Kaiju for Dummies

by Nicholas Knight

  I grab Dr. Klein by the shoulders. “I need you to perform a blood transfusion right now.”

  He blinks rapidly at me and looks confused. “What?”

  I shake him. “I said I need you to do a fucking blood transfusion.”

  Dr. Norman’s at our side, trying to pull my hands free of Dr. Klein. “Aaron, we can’t just go putting your blood into people.”

  “I’m not asking,” I say at her, voice raised. I’m not shouting but I’m close to it.

  “Kid,” Dr. Golf says, stepping away from his microscope to do his best to loom over me. “You want to calm the hell dow—nnnnnnnn” I cut him off, turning his demand into a drawn-out groan with a quick blow to his solar plexus. It’s a sensitive spot and a good punch there can seriously ruin your day and make it hard to breath.

  “Don’t call me kid,” I say, shoving him back while he’s off balance. He stumbled backward but doesn’t fall. “Now let me explain to you what exactly is going to happen. You all are going to put my blood into her.” I jab a finger at Isabella. “And you’re going to do it right now.”

  “Aaron,” Dr. Klein says in a shaky voice that he’s doing his best to keep calm and soothing. “That’s not a good idea. We don’t…that won’t save her. I can’t even begin to cover the risks—”

  “I did not ask for your opinion and I am very nearly out of patience!” Am I roaring? It feels like I am.

  “And if we refuse?” Dr. Norman crosses her arms.

  “You’re all sick,” I say. “From what I see that means you’re dying. Do you want to spend your final hours with your arms and legs broken?”

  Her already pale face loses what little color remains.

  “And if I’m right about this, which I am, we’ll have a fucking cure,” I say. “So move your asses.”

  A hand on my shoulder pulls my attention away from the doctors. I turn to see who it is and Isabella’s fist catches me square in the face.

  It would have been a knockout punch but at the last instant I duck my chin. Fun fact about the jaw, there’s a nerve just behind it that if pinched by say, the sudden force of having a fist crashing into the chin and shoving the jaw into it, will knock a person right out. The brain receives that signal and says “night night, you’re clearly too stupid to stop whatever it is you’re doing on your own.”

  Instead of knocking me out she breaks my nose. I see red. It’s a sharp pain and it sucks.

  “What the hell?” I demand.

  She glares at me. I can’t tell if she’s more pissed off about whatever made her throw that punch or because her professional grade blow didn’t knock me out. If she wasn’t sick she probably would have been too fast for me to react.

  “I should ask you that, dumbass? What do you think you’re doing?” she demands.

  I point back and forth to Max and me. “The Game Masters did something to us. Put something inside of us. Neither of us have been sick since and we’re immune to whatever Plague Doctor dropped on us.”

  I catch the doctors exchanging looks. Dr. Norman mouths the words “Plague Doctor,” looking puzzled.

  “The kaiju,” I clarify. “The giant fucking bug.”

  “And you think that you can make me better by giving me your blood?” she asks. “Are you crazy?”

  “Maybe it’s not as epic as getting mauled by a bear but it’s better than anything else we’ve got,” I say.

  That actually brings a smile to her lips and more puzzlement to the doctor’s faces.

  “You just asked me to kill you rather than letting that sickness get you,” I say. “I’ll do it. I give you my word. But only if you promise we’ll do everything we can to keep that from happening in the first place.”

  She considers me for a moment. Then she looks at Dr. Norman. “Do it.”

  Max shakes his head. “Damn, Aaron. You found someone as crazy as you—whoah. Dizzy.”

  Dr. Norman shares one last look with the other doctors. “It can’t make things worse. Get back to trying to help everyone. I’ll deal with the crazies.”

  The process is a bit anticlimactic. We’re both stuck with needles, of the medical variety, not the kaiju-kind, are hooked up to some clear rubber tubes that are made specially for moving blood. Dr. Norman bustles around doing a few things to get the blood flowing, but I’m not really paying her attention. My eyes are only for Isabella.

  I take her hand. She squeezes my fingers. She’s scared. She hasn’t shown it at all. “You really are kind of amazing,” I say.

  She grins. “Don’t forget it.”

  “And you throw one hell of a jab, even if you’re sick.”

  Her grin turns wicked. “Don’t forget that either.”

  “Here we go,” Dr. Norman says in clear exasperation.

  The red of my blood flows through the tubes like tomato juice through a bendy straw. It flows into a bag lower than my arm. Once it’s full, Dr. Norman hangs it over Isabella, attaches a fresh tube to it, then sticks that tube into Isabella’s forearm. The blood starts to flow again. Isabella braces herself and squeezes my hand tighter still just before it enters her. And then it’s inside of her.

  “Huh,” she says. “Is that it?”

  “Pretty much,” Dr. Norman says, utterly nonplussed. “Really I don’t know what you were expecting.”

  System expanding. Please wait while the update loads.

  I look around in every direction before recognizing the sophisticated female voice of Kaiju War’s AI guide. What the hell is she doing talking to me now? Wait. Update? The last time I got one of those it knocked me out and I woke up with my face covered in blood.

  My face is already bloody, courtesy of my girlfriend, but I do not want or need to experience that kind of pain again.

  “What’s wrong?” Isabella asks.

  My phone chimes with an alert. I don’t pay it any attention.

  “It’s the AI from the game,” I say. “It just said something about an update.”

  “Your phone’s getting a signal!” Dr. Norman exclaims. “You two can talk crazy later. Why the hell aren’t you calling for help?”

  I pull my phone out and try to call. It doesn’t go through. “No service.”

  As I pull the phone away from my face, my eye finds the Kaiju Wars Online app on the screen. And there, over the top right-hand corner of the little icon, is a one in a bright red circle.

  Kaiju Wars Online just sent me a notification.

  Chapter Twenty-One

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  “Stay the hell out of it,” Max says. It’s not surprising that he’s against my logging in to the game. He’s made as much of an effort as me not to log in from the sound of things.

  On the other hand. “Didn’t you just use the game to track me down at the hospital?” I don’t bother to hide my incredulity.

  “That’s different,” he says. “I didn’t actually turn into Solrin and put anyone in danger.”

  “I can’t believe we’re even having this discussion,” Isabella says. “Of course, you’re logging in. What if it’s something about that bug kaiju coming back?”

  Dr. Norman looks back and forth between the pair of them. “Okay, I know you all are crazy but I’m starting to feel like the only one here not in on the weirdness.”

  She’s more right than she knows. The other two doctors have left us to go do what they can for everyone else in need. Unfortunately for her, she looks even worse now than when I got back from the hospital. Sweat drips from her face and she’s so pale I’d be too concerned about what’s ailing her to ever let me treat me if I was her patient.

  “The Game Masters didn’t let us know anything about Titanocobra,” I say, choosing to talk over Dr. Norman. I don’t have time to catch her up on everything and deal with her doubt and questions. Whatever this is, I need to act on it fast. One way or another.

  “It won’t have anything to do with Plag
ue Doctor,” Max says. “Not unless it’s going to be to arrange a showdown between it and Taisaur and…” he trails off with a chuckle. “Sorry, mate, I know you’re used to fighting above your weight class but that thing would demolish you.”

  I’d like to resent him for that but he’s right. For all the size Taisaur’s gained from leveling up since I started the game, he’s barely a fraction of Plague Doctor’s size. If my fight with Titanocobra was like a mongoose taking on a king cobra, this would be a mongoose trying to fight a grizzly bear. It’s not even a contest.

  “I don’t think it would be that,” I say. “They always reached out to us outside the game for those special missions, remember?”

  He shrugs. “Maybe. Doesn’t matter though. Whatever it is, it’s a lure. A trap.”

  “Thank you, Admiral Ackbar,” I say, letting my inner nerd out for just a moment.

  “Aaron, they’re going to fuck you over,” he says.

  No doubt that is the Game Master’s goal. It was actually one of their special missions that led me to uncovering Titanocobra. I’ve no idea what would have happened if I’d never attacked the facility it was buried under. Maybe it would have shown up anyway or maybe it would have stayed buried forever. The thing is, the Game Masters did pay me for that.

  It was a Faustian bargain, no doubt, but it they did keep up their end. The money from that mission’s paid for Mom’s new house and her continued treatment.

  “So, nobody’s going to explain to me what the hell you’re talking about?” Dr. Norman asks in a huff. I get the impression she’s not used to being the only one in a room that doesn’t know something.

  “The giant monsters that are showing up are all part of a videogame and people like us are controlling them,” I say, holding up my phone. “My app’s going to determine the fate of the world.”

  She glares at me for a moment, then rolls her eyes and stomps off. “I’m going to die surrounded by maniacs.”

  Once she’s gone, Isabella says, “You’re right, you know.”

  I am? What am I supposed to be right about? My confusion must show on my face because she says, “You do get to decide the fate of the world with your app. Aaron, I know the game scares you. I know you’re afraid of becoming addicted to it. But we need you to grow a pair.”

  “Wow,” I say. “Just wow. I might get addicted to turning into a giant monster and murdering people en mass, but I need to just get over it.”

  She crosses her arms. “Glad you understand.”

  “Hold on, Sweetheart, you don’t get to say shit about this,” Max says. “You’re not a player. You’ve never been a kaiju or done the things we’ve done.”

  She’s on her feet much faster than I would have expected in her condition, cursing him out in Spanish and closing the difference between them. “I was at ground zero at Ole Miss for Titanocobra, pendejo. Don’t you tell me I do not have the right to say this. People are dying. And you won’t man up and take up arms to defend your world because you’re afraid you might like it.”

  She spits off to the side. “You both are cowards.”

  Max looks like he’s about to do something he’ll very much regret. I hold up a hand. “Okay. Okay. I’m going to check it out.” I take a deep breath and hold up a hand to forestall Max’s argument. “I’m not asking you to do shit, Max, but I’m getting sick and tired of running around like an ant while giant monsters are trying to stomp me flat.”

  I look down at my phone, at the app waiting there for me with the monstrous face and the little red notification in the corner. So innocuous. Banal even. Except for that one, so mundane difference. The screen vibrates and I realize my hand is trembling. I want to touch the app so bad and activate it. I never want to touch the app again. Isabella’s right.

  I log in.

  Welcome back, Mr. Moretti, the familiar voice of the AI says as my login options appear before me. There’s a new option at the bottom that I’m not familiar with. TOP SECRET.

  What the hell? “Hey, help-bot. What’s this?”

  Error. I do not know.

  And that’s not disconcerting in the slightest. “Is everything okay with the chip? The game’s not malfunctioning, is it?”

  Maybe bullying those doctors into doing what I wanted wasn’t such a good idea after all. If something’s wrong with the game, there’s a chance it could be because of an issue with the hardware they put inside of me when I got out of prison. I don’t even know how to go about getting out or handling whatever issues it might give me.

  Diagnostics indicate that all systems are operating under optimal capacity. Hmm, that’s interesting.

  “Interesting?” Since when does this thing make conversational inquiries? It’s a freaking AI. It’s not supposed to be able to think for itself or find things interesting.

  It appears that you have uncovered a feature that has not yet been released to the open beta.

  The open beta? Wait, the Game Masters still consider the game to be in beta? They’d said I was a part of the closed beta. I’d thought that they had already kicked off their madness. If the “game” is still in any form of beta though, that means it’s still being developed. And that there’s a much bigger launch to come.

  “I think I’m going to be sick,” I say.

  I am sorry to hear that. You should try some Pepto-Bismol. Might I suggest, however, prioritizing the selection of TOP SECRET?

  “Sure,” I say, feeling light headed. I am so out of my depth here it’s not funny.

  I select TOP SECRET and find myself standing on an empty expanse of white. I assume that there’s a floor but I cannot distinguish it from the walls or ceiling. It’s surreal. And empty.

  There’s no sound. No smell. There’s not even an apparent source of light, which makes the shadow that suddenly falls over me all the more worrisome.

  Slowly, I turn around and find myself staring at an enormous pair of black, feline paws. My neck cranes back, my eyes traveling up the powerful legs, taking in the black hide and silver stripes, the powerful torso and spikes sticking out the shoulders, all the way to a face that is both familiar and not. Like a black tiger with bat ears and the silver horns of a triceratops.

  I’m standing at Taisaur’s feet. One of his ears twitches and his powerful, spiny tail thrashes behind him.

  I’ve never seen him like this. In person from a worm’s eye view. My sense of scale for Taisaur has always come from comparing him to buildings or other kaiju. Standing here before him, I feel my stomach dropping. Because this is a predator. It’s powerful and wouldn’t even notice if it stepped on me.

  But it has noticed me. Taisaur’s red eyes meet mine and I’m bolted in place. There’s an intelligence there. More though, there’s raw fury. This creature is an avatar of wrath and being in its sights makes me keenly aware of my mortality in a way that I’ve never before felt.

  Until I realize that I recognize the fury in Taisaur’s eyes. I don’t know how I recognize it, but I do. Because it’s mine. When I recognize this I recognize something else. Taisaur might kill me, he’s a monster and destroying things is what he does, but he’s still a part of me even now.

  Taisaur’s lips curl back, revealing silver fangs and he snarls, the sound so powerful it physically shakes my body. It’s so loud that I almost don’t hear the voice behind me.

  “Hello, Mr. Moretti,” says a too soft, cultured voice.

  I turn around, already knowing who it is exactly I’m going to see.

  Dr. Warden offers me a warm smile, ignoring the kaiju towering over me like it’s not even there. “It’s good to see you again.”

  Chapter Twenty-Two

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  Three words come to mind when I think of Dr. Warden. Soft, round, and sinister.

  This man is the world’s most evil teddy bear, with a curly beard and pudgy figure dressed in a tweed suit lacking any sharp edges. If it wer
en’t for those eyes of his he’d look like everyone’s favorite professorial uncle. All sweet, congenial, and trustworthy. But those eyes of his are like someone fashioned them out of obsidian shards and somehow managed to keep the cutting edges. He could slice a Thanksgiving turkey just by glaring at it.

  He’s the man who offered to let me play the game in exchange for getting out of jail for free. He’s the man who offered me an in-game mission that gave me the money to care for Mom. He’s also the man who didn’t tell anyone that his “game” was in fact real and that me, along with over a hundred other beta testers, were actually committing mass murder. He’s the one who made me keep playing even after I realized this, threatening to ruin not just my own life, but Mom’s.

  My fists clench at my sides and Taisaur’s growling rumble deepens. I can feel my entire body actually shaking with it. For his part, Dr. Warden seems completely unperturbed. I might as well be sitting across from him in his psychiatrist office explaining to him how seeing him here makes me feel. I think the snarling kaiju towering over me might be a giveaway.

  “What are you doing here?” I demand.

  He has a habit of appearing unexpectedly, but always in person. I’ve never seen him in the game before. Actually, I’ve never been in the game as myself before. Always it’s been as Taisaur. Seeing another human being here is weird. Weirder still that we’re standing in Taisaur’s shadow. The fact that he’s so calm is disconcerting. If someone who I knew hated my pudgy guts as much as I hate his was standing in front of me with a giant city-destroying monster I would not stand there with a pleasant smile and a smug look in my too sharp eyes.

  “I helped to create this game, Mr. Moretti,” he says. “Is it really so hard to believe that I can step into it whenever I please?”

  I really should have thought of that. Taisaur’s tail thrashes behind him in agreement with my frustration if not my thoughts. When it impacts the all-white never-ending ground, there’s not so much as a shudder from the impact.

  “What is this place?” I ask.