
They finally landed in a tiny field. It was quiet and still all around them.
Luke got out of the transport and helped Alyssa out.
They looked around and saw they were in someone’s backyard. Luke looked down and saw that the grass reached up to his knees.
“That was really fun,” Luke said. “Let’s do it again.”
“Mkay.”
To Luke, hearing her say that word was like losing himself in a melodic tune.
They prepared to go back in the transport, but Luke froze. He recognized the area. Curiously, he stared at the backside of the tiny little brown house in front of them, its paint peeling off. He could see it clearly even in the dark.
Alyssa tapped him on the shoulder. “Honey? What’s the matter?”
“This is where I grew up,” he replied, without looking at her.
They heard noise coming from the house. It was someone shouting. Luke approached the back porch, which was illuminated by a single light.
He peeked into the window and saw an obese man with sideburns pointing his fingers at a little boy. The man was yelling, “Concentrate! Do the same math question again, and don’t talk until you’ve got the right answer.”
The little boy whimpered, and began to cry.
The old man gave the boy a look of pure contempt and disgust. “What? You got feelings now? What are you, a girl?”
Alyssa put a hand on his shoulders. “You dream of this often?”
He nodded. “Every now and then.” Then, he turned around. He did not need to see any more of this.
“Let’s go,” he said, clutching onto her hand. “We don’t need to see this.”
“Wait,” Alyssa said, refusing to move. “I wanna see more.”
She peeked into the window, but the image was gone already.
It was replaced by a big field, which they now realized they were in. The wind was beginning to blow very hard.
“You hear that?” she said. Her face and hair were being pummeled.
Luke stopped talking and listened. It was just the wind. Very normal.
“I think they’re coming for me,” she said.
Luke surveyed the field too, and noticed that the grass was growing taller. They were almost up to his chest. A mist began to circulate through the area, until visibility was less than a couple feet.
“What’s happening?” he asked Alyssa.
But Alyssa could not hear him because the wind was growing fiercer. The ground shook, and Luke saw the grass sprout taller still.
Except it wasn’t the grass anymore. The strands turn into giant cornstalks that towered high above them.
The Wind roared and scared away the mist.
Now, it was clear where they were. Back at the cornfield.
Then, the Wind stopped.
They perked up, like two rabbits suspecting a hunter’s trap. The sudden silence was eerie.
Luke strained to hear something, but all he heard were cicadas squealing like they were pigs being hauled to the slaughterhouse.
“Get down,” he said.
They huddled down in the tall grass, praying that it would conceal them.
“They’re going to drag me off to some place called Home,” Alyssa said.
“Is that Heaven?”
“I don’t know. But I do know it means I can never see you again, not even in your dreams.”
Luke held her closer. “I’m not going to let that happen. They’re going to have to get through me to get to you. I‘m not going to let you go again.”
He stared her in the face. In that moment, he knew that she had forgiven him.
He squeezed her again, pulling her so close to him that she might have suffocated. “Never again,” he murmured. “I’m not going to let them get you.”
She leaned her head against his head, then nuzzled his neck with her mouth.
After a little while, all was quiet. Luke decided lifting his head up to peek through the grass when he heard a thump on the ground.
Thump! There it was again.
In the corner of his eye, he saw a patch of grass stomped down. He held his breath as Alyssa buried her face in his chest.
Luke saw another patch of grass stomped down, this time directly in front of him. The two of them knelt there, frozen, not daring even to think.
There was silence again, and no movement.
“We need to get out of here,” Alyssa whispered.
He looked at his wife and noticed that her face was fogging up, as though he were wearing glasses. No, that wasn’t it. Mist had invaded the space between them, pushing them apart. The ground was splitting open as though they were in an earthquake fault zone. Alyssa grew farther and farther apart from him.
Luke stood up, reached out one hand, and was about to jump over to her when he looked down and regretted it. The crack was filled with blood red molten lava, crackling and splashing everywhere.
“Alyssa!” he yelled.
She reached out one hand, but she was too far away to reach Luke. Instead, she
screamed, “They’re coming for us! Run!”
Before he could even try to jump across the divide, Luke saw a figure materialize in front of Alyssa. He couldn’t see much in the fog, but he thought he could make out a navy blue raindrop shape.
Alyssa’s cry pierced the air.
Luke knew he just had to get to her, so he took a risk on the fiery divide. As he was jumping across, he saw the raindrop shape grab Alyssa and take off into the air.
In a split second, his beloved was gone.
* * * * *
Chapter 13
Luke woke up with a headache. Groggy, his eyes felt like shutting down, but he forced them open.
What time was it? He looked at the digital clock. 12 noon.
He reached over and tried to pull Alyssa closer to him, expecting to feel her breath on his neck, but all he touched was empty air.
Oh. Right. He remembered that he was not going to wake up to her anymore.
Then, he remembered his dream.
Alyssa had been captured by some weather figure. He may not see her again, not even in his dreams.
He fumbled around his bed for his sleeping pills. He had to get to sleep again. He had to see her.
His fingers curled around the bottle and he poured some pills into his hand. He couldn’t find any water close by, so he jammed the pills into his mouth and crunched them. Luke grimaced at the bitter taste, but it was a small price to pay to see Alyssa right away.
He swallowed, and the pills left a strong medicinal aftertaste.
He closed his eyes and concentrated on sleep.
It would not come.
His mind flitted from thought to thought.
Alyssa. Clouds. Beach. Wind. Cornfield.
After a little while, he did not slip into sleep, but managed to go to an in-between place. Still holding onto consciousness, he found himself in some misty dark field. It looked like a field that could be glorious in the sunlight, but there in the murky blackness, it was downright creepy.
“Alyssa?” he whispered tentatively.
The Wind must have heard him. It bellowed and made him squeeze his eyes shut. It blew so hard that he was forced to take a step back.
Holding up one hand in a futile attempt to offset the Wind, he opened his eyes, and saw nothing but fog.
“Alyssa?” he said again.
Then, the Wind subsided and he saw something emerge from the fog.
A figure in the shape of a raindrop.
It had no eyes, ears, mouths, arms nor legs. It did not resemble a human in the slightest.
Luke was frozen in place.
The figure did not move, but it spoke to him.
“Don’t come back for Alyssa. She’s ours.” It had a gravelly voice, yet it was high-pitched. Luke thought it was female.
“Who are you?” Luke asked, recovering his bravado.
“Don’t will yourself to dream of Alyssa anymore. Spirits are supposed to be caught and taken Home. They’re not supposed to be visiting people in the living world.” The figure hovered above the ground, mist swirling around it.
“Who are you?” Luke repeated.
“A reaper,” was all the Raindrop said.
“Is she with you?” Luke asked.
It did not answer his question. Instead, it said, “This is your only warning.”
It disappeared, taking the darkness, fog, and field along with it.
Luke was left in a room of pure white light, which began to go gray.
“Luke!” a male voice whispered. “Wake up!”
Luke felt his shoulder being shaken. He opened his eyes, but then closed them again. Although the day was gray, the weak light still hurt his eyes.
“Wake up,” the familiar voice said again.
Luke heard the rattling of the sleeping pill bottle. It did not sound like there were many pills left in there.
Then, the voice spoke again. “Oh my God. You took the entire bottle of sleeping pills?” The arm shook him more violently this time.
Luke opened his eyes. The first thing he saw was the digital clock. 1 pm. It had been only one hour.
He turned around and saw Mike standing there, looking concerned.
“Mike?” Luke said. “How’d you get in?”
“The door was unlocked. Man, I’m worried about you. Did you take this entire bottle of sleeping pills?” Mike indicated the bottle.
Luke struggled to keep his eyes open. “I took most of it.”
Mike sighed and sat down on the bed beside him. “I can‘t imagine how you must feel about losing Alyssa, but you could have overdosed on these pills. Trust me, I’ve taken them before. They’re drugs, and addictive like hell, like cocaine. You can get dependent.”
Luke ignored him. “What are you doing here? Don’t you have work?”
“I was in the office and saw you weren’t there, which was weird. You never miss work. I got worried and found you here.” He held up the bottle and shook it. “With these.”
“I was fired,” Luke said. He felt the urge to pull the cool blankets up over his head and go back to sleep, go back to Alyssa, but he couldn’t do that to Mike. Mike was his only friend, now that Alyssa was gone.
“Fired?” Mike looked shocked.
“I made another mistake.”
“Oh, man. That sucks.”
“No it doesn’t,” Luke said as he thought of Alyssa in his dreams. “I saw Alyssa’s body in the morgue at the hospital. She’s really gone.”
“I’m sorry,” Mike said.
“Don’t be. I’ve been having the most wonderful dreams about Alyssa. In my dreams, I married her, then took her flying through the clouds for our honeymoon. But then, I couldn’t get to her for some reason.” He knew exactly why, but he did not want to tell Mike about the Raindrop and the Wind.
A look of understanding came across Mike’s face. “So that’s why you’ve been taking these pills.”
Luke nodded. “At first I thought they were just dreams, but then Alyssa told me where to find something. Our cherry blossom.” He pointed to the cherry blossom on the nightstand. “She said it was under the bed. And it was.”
Mike looked alarmed now. He looked at the bottle, and then back at Luke. “I‘m worried about you. I know the name of a good psychiatrist. Will you promise me you‘ll at least go for a consultation?”
Mike reached into his wallet and took out a business card.
Luke made a face. “I’m not seeing a shrink.”
“Dr. Jones is a psychiatrist that specializes in grief and dreams. He’s not a shrink. My brother began having bizarre dreams about my mother when she died. Dr. Jones helped him cope.”
“I’m not having bizarre dreams. This is real. Alyssa is still with me.”
Mike put the business card beside Luke. “Please, just promise me you’ll consult with him. Just once. I’m really worried about you.”
Luke saw the concern in Mike’s eyes, and was touched. No one, apart from Alyssa, would go to all this trouble for him.
He finally relented. “Alright. Just once though.”
Mike looked relieved. “Good. Make an appointment today.” Then, realizing that he was visiting Luke shirtless in his underwear in his bed, his cheeks grew red. “So you want me to stay with you or….”
“No, it’s fine.”
“I’m here if you want to talk,” Mike said, then left the room.
Luke exhaled and took some time to re-adjust to the waking world. The day was cloudy, as usual. He heard the usual traffic below on the streets. A car honked, then the shrill siren of the ambulance blared.
He thought about his dream. The Raindrop. It said it was a reaper. It warned him not to try to dream of Alyssa again. She was not supposed to be coming to him in his dreams. But Luke would give anything to continue to see her.
He turned on his side, intending to go back to sleep again, but after sleeping for thirteen hours straight, he knew that he could not.
He turned again and something brushed against his side. It
was the card that Mike had left for him.
He reached over and picked it up, examining it.
Dr. Edward Jones, B.Sc (Hons), M.D.
Psychiatrist and Specialist in Grief
7035 West Broadway, Vancouver, BC.
He would go because he promised Mike he would. It’s the least he could do for him. He put the card on the nightstand. As he pulled his hand away, it brushed the cherry blossom. He took it, and put it on his nose, inhaling the flowery fragrance. Inhaling Alyssa.
* * * * *
The receptionist behind a desk greeted him as soon as he entered the waiting room. She was a petite woman with curly brown hair.
She looked up and smiled. “First visit?”
“Yes.”
“Please fill this out. Dr. Jones can see you in a minute.” She handed a clipboard over to him. Luke took a seat in the waiting room.
Dr. Jones’ waiting room was empty. A couple Time and Macleans magazines were laid on the coffee table. Paintings decorated the walls. One in particular stood out to him. It was The Scream, by Edvard Much. It was that painting of the guy with the distorted-looking face and hands on his cheek. It looked like that crazy villain killer from the Scream movie franchise.
Luke nearly shuddered. He was not crazy. He saw what he saw. Alyssa was still with him. He had proof. Alyssa had told him where their white cherry blossom was.
He filled out the form and the receptionist called his name. “Luke? Dr. Jones can see you now.”
He handed her the clipboard and was ushered into a room. A young man in a suit and tie was sitting behind an official-looking desk.
The receptionist handed the clipboard to the physician and closed the door behind her.
“Luke? I’m Dr. Jones. But you can call me Edward, or Ed.” The doctor indicated the chair opposite him and Luke sat down.
Luke stared at the psychiatrist. Dr. Jones was a young man with a conservative crew cut. He looked no older than Luke, and just barely out of his residency in psychiatry.
Dr. Jones smiled and said, “Normally, you need to obtain a referral from a general practitioner or a family doctor to see a specialist, but I get the feeling that this is an emergency.”
The doctor examined his clipboard. “I also see that you know Mike Davies?”
Hiding In His Dreams Page 11