The Wonder of Your Love (A Land of Canaan Novel)

by Beth Wiseman

  “It must have been so hard for you.” Katie Ann couldn’t remember having such a deep conversation with Ivan. Ever.

  This was nice.

  “Looking back, I should have tried harder. I’m sure Sarah was right. It would have been better for the kinner to have had a mudder, and it was selfish of me not to have tried harder to find them one.” He took a sip of his coffee. “There were babysitters and family members who helped, but I was young, and I thought I could do everything myself. Prove to Sarah that I didn’t need anyone else.” He put his coffee on the coffee table, then reached over and touched her hand. “I’m sorry.

  I’ve mostly been talking about me. Tell me about you.”

  Katie Ann told Eli about her childhood . . . and even told him about Annie. “Mei sister was only four months old when she just went to sleep and didn’t wake up.”

  Eli’s eyes never left hers as she spoke, and even though he didn’t seem to have any words for her loss, his eyes blinked with sadness and compassion. She also told him how she and Ivan tried for years to have a baby, but she skimmed quickly over the part about Lucy and how Ivan eventually left her.

  “That must have been so hard for you.”

  She wasn’t sure if Eli meant when Ivan left or when he died. In some ways, it was as if he died the day he walked out the door.

  It had been a surprisingly good evening. They’d taken turns getting coffee refills and even shared a piece of shoofly pie. But it was getting late. She glanced at the clock as she stifled a yawn.

  “I saw that.” Eli grinned. “I remember how it is to have a little one. You’re probably already thinking about how many times you will be getting up with him during the night. I’m going to go. It’s almost nine o’clock.”

  Katie Ann stood up, tired, but not anxious for him to leave. “I’ve enjoyed tonight.”

  “Me too.”

  She followed him to the door and waited as he got bundled up. “I’m sure Elam and Vera have a heavy blanket in the buggy. You’ll need it.” She handed him his hat. “How is your head? And your back?”

  He grimaced a bit as he put his hat on. “I might be a little sore, but I’ll think of you fondly.” He laughed before he leaned down and hugged her. Then he kissed her on the cheek. “Danki. For everything.”

  “You’re welcome. See you at church on Sunday?”

  “If not sooner.” He winked as he headed out the door.

  Katie Ann picked up Jonas and carried him to his bedroom. As she dressed for bed, she realized that this had been the best night she’d had in years. And for the first time since she’d met Eli Detweiler, she regretted that all they would ever be is friends.

  AS ELI DROVE home, he thought about the way Katie Ann always seemed to have one eye on Jonas, especially when the baby was in Eli’s arms. But hearing her story about Annie explained why she might be unusually jumpy and protective about the child. He was glad that she’d shared some intimate details about her life and wondered when he would see her again. Then he remembered that he had left Elam’s toolbox up on her roof and smiled to himself.

  If only he’d met Katie Ann sixteen or seventeen years ago, right after Sarah had died. But no sooner had he had the thought than he wondered if he would have felt the same way about her.

  His grief for Sarah probably would have kept him from seeing Katie Ann. Not only that, but Eli knew that he was not the same person he was seventeen years ago. He tried to speculate what Katie Ann must have been like as a younger woman.

  Why, Lord, is she in my path now? Eli was not going to veer from the plans he’d made, but he found himself caring about Katie Ann in a way he never anticipated. But he would be leaving on Tuesday, and once he was back in his surroundings, he’d work for a few weeks, then schedule one of the many short trips he’d planned to take. Maybe he would send her a postcard from his travels, check on her and Jonas occasionally.

  Then that kiss flashed in his mind again and he shivered, only partly from the cold.

  Nine

  KATIE ANN DRESSED IN A NEW GREEN DRESS FOR worship service, one she’d just finished hemming a few days ago. She bundled Jonas in a thick blue jumpsuit, a handmade gift from Lillian. Sometime over the past three days the toolbox had slid off the roof, and she’d repacked all Elam’s tools to take to him today. It was already loaded in her buggy, and she tried to shed the disappointment she felt that she hadn’t heard from Eli since he left Wednesday night. She’d thought he would at least come by to pick up the tools. Or to say hello. Something. Maybe he hadn’t enjoyed their time together as much as she had.

  She’d treasured her time with Martha on Thursday and Friday evening. Thursday, Katie Ann cooked what she and her friends called Lazy Wife’s Dinner, a casserole with noodles, cheese, potatoes, carrots, and beef. And she prepared a side dish of creamed celery for Martha. On Friday night Martha brought supper—a pizza she’d picked up in Monte Vista, and that was just fine by Katie Ann. Martha tried to grill her about Eli, but Katie Ann wiggled her way out of saying too much, especially since she hadn’t heard from him since he left.

  On Saturday, Martha had stopped by early in the afternoon, saying she wasn’t feeling well and that she wouldn’t be at church service the following day. “Everyone will probably think I croaked,” she’d said.

  Katie Ann’s stomach churned.

  Once Jonas was buckled in beside her, she clicked her tongue, setting the buggy in motion. Church service was being held at the home of Vera and Elam’s oldest son, Jacob, and his wife, Beth Ann. It was their first time to host worship service since their wedding the year before.

  She wondered how much more sightseeing Eli had done over the past three days. The weather had been unusually warm for mid-November, sunshine and mild temperatures. She fought the feeling of disappointment that he hadn’t invited her to tag along.

  It was almost eight o’clock when she pulled into Jacob and Beth Ann’s driveway. In their small community, there were never more than about fifty people at worship service—a small crowd compared to the hundred and fifty or so back home in Lancaster County. With only thirty-two families in the Monte Vista area, they were split into two districts with one bishop serving both. Bishop Esh actually held worship service every Sunday, alternating between the two districts.

  After she tethered her horse, she carried Jonas in his carrier toward the house. She knew she would be walking in right as the service started, and she quickly found a seat in the back next to Vera. As she got settled, she glanced across the room to where the men were sitting, but she didn’t see Eli.

  “I don’t see Eli this morning.” She tried to sound casual as she whispered in Vera’s ear.

  “Didn’t you hear? I assumed that somehow word had gotten to you. We had to get a driver to take him to the hospital on Thursday. I was concerned because he had such a bad headache.” Vera leaned closer to whisper since the bishop was entering the room. “He had to have four stitches in his head, and he has a concussion. The doctor told him to rest for a few days.”

  Katie Ann gasped as she brought her hand to her mouth. “I knew he should have gone to the hospital after he fell off my roof. I tried to get him to go, Vera. Really I did.”

  “Ach, I’m sure you did. It took me forever to convince him to let us call a driver to take us all. None of us can figure out why he offered to fix your roof.”

  Katie Ann lowered her chin. “I know. I’m so sorry. It wasn’t his place, and I shouldn’t have let him.”

  “No, dear.” Vera grinned. “That’s not what I meant. Eli has been terrified of heights his whole life. Elam said he couldn’t believe that he asked for tools to fix your roof.” Her grin broadened. “He must have really wanted to make an impression.”

  “Afraid of heights?” Katie Ann bit her bottom lip and shook her head. “I didn’t know.”

  As much as she tried to focus on worship, her mind kept drifting back to Eli and what she could do to make up for his fall at her house. Off her house. She mentally scanned her re
cipe box at home, trying to think of something she could make to take to him, but she knew Vera was an excellent cook. Most likely Eli had everything he could possibly want to eat already. Then she remembered something she had at home. Something that would be perfect for Eli.

  She was glad when church service ended a little early, and as she helped the other women prepare the noon meal, she found Vera and pulled her aside. “I feel terrible about Eli.

  Would it be all right if I come by this afternoon and bring him a small gift?”

  Vera’s face lit up. “That would be very nice. I think a visit from you will cheer him up.”

  “I don’t know about that.” Katie Ann felt her cheeks brighten as she lowered her chin. “But I do feel bad.” She looked back at Vera. “I’ll come by later.”

  ELI KICKED HIS feet up on the coffee table and looked at the clock. He estimated about another hour before everyone came home from church. Smiling, he flipped through a gardening magazine he’d found in the kitchen, and he shoved another handful of roasted pecans into his mouth.

  Peace. Quiet. A magazine. And a snack.

  He felt a little guilty that he hadn’t gone to worship, especially when he was feeling one hundred percent better. But when Vera insisted he stay home and rest as the doctor said, well . . . who was he to argue? Although he did miss Katie Ann, and now that his head didn’t throb as though it might fall off his shoulders, he couldn’t wait to go see her. He still needed to pick up Elam’s tools, so that would be his excuse. He couldn’t recall having as much fun as he’d had with her Wednesday night. And it seemed like a lot more than four days since he’d seen her.

  He closed the magazine when he heard the family buggy pulling up the drive.

  Betsy was the first one to bolt through the door. She didn’t take off her coat or bonnet before she started to talk, and Eli struggled to understand her as she tried to catch her breath.

  “Katie Ann is coming to see you today! Mamm is very happy about that!” She took another big breath. “But Daed says you will break Katie Ann’s heart if you get too close to her . . . because you are leaving and all, and Levi said—”

  “Betsy!” Vera gently grabbed her young daughter by the arm and helped her out of her coat. “Must you repeat everything you hear?” She glanced at Eli but quickly looked away.

  Levi trailed in behind Vera. “I told you to be careful what you say in front of Betsy Big Ears.” He grinned as he nodded at Eli and headed up the stairs.

  Betsy slammed her hands to her sides as her mother struggled to untie a knot in her bonnet strings. “I don’t understand why people say things if they don’t want them repeated.” She pulled from her mother and leaned her head toward the stairs. “I do not have big ears, Levi!”

  “Be still, Betsy, so I can get this knot out.” Vera finally pulled the bonnet from the child’s head.

  Eli had gotten used to the bedlam in his cousins’ house. Most of the time. Occasionally, Betsy screamed at the top of her lungs when she was angry, and that had been a bit rough when he’d had his headache. But he’d lived through the chaos of family, and he figured himself to be somewhat immune.

  He recalled what Betsy said. Katie Ann was coming to see him?

  After Betsy marched upstairs, Vera sat down next to Eli. “I’m sorry about that.” She tapped a finger to her cheek and took a deep breath. “How are you feeling?”

  “Gut as new.” He cringed a bit, knowing he’d need to put in some extra devotion time this evening to make up for playing hooky.

  “No more headache?”

  “No. I really do feel much better.”

  Vera frowned. “I’m sorry you had to hear all that.”

  “So . . .” He lifted one brow. “Katie Ann is coming to see me?”

  “Ya. She feels bad that you fell off her roof.” Vera grinned.

  “I still can’t believe you were up there in the first place. Elam says you’re terribly afraid of heights.”

  Eli chuckled. “I was hoping I was over it.”

  “I’m sorry you didn’t get to do any more sightseeing. And you’re leaving day after tomorrow. Maybe you’ll come back for another visit? There’s lots to see and do around here.” She paused. “Maybe in the springtime, when it’s warmer.”

  “I’d like that. Despite the fall, I’ve enjoyed my time here. I wouldn’t have missed David and Emily’s wedding, and I enjoyed seeing the sand dunes.”

  “And spending time with Katie Ann?” Vera bit her bottom lip. “Sorry, I couldn’t help myself.”

  “Vera . . .” Eli sighed. “We talked about this. And I know you’re still trying to play matchmaker.”

  She batted her lashes playfully. “Whatever do you mean?”

  “Uh, if I didn’t already know, I think Betsy just confirmed it.” He chuckled. “But a reminder . . . Katie Ann and I are in two different places in our lives. She’s just starting out with a new baby. And, Vera . . . I’ve done all that. Six times.”

  He waited for a response, but Vera just lowered her head a bit. “But Katie Ann and I are friends, and I expect us to stay that way.”

  Vera stood up from the couch, put her hands on her hips, and stared down at him. “Well . . . as a reminder, you just never know what the Lord has planned for your future. ‘For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.’” She gave him a smug smile and headed toward the kitchen.

  Eli knew exactly what the Lord had planned for his future, and it didn’t include raising a new family. And he was starting to resent the butterflies that danced in his stomach at the very mention of Katie Ann’s name. He sat taller, knowing he needed to keep his priorities intact. He’d be leaving in two days.

  KATIE ANN KNOCKED on the Detweilers’ door with Jonas cradled in one arm and a plastic bag in the other hand. She was glad she could remember where she stored the travel guide, the one she’d picked up years ago when she thought Ivan might take her to Florida or one of the other beach destinations described in the book. Her people didn’t usually fly on a plane unless it was an emergency, but most of the places listed could be reached by bus. She certainly didn’t have any use for the book anymore. Maybe Eli would enjoy it, possibly travel to one of the locations pictured within the covers. Perhaps even send her a postcard?

  “Hello, Katie Ann.” Elam stepped aside so that Katie Ann could enter, and she gave him a nod.

  Eli stood up from the couch when he saw her. She walked toward him and held out the bag as Elam left the room.

  “It’s a gift for you because I feel so bad about what happened.”

  Eli smiled. “Katie Ann, you didn’t have to do that. It was just an accident.” He opened the bag and took a peek inside.

  “I thought it might be helpful for your travels.” She paused while he pulled out the guide and flipped through the pages. “Although it’s mostly beach locations, so I don’t know if—”

  “It’s wonderful. Danki.” His eyes were fixated on a page for a moment, then he closed the book. “Where did you get this?”

  “I’ve had it for a long time, and I don’t see where I’ll be needing it anytime soon.” She repositioned Jonas in her arms, smiling. “Ach, and I sent your tools with Elam. Vera told me at worship that you have a concussion.”

  Eli grimaced. “Please tell me that you didn’t climb up on the roof to get them?”

  “No.” She chuckled. “They slid off the roof at some point.”

  He sighed. “Gut.”

  “Because of your fall, you didn’t get to do any more sightseeing as you’d planned. I’m so sorry about that.”

  “I have one day left. Tomorrow.” He reached out his arms.

  “May I?”

  Katie Ann handed Jonas to Eli, and Eli sat down on the couch. He laid Jonas faceup in his lap, and once again he talked to her son in baby talk. It was endearing, and she still couldn’t recall seeing another Amish man carry on that way about a baby.

  “Are yo
u up for another day of sightseeing tomorrow?”

  Eli raised an eyebrow. “I was thinking about taking a trip to Alamosa, since it’s only about twenty minutes from here by car.

  That would be easy on our boy here.” He gently ran the back of his hand along Jonas’s cheek, and Katie Ann felt a warm glow flow through her.

  “I love Alamosa. I don’t get there as often as I’d like since it’s quite a haul by buggy, but I keep up with the Amish folks there by reading The Budget.” Katie Ann sat down next to Eli on the couch.

  “Then it’s a date.”

  “Gut.” She smiled and pretended not to notice his choice of the word.

  Eli lifted the heels of his feet up and down, bouncing Jonas slightly in his lap. She noticed he was without his shoes, and his left sock had a tiny hole near the toe.

  Then Eli stood, smiled, and handed Jonas back to Katie Ann. “I’ll go to the barn and call Wayne, see if he can take us tomorrow. But either way, I’ll make arrangements. Eight o’clock all right?”

  “Perfect.” Katie Ann bundled Jonas in his blanket and tucked his wool cap tight around his ears. “Then I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  Eli walked her to the door. “Looking forward to it.”

  She nodded as butterflies played in her stomach. She wished she were looking forward to it a little less.

  THE NEXT MORNING Eli watched the sun rise above the mountains as he crossed the snow-covered yard to get in the car with Wayne.

  “Glad you were free today,” he said as he climbed into the front seat.

  Wayne looked up through the windshield. “You’ve got a great day for travel. No snow predicted, and lots of sunshine . . . if not a bit chilly.” The elderly man smiled. “Are we picking up Katie Ann and the child again?”

  “Ya. She doesn’t have an opportunity to go by car much, so . . .” Eli shrugged, wondering if Wayne could sense his excitement.

  Wayne nodded, but he didn’t say anything.

  A few minutes later Eli walked up the path to Katie Ann’s porch. By the time he climbed the stairs, she had opened the door and was ready and waiting, Jonas in a carrier at her side.