by Harlow James
“I, uh, was actually thinking about inviting her over to my place next weekend…”
Drew spits out his beer and Tony stops cold as he wipes a glass.
“Seriously, Kane?” Tony speaks first, both of them clearly caught off-guard.
“Yeah.”
“Dude, you’ve never taken a woman home. Are you sure?”
As Drew questions me, the only word that comes to mind is yes. It’s true. Ever since I purchased the place, it’s only been for me. Drew and Tammy have been by, and my parents when they were down to visit. But never once—in the last three years—have I brought a woman back to my house. I’ve never wanted to—until Olivia.
I nod. “Yeah, I think so.”
“Fuck, he is in love,” Tony declares, completely serious. I gaze up at him from my seat and don’t have the desire to fight back this time.
Maybe he and Drew are right. Maybe I am on the way to falling in love with Olivia…
Chapter 29
Olivia
Finally feeling human again after a visit to urgent care over the weekend, I saunter back into work on Monday to a heap of papers to be graded and a mile-long to-do list. I’m so entrenched in work and lesson planning for two days, I barely come out of my classroom and pass out on my couch as soon as I get home, still recovering slightly from my cold.
Despite a few texts here and there, I don’t see Kane until Wednesday. Each night though, we talked on the phone or texted and he asked me more questions—the light ones that reveal more facts than anything. I love that he saves the deep ones for when we’re together so I can embed myself in his warmth I’ve come to crave and see every emotion grace his chiseled face as we share more pieces of ourselves.
I insisted he stay away until I felt normal, but the man was relentless about seeing me, bribing me with cupcakes and coffee. I held him off, but by the middle of the week, I caved.
“Hey, beautiful,” Kane greets me as he closes my classroom door behind him. He’s dressed in a white button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, the top two buttons open. Navy blue slacks hug his muscular legs and highlight that narrow waist I can’t wait to explore again—knowing exactly what that sexy V leads to—and brown leather dress shoes skid across the floor as he makes his way over to me. His hair is casually styled and his beard looks better than ever. Damn, this man does things to my libido.
“Hi, handsome,” I reply just as he finally reaches me, grabbing me by the hips and pulling me into him.
“Are you no longer contagious?”
“Nope. I even sound like myself again,” I state while pointing to my throat.
“Thank God. I was beginning to think I was dating Kermit the Frog’s long-lost cousin there for a while.”
I suck in a sharp breath, playfully hitting him in the arm for his joke. “You take that back! I did not sound that bad. If anything, I sound more like a man when I’m sick, like my younger brother, or something.”
“Speaking of which, when do I get to meet your family?”
His question throws me off-track because I didn’t think we were at that point yet. Throughout our conversations this week, we talked more about our families. I learned he’s an only child and his parents still live in northern Oregon. And I explained my family dynamic to him, including my four best friends that my parents pretty much adopted.
But the holidays are fast approaching. Thanksgiving will be here in a few weeks, and then Christmas and New Year’s. I would love to introduce Kane to my family. I just didn’t know that was something he was considering.
“You want to meet them already?”
“I mean, if you don’t want me to, that’s fine. I just thought, might as well. I’m curious about the people that made you who you are,” he says while one hand comes up to caress my face, his calloused palm cupping my jaw as his thumb lightly touches my skin.
His inquisitiveness keeps taking me by surprise, coming from a man who was apprehensive about dating. He was the one I felt I would need to tread lightly around, ease gently into all of the steps of getting to know someone. Yet, suddenly, I feel like his increase in pace is all on his own accord. The look on his face solidifies his stance.
He’s not wavering. He’s not retracting. He’s standing strong in his interest in me.
“I would love for you to meet them. We have dinner together every Sunday. Maybe one of these nights you can join us.”
He kisses me on the nose and then retreats, leaving me desperate for more than just a peck. “Sounds perfect. So, what are your plans for this weekend?”
“Well, I do believe I owe you a date,” I smirk.
“Agreed. How would you feel about me cooking you dinner at my place?”
“Your place? Are you sure?” I know how Kane feels about his home, his place of solitude that he is ornately proud of. Every conversation where he’s told me about his house, he makes a point that it’s his getaway—his one place to escape to when he needs space from the world.
“Yes. I want you there. I want to cook for you and then maybe we can watch a movie or something…”
Or something. Yeah, I’m definitely in the mood for something.
“I’ll be there. Text me your address and what time you want me there,” I say while trailing my hands up his arms, reaching to lock my fingers around his neck and pulling him down to me so our lips are but a whisper apart. I can feel Kane’s pulse on my forearms, his chest rising and falling with each breath he takes as both of his hands circle my hips again.
“Good,” he whispers before closing the gap between us and lowering his lips to mine. The soft brush of his mouth wakes up every inch of my body, searing our skin together in a blaze so hot, I feel like my fever from earlier in the week is returning.
Kane’s hands move from my hips up my back, splaying across my body in a protective hold that is both powerful, but tender, drawing me closer to him. His tongue collides with mine in a dance that makes me forget we’re at work, forget we once couldn’t stand to be near each other—hell, he’s making me forget my own name right now.
I soak up every touch of our mouths, every groan, every caress of finger tips across our bodies, reminding myself that it’s only a matter of days before we can be completely immersed in each other again. I want him—all of him—but my professionalism is going to win this time.
“Kane,” I exhale, cutting our kiss short while we both struggle to catch our breaths.
“Fuck. Sorry, Liv. I just… I’ve been dying to do that for days.”
His confession makes me smile like a teenager. “Believe me, it was worth the wait. But we need to be careful at work. There will be more time for that this weekend,” I look up at him from beneath my lashes, lacing my words with intention.
And by the way he’s looking back at me, his eyes full of heat—he gets my message. “Without a doubt.”
“Okay, well I need to get back to work,” I stutter, trying to find my footing while escaping the confines of his arms, willing my heart and mind to stop racing and the normal color to return to my cheeks.
“Yeah, me too. I’ll see you soon, Liv,” he winks at me before turning on his heels and exiting my room.
The next two days crawl by as I anxiously await the next time Kane and I are alone, with only each other to hold our attention and not the needs of 175 teenagers, helicopter parents, and data-obsessed administrators breathing down our necks. Sometimes the stress of the job can be daunting. Grateful for our date to look forward to, it gives me the push to finish the week out strong and enjoy my night with Kane.
Saturday morning, I wake up later than normal to the sun peeking through the blinds and the hum of the heater coming through the vents of my apartment. I can finally breathe through my nose again and feel completely healthy. Stretching out my limbs in bed, I roll over to check my phone and see a text from Kane.
Kane: Good morning, beautiful. Here is my address. Dress comfortably and bring your appetite. Can’t wait to see you.
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br /> His message instantly draws a smile from my mouth, making my entire body come alive with anticipation. I program his address into my GPS for later and then set about ticking off my chores as normal.
I brew myself some coffee, fry up a few scrambled eggs with cheese and avocado, get thirty minutes in on my elliptical, and finish all of my laundry before showering and relaxing before I have to get ready.
Choosing leggings and a long sweater, I get dressed before I pull my hair in a ponytail high off my neck and leave my make-up light. I check my appearance in the mirror one more time before leaving—nodding my head in approval—grab my coat from the hook by the door, and make my way to my car before sliding in, cranking the heater, and heading for Kane’s home.
“Are you on your way there?” Clara’s voice booms through the Bluetooth speaker as I cruise along the highway.
“Yes. Tell me why I feel so nervous…”
“Because you know you’re going to have sex with him again tonight,” she states firmly.
“Ugh, you don’t know that. What if we’re taking things slow?” I say, trying to convince myself. But it’s a lost cause. If we don’t sleep together again tonight, I might self-destruct.
She huffs. “Please. You’ve already slept together. What’s the point? Now what you should be worried about is if it will be as good as it was last time.”
Her words make my stomach feel unsettled. Shit. I didn’t even think of that. What if the first time was a fluke? What if it was the booze and not this intense physical connection I thought we shared?
“Earth to Olivia…”
“Huh?” I answer, focusing back on our conversation and not the river of doubt swimming through my mind.
“Don’t worry, Olivia. I’m sure you’ll be fine. Hell, it will probably be better because you know each other now. One-night-stands are usually awkward, but from what you’ve told me… it seems like you both knew there was more there that first night. And I bet the sexual tension is so hot between you two right now, he’ll jump you the second you walk through his door.”
The image of Kane pressing me up against the door and having his way with me turns my insecurities completely around.
“That would be nice, but I’m not counting on it.”
“Really? Tell me this… did you shave your legs, among other things?”
I pause, knowing my friend knows me all too well.
“That’s exactly what I thought,” she laughs through the phone, making me groan.
“Shut up. Okay, I need to get off of here. I’m almost there.”
“You’d better come up for air at some point this weekend and let me know how it goes. You know, when your mouth isn’t full of Kane’s..”
“OKAY! I’m going! Love you!” I shout, cutting her off and ending the call before she can utter another word. Sometimes the woman can be the voice of reason I need to hear, and other times, she’s the bane of my existence. She knows just how to ruffle my feathers and get a reaction out of me.
And after talking to Clara, I’m not sure if I feel better or more nervous about my night with Kane.
Chapter 30
Kane
Olivia: I’m on my way.
Sitting on my couch, I stare at her text for the tenth time in the last five minutes, itching with anticipation for her to arrive. Prior to her message, I was staring up at the blades on my fan as they spun around, getting lost in the movement to calm my anxiety.
I shouldn’t feel this unsettled at the thought of Olivia arriving. Hell, when I asked her to come over I was sure it was what I wanted. But now that it’s happening, I’m fully aware of how monumental this is. I made a huge choice—a step forward with her—and it’s both exhilarating and terrifying at the same time.
“So how are things going with Olivia?” Dr. Martinez asked as I settled into her couch yesterday afternoon. After my self-appointed visit a few weeks ago due to my panic attack, she insisted I come back to check in with her sooner rather than later.
“Really well, actually. We’re establishing a friendship. I’ve been asking her questions to get to know her, which kind of backfired, but then worked to my advantage,” I chuckle. “I’ve taken her on a few dates and… we’ve kissed a few times. She, uh, got sick last week and I made sure to bring her medicine and food so she could recover quickly...”
“You seem shocked that you did those things, Kane. Why is that?”
Her question resonates with me as soon as she says it. Shocked? Am I startled by my actions?
Yes.
“I didn’t realize it would be this easy. Moving on. Moving forward from Natasha. I’ve been so afraid for years to allow myself to let anyone else in. But it doesn’t feel that way with Olivia.”
“And why do you think that is?” She asks, straightening her back in her chair and pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose.
Honestly, I’m not sure.
Is it because enough time has passed and in combination with seeing a therapist, I’ve been able to deal with my anger? Is it because I’m older now and have more life experience? It is because I’ve realized that Natasha and T.J.’s actions belong in the past and don’t need to dictate my future?
Or is it her?
Is she the only reason this is easy for me? Is it because I’m genuinely attracted and drawn to Olivia, and no one else? Would I even be able to feel this way for another woman?
The thought of any other woman in my arms and against my lips makes my stomach turn.
“I think there are many reasons… but most importantly, I think it’s just because it’s her.”
The smile that graces Dr. Martinez’s face makes a wave of pride spread across my chest.
“When you find a person you feel is worth the effort, it makes moving on easier, Kane. I’m happy to see this side of you—the man who has patched up his wounds, owns his scars, and is now making progress in healing.”
Standing from the couch, I walk over to the large bay window that covers a good portion of the front of my house, flipping my fan off before watching the darkness overtake the sky and the stars appearing in the black blanket above us. My hands find the pockets of my jeans and I let out a long sigh, waiting for Olivia to arrive, knowing that slowly but surely, this woman is helping me heal.
The weight I’ve been carrying around on my shoulders is lightening, the anger I’ve been holding onto is dissipating, and the feeling of longing for someone again is returning full force the more time I spend with her. I’ve caught myself smiling, appreciating small moments throughout my day that I would never have focused on before—and I know that’s because of her.
She’s made life have meaning again.
I spent so much time today getting ready for tonight. I woke up early—as usual—got my workout in, showered, went grocery shopping, cleaned my entire house from top to bottom, and then showered again and got dressed for our date.
Just as I turn to assess my house one more time, I see headlights flash in the window, directing my attention back to the view of my front yard. The bounce of the white orbs mesmerizes me as my pulse picks up, knowing in just a few short moments, there will be a woman in my home—my place of reprieve—my sanctuary that no other woman has seen.
Her car stops and the headlights shut off just as the porch light activates from the movement of her standing from her car. And when I see her—her long, deep red hair pulled up off her neck, her eyes sparkling from the glow of the porch light, her long legs covered in black leggings and knee-high boots and a navy coat warming her body—all of my anxiety ceases to exist.
Instead, all I feel is need—a need for her to be right next to me—in my arms, in my home.
I gather my wits and race for the door, opening it before she has a chance to knock.
“Hi,” she smiles as soon as she sees me and fuck, if it doesn’t send a dagger of hope to my chest.
“Hey, beautiful. Come on in,” I say, holding the door open for her as she steps inside, shivering from th
e cold atmosphere outside. The rush of icy air offers a reprieve from the intense heat climbing in my body from my nerves, but I shut the door quickly as to not let the warmth of the house escape.
“Let me take your coat,” I offer, helping her discard her jacket and hanging it in the closet by the front door. “Well, welcome. This is my home,” I wave my hand through the air, directing her attention to the living area directly to the left of the door. The high ceilings with wooden beams create an open concept living area, connecting the living room, dining room, and kitchen. The couch and a recliner are situated around a handmade coffee table I built with my grandfather before he passed, directed at the flat screen TV hanging on the wall. Behind the furniture is a fireplace, roaring with flames from the logs I lit earlier today to warm up the house before the cold made it impossible.
I grab Olivia’s hand as I lead her through the living room and into the kitchen which opens up to the living room space, directing her to take a seat at the island covered in white marble.
“Kane, your house is beautiful. Was it like this when you moved in?”
“Not everything. I’ve done a lot of the work myself or with help from Drew and the boys at school—Holt and Tanner that is, not our students.”
Olivia laughs at my joke before turning back around to admire my house. I have to say—the fact that she approves makes my heart swell with pride.
“Well, it’s amazing. Seriously—it’s like a modern-day log cabin in the woods. And it’s so quiet out here… no wonder you love it,” she says before turning back to me. “Thank you for having me here.”
I relish in the sincerity of her tone and then move the evening forward.
“You’re welcome. So, I hope you’re hungry.”
“Always,” she smirks, leaning forward on the counter, resting her chin in her hands propped up on her elbows. She looks adorable and I want to kiss that smirk off of her face.
Focus, Kane. Food first, kissing later.
“Okay, well the food won’t take long. I have the rice in the rice cooker and I just have to throw the salmon and veggies in the oven to roast,” I declare while moving around the kitchen to gather the ingredients. I purposely chose something quick and easy, and something I knew I couldn’t fuck up, not wanting to risk the distraction of her while I was cooking, causing me to burn our meal.