by Harlow James
“Yes. It was surprisingly sweet.”
“It was just Starbucks,” Perry says, unimpressed. The woman doesn’t understand how all of America has become consumed with overpriced coffee full of chemicals and sugar. She actually has a post on her blog about making your own specialty coffees at home for a fraction of the price and calories.
“Yes, but it’s the thought that counts. And he was actually pleasant to talk to this time,” I defend as we find an empty row of seats pretty close to the field. Kickoff is in about ten minutes and the stadium is filling up quickly, so I’m surprised we found seats this close.
Our conversation earlier was actually going somewhere before he started stuttering and retreated like a kid who got caught with his hand in the cookie jar.
“Hey, Olivia,” a blonde woman waves over at me down our row and her familiarity hits me. “It’s Tammy Phillips. I’m married to Drew and teach biology at Emerson,” she adds and then her placement clicks.
“Oh, yes. Hi!” I say a little too enthusiastically. I’ve only been at the school for a week, so it’s impossible to know everyone yet. But I do remember Drew and his heroic rescue with the copy machine, so this is apparently his wife.
She scoots down the bench so she’s seated closer to us.
“Tammy, this is Clara and Perry, two of my best friends. Tammy is another teacher at Emerson.”
My girls both shake her hand and offer her a welcome feeling. “Nice to meet you. So, Olivia, how has this week been? You like things so far? The students haven’t been giving you too much trouble, have they?”
I laugh and then look out on the field as the team jogs on before turning back to her. “No, things have been pretty smooth, despite walking in to a room full of students who haven’t had a teacher for a month. My fifth period is a little rowdy, but it’s nothing I can’t handle. I’ve been doing this for a while.”
She nods and then screams down on the field, her hands cupped around her mouth. “Go Drew! Love you!” Turning back to me, she continues. “Sorry, just have to cheer on my hubby. He’s the head coach.”
“Oh, I didn’t know that.”
“Yeah, he, Holt, and Corey coach the team together. Football season is always the craziest time of year for us, but he loves it. And Kane Garrison helps from time to time. I heard you actually know Kane already,” she winks, which catches me off-guard.
Clara snorts next to me and Perry elbows her in the ribs.
“Uh, yeah. I’ve met Kane.”
“Oh, yeah, they’ve met alright,” Clara mumbles under breath as Perry smacks the back of her head. “What the hell, Perry? Don’t think I won’t fight you just because we’re at a high school football game.”
“Shut up. You’re making this awkward for Liv.”
“Did I miss something?” Tammy asks, her eyes bouncing back and forth between the three of us.
I clear my throat and quickly think of something to divulge about how I know Kane without revealing the truth, but then decide to fish for information.
“How do you know that I know Kane?”
“Well, Drew and he are best friends, and he might have shared your little copier incident with me. Seems Kane was quite the ass to you,” she quirks her eyebrow.
I fiddle with my fingers just as the announcer asks the crowd to stand for the National Anthem. Once the choir has finished a beautiful rendition of the song, the four of us take our seats and resume the conversation.
“Yeah, he wasn’t very pleasant.”
“Well, Drew made him feel like shit afterwards, just so you know.”
“Really? Is that why he brought me coffee this morning then? Because Drew told him to?”
Tammy blinks at me a few times before the corners of her mouth curl up into a devious smile. “Nope. He just told him not be to a dick. If he brought you coffee, that was all on his own accord. Hmmm…” she hums while turning her attention to the field, and the four of us watch the kickoff, cheering when our team makes a killer thirty-yard return.
“What do you mean, hmmm?” Clara interjects as Tammy turns to us and shrugs her shoulders.
“Let’s just say, I’ve known Kane for a while and I’ve never known him to be one to apologize, let alone bring a woman a coffee.”
“Interesting…” Clara chuckles while nudging me with her elbow.
“What?” I quickly turn my head in her direction, pulling my focus from the game I was just enriched in.
“Did you hear what Tammy just said?”
“No. Sorry, I was into the game.”
Tammy laughs. “No worries. Just told your friends here that Kane isn’t the type to apologize to a woman, especially with coffee.”
I swallow hard, a lump forming in my throat and the need for a drink of water consuming me.
“Really?”
“Yup,” Tammy nods smugly before taking a sip of her soda and changing the subject. “So, now that you’re part of the Emerson family, I’ll be the first to offer you an invitation to our house next weekend for our fall mixer,” she smiles.
“Fall mixer?”
“Yeah. Each quarter, the staff organizes a mixer/party where we all get together and hangout outside of school. Drew and I usually host at our place, since we have a large property and no children yet,” she looks down at her hands and then sighs.
“You okay?” I ask while placing a hand on her shoulder. When she looks up at me, I see tears in her eyes.
“Gosh, I shouldn’t even be telling you this since we just met, but sometimes I can’t control the wave of emotions that comes over me when I inadvertently bring it up.” She takes a deep breath and then continues. “Drew and I were pregnant this summer, and then I miscarried.”
“Oh, God, Tammy. I’m so sorry,” I rub her shoulder as Clara and Perry offer their condolences as well. I can’t imagine the pain she must feel. I don’t have a family yet, obviously—but it’s something I definitely want. And I couldn’t imagine losing a baby I so desperately craved.
“Thank you. It’s been hard. We’re trying again now, but every time I’m reminded that we still don’t have a family, it makes me burst into tears,” she waves her hands in front of her face trying to calm herself. “Ugh! Sorry for putting a damper on the conversation.”
“Hey, no judgment here from us. I promise.” Clara and Perry both nod beside me.
“I had a miscarriage too between my two kids. It’s a pain I’ve never felt before. Just try to remain positive and keep loving Drew. You’ll get through it,” Perry offers while taking her hand.
“Thanks. So anyway, back to the mixer… it’s next weekend. You have to come! And you ladies can come too!”
“I’ll be in New York,” Clara answers.
“My daughter has a dance recital,” Perry adds.
I turn from my friends back to Tammy. Her open heart is so visible, you can’t help but want to be this woman’s friend. And hey, maybe getting to know some of my new co-workers will help pull me out of my funk.
“Well, I will definitely be there.”
“Great! Let me get your number,” she digs through her purse to fetch her phone. We trade contacts and then turn back to the game.
“So why is Kane down there if he’s not really a coach?” I ask, finding myself a little too curious about the man who gave me coffee this morning who doesn’t normally give women coffee.
“Well, he tried coaching when he first started here, but uh… couldn’t go through with it.”
My eyebrows draw together as I question the reason.
“Why?”
Tammy shakes her head before meeting her eyes with my own. “Kane is a complex guy, Liv. He’s been through a lot in his life and has some demons, although I think we can all agree that everyone does.” We all nod at her in understanding. “But his demons are for him to tell, not me.”
“I understand,” I mumble and then search for the man in question on the field. His back to us, arms crossed over his body, his legs spread wide in his stance—
he looks every bit of the coach, but also a man who’s very guarded.
Even just in the brief interactions we’ve had—besides the primal sex—I can tell he’s masking something. And the more I stare and the more I appreciate his physical form, the more I want to know about what’s in his head—or even his heart.
The four of us watch the game on the edge of our seats, reminiscing about our high school memories of attending the same rivalry match but I was cheering down on the field. Tammy fits in perfectly with my friends, making me appreciate having another person on my side through this challenging phase of my life.
The older you get, the more you realize how hard it is to find people you click with. Everyone has their own agendas and problems. Some people are still drawn to the drama of life you find in your teens and early twenties. And once you hit a certain age, you realize you just want to be surrounded by people that bring out the best version of you. People who are like-minded, share some common feelings about life, and genuinely want to get to know the real you. Tammy is definitely one of those people.
The game ends with a victory for Emerson Falls, the crowd going wild beneath the florescent lights. The rumble of feet pounding the bleachers echoes in the stadium and fans and families rush the field to congratulate the players.
“Come on! Let’s go congratulate the boys!” Tammy stands and pulls me up by my arm.
“Oh, I don’t know…” I deflect, not sure if running into Kane right now is the best decision. After he left my room this morning in a funk, I’m reluctant to make it seem like I’m chasing after him. I know he said he was sorry, but then he got all weird and stuttered and left in such a hurry, I wasn’t sure what to think.
“Hey, we’re gonna head out. But go, Liv. Go see the boys,” Clara wags her eyebrows at me while Perry nods in agreement. Whispering in my ear, she adds, “Go talk to him. Keep this momentum going. I know I’m right. I think that one night was more to him too. You can keep convincing yourself otherwise, but my gut is telling me you need to make a move.”
I shake my head at my friend as a slight grin dances on my face. “You’re crazy, Clara. But fine, I will go congratulate the team. You girls be careful getting home, okay?”
“Always. Love ya, Liv,” Perry kisses me on the cheek before they stomp up the staircase in the opposite direction of where Tammy is now leading me.
“So, are you sure we’re allowed to be going down here?” I ask in trepidation, the nerves from seeing Kane again making my hands tremble.
But sure, you don’t feel anything for him. Keep lying to yourself, Liv.
“Uh, do you see the hundreds of people on the field right now? Yes, I’m sure it’s alright,” Tammy laughs at me as we push through the gate and stride across the dirt track to the edge of the football field.
“Congrats Coach! What a game!” She shouts as she runs up to Drew and tackles him, jumping in his arms as he catches her with the biggest smile on his face.
“Does that mean I’m getting lucky tonight?” He whispers a little too loudly in her ear, making me chuckle behind my hands.
“Oh, shit. Sorry, Olivia,” he laughs when he sees me while setting Tammy back down. “I take it you met my wife finally,” he pulls Tammy into his side, kissing her on the head.
That right there. That’s the kind of love that I want.
“Yes. We actually watched the game together and talked a bit.”
“Yup. I invited her to the mixer next weekend too. She’s got to meet more of the staff. I kind of have a girl crush on her,” she winks at Drew, just as Kane comes up behind him.
“Good game, man,” he pats Drew on the shoulder with the most genuine smile on his face, before he turns and locks eyes with me, his smile falling almost instantaneously.
Wow. Well, there’s a boost to my ego if I ever needed one.
Not.
Drew watches Kane’s face fade, then elbows him in the rib cage hard, causing him to buckle over as a giggle escapes my lips. The pain etched on Kane’s face isn’t funny, but Drew catching him off guard was.
“You think that’s funny?” He asks, popping his head up far enough to watch my face.
“Well, from what I know of you, you probably deserved it,” I shrug as Tammy bursts into a fit of laughter.
“Oh, now I like you even more, Olivia. Smart, classy, and can give Kane the shit he deserves.”
“Told ya,” Drew whispers in her ear while they both fixate on me.
Okay, kinda creepy.
“Fuck man, what the hell was that for?” Kane finally stands back up, rubbing at his rib cage where Drew clocked him. His shirt rides up just enough to offer a peek at the tan and ink-covered skin I remember so vividly from a week ago.
Those toned abs, that well-defined chest, those tattoos I wish I had time to trace with my tongue… I can feel my cheeks turn red as I stare, so I turn around quickly to hide my face.
“Olivia, are you okay?” Tammy comes up behind me, circling to my front to take in my expression.
“Yup, just fine,” I mumble behind my hands covering my cheeks and part of my mouth.
She narrows her eyes at me and then smiles that knowing smile.
“What’s going on?” She asks, searching my eyes for a clue.
Shit, does she know? Did Kane tell Drew, and Drew tell Tammy?
I spin back around, glaring at Kane and searching Drew’s face before I grab Kane’s hand, dragging him across the field, away from the students and families, and away from prying ears and eyes, around the corner into a dimly lit tunnel between the locker rooms where we can speak in private.
“What the hell?” He grunts when we finally stop, yanking his hand back from my grasp.
“What the hell? Do Drew and Tammy know about us?”
Kane’s silence is enough of an answer.
“Seriously? I thought we were trying to keep this between us?” I’m exasperated and the fury I felt towards him earlier this week is back with a vengeance.
“Hey! You can’t tell me that you didn’t tell your girlfriends about what happened between us, right?”
I shake my head. “That’s different! They don’t work with us!”
“Well, Drew is my best friend, and he just happens to work with us. Plus, he kind of put two and two together after how we acted towards each other in the teacher lounge. And if anyone was watching the way you dragged me across the field just now, I’m sure suspicions are already starting to fly.”
I sigh and then turn around, my hands running along my scalp as I pull on my hair in frustration.
“Great! It’s only a matter of time before the whole staff knows now…”
Kane steps forward, his hands gripping my shoulders so I’m forced to face him and can’t move.
“No. Drew and Tammy are good people and they wouldn’t do that. Believe me. Plus, I don’t know if Drew actually told Tammy we slept together. All she knows is that I was an ass to you. Drew told me that much. So stop stressing and take a deep breath.”
Surprisingly, with Kane’s grasp on my body, I do feel calmer, more at ease. His large hands make me feel capable of handling this, knowing he’s holding me up.
And maybe he’s right. All Tammy said earlier was that she knows Kane was a dick to me. Maybe she doesn’t know the whole truth.
When Kane’s hands leave my shoulders, I sink back, remorseful for the lack of contact now and embarrassed for my overreaction.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have overreacted.”
“Yup.”
“Yup? That’s all you’re going to say?”
“Yes. I agree. You way overreacted.”
“You really are a dick, aren’t you?”
He laughs and then looks back over his shoulder to the field. When his head moves back in my direction, there’s a glint to his eyes that reminds me of what he looked like that night in the bar. The carnal lust that poured out of this man as he offered me a good time and then fucked me into oblivion.
My pulse is racing
as he takes a few steps to me, my feet retreating until my back hits the brick wall of the tunnel we’re still encased in.
Leaning down while his hands on the wall lock me in place, Kane runs his nose along the column of my throat before lining up his mouth to my ear. I can hear my own breathing as I wait for his words.
“This is me, Olivia. I am a dick, a man who doesn’t know how not to be honest and sugar coat my words.”
I swallow hard as I feel the pounding of my pulse beneath his nose on my throat. “What about that sweet side you showed me earlier? Bringing me coffee? That doesn’t seem like a dick move…” I whisper, my hands reaching up to hold on to his broad shoulders, reminding me of what it felt like to grip them while he fucked me.
“That was a rare move for me, I promise you. But then I rushed out this morning in the middle of our conversation… see? Dick move.”
I lean back so that I can search his eyes, desperately seeking some answers to this puzzle of a man in front of me. First, he offers himself up on a silver platter for one night of fuckery—and boy, did he deliver. Then when we meet again, he acts like an ass when he claims I can’t keep my emotions in check about our one-night-stand. Next, he apologizes with a coffee—which I found utterly sweet, yet confusing. And then he runs out of my room in the middle of a conversation that actually felt like we were two normal people who could possibly be friends.
Now, he has me pressed up against a wall, the sexy rasp of his voice filling my ears and the gold flecks of his eyes glowing like the eyes of a wolf who’s stalking its prey.
See my confusion here?
“What do you want from me, Kane?”
I watch Kane study me, his eyes bouncing back and forth between mine and my lips. I can smell the scent of his laundry soap, mixed with that woodsy smell of his cologne from the other night.
He smells like a man, a man that has put my mind in more of a tailspin than Trevor ever did. When Trevor cheated, it definitely stung. But it didn’t confuse me. In all actuality, I think I kind of expected it.
But nothing that Kane has done since our night together is something I would have expected. I feel whiplash from the way he’s dragging me in and throwing me back out. I need some answers.