Zachariah nodded, his warm brown eyes reflecting compassion for the human dilemma. “How one perceives his world is crucial to his well being. All sorts of good and evil are played out in the mind’s theatre. Clearly, the battleground in which man lives out his life is in his mind. And since all men have the gift of free will, the choices they make based on how they see and think about situations that come their way determines their emotions and reaction either for better or for worse.”
“Yes, yes, we are what we think and how we think is determined by all the experiences of our past that bring us into each and every present moment we live.”
Zachariah nodded, a momentary silence fell between us.
I gazed at my protector still in awe over the vision I just witnessed how from the moment we leave our mother’s womb the journey of our lives begin. Learning first from our parents, family, then friends, and teachers and combined with our hereditary nature we acquire emotional habits, good and bad, and a self image of who we are. We develop fears, and values, prejudices, hurts, joys and sorrows…. Yes! Through the billions of choices we make based on all that went before continues to shape our lives and determines our quest for happiness and inner peace. On any particular day and given moment we may find ourselves a million miles away from the world of Jesus, and other days just on the doorstep and occasionally we may enter. This is how it is for each of us.
Zachariah broke into my thoughts with an insight I was just contemplating. “What many do not realize is that how they see their world is different from the world others see because of all the things in their lives that brought them to this moment in time as well. Each man creates his own world and is different from all other men. All too many believe that how they see a situation is the same as how another sees it, but this is not the case.”
I was about to speak but Zachariah went on. “An awareness of this helps to make a man more compassionate and understanding of another. No-one is perfect and each man’s world view is made up of much faulty thinking and conditioned emotional reactions, misunderstanding and hurts. For better or worse a man brings his good and bad traits into each situation he encounters. Reality is perceived through what each person brings into their lives.”
“So true, Zachariah, that’s why open, honest communication is so important to clarify our perceptions to each other. I have noticed that over and over during my life. So often we are left to our own thinking and analysis of what is in the minds of others and their motive. How could he or she do this to me? And yet, when we understand where they were at and see the situation from their point of view, even if it is flawed, we can then accept why they did what they did.”
This time it was I who nodded as I couldn’t speak. I could see how the minds of mankind churned with self righteousness and pride. Tears of sorrow surfaced as my heart pained to see the many conflicts in families; children angry with their parents, wives against husbands, husbands against wives, unforgiveness in so many hearts and misunderstandings of all sorts. Where, oh where is the love, the forgiveness and understanding? How can we let days, months and years go by and live in the past over some hurt that may have been over some reaction due to one’s perception of life at that time? A past hurt or slight is only a thought kept alive by playing it over and over in our minds… for what purpose!? Such a heavy price to pay for the sake of getting even, being right or justified. We are all imperfect. Why do we act superior to one another and condemn the speck in our brother’s eyes and fail to see the log in our own?
I could see in the vision before me that Jesus is absent in so many homes which further compounds and impedes man’s search for meaning and purpose. Prayer, kindness, repentance lacking in so many lives, it is no wonder so many flounder and do not see the path that leads to life and inner peace.
Zachariah knew my thoughts and softly spoke words of hope and encouragement. “Had not the Lord become man to live and die for humanity the vision you see would have been the life of all mankind. There would have been continual strife and darkness and death would have been the end to man’s existence.”
I barely heard Zacharias’ words when there before me appeared the good news, the coming of Jesus to pay the price for our sins and open the gates of heaven. I was spellbound as I saw Jesus standing on the mountain side giving the Sermon on the Mount that I had read so many times before in Matthew’s gospel. His words were filled with love, compassion and forgiveness, teaching us to live through His world, His mind, His thinking! “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth….” My heart began to overflow with gratitude as the light of the Word; its truth and justice swept through my spirit.
“Oh, if only we would all come to Him, repent and commit our lives to Him! How much more peace would fill our existence!”
Romans 12:2 illuminated my mind like a flashing marquee:
‘And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.’
“Yes, it is easy to see from this perspective that the degree to which we accept, commit and obey His teachings is the degree to which we live in the real world that prepares us for eternity. It is the degree to which we grow in peace. It is the degree to which we become peacemakers and beacons to lead others into the light. It is the degree to which we help Jesus fulfill His great commission to bring all mankind into the kingdom of heaven.”
“Why is it Zachariah that many know this truth, yet still live on the fringe of it all and so many abandon it all together as if unattainable? Yes, it requires effort to be obedient to His teachings and to yield our will to Him, but in my own life the rewards of living for God is immeasurable.”
“You are a fine example of living such a life of being in the world but not of the world… You have realized early on that it is impossible to do God’s will on your own strength. Daily I have seen you on your knees asking for mercy and forgiveness and inviting the Master into your heart to live through your life. It is because of the way you have chosen to live your life that your example has brought many people to the Lord. You have been a beacon of light for Jesus. You give others hope and instill faith.”
I nodded gratefully, “I have only been a light to other’s by God’s grace and strength! As St. Paul says, ‘It is no longer I who live but Christ who lives in me.’ It is only by abiding in Christ that we can live as God intended. He is the vine, we are the branches. By remaining in the vine steadfastly, we grow in the light moment by moment until the day we die. When we are hurt, we forgive, when a lie is convenient we say the truth, when we are tempted to judge, we accept. We are obedient to Jesus’ teachings. We show kindness, patience, goodwill, peace in every situation we find ourselves. All our thoughts, words and deeds must have a spiritual side.”
My kindly guardian smiled approvingly, “Yes, man must take up his cross and follow Jesus daily. There will be times when the struggle is great, the temptations so powerful that man slips into darkness. That is why God sent the Holy Spirit and His Angels to continually help us. God understands man’s frailty and how easily he is lured back into worldliness and worldly ways of thinking. Every moment is a decision to live for Christ or himself. Every time man yields his will to God and allows Jesus to live within him, he develops a new habit of living for Christ and weakens his old habits and nature. Although his tendency for self is always present, it is through his choices and sincere efforts that he receives God’s grace and strength to grow ever closer into the mind and heart of Jesus.”
“Yes, Zachariah, it is as you have said, when man sees the big picture and how he fits into the scheme and plan of the heavenly Father that is when he begins to live in the light of the real world. He now lives with meaning and purpose with eternity ever in his sight.”
Chapter One
Henry sped down Pasqua Street heading south. His heart was racing
and pounding so hard, he thought for sure it would explode out of his chest. Beads of perspiration were beginning to roll down his forehead, trickling into his eyes. He brushed them away with the back of his hand.
“Oh, Jenny, please hang in there.” Geez, for months already he could have been seeing her. Marjorie’s house was less than a mile away from the Santa Maria Home, for Pete’s sake. He remembered when he called the care home and asked about her. If only he had challenged the nurse on duty at the time, that he was more than family and had every right to see her. Perhaps if he had gone down there and pleaded with them or had asked them to ask Marjorie if she would see him.
But that’s the past, Henry. What’s done is done. Henry reached up and clutched the angel pendant once again.
“Oh please, guardian angel, get me there on time.”
The light had turned yellow as he approached the intersection of Dewdney and Pasqua. He hit the gas and sped through but rather than slow down he kept increasing the gas…
“Oh, no…” he heard a siren and looking into his rearview mirror, he saw a patrol car almost touching his bumper.
Henry slowed and pulled over, his heart almost in his mouth. He knew better than to speed, but it was a life and death situation.
Henry rolled down his window as the officer approached the car.
“Can I see your driver’s license, sir?” the officer asked.
Henry already had his wallet out in anticipation of the question. He deserved a ticket and wanted to get it over with as quickly as possible.
“Did you know you went through a late yellow light? It was well into the red by the time you got through the intersection.”
“I’m sorry officer. I was so close to the intersection I decided to go through… I was going quite fas…”
“That’s exactly right. You were going fast; too fast. I was sitting on Dewdney waiting for the light to change and saw you barreling down Pasqua and after you went through the light you didn’t slow down either. Seems to me you went still faster.”
“I know…but I can explain. I just learned that a girl I knew and was very fond of 30 years ago is very ill at the Santa Maria Home and apparently her case is terminal. I was hoping I could see her before…well before something happens to her…” Henry didn’t even want to think that Jenny might be dead.
“That may be, but in trying to get to her in such a hurry, you are putting yourself and others in danger.”
Henry nodded, clearly guilty, yet hoping the officer would simply give him his ticket and let him go.
The officer turned to go back to his squad car and write up a ticket when he noticed who Henry was. He came back to the car.
“Say, are you Henry Pederson, the artist?”
“Guilty again, officer, I am.”
“I can’t believe this. We have one of your prints hanging in our living room. My wife and I got it when we married five years ago. It’s the one of a boy and his dog standing beside a dugout behind the barn in a farm yard. He’s tossing a stone across the water to make it skip on the surface. I used to do that all the time.”
Henry appreciated the fact that the police officer had a piece of his art but desperately wanted to go. He simply smiled and nodded, not wanting to get into a conversation.
“I know you’re in a hurry…look, I’ll give you a warning this time.”
The officer tightened his lips and tilted his head as a sign he could change his mind but before he could, Henry said, “I promise, officer, I’ll be more observant of my speed. Normally I am, it’s just that I want to see Jenny before it’s too late.”
“You said she is in the Santa Maria Home?”
“Yeah,” Henry nodded.
“Okay, look…follow me.”
The officer hurried back to his car. No sooner had he started the vehicle, he turned on the siren and proceeded down Pasqua towards the care home. Henry followed and waved to the officer when they got there.
Just as he pulled into the Santa Maria parking lot, he saw Camilla run out of the care home crying. She looked so upset… She ran to her car and before Henry could even get out and run to her, she sped away even more in a hurry than he was to get here.
What was she doing here? Who was she visiting or seeing?
He wondered if she had ever found out if she was adopted or not?
Henry thought about going after her and explaining what he just found out about Marjorie, but he was more torn to see Jenny.
He hoped that Camilla would drive more carefully and not get caught speeding like he did. Geez wouldn’t that be something if she got caught by the same officer…another dangerous Pederson!
The lady at the reception desk looked up as Henry burst through the door. He slowed to barely a walk.
“Good morning,” he said, as he resolutely walked past the desk. He had already been detained once and he couldn’t deal with another interference. Henry caught his breath and blurted, “I know the room number of the patient I want to see.”
He was glad Father had given him the room number, otherwise he might have been held back again or told only relatives were allowed. The elevator doors opened up just as he got there. He stepped inside and hit the number four button several times.
“Who are you going to see?” the lady at the reception desk hollered, as she chased after him.
“A very close friend—”
The last part of the sentence was cut off by the closed doors and simply echoed within the confined elevator. Henry shifted from one foot to the other, wanting to help lift the slow elevator as it climbed past the second and third floor. His heart hammered inside his chest. Beads of perspiration formed on his forehead. Sweat under his armpits rolled down his sides, joining the wetness of his undershirt soaked from the sweat off his back. It was as if he stepped out of the shower and put his clothes on without drying first. Exhaustion from the roller coaster of emotions was closing in. He breathed deeply to ward off a dizzy spell.
Finally, the elevator bounced to a stop and the doors opened none too soon. Cool air from the air conditioner on the fourth floor gushed into the stuffy elevator, offering Henry some relief. He grabbed the lapels of his jacket with both hands and flapped them back and forth. Along with the cool blasts of air to his face and chest came a growing nervousness.
“What if she doesn’t recognize me or is upset with me for not writing?” Hopefully she got his letter like he got hers. He recalled Mr. Sarsky’s secretary saying she sent his letter to Jenny at the same time.
One thought after another buzzed through his mind…
He shivered.
Only one nurse seemed to be on duty at the nurse’s station and she was busy writing something behind the raised counter. Henry slowed down and tried to soften his footsteps, checking the room numbers as he proceeded down the hall. Room 453 was just to his right so room 455 must be at the end of the hall.
As he passed the station, he sped up. The nurse looked up and called out, “Sir, excuse me, sir.”
Henry pretended not to hear her and quickened his pace as much as he could. He heard her bumping into her desk and a chair tipping over. To see Jenny was his mission, he’d deal with the protocol of patient visits later. He read the number outside the room: 455.
As he turned in, another nurse was coming out carrying linen. Henry bumped into her, almost knocking her over in the doorway.
“Oh, I am so sorry,” he whispered.
He rushed into the room and looked over to the bed.
Instant panic swept through him. He staggered backwards and bumped into the nurse from the nurse’s station who had finally caught up to him.
“Oh no,” Henry cried, “I’m too late.”
His heart thumped, ready to burst. The sight of seeing an empty bed was too much…
Jenny was gone!
Chapter Two
Where is the morgue?” He demanded, hoping he could still touch Jenny’s hand, or kiss her lips before the warmth left her body.
The nurse w
ho burst in was ready to scold him, but rather put her hand on his arm. She could see Henry was on the verge of panic.
“It’s okay, sir, she is not in the morgue.”
Before the nurse could go on, he blurted out, “Where is she, then!?”
“Please calm down sir. She was taken to the Grey Nuns’ Hospital early this morning and placed in palliative care. Are you a relative?”
“She is not dead then?” Henry asked, not answering her question.
“She is gravely ill, but was still functioning when she left this morning.”
“Then I must get over there, right away.” He turned towards the door. The nurse he bumped into on the way in was standing near the door holding the linen in her arms.
“I’m so sorry for barging in like that, I hope you are fine.”
“Yes, I am fine, but who are you?”
“Oh, I am… I am Jenny’s boyfriend,” Henry said, as he rushed out of the door.
“You’re the second person within a half-hour who was trying to locate Ms. Hamilton, that first one claiming she was her daughter!”
Henry only heard part of what the nurse said as he ran down the hall.
The two nurses stepped out of the bedroom into the hallway and saw Henry frantically hitting the elevator button. The older of the two rolled her eyes in disbelief, “It’s a little too late for romance, isn’t it?”
Chapter Three
Father turned off the light switch in his room and walked out of his bedroom. He was about to make his morning calls to all of his brothers and sisters in Christ, as he did every morning. The care home attendants sometimes referred to him as Doctor Sunshine. Not only did he exude an aura of light, the words he prescribed shone into everyone’s spirits, lighting them up with radiance. One could immediately tell if Father had visited one of the residents by the smile and light in their eyes.
“My gosh Father, you sure look handsome and debonair this morning,” said Nurse Frowler. “And that yellow geranium in your lapel…wow!”
Angel Promises Fulfilled Page 2