It's Wrong for Me to Love You

by Krystal Armstead

  I shook my head, rolling my eyes. “Whateva, Jamie, you don’t have to flatter me.”

  He shook his head, “Nah, nah, I’m not just saying that. Man, all them niggas in middle school and in high school wanted your ass. And it wasn’t because you was fuckin’ some of them, shorty—it was because they was in love with you. You’re sexy, smart, talented, and you’re beautiful. Your lips, eyes, hair, skin, ass, thighs, shit, your pussy—everything about you is sexier than a muthafucka. If I wasn’t constantly on the road, didn’t already have a girl, and if your best friend wasn’t my ex, I swear to you that I would do whatever it took to make you mine. You know I couldn’t care less about your nigga, right?”

  Tears trickled down my face.

  “I’ve known you since elementary school. I don’t give a fuck about your past. You’re a beautiful person, Charlie, real talk. We’ve been friends for a long time, before it even came down to this moment. That nigga, Aaron, is crazy. If he doesn’t love you the way that you want him to love you, maybe it’s time that you let him go and stop wasting your time. And stop crying. The Charlene Campbell that I know never cried over no nigga. You know better than that shit, ma.”

  I looked up at him as he backed up and pulled me to him by my hands. He turned my body around then held me by the waist, grinding his body up against my booty. I began to grind my booty and hips up against his dick, in time to the music.

  He kissed my neck, rubbing his hands across my stomach, hips, ass, and between my legs. I gyrated my hips up against his dick until precome began to drip from the tip.

  “Shit,” he moaned, turning my body around to face his.

  I looked up into his face.

  Jamie held my hands, leading me into the bedroom. He sat down on the bed, pulling my body in between his legs. I sat down on his lap, swinging my legs around, facing his body. I lifted my ass a little, holding his dick, easing it inside of me. I looked down into his face, and he looked up at me, biting his lip. He held on to my hips as I began to bounce on his dick. It was the perfect size . . . not too big, not too long, not ginormous. It was just right, and it curved to the left just a little.

  Jamie gripped my waist, damn near digging his nails into my skin. He moaned as I rode him. “Charlene.” Jamie called out my name as I locked my knees around his waist and rode him until he couldn’t take it anymore. He held my waist, signaling me to stop before I made him come. We quickly switched positions. He lay me down on the bed, lying between my legs.

  My tears saturated the pillow as Jamie began to dig deep into my pussy as if he was digging a hole, digging for buried treasure. Deep sex, yeah, that was what I needed. Jamie pumped in and out of me. I gripped his ass in my hands.

  I was just about to come. Jamie felt my body begin to moisten and the walls of my pussy begin to tighten. Then, he pounded harder. I cried even more as my body jerked. We came together, as he bit down on my neck.

  All Jamie’s weight fell on me as his heart beat strong and steady in his chest. I held on to him as tightly as I could. His body felt so warm against mine. I inhaled his scent. He smelled so good.

  Jamie buried his face in my neck. “Damn . . . Baby?”

  “Hmmm?” I fought back the tears, loving the sound of his voice in my ear.

  “How many more days do I have you?” He gently kissed my neck.

  Just when I was about to answer, I heard my cell phone ring in my purse. The ring tone was my favorite old-school song, “Come Talk to Me.” It was Aaron.

  “Aaron!” I whispered excitedly, butterflies fluttering in my stomach.

  Jamie laughed a little to himself as he pulled out of me.

  I couldn’t get to my phone fast enough. I almost tripped over my own two feet. “Hello?” I answered the phone, damn near out of breath.

  “Hey, baby, what’s up?” Aaron’s voice was music to my heart.

  “Nothing much. Just chillin’ with my people. Ran into a few old friends.” I laughed nervously.

  “Sorry it took me all day to call. I had basketball practice, I had to work, and then I went out to get some drinks with the fellas. You enjoying yourself? I mean, are you behaving yourself?” I could hear him exhaling, which meant he was smoking. I hated that. Aaron hid his health from the team, but he hadn’t outgrown his asthma. He just had a doctor who knew he was good at playing basketball and didn’t want to ruin his career.

  I looked up, watching Jamie make his way to the bathroom. I knew I was making him feel uncomfortable. “Ummm, yeah, of course, I’m behaving myself. I haven’t whooped Alisha’s ass yet, if that’s what you mean. She’s still breathing, so everything is all good.”

  Aaron laughed a little. “So, how long are you gonna be in MIA?”

  “A few more days.” My eyes glistened. I was starting to feel a little guilty because he actually sounded like he missed me.

  “When you get home, Charlie, we need to go out and have some fun. I’m tired of working twenty-four-seven, not spending any time with my girl. I wanna take my baby out and show her off. When is the last time that we went out and had some fun?”

  I smiled a little to myself as I began to cry. “Like four months ago.” I could hear people talking and the faint sound of music playing in the background. “Where are you?”

  He hesitated. “In the restroom at Purple Panties.”

  I rolled my eyes, drying my face. Purple Panties was a new strip club that the basketball team went to on a damn near daily basis. I knew most of the hoes who worked up in there, and they damn sure didn’t make all that money they made by just dancing. Those bitches got buck-ass naked onstage, damn near fucked dudes onstage, and went with about two, three, or even four guys to the “champagne room.” I don’t give a fuck what Chris Rock said—there is sex in the champagne room.

  “Oh my goodness, Aaron, you know I hate when you go to that fuckin’ club. Please wash your hands when you leave there if you touch any of those girls.” I reached for my bra and panties. “And do not take your ass in that champagne room, do you hear me?”

  “Hey, Charlie, I gotta go. I’ll give you a call tomorrow, a’ight?” Aaron acted as if he didn’t hear my comment.

  I sighed, “All right, Aaron. I love you, baby.”

  I waited to hear an “I love you” back. But I waited in vain.

  “Talk to you later, babe.” He hung up.

  I just sat there on the floor, phone still to my ear. The tears started rolling again.

  “Everything all right, shorty?” I heard Jamie’s voice behind me.

  I took the phone from my ear, quickly drying my tears. I stood up, turning around facing Jamie. He was dressed in his wife beater and Ralph Lauren boxers.

  I nodded, faking a smile as I slid back into my bra and panties. “Everything’s all good,” I whispered.

  “You in the mood for another drink?” Jamie walked past me, over to the kitchen area.

  “Yeah, sure. I could use a drink or two.” I ran my fingers through my hair anxiously. I went over and sat at the bistro table, watching Jamie as he took out a bottle of Grey Goose from the fridge.

  “Jamie?” I called out.

  He looked at me as he reached into the cabinet for two glasses. “What’s up?”

  “Thank you for tonight,” I whispered. “I really needed this.”

  He looked at me and smiled a little. “Did I warm you up enough to go back to your man?”

  I looked at him, shocked that he would imply that I actually used him. “Oh, so, you think I used you? That’s not what this was, Jamie. You have a girl like I have a man, so before you wanna go throwing up those types of comments—”

  Jamie laughed, cutting me off. “Shorty, I’m just sayin’, though, you couldn’t get to the phone quick enough. Pamela has been blowin’ up my phone all day long, and you haven’t seen me answer the phone once. As a matter of fact, you haven’t seen me check my phone once to see who it was. I just know it was shorty because she calls me three times back-to-back, then texts me about three times back
-to-back, then sends me a message on Facebook about three times, then calls again back-to-back for about an hour straight. The girl blows my phone up when I don’t answer. I have a life outside of her, man. Aaron’s ass didn’t call you all day, and as soon as he did, you nearly broke a toe trying to answer the phone. What did you expect me to say?” Jamie sat down at the bar next to me. “You sprung, shorty. The nigga’s got you sprung.”

  I hesitated. “So, maybe he does, okay? I guess I’m still looking for something that’s not there. I need him to need me, and he doesn’t.” I shrugged.

  “Shit, it is what it is, shorty.” Jamie popped open the bottle. “And if it’s not, well, then, shit, it’s just not. And you don’t need that shit. You deserve love, Charlene. You don’t deserve bullshit. It’s about time you start realizing your worth. You fine as a muthafucka, Charlene. You deserve so much better.” He poured me a glass then poured a glass for himself.

  I took the glass.

  Jamie held up his glass to toast me. “To five days together. No worries. No drama. No boyfriend. No girlfriend. No bullshit. No crying. Just fun, smoking, drinking, shopping, and fuckin’. Just you and me. Fuck everything else. A’ight?”

  Tears lined my lashes. I nodded, holding my glass up to him. “I’ll toast to that.”

  The week went by fast, too fast. I didn’t want it to end. Jamie and I went out on the town. I went with him to just about all of his TV appearances that week. I went with him to two parties. We went to four or five movies that week. In public, we were old friends catching up. But in private, shit, we were like two lovers who had spent months apart. We had sex at least three or four times a day. I ended up staying with him the entire week. He wasn’t lying when he said that he was a celebrity. He made time for me when he really didn’t have the time, and it felt great. We were inseparable that week. I was having a great time, and I really didn’t want to leave him. He had my body on fire whenever he touched me. He sparked a flame inside my soul that Aaron hadn’t even bothered to tend to. I felt with him what I wanted to feel with Aaron. Jamie was more than a friend at that moment. I waded in waters too deep, and I was drowning in it.

  Chapter 5

  Deeper

  Charlene

  I met back up with the cheerleading squad just in time for our flight to leave.

  Alisha folded her arms as I walked up to the squad. She tapped her Prada shoes against the terminal floor. “Well well well, look who finally decided to grace us with her presence. If it isn’t Queen Charlene,” she hissed.

  I rolled my eyes, flipping my hair over my shoulder. “Alisha, I am not in the mood for your shit today, so you need to back the fuck off.”

  “For real, Charlie, where have you been?” Kelissa asked. Kelissa was a short, petite, brown-skinned girl with long hair and hazel eyes. She didn’t too much care for Alisha either, but she always took her side to avoid confrontation. “Half of the clubs that we wanted to get in wouldn’t even let us in without you, the ‘Redbone Bombshell.’ You wanna fill us in on where you were?”

  I looked at Alisha. They all stood there waiting on me to respond. I shook my head. “Last time I checked, my daddy was dead and my mama was in Maryland. I’m grown, and I don’t have to answer to none of y’all bitches. I went and spent some time by myself. I had to get away from y’all to avoid opening up a can of kill-a-trick on a few of y’all, okay?” I rolled my eyes.

  “Excuse me,” I heard a sweet, gentle female voice call out over my shoulder.

  I turned around to see bright, Colgate-clean teeth gleaming at me. She was the color of soft caramel, with long, dark, silky hair and bright brown eyes. Her lips were full and glossy. She was about five foot five, with a Coke-bottle figure and dressed very classy. She wore a white button-down shirt, tight smoky-gray pants, and a gray scarf around her neck. She smiled at me, handing me a brown leather wallet. “Sweetie, you left this in the cab. I was just about to get in when I saw it in the backseat. You were in such a hurry. I don’t think you heard me calling out to you.”

  I hesitated, taking the wallet from her. “Thanks, hon. Oh my goodness, girl, my life is in this wallet!” I laughed a little.

  Alisha pointed at her. “Hey, you look real familiar.”

  The young lady smiled. “Yeah, some of you all do too.”

  “Wait a minute, I know you.” Lailah, the Puerto Rican cutie in the squad, stepped forward. “You’re captain of the cheerleading squad at Memphis State! I saw you doing your thing at one of y’all’s basketball games in Charlotte last year when I went to visit my cousin last season! Your team has mad skills! Y’all make that shit look effortless!”

  The young lady shook her head. “No, we just work our ass off. We have our flaws, trust me. We just know how to dress it up a little on the court.” She looked at me. “I know who you are too. Seen you at a few competitions. I think my boyfriend even said he went to school with you.”

  I looked at her, and my heart skipped a beat, for what reason, I don’t know. Seems like my body caught on to the situation before my mind did. “School with me? What did you say your name was?”

  She smiled, holding her hand out to shake mine. “Oh my goodness, I’m so rude. I’m Pamela Rhodes, trying to be Pamela Green, if you know what I mean.”

  Alisha loved the expression on my face. She laughed a little. “Green—as in Jamie Green? Yes, girl, I went to school with him freshman year in high school. Shit, Charlene here practically grew up with him. How is he doing?” Alisha elbowed me a little, waking me up from my daze, and forcing me to pick my jaw up from the floor.

  “Great! He’s here on a few television appearances. We took separate vacations. Thought I’d surprise him. I’m here with my parents for a few days.” Pamela smiled sweetly. “I’m sure y’all have seen him and his teammates.”

  “Oh, I thought that was him at that basketball party about a week ago. Nope, didn’t say much to him, though. Charlie, did you speak to him?” Alisha grinned at me.

  The squad giggled.

  I shook my head nervously. “Girl, I probably wouldn’t recognize him if I did. Haven’t seen him in years, but when you do see him, tell him I said hi.”

  Just when I thought the situation couldn’t get any worse, we all caught sight of Jamie and a few of his teammates walking toward us. You should have seen the look on his face when Pamela went running up to him, jumping into his arms. She was happy to see him, not even stopping to wonder why he showed up at the airport when he didn’t even know she was arriving. She was there to surprise him, and he was there to say good-bye to me.

  Jamie looked over her shoulder at me, as she hugged him around his neck. We never exchanged numbers. I planned to leave things the way they were, but apparently, he wanted something more. We both agreed that week was just that week—something we both needed—well, maybe me more than him. I didn’t see a need to get his number, since I was going back to Maryland to deal with my own situation. Up until that point, I wasn’t even feeling bad about cheating on Aaron with Jamie, especially after Aaron called me from the strip club and couldn’t even tell me he loved me over the phone. However, when I saw Pamela hugging Jamie as if he was the most important person in the world to her, I felt like a true slut. She held on to him the same way that Ne’Vaeh once held on to him. I couldn’t help but think that sleeping with Jamie was the worst thing I could have done to a woman who didn’t deserve that.

  “Shorty, what’s up? What are you doing here?” Jamie was as shocked to see Pamela as I was shocked to see him show up at the airport.

  Pamela let go of Jamie, slapping him in the shoulder playfully. “Sweetie, my mom came here to visit my aunt, who’s having a baby in a few days. I just wanted to surprise you! You must’ve been real busy since you weren’t returning any of my calls!” Pamela looked over at me and saw me staring straight back at Jamie. She looked at Jamie. “What are you doing here, Jamie? I didn’t tell you I was flying in.”

  Jamie looked at me, then back at Pamela. “Oh . . . My homies
wanted to come wish the ladies luck this coming basketball season. A few of the girls from the squad showed up at the party the fellas threw at a club last week. They was just stopping by to give their number to a few of the ladies on the squad. Ain’t that right, fellas?”

  They nodded behind him, agreeing and spread out, walking up to the ladies on my squad.

  One of Jamie’s teammates stepped to me, handing me a folded-up sheet of paper.

  I took it from him, grasping it in my hand while glancing at Jamie over his shoulder.

  Pamela looked at me. “What was your name again? Charlene, is it?” She turned to Jamie. “Jamie, this is Charlene. She said she went to school with you.”

  Jamie nodded, “Yeah, we did.” He looked at me. “You were friends with Ne’Vaeh, right? Tell her I said what’s up when you see her.”

  I nodded, clearing my throat, “W-will do.”

  Pamela pulled on Jamie’s arm. “Sweetie, we need to get going. My mother is waiting. Tell your friends you’ll catch up with them later. It was nice meeting you all.”

  Passengers boarding flight IG F8122, please report to the passenger service center at this time.

  “Well, that’s us, fellas.” Alisha hugged and kissed one of the players on the team. “It was nice meeting some of y’all and reuniting with a few of y’all! The party was off the fuckin’ chain! Until the next party, y’all!”

  The girls hurried over to the flight attendant to hand over their boarding passes.

  I couldn’t move. My feet were planted on the ground.

  Jamie looked back at me as Pamela locked arms with him, leading him away from the passenger terminal. He winked at me, and my heart melted.

  “C’mon, Charlie!” Kelissa grabbed my arm, pulling me off to board the plan.

  We stuffed our carry-on bags in the compartments above our head and sat down in our first-class seats. Just when I sat down at the window, finally able to breathe again, Alisha sits her big butt beside me.

  I looked at her, rolling my eyes. “I thought Karla was supposed to be sitting next to me, Alisha.”