0373011318 (R)

by Amy Ruttan

  So he didn’t say anything else. If he did she’d push him away.

  Isn’t that what you want?

  And that was something he couldn’t answer.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  “WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED?”

  Vivian glanced back as she worked over Gary Trainer to see Dr. Brigham burst into the trauma pod, looking none too pleased. His face was red as he fumed. This was the Dr. Brigham Vivian remembered. As if it was her fault Gary had seized on stage. Dr. Brigham was two-faced enough to throw her under the bus if it came to it.

  “Mr. Trainer had a seizure on the stage of the Grand Ole Opry,” Vivian replied, turning back to Gary, who was unconscious. She had just made the choice to intubate him and put him in a medicated coma until she could figure out what was going on with him.

  Every time he had a seizure his heart stopped, yet cardio had cleared him. It was a medical mystery, to be sure, and she didn’t need to feel the added pressure of Dr. Brigham breathing down her neck, demanding answers.

  She wanted to find out what was causing this in Gary. It was driving her crazy.

  “Why was he discharged in the first place?” Brigham demanded.

  “He was discharged because we couldn’t find anything wrong with him and he passed a stress test. There was no reason to keep him,” Reece snapped.

  Great. Now Reece was fighting her battles. She didn’t need him fighting her battles. It was bad enough he’d seen her at a weak moment backstage at the Opry. A moment made worse when she’d seen her father’s face in the crowd as she’d worked over Gary. Only it couldn’t have been her father. She hadn’t seen him in many years but how much could he have changed, realistically—he couldn’t afford the Opry. Not when he spent all his money on booze and goodness knows what else.

  Taking care of her mother after her father left had taught her that she didn’t need help fighting her battles. She could take care of herself. Besides, if Reece was fighting her battles, what kind of message would that convey?

  It would tell Dr. Brigham that she couldn’t handle this job, when she knew she could.

  “Yes. Thank you, Dr. Castle. Dr. Brigham, legally, he had every right to leave. I gave him the facts and he decided to leave. Did you really want rumors flying that we unlawfully kept Gary Trainer locked up at Cumberland Mills?”

  Dr. Brigham looked shocked but shut his mouth. It was obviously the right thing to say to get him off her back, but she knew she’d have to watch herself around him.

  “Find out what’s causing this,” Dr. Brigham blustered and he left the trauma pod.

  “You’re doing the right thing,” Reece said as he helped her intubate. It was as if he was reading her thoughts.

  “I just wish I knew what was going on.”

  “You’ll find out what’s going on soon enough.”

  Vivian blushed. She didn’t deserve Reece.

  The intubation was finished and Gary was stabilized, even though he was in a medicated coma. She’d run some more tests and she’d stay as long as it took to find out what was causing his condition.

  “We need to get him down to CT. I want a full body scan and I want some labs drawn. Get me a full array of blood.”

  “Yes, Dr. Maguire,” the resident said. Vivian moved away from the bed and ignored Reece, moving past him. She needed to get into her scrubs and then she was going to head down to the research lab and start searching the neuroscience journals for something. Anything.

  “You know, you’ll never get Dr. Brigham’s job if you snap at him,” Reece said, falling into step beside her.

  “Well, I had to let him know I could handle whatever he threw at me, especially when he’s questioning my medical decisions. And I don’t need you to stick up for me. I can handle my own battles.”

  He frowned. “Why are you getting angry at me?”

  “I’m getting angry at you because he was talking to me. Not you. I can handle Dr. Brigham by myself.”

  “Fine. Handle him by yourself.” Reece turned on his heel and walked the other way.

  Vivian cursed under her breath, regretting her decision to snap at Reece. She always pushed people away because she didn’t want to rely on anyone else. She only wanted to rely on herself. Her mistakes were just that and her wins were also hers as well.

  Just keep walking.

  Only she didn’t listen to that inner voice. She ran after him.

  “Reece, wait.”

  He stopped and looked annoyed with her. “What? Did I step on your toes again?”

  “No. I’m sorry.”

  He cocked an eyebrow. “You’ve been saying that a lot recently.”

  “I know, I know. It’s just I’m not used to this. I’ve forgotten.”

  “Forgotten what? Common courtesy?”

  She rolled her eyes and then laughed. “Shut up.”

  He chuckled. “All right, all right, I accept your apology. I don’t want you to beat me up in the hospital hall.”

  “Please. You know what I meant. I’m not used to dealing with politics and hierarchy like this. I’d forgotten how tough a teaching hospital can be. I’m used to doing what I want and when I want. I’m used to ORs being ready and I’m used to diagnosing patients a lot quicker than this.”

  It took a lot for her to admit that. Especially to Reece. He was a man she could somewhat trust, but not fully. He could still turn around and use that information against her to bring her down.

  She knew how it worked.

  “Your father loves us. He loves us, Vivian. You have to trust him not to hurt us. He’ll come back for us, Vivian. He’ll come back and take care of us.”

  The memory haunted her.

  “I’m sorry you’re so frustrated, but you’ll find the answer.” He didn’t say we and that stung and she didn’t know why. “I know it.”

  “Thank you for the vote of confidence. I don’t deserve it.”

  He shrugged. “You’re a good surgeon, Vivian.”

  “So are you.”

  Reece’s face was unreadable. “Go to Gary and I’ll page you when I take your mother down for her protocol.”

  “You’re doing that tonight?”

  He nodded. “She can’t wait too much longer and the room is available tonight. I was going to tell you after the concert. Get you out of going to that party and mingling.”

  She smiled at him. “Thank you.”

  “Go get Gary dealt with. I’ll wait until his scans come up before I take your mother down.”

  “Thanks.”

  He nodded. “Sure.”

  Vivian rubbed his arm. “Sorry for yelling at you.”

  “I’m used to it.” He winked and smiled but she shrugged his hand off her and walked away. Vivian felt a bit better now that was settled. It put her at ease so that she’d be able to deal with Gary and his mystery illness, because that was the most pressing thing. His life hung in the balance, as did her career.

  Only that wasn’t as important as finding out what was attacking Gary and diagnosing him. Figuring out the mystery was why she’d become a doctor. It was what she loved to do.

  She was going to discover what was ailing Gary Trainer and she was going to get him back on that stage at the Grand Ole Opry.

  But first she needed to go to her office and get changed into her scrubs. Once she had tied back her hair and grabbed her identification she checked her pager to find a message from the resident saying they were just getting into CT scan.

  So she had a few minutes.

  She went to check on her mother.

  When she peeked into the room, her mother was sitting up in bed and watching television.

  “Mama, it’s eleven at night. What’re you still doing up? You need to get your rest.”

  Her mother looked at her. “Dr. Castle said that I was going down to the OR.” She held up her hand to show her that she had an IV. “I haven’t been able to eat or drink for the last couple of hours. He said he’s going to take me after midnight.”

  “
It’s because you’re getting general sedation. That way you don’t feel anything when Dr. Castle gives you the medicine.”

  “If he gives me the medicine,” her mother said. “It’s a blind study. I could get the placebo, which sounds a bit like an amoeba.”

  Vivian laughed and squeezed her mother’s hand. She was so glad her mother was lucid tonight and that they could chat like they used to. The only thing that would make this perfect was being back home in her mother’s comfortable living room, or on the porch drinking sweet tea on a hot summer night.

  “So where were you tonight?” her mother asked.

  “Believe it or not, I was at the Grand Ole Opry.”

  “You’re kidding?” Her face lit up.

  “Not kidding.”

  “What was it like? I bet it was amazing. I always wanted to perform at the Opry.” There was a wistfulness to her mother’s voice which broke Vivian’s heart.

  “It was okay, but I was backstage for a patient.”

  “So you were there when Gary Trainer collapsed?”

  “I was. I administered CPR to him. He’s my patient.”

  “Wow. I can’t believe that.” Sandra smiled and leaned back against her pillows. “So unbelievable.”

  “Why?” Vivian asked. “I’m a neurosurgeon.”

  “I know, darlin’, it’s just that I still see you like that little baby I brought home from the hospital.”

  Vivian laughed. “That reminds me, stop telling Dr. Castle stories about me.”

  “He’s cute,” Sandra said.

  “Mama, you know who Reece is, don’t you?”

  Her mother nodded. “I know. I may not have known before, but I put two and two together. You did the right thing going to Germany. You advanced your career. Now you’re the doctor to Gary Trainer and spending nights at the Grand Ole Opry.”

  “My job’s not all that glamorous,” Vivian teased.

  “Don’t burst my bubble, Vivi.”

  Vivian shook her head and laughed. “I’ll try not to.”

  “So what happens now?”

  “What do you mean?” she asked. “Between Dr. Castle and me?”

  “No, I mean with me.”

  Vivian let out a sigh of relief because she wasn’t sure she could answer her mother or whether her mother would accept any answer she gave. “I’m going to head down to Radiology and check on my patient. I just want you to know I’ll be in the OR with you. You won’t know it, but I’ll be there holding your hand when you’re under and I’ll be here when you wake up.” She leaned over and kissed her mother on the top of her head. “Good night, Mama. Stay out of trouble.”

  She headed down to Radiology and got there just in time for the scans to come up on the computer. The brain was clean; there were no lesions.

  Nothing.

  Damn.

  She scrubbed a hand over her face. She needed time to think. “Email me the scans and take Mr. Trainer up to the ICU. Monitor him closely and if there’s any change, any little blip, page me. I’ll be in my office.”

  “Yes, Dr. Maguire,” the resident said.

  She was going to find out what was ailing Gary Trainer if it was the last thing she ever did.

  * * *

  “Dr. Castle, it’s the active ingredient,” his resident said as he showed him the vial containing the drug and not the placebo.

  Reece smiled behind his surgical mask and nodded. “Thank you.”

  He took the syringe and held it, ready to inject it.

  “You can let Dr. Maguire in now.”

  “Yes, doctor.” One of the nurses headed into the scrub room and brought out Vivian.

  “You can take her hand, Dr. Maguire.”

  Vivian grinned from behind her mask. “Thank you, Dr. Castle.”

  He nodded. “Injecting the protocol.” He peered in the microscope and watched as the active ingredient worked its way into Sandra’s brain. They had to wait a few moments for it to work before they could finish up and revive Sandra.

  He smiled as he glanced over at Vivian, holding her mother’s hand. There was such a tender love there. Something he’d never experienced. He was envious of the connection she had with her mother because it was what he’d always wanted.

  There were times he’d wondered if his parents even wanted him, let alone loved him.

  He wasn’t so sure, since he’d disappointed his father so much by heading to medical school instead of singing.

  “You’re nothing.”

  And the thing was, sometimes he really believed it. He’d really believed he was nothing when Vivian had left all those years ago and then again when his father had died and there was so much left unsaid.

  So much he had wanted to say, but it was too late.

  His father had died while on stage and Reece was busy during medical school. He’d barely made it in time for the funeral and when he had refused to sing his father’s songs he’d managed to upset what little extended family he had left.

  Maybe I should have sung.

  The guilt still ate away at him.

  “How did it go?” Vivian asked, glancing over his shoulder.

  “Beautifully,” Reece said.

  “Thank you.”

  “It’s my job.” And that was the truth, but also he was happy to do it for her. She had such a hold on him. “Okay, well, let’s get her up to Recovery.”

  Vivian leaned over and kissed her mother’s forehead through her surgical mask, while Reece finished.

  He walked out of the OR with Vivian. “You know everyone knows what your mother is in here for, right?” Reece asked.

  “I know. It was mostly the wrist injury I wanted to keep hidden. If everyone knowing she’s my mother means she gets treatment that may help her, then I don’t care if they know my business at this point. My mother is more important.”

  “How were Gary’s scans?” he asked, trying to get his mind off what he’d just witnessed in the OR and to get his thoughts off his father.

  “Clean.”

  “Clean?” he asked in disbelief. “How can they be clean?”

  She shrugged. “I’m about to hit the research lab. I plan to read every darn medical journal about strange neuroscience I can get. There has to be something. It’s almost like Parkinson’s, yet it’s not.”

  “You’ll find it. I have faith.”

  “You’re supposed to be my partner in this, or have you forgotten?” she asked. “You can come to the research lab too, you know.”

  Reece laughed. “I haven’t forgotten, but your specialty is diagnosing the mysterious. The ball is in your court.”

  “Thanks. I think.”

  “You’ll do well. Your mother will be in Recovery for a couple hours and the protocol does have a side effect of migraines so she’s going to be kept pretty much sedated until the morning. So go work. Figure it out.”

  “And where will you be?” she asked.

  “What does it matter?”

  “I guess it was my roundabout way of asking whether or not you wanted to come dive into back issues of neuroscience magazines and medical journals. You were always good at the research.”

  He wanted to do it. He really did, and he wasn’t doing anything now except an OR report. Only he couldn’t. He had to keep his distance from her.

  “I would love to, but I have rounds.”

  He could see the disappointment in her eyes, briefly. “Sure. Well, thanks again for taking such good care of my mother.”

  “It was my pleasure. You’ll figure out Gary’s medical mystery, I have no doubt.”

  “I plan to. I’ll see you around.” Vivian left the scrub room and he cursed under his breath. It was for the best.

  At least that was what he kept trying to tell himself.

  CHAPTER NINE

  VIVIAN HAD BEEN stuck in that lab for two days. Or at least it felt like it. Gary’s condition had stabilized and he was no longer in a medicated coma. He was disoriented and the weakness in his hands was continuing.


  The spinal tap came back clear. As with every other test.

  All she could do right now was keep Gary in the hospital and under constant supervision. She ran between Gary and her mother’s rooms. While she did that she read every neuroscience magazine that she could and she knew that the other neurosurgeons were beginning to question her ability as a diagnostician.

  She heard the gossip. Caught the pointed stares and heard the whispers.

  Her career at Cumberland Mills was riding on this.

  This was why she was brought in, because she was one of the best in diagnosing and solving perplexing medical mysteries that revolved around the brain. She was positive the answer was under her nose, she just couldn’t see it.

  The only one who didn’t question her abilities was Reece.

  He was the only one who had encouraged her, who was kind to her when she clearly didn’t deserve that from him. Not after what had happened in the past. Why did he have to be so nice and caring? Why did he have to take care of her mother so well?

  Why did he have to be such a damn good surgeon?

  And why did he want to be her friend? She didn’t deserve it.

  She didn’t want it.

  Yes, you do.

  “I don’t normally say this, Dr. Maguire, but you look awful,” Gary said weakly from his bed. “You look stressed.”

  “You’re one to talk,” she teased.

  He smiled weakly at her. “You need to get out of this hospital.”

  “I’m not the only one.” She finished her charting. “How are you doing?”

  “Tired. I want out of here too.”

  Vivian’s heart sank. “I know. I’m working on that.”

  “I was supposed to sing at the Red Swallow Bistro down in Printer’s Alley tonight. I got someone else to do it for me—why don’t you go there and have a drink on me? I’ll be fine.”

  “No, I’ll stay close by.”

  “I know you’re off duty, Doc. I asked. Go. It might help refresh your brain too. I have a private table at the Red Swallow. It’s a nice quiet booth. You can have a drink and enjoy some music. Maybe a change of scenery will help you figure out what’s wrong with me.”

  “Did Dr. Castle tell you I’m not a fan of country music?” she asked suspiciously.