“What do you mean, Thomas?”
“Well, the Bible pointed out to me, for example, something I was very guilty of that kept me from enjoying life and my fellow man—”
“What was that?” James was eager to know.
“Perhaps I can answer that better if I tell you a bit about myself. I wasn’t always a landscaper, James.”
“That’s right, Carlos mentioned to me the other day that you were a lawyer at one time. How the hell did you end up as a landscaper, Thomas?”
“I’m glad you asked, James. I was about to share that with you. It may be hard for you to believe, but there are similarities in our lives.” Thomas shifted on the railing, trying to make himself more comfortable.
James shifted to one end of the swing. “Here, sit down on the swing, Thomas.”
“My pants are soiled—”
“No matter, Thomas, please, sit.”
Thomas sat down and began to tell James about his background.
“My parents sent me to London in the late fifties to study law. They both worked hard and wanted a better life, so they thought, for their son. I did have two siblings but they died during one of the hurricanes that hit the island.”
“Was that the same storm that killed Matilda’s parents?”
Thomas nodded. “Yes, it was the same one; literally wiped out the island. Dad was determined to get me off the island perhaps even more so, to prevent nature from taking his last child should another such hurricane hit Jamaica again. In any case, I worked hard and grades came easy to me. I graduated at the top of my class. Many firms wanted to hire me, but were concerned about my colour and worried that many clients would not accept me. There was one firm however, who took a chance and eventually offered me a position as one of the partners…” Thomas paused and then added, “I’ll get to that part of it.
“At first, many clients by-passed me, but for those who didn’t, my success rate as a trial lawyer was one hundred percent. I worked hard and thought of every angle and anticipated every question or issue that would arise by the defense attorney or judge. Soon, clients were clamouring to get me to represent them…”
Thomas paused and looked hard at James. “I don’t say this in a boastful manner, but more-so to let you know that I was very successful and made more money than I ever dreamed possible. My income in a few days was more than what my father made in a year on the island. I was living high and fast and was accepted in high society circles. I considered myself a very important man and rubbed shoulders with many important people of influence.”
“Well now, if I haven’t seen it all,” muttered Matti as she walked down the stone path and saw Thomas and James sitting on the swing together. “Never in all my years would I have thought I would live to see such a sight!”
Both men looked her way as she walked up to them carrying a tray with a glass of water, several plastic vials and a pot of tea.
“Afternoon, gentlemen, you two be looking mighty comfortable. I brought you your medicine, Jim, and some tea.”
“Thanks Matilda, I’ll just have the water. Perhaps Thomas might enjoy the tea?”
“Why yes, if James doesn’t care for it, I would enjoy some tea, Matti.” Thomas held the cup and saucer while Matti filled the cup with tea all the while almost imperceptibly shaking her head in disbelief.
“I suppose you two be wanting some of my fine cookies?”
Both men politely declined. “Well then, I best be on my way. I wouldn’t want to be interrupting an important discussion.”
Thomas took a sip of his tea and reached over to the ledge and set it down. “You were saying how you made all that money and became a man to be reckoned with.”
Thomas grinned and shook his head trying to tone down what James said.
“Interesting thing is, James. I had the world by the tail, but I wasn’t happy. In fact, I could tell I was losing my health. I couldn’t sleep… much of it had to do with getting clients off that I knew were guilty as sin. I even got two men acquitted who were guilty of murder. I knew deep down that most of the people who I considered friends were interested in me only because of my success… but to make a long story short, James, I had lost my way in life and even though I was living a life that many would consider far above that of my parents, I knew they were much happier than me. I realized this even more when something happened.”
This time, James shifted on the swing and took another sip of water. Thomas took that as a cue and reached over for his tea and took a gulp. As he sat it back on the ledge, James asked, “So what happened, Thomas?” James was eager to know.
“You may have heard about the case. It was a modern day Jeckyll and Hyde murder case. A prominent doctor, who was afflicted with a mental disorder, selected certain patients of his to terminate their lives during operations he performed on them. It was a colleague of the doctor who eventually noticed what was different in his procedure with some patients that led to their untimely death. After studying the reports and cases, I came to the same conclusion as the doctor who reported my client. He definitely was guilty. Day in and day out I would walk into the court room and see the many spouses and family members who had lost a parent or child under the hands of my client. My conscience began to get the better of me. It was my mother’s death that saved me. I asked for week adjournment to fly back to the island and it was granted.”
Thomas paused and started to reach for his tea and then stopped short and continued. “As soon as I got off the plane in Jamaica, the island air hit my nostrils and a peace that I had forgotten swept through me like a healing balm. At that instant, I knew I could never return to the life I knew in London. Unfortunately, it took my mother’s death for me to realize it. In the days that followed, that peace began to grow deeper. The first week passed and I called the firm and told them I needed more time. Reluctantly they agreed. They needed me more than I needed them. My client was furious and threatened to sue the firm. After the second week, the firm offered me a full partnership if I returned immediately and still, I refused.
“It was during that third week, however, that my decision was made. I began to work side by side with my father helping him with the landscaping on the estate he looked after. I had never seen so much beauty. The colours of the flowers, the aroma and different species began to open my eyes to the beauty of nature and the spiritual sustenance it provided. The wind and air and scent of the sea, was like opium to my frazzled mind, filling me with peace. The clouds lazily drifting in the blue sky calmed my troubled spirit… not only had I forgotten all this, but its beauty hit me to the depths of my being, even more so than as a young lad before I left for London. I had taken it for granted back then, but now, I realized to my very core what life was all about. And it was the peace that I was beginning to feel that confirmed it.”
“Had you told me this over a year ago, I wouldn’t have understood a word you were saying. But I know exactly what you mean, Thomas. This past year on the estate has made me realize the same thing. Who would have thought slowing down and looking at nature and examining one’s life could possibly have such an effect upon one’s personal wellbeing! I thought that was for philosophers or people that have too much time on their hands.”
The two men shared a knowing smile of something they had in common and James asked, “So did you leave the firm?”
Thomas nodded, “I called the firm and submitted my verbal resignation. They threatened to sue and blackball me; claimed I would never practice law again. And that suited me fine. After that telephone conversation I was floating like one of the clouds in the sky. The next day I was kneeling in the dirt wearing one of my Italian made trousers and white shirt. By the end of the first day when I took my clothes off and looked at the soiled condition they were in, I actually picked up my pants and kissed them and laughed and laughed. Something I hadn’t done in years.
“In the months that followed, I learned more about plants and herbs and where to place them than I could ever have learned
in the finest, horticultural school, anywhere in the world. I still don’t claim to ever coming near to what my daddy knew.”
Thomas paused for a moment in memory of his father and then continued, “I couldn’t believe that the owners of the estate never came to their island mansion, but wanted it maintained for that odd week or two that they came to enjoy what they owned.”
James squirmed on the swing. It was becoming painful for him to sit on the swing.
“We can continue this another time, James.”
“No, I’m fine, doesn’t matter where I sit, it will be the same. Anyway, I can relate to what you were saying, Thomas. I never realized either the treasure that I had right under my nose… I was too busy… or rather, chose to be.”
Thomas nodded. “Yes, it’s sad that so many of us fail to enjoy what we have and more importantly, the beauty of God’s creation that surrounds us each and every day. My momma used to write and scold me for not coming home; that I was always on the run and never took time for family and to enjoy life. ‘Life is short, Tommy,’ she used to say to me, ‘soon you will grow old and all the good moments are gone.’”
Thomas stopped and nodded, “It was this awareness that I had forgotten since leaving the island that opened my eyes again. It was as if I had fallen into a deep sleep and was on a train that moved so fast that I didn’t see the beautiful landscaping the train was travelling through. The journey only focused on winning, making money, being at the top, success, the challenge of another case and more accolades. I was becoming a very proud man and more powerful and influential by the day. This was what held my vision, my attention, and was my goal in life.”
James’ eyes clouded as he identified with Thomas. He knew only too well that train trip. He had been on it for all of his life. His father had, too, and certainly now, J.J. was following their lead. James began to understand himself through the gardener’s sharing of his life. James was seeing what Thomas was doing by opening himself up… it was for him. James was touched and softly said, “Go on, Thomas.”
“I was a very proud man, James. My desire to be the best consumed me.”
“You don’t appear to be proud though, Thomas, rather the opposite…very humble.”
“As soon as I quit the rat race, my desire to be the best was no more. I was no longer in competition with everyone, just myself. I now had a different goal. I wanted to grow and be the best human being I could. I wanted to be better than I was the day before. As soon as I quit competing with others, pride slid off me and was replaced by a peace I hadn’t known. I saw it in my mother and father. They just accepted others and lived with them side by side just like the flowers in a field or the trees in the forest. They simply bloom where they are planted. One flower may be prettier than the other, but to the flowers they just are. They give all glory to their creator and when their time under the sun is over, they simply accept their death, as well, and return to the soil.”
A silence descended upon the men. Thomas looked down at his hands as if counting his fingers and thanking God for the gift of being able to hold and touch the earth and make the world more beautiful by the gift the Lord had given him. James, on the other hand, appeared to be calm, however, his mind was swirling. Everything Thomas had said revealed his own character. He was the best, and was in competition with everyone, every moment of his life to prove himself better and with more power. He recalled how he competed with his brother for his father’s attention. He felt pangs of guilt as flashes of his brother’s hatred for him dimmed his eyes. His competition with his class mates, his professors, his colleagues… everyone was inferior. Even when one of his executives challenged him, for days he would snub him and prove him wrong until the man lost his confidence.
Could his entire life have been wrong? All the anxiety, frustration, anger, endless hours of work, struggling and conniving, and manipulating…for what? It never gave him any inner peace, happiness or love…what’s that? He thought power and wealth would give it to him, but it all betrayed him. It was all an illusion that continuously left him empty.
This past year was the first and only year he had come close to experiencing what life really was all about. It took an illness to open his eyes. It took a disease to make him see and appreciate the beautiful woman he had been married to. She had exhibited all the qualities of life right from the start of their marriage that could have helped him out of his self imposed prison. She was devoid of competition, devoid of pride, devoid of judgmental attitude and criticism. She accepted others and softly spoke her side just openly and not defensively, unless others’ actions caused harm or injury in some way. It was Marjorie who had given him the first inkling of being accepted and having to look at himself and his behaviour because there was nothing to attack. How do you fight and quarrel with someone who shows love and acceptance? It’s the most frustrating experience and yet transcends normal understanding because we live in a world that functions primarily upon conditional love and acceptance.
He owed Marjorie his life!
James gazed hard at Thomas and nodded his head. Could there be promise for him?
“What must I do to win Marjorie back?” James blurted. “That farm boy just might steal her away from me!”
Incredibly, James had just experienced such incredible insight into himself through Thomas’s sharing yet, he didn’t see how trapped he still was in his old world.
“It’s a process James, growing out of the old habits and perceptions, into new ones; it takes time. But if we stick to it and …”
“And what, Thomas?”
“I prayed a lot, James, for the Lord to help me. I believe we need His strength to grow out of ourselves.”
Thomas stared hard at James and dared to challenge James’ thinking. “I see getting Miss Jenny back as just another competitive venture of yours, James. Pride is rearing its head. You see Henry as inferior to you. What could Miss Jenny possibly see in a man from the farm? Could it be James, that that’s the very thing that Miss Jenny sees and understands and drives her away from you? You wish to own her; she is just another possession in your eyes. Do you really want her back because you love her, or do you want her back to prove that you are better than Henry; that you own this precious lady and for the whole world to see just how lucky you are?”
Thomas stopped and dared to glance at his employer, fully expecting a blast, but what Thomas saw was a man whose light just went on; an ‘aha’ moment. James was speechless.
“Yes, Thomas, yes… how can Jenny love me? She often said that I consider her as another possession, an acquisition… yes, but… but how do I love her Thomas? I don’t know how to love… I love in the only way I know how.”
“You have made the first step James. You have become aware of who you are and the need to become who you really are. It takes some soul searching and total honesty. It hurts to look at ourselves honestly, but the struggle is worth it all. Gradually, you will come to know what it means to love. It’s within you. Jenny saw it all the time and that’s why she accepted you. You see, at the core of your being is love… a reflection of your creator. As you grow and come closer to this core you will draw love from it… true honest to goodness love.
“At the start of our conversation, I said that the Bible pointed out to me something I was very guilty of that kept me from enjoying life and my fellow man—”
“Most of what you were talking about seemed to centre around your pride. Was that it?” James was eager to know if his assessment was correct.
“Yes, James; pride. It’s our pride, James, that is truly the root of all our problems. Overcome your pride, James, and I will guarantee you heaven on earth.”
“Is that what you have gleaned from the Bible?”
“Yes, Jesus Christ taught us how to love. He laid out the map for us; how we should live with one another. As we yield our will more and more to Him and discipline ourselves with His strength to follow Him and His teachings, we grow to love. You will soon see, James, as you read
the Bible, His example to love, to forgive, to accept, to not judge, and to even go the distance to die for us in spite of our sinfulness—”.
“That’s the part I was just reading when you came by earlier. It makes me skeptical of the whole thing, Thomas. If Jesus is God’s son, why on earth would He come down to earth and put up with all that crap? Allowing Himself to be tortured, scourged, and crucified and… what kind of Father is God to allow this to happen to His Son? If my son was in that position, I would zap all those involved in a minute. It doesn’t make sense.”
“Once you understand the entire picture, James, it will. Out of love for us and to open the gates of heaven so that when we die, we may join Him for eternity, His Son agreed to die for us in payment for all our sins. Trust me, James, when the full impact of that hits your mind, heart and soul you will understand the tremendous sacrifice Jesus made for us. We were talking about pride. What you just described about Jesus putting up with all the abuse and torture is the perfect example of humility. There isn’t an ounce of pride to be found in what Jesus and God the Father did for us.”
Thomas said those words with such depth of meaning, tears surfaced in his eyes.
“You know, Thomas, when I sit here and look back over the years and how I treated Marjorie, in many ways she was like that Christ guy. She put up with a lot of crap that I threw at her almost every day and yet, she just accepted it and returned kindness and acceptance of me. And now look, here we are years later and I am begging to have her back. Clearly, in spite of the hell I put her through; she was the happier, the stronger, more at peace and better off.”
James shook his head, “I’m confused. I just don’t understand it, Thomas.”
“You’re doing fine, James. Just keep working on the pride and it will all come together.”
Angel Promises Fulfilled Page 31