Perhaps.... Perhaps

by Dale, Lindy

  ‘Don’t mind me,’ he said, opening the door to the Gents.

  ‘We won’t,’ Jake grinned, wolfishly, and aimed his lips to nuzzle on Flora’s neck. But Luke either hadn’t heard or was ignoring them as he went into the toilets and slammed the door behind him hard enough to detach the hinges.

  Flora’s eyes followed the path that Luke had left. A wave of sadness spread through her, replacing the spot inside where her heart had been until Luke had seen them. What was she thinking? All she had wanted was to make him a little jealous. This had not been her intention at all. Spontaneity and Saki were a dangerous blend, it seemed.

  ‘Get off me!’ she cried, her fist pushing into Jake’s bicep hard enough to leave an imprint. ‘I said make him jealous not give the impression my middle name is ‘ho’.’

  ‘Aww, come on, Flower.’ He rubbed at the spot and leaned her back against the wall, eager to continue the flirtation. ‘I was only following orders.’

  ‘Don’t Flower, me. If you do that again, you’re dead.’

  ‘But…’

  Flora’s eyes flashed. Unaccustomed anger surged through her. Neatly, she ducked under his arm and headed towards the door of the restaurant. ‘I said no. Tone it down or the game is over. NOW.’

  ‘Yes M’am.

  Chapter 13

  Back at the table, the first course had arrived. Calmed and sober, Flora reappeared with Jake following at her rear, looking way too pleased with himself for a man who had no reason to be. His eyes were twinkling and his hands toyed with her bottom as she walked behind the chair to take her seat. He liked to play games. This was no different. And one little punch in the arm wasn’t going to stop him.

  PJ and Dylan, oblivious to the world around them, were tucking into a noodle soup for two and even though Dylan was eating two scoops to her one, he was still complaining.

  ‘How about you stop being such a glutton with the noodles, carbs aren’t good for your diet.’

  PJ reddened and put her chopsticks down on the table. Brainwashed by Dylan into thinking she was a heifer, she would eat no more that evening, it was clear. The effects were clear too. Stunning in her black dress, she looked pale and rather bonier around the shoulders than a month back. She looked ill and unhappy. Not her usual city-girl self, at all.

  Flora eyed him, annoyed at his constant belittling of her friend. It was about time somebody stood up to that man. He was an utter bully. ‘They’re egg noodles,’ she blurted, the sudden rush of outspokenness surprising everyone at the table, except Jake who had only minutes before witnessed her anger. ‘So they don’t count as carbs. And PJ isn’t fat. She doesn’t need to diet.’ Sitting back in her seat, she congratulated herself. Twice now, she had displayed the courage to stand up to him. It felt good. Really good. Jake grinned and patted her back. He thought Dylan was a wanker too.

  Meanwhile, Louise had started on her tempura dish. With dainty ringed fingers, she was picking at her prawns and dipping them into the sauce. Flora slumped. Louise’s dinner smelled delicious. She wished hers would arrive. Her empty stomach was begging for mercy. Hungrily, she stared at the empty place setting before her. Everyone else was eating and she was sitting like a stale dinner roll that nobody wanted.

  ‘Wanna share?’ Jake asked, pointing to his bowl with his chopsticks. ‘I don’t mind, there’s tonnes here.’ He didn’t care that she had punched him, he was still playing the game.

  Flora shook her head. All she wanted was her dinner.

  ‘Sure?’ he questioned, holding a morsel of fish to her lips and winking.

  ‘Okay,’ she said, noting the tight look on Luke’s face and deciding she may was well join in the fun Jake had instigated. Luke was already annoyed. Watching her pay attention to someone else might be the very thing he needed to make him take some action. And if it didn’t she would have had some fun trying. As long as Jake kept his hands to himself.

  Tilting her head back at Jake, she parted her lips slightly to let the white flesh of the fish slide down her throat. It was fun to flirt. It almost made her forget that she was starving and that Louise had the perfect spot next to Luke where she should be.

  But Louise was staring. ‘What are you doing? You’re acting all weird.’

  ‘Am I?’

  ‘Yes, and stop flirting with Jake. I know I’ve tried to get you two together in the past but I’ve changed my mind. Stop now! It’s creeping me out.’

  So, their behaviour was being noticed. Good. That was what she wanted. ‘Sorry,’ Flora lied, ‘I didn’t even realise.’ As if.

  Swallowing the fish and resting her chin in her palm, Flora began to scrutinize Luke’s face. With no dinner to eat, it seemed an obvious diversion and he was sitting opposite. She couldn’t avoid him all night. That would be rude. They were friends, after all. Casually, her eyes took in the smooth squareness of his chin. It had been shaven before he came out, and his hair had been restyled into his weekend ruggedness. Flora liked it better like that. It made him appear more manly or something. Not as abrupt. His v-neck t-shirt glowed with the whiteness of being new and a leather knot decorated his throat. It was perfect. Simple, yet perfect. Flora liked a man who cared for his appearance and Luke did that. Not that he needed to care; he would have looked good with a week’s growth and bed hair.

  Then she noticed he wasn’t eating either, despite the fact that he had some rather scrumptious dish piled into his bowl and why was he staring at her like that? Had she angered him that much out in the courtyard? Curious now, she saw his eyebrow cock most disconcertingly in her direction. Maybe, he was jealous because Jake had slung a lazy arm along the banquette and around her shoulder. Suddenly self-conscious, Flora picked up her chopsticks and twiddled them between her fingers, dreaming of the morsels of battered fish and vegies that could be inside her stomach if she’d had a dinner to eat. Yes, she hoped he was jealous.

  ‘Do you mind if I start, Flora? I know you don’t have your meal yet but I missed lunch today and I’m pretty hungry.’

  Flora’s heart melted. He was being thoughtful. How could she play games with him when he was willing to let his own dinner go cold so that she wouldn’t eat alone?

  ‘No, start,’ she replied, watching in horror as her chopstick flew into the air and fell to the floor between Jake’s legs, narrowly missing his groin. ‘I’m sure mine’ll be here any second.’

  ‘Would you like me to check on your order?’

  ‘No, no, it’s fine. Start eating. I’m going to retrieve my lost implements.’

  ‘Let me help you,’ Jake said, ducking under the table after her.

  They searched around for a minute before he whispered, ‘It’s going well, don’t you reckon? Luke looked like he wanted to crack my head open when I wiped your lips with my serviette.’

  Flora smiled a little and picked up the lost stick. She would have to ask the waitress for a new set, these would be all germy now.

  ‘What do you say we crank it up?’ Jake grinned, not waiting for a response.

  ‘Er… ah…’ She realised she had been a bit more open to new experiences lately but she hated to think what ‘cranking it up’ meant. Not waiting for the explanation, she surfaced above the table.

  ‘So… Luke,’ Jake said, poking his head up from under the table and straightening his shirt. ‘Must be torture working with such glamorous chicks all day. The women I work with are either lesbians or married. Neither of which any sane man would touch with a barge pole. Not like the delightful Flora here, of course.’ He reached across and squeezed Flora’s arm. ‘She’s a honey, don’t you think?’

  Luke looked embarrassed. ‘Well… um…. yes.’ Then he coughed behind his hand. ‘And I see where you’re coming from Jake, but the majority of our staff is old enough to be my grandmother and even if I found that attractive I would never engage in an office romance. It would be unprofessional.’ His answer was directed to Luke but his pointed gaze went straight to Flora.

  Louise shook a finger in Luke’s face. ‘
Excuse me! I’m not old enough to be anybody’s mother, let alone a grandma.’

  ‘Present company excluded. Naturally.’ He smiled, lifting a piece of meat from his plate to his mouth with a small slurp. His dark eyes were trained on Flora’s as his tongue darted across his lips capturing the end of the slither and helping it to slide slowly in.

  Flora swallowed. It was the most disgustingly sensual thing she had ever seen a man do with his mouth. She wanted to yell at him to stop toying with her like that. What was he doing here anyway, ruining her life and her evening?

  At last the meal was over and the group settled into conversation. Jake was doing his best to flirt, rubbing Flora’s hand and winking suggestively but her heart was no longer in it. Louise, at the other side of the table, countered every move he made. It was like they were having some sort of brother-sister flirt-off and she and Luke were in the thick of it.

  ‘Please stop, Jake,’ she whispered, gesturing across the table to where Louise’s hand had crept onto Luke’s sleeve again. ‘It’s not working. If anything, it’s making her worse.’

  Jake watched his sister, attempting to exact a response from her partner. ‘He’s not into it, though. Just what is his deal?’

  Flora sighed. As if she was the one to ask. She had been trying to figure that out for the last five weeks. This whole evening was an utter disaster.

  ‘I’m tired,’ she announced, fetching her purse from the table. ‘I’m going home,’

  ‘Aren’t you coming to the club with us?’

  ‘No. I have a headache.’

  Fractious for becoming so upset over a man, Flora fumbled with her purse, throwing some notes onto the table. Then she reached for her shoes, managing at last to get them on and hold back the imminent tears at the same time. Walking the six blocks home was going to be torture but not as excruciating as subjecting herself to another minute of watching Louise trying to get into Luke’s pants. And the fact that he had kept staring at her from across the expanse of table cloth had only made it worse.

  ‘Let me walk you home,’ said Jake, tossing his napkin aside and standing to slide his rather large feet into very large shoes. He pulled his wallet out and plucked out some notes to cover his share.

  ‘No, you stay.’

  ‘Can I call you?’

  ‘Sure’ she replied, scribbling her number on a napkin and sticking it in his pocket. ‘Just let me get home first.’ It wasn’t his fault the plan had been a failure. He was a good guy.

  ‘What was that all about?’ asked Louise, as Flora headed for the door.

  ‘God knows. She’s probably premenstrual or something,’ said PJ. ‘Anyone for dancing?’

  Chapter 14

  Hobble, hobble, stomp, stomp, stomp.

  For the next fifteen minutes and seven seconds Flora hobbled along Hay Street trying to get the six short blocks home. The fairy lit trees glimmered in the moonlight casting an ethereal light over her body but she paid no mind. Muttering and cursing, she felt more than a little sorry for herself and the blister she had acquired on her heels in the short journey did little to help at all. Why did nothing ever go right for her? Even attempting to step outside the mould she had created for herself seemed fraught with disaster. Was she destined to be a single old maid for the rest of her life?

  Handbag dangling limply from her left hand, Flora wandered along, dissecting the evening in her head. She was a useless flirt. She couldn’t have been less believable if she’d tried. And Jake’s attentions had had no effect. Luke had just ignored her all the more. Had he meant what he’d said about not engaging in office flirtations? If so, why was he so keen to spend an evening with Louise? It was baffling.

  Looking up and down she crossed the road and walked towards the streetlight in front of her building, delving into her handbag for the gate key as she went. She stopped as a slight breeze tickled her face and danced off into the street trees, making them cast shadows in the moonlight; fluid shadows that looked like spidery figures sitting on the ground in the alcove. If only, she dreamt, if only Luke’s hand was feathering across her face like that.

  ‘Hi.’

  Flora jumped in the dark. The spidery figures could talk. ‘What are you doing here?’

  ‘You seemed upset at the restaurant. I thought I’d make sure you’re alright.’

  That was sweet but frankly, puzzling. ‘How did you know which was my house?’

  From the blackness of the shadows, Luke stood up. ‘Good memory, I guess.’ He smiled faintly, his weight shifting from foot to foot.

  ‘How did you get here so quick?’ Flora breathed. She was trying, desperately, to normalise what was going on in her mind, to figure out what was happening. Asking inane questions seemed the only logical way through it, for at that very minute her heart was breaking into a trot inside her chest at the very realisation that Luke was standing in front of her. Alone.

  ‘Taxi,’ he replied, breaking her train of thought. Damn, if only she’d thought to take a cab. It would have been worth the fifteen bucks to have her feet still attached to her ankles.

  Limping towards the gate, Flora bent down and slipped off her shoes, handing them to him. ‘Hold these for a minute, will you?’

  Luke regarded the strange gift. ‘I’ve never understood the need for women to wear such shoes even though they look beautiful on you. They’re more like a weapon of mass destruction than a fashion accessory.’

  Better watch out then, Casanova, I might take your eye out, Flora thought, as she proceeded, with trembling hands, to try to open the gate. Helpless, she stabbed at the keyhole; chastising herself for becoming incapable of performing the most routine of functions. At last, she heard the click of the lock. Deftly, she plucked the shoes from his hand.

  ‘Thanks. I guess I’ll see you on Monday.’ There was no point in prolonging the agony. Luke was a mass of contradictions she couldn’t handle. On one hand, he claimed to be interested but he did little to prove it. On the other he declared office liaisons to be out of bounds and insisted they should just be friends. She could never make sense of that. And they said women were confusing.

  ‘Flora?’

  ‘Yes?’

  In the darkness she could barely see the outline of his face yet its exquisite beauty was etched inside her brain. Luke was the most beautiful man she had ever met but uncertainty and unpredictability were not something she found easy to deal with. Flora liked to know where she stood. Without another word, she turned to close the gate.

  His hand reached out, barring the way. His large foot blocked the wrought iron path. One step and he was there, between her and the gate, pushing her against the fence. Pinioning her to the cold steel. Trapping her hands above her head as his body pressed against hers.

  ‘Please, Flora,’ he begged.

  Flora thought she was going to collapse. His face, only centimetres from hers, moved closer, so close in fact that all she could do was wait.

  ‘Please.’

  ‘Please what?’ she challenged. ‘You need to explain yourself a bit better.’

  Forcefully, his lips came down on hers. Flora could sense the longing building inside her as he crushed her mouth, and pushed her harder into the gate, winding her fingers through his, trapping her body to him. She could hardly breathe as the tautness of his chest leant against her. He was fighting hard to control himself.

  ‘I couldn’t stand the thought of you with him. Not when you should be with me,’ he murmured against her mouth.

  ‘But…’ How could he say that? It made no sense. How could he say that when he had been with Louise?

  Flora’s head was reeling. Her body was throbbing and somewhere in her sensible head she knew that this was point when she was meant to tell him that they should not be behaving like this. She knew it was but she couldn’t make the words come out, not when her body was so hot, so desperate for him to kiss her again.

  ‘Jesus, Flora.’ His voice was urgent, it’s tones low and husky, like a song filled with the e
xcitement she felt, the inexplicable desire she’d been experiencing since the night they’d first met. His hands were in her hair, tangling the strands on his fingers. His lips were overwhelming hers; his body was burning against her skin. ‘I can’t stand it. I’ve tried to fight it, I’ve tried but I can’t.’ Determined, he cupped her face between his hands and gazed at her face, hypnotizing her, before kissing her again. ‘Can I come in?’

  ‘But I thought we were just to be friends?’ she whispered back, still trying to make sense of it all.

  ‘Did I say that?’ Eagerly, Luke nuzzled in the valley of her neck, ‘Let’s do that at school, shall we?’ His voice was pleading, his lips even more so. They had found a spot at Flora’s throat and were sending her into raptures.

  ‘What about Louise?’

  ‘What about her? I only went with her because it was a chance to see you…. I don’t like her like that.’

  Flora’s breath was shallow. Her heart was pounding. Her body was crying out that she, so, wanted to be more than just friends too and yet the voice inside her was telling her to be sensible, not to give in. Damn that voice! ‘No, Luke,’ she gasped, ‘You said just friends. It was your choice. You can’t keep changing your mind. It’s not fair.’

  His head shot up, his face searching hers. He was silent for a moment as if trying to will her to change her mind. ‘You mean that, don’t you?’

  She nodded. She had no choice. ‘We can’t be together. Ever. You know it as well as I do. We would lose our jobs.’

  Luke pulled away, his dark eyes hurt. Straightening, he cleared his throat. ‘Well. I guess that’s that, then. Friends it is,’ and as quickly as he had materialised from the shadows, he was gone, back through the curled steel gates, leaving Flora standing alone, unsatisfied and bemused in the doorway. She had no idea what had occurred but she decided it had a lot to do with the amount of Saki she’d drunk at dinner.