Worth It All

by Claudia Connor

  “I’ll walk you out,” he offered.

  “Okay.”

  “Casey,” she said again, and Casey let go of the bars and obeyed.

  They hadn’t gone more than five steps before Sean, a double-leg amputee, stopped him. “Hey, man, got a quick minute?”

  JT hesitated, his eyes going to Paige.

  “It’s okay,” Paige said with a smile. “We can find our way out.”

  “Bye, Jake,” Casey said.

  Sean went into a description of a problem he was having on the right side and not the left and an idea he had for the fix. JT listened and nodded, his attention divided between the man in front of him and Paige walking away.

  “Let’s set up an appointment,” he finally said to Sean.

  “Okay, sure.”

  JT caught up to Casey and Paige just as they reached the double glass doors. Even from several feet away, he’d heard Casey’s high-pitched voice, clearly unhappy. “Hey. Everything okay?” He held the door for Paige, then fell in step beside them.

  “No, it’s not okay,” Casey answered. “I don’t want to get shots.”

  “Ah.”

  Paige paused to pick her up. “Casey, you knew we were going to the doctor today. For some reason she thought I’d forget.” She said it with a smile but he caught the fatigue on Paige’s face before she covered it. He could only imagine the amount of stress she faced every day. He wanted to wipe that worried look off her face and replace it with the hazy, baffled desire he’d seen after their kiss.

  “Or change your mind,” Casey said.

  “I can’t change my mind, Case. It’s a rule.”

  “But I’m not even five yet!”

  Her sweet eyes filled with heavy tears threatening to spill over. It was disconcerting to say the least. “Does it have to be today? Maybe you could—” He broke off when Paige swung her face to his, eyes wide, brows raised. “Oh. Right. Of course it has to be today. You have an appointment, but…” Shit. The sight of Casey’s tears made his stomach twist.

  When they reached her car, Paige put Casey down and started the engine to get the air going. “But on the bright side,” she said, sending Casey a pointed look, “tomorrow is her actual birthday, and we’re going to do something really fun.”

  Casey sniffed. “Like what?” Her tone implied she didn’t think anything could make up for the torture she was about to endure.

  “I don’t know, I was thinking the park. The one we passed with the big green slide.”

  Casey wiped at her eyes. “Can Jake go?”

  “No, honey.” Paige opened the back door and waited for Casey to climb into her booster. “Jake’s not going to the park.”

  “If I get my shots, he can want to go,” she cried with her big blue eyes beaming up at him. “It’s my birthday and he’s my friend.”

  He opened his mouth to say he could go if that’s what Casey wanted. That he’d do anything she asked if it would make her smile.

  “Honey, getting shots for school is not optional. Come on, climb in.”

  Casey obeyed and Paige closed the back door and faced him, blowing out a long breath. “One more strike against school. I hope the doctor’s office is ready for this.”

  There was a touch of amusement in her voice, but also an underlying worry. He’d wondered about the weight on her slight shoulders, now he knew.

  Paige glanced back at the car, then at him, biting her lip. “Thank you again. She didn’t want to do anything in there, or not anything with her prosthesis, until you got there. I should have gotten her into a playgroup, maybe a group of kids with prosthetics, but I didn’t think she needed it. I don’t know.” Her gaze fell and she shook her head slowly. “I should have gotten her into some kind of playgroup.”

  “I think she’s great.” Paige’s eyes came back to meet his and, God, she was so beautiful, even with the little frown between her brows that he wanted to smooth away.

  Casey slapped her hand against the window, then mashed her open mouth to the glass, which made them both smile.

  “I could go. To the park,” he added quickly. “If that’s what she wants. Maybe if I watched her walk around more, watched her move, I’d get a better sense of what the problem might be.” His instinct said there was nothing wrong with the prosthesis, but he kept that to himself for now. Paige had enough weight to carry for the day. He had an idea forming that might help. And maybe if he spent more time around Paige, he’d get a better sense of what he was doing there too. Even though his head told him it wasn’t a good idea, the rest of him couldn’t seem to stay away from her.

  “You don’t have to do that just because she cried. Anyway, I’m sure you’re busy.”

  Actually, he wasn’t. Other than work, or screwing around with Simon. He smiled in Casey’s direction, now making slobbery faces against the glass with enthusiasm. He wanted to see Paige again, both of them. And he wanted to help. Not just Casey, he wanted to help Paige too. “The park would be fun, but I’ve got a better idea.”

  Chapter 7

  Jake’s better idea was going to a citrus fair in the neighboring county. She’d invited Jenny, who’d already planned to spend the day with them for Casey’s birthday, and Jake had said Simon would most likely join them. It’d be a group. No big deal. No reason for her stomach to be a ball of nerves.

  Paige paused at the doorway of their tiny bathroom and watched her cousin carefully apply eyeliner. “We’re going to a fair, Jen, not a club.”

  “This is my norm, plus you said Jake might bring a friend.” Jenny finished the other side, then met Paige’s eyes in the mirror. “And I guess your flirty little sundress and perfectly styled hair are for the Twirly Bird?”

  Paige ran a hand over the hair she’d left down for once. “I wouldn’t call this styled. All I did was brush it.”

  “Don’t tell people that. They’ll hate you.”

  “Ha. Not likely.”

  Jenny raised a brow, giving Paige an up-and-down perusal.

  “What?” She looked down at the pale blue fabric hanging a few inches above her knees. “It’s comfortable and it’s cool.”

  “Uh-huh.”

  Okay. Maybe she had spent more time picking out her clothes, maybe a little extra care with her makeup, but…“It’s not a big deal.”

  “You’ve looked out the window more times than Casey, and that’s saying something.”

  Paige ignored Jenny’s observation but felt a stir in her belly. Nervous and excited and unsure.

  “You want him,” Jenny sang softly.

  “Stop it. I don’t want him.” Lie. “I like him.” True, but there was the memory of his hard body plastered against hers, big hands framing her face, fingers sliding into her hair. If she’d thought it’d been hard to breathe around him before the kiss, that was nothing compared to after. She was surprised she hadn’t passed out yesterday at Evolution. And she had an entire day ahead of her.

  “I told him I didn’t date, anyway.”

  “What? Why on earth would you tell him that?”

  “Because I don’t.” She’d barely given it a thought since she’d gotten pregnant. Until now.

  “You haven’t. Not the same thing as don’t. And, you kissed him,” Jenny said, grinning.

  “I regret telling you that.”

  “I’m sure you do, but I saw your eyes when you told me. You can’t hide.” Jenny scooted past her out of the bathroom.

  She’d known telling Jenny about that kiss was going to bite her in the ass. And with her emotions running rampant every time she thought of Jake, she could only imagine what her cousin had seen.

  She joined Casey at the scarred table where she sat, circling numbers and placing animal stickers in a dime-store workbook. She liked to do what she called “her work.” That made her attitude toward going to kindergarten even more baffling, but they’d already discussed it several times. Casey could give no reasons she didn’t want to go other than she just didn’t want to. Not incredibly helpful. Hoping to sneak
in a few minutes of her own studying, she opened her course book on the Roman Empire.

  “Mommy, did you ever know a prince?”

  Paige smiled at Casey’s out-of-the-blue question. “Nope.”

  “Does everyone get a prince?”

  “No, baby. No one gets a prince. Unless you live in a country that still has kings and queens, and then I guess it’s possible.”

  Casey’s obsession with royalty just proved that kids came with their own likes and dislikes. She’d never bought Casey Disney stuff, didn’t buy her the movies or sing the songs; she’d never been into it herself. But a commercial here, a walk through Walmart there, and by the time Case was three she was all about the fairy-tale princess.

  And the prince.

  Her own mom had desperately wanted Prince Charming and Paige had watched her go through more than her share of frogs. My prince is coming, she’d tell Paige with tears in her voice. He never came.

  “There’s always a prince,” Casey went on, drawing rows of tall, pointy rectangles sticking into blue clouds. “We don’t have one.”

  “We don’t need a prince, baby.”

  Was it a mother’s job to quell the disillusionment of glitter and fairy dust, or her duty to foster a belief in beautiful possibilities? Of course she wanted the dream of a happily ever after for Casey, but what could she say when she didn’t believe in it herself?

  “But what if you’re a princess? Then can you get a prince? What about turning a frog into a prince? I could do that. I need to draw a frog. When is Jake coming?”

  “I don’t know.” And she didn’t miss her daughter’s thought flow from prince to Jake.

  “I want to wait outside. I need to feed Leon.”

  “Great idea.” All too happy for a change of subject, Paige closed her book and stood. “Grab your leg.”

  “I don’t want it.”

  “Casey, you’ll need it. I can’t carry you all day.”

  “Jake can carry me.”

  And he probably would too. Paige had a sudden, vivid image of that, her small daughter in his big arms. She ignored the little hiccup in her heart. “Casey, why don’t you want to wear it? Is it hurting you again?”

  “No.”

  Paige barely contained her sigh. She hated how much she wanted Casey to get over this. Hated how badly she needed Casey to go to kindergarten and be happy so that she could go to school herself. “Get it anyway. Jake wants to watch you walk in it.”

  “Why?”

  “So he can make sure it fits okay.”

  “Is he wearing his?”

  “Of course. Have you ever seen him not wear his?” She started to point out that Jake couldn’t cartwheel and forward roll around work, like she couldn’t do in kindergarten, but she didn’t. She was already afraid some misplaced comment about kindergarten had started this attitude toward her prosthesis.

  “Okay. I’ll wear it.”

  Paige waited for her to put it on, then followed her outside. “How are you going to get Leon to come out?”

  “He’ll come. He lives in his ’partment under there.” She pointed under the trailer.

  Paige had never actually seen the turtle, not that it mattered. Casey was happy enough whether he was real or imagined as she picked blades of grass for a bed or a snack, whichever Leon might choose.

  The front side of the trailer blocked the afternoon sun and the breeze was warm and dry. She should put her hair up. She pulled a hair band from her wrist and did so, rolling her eyes at herself for the reason she’d left it down. No matter how attracted she was to Jake, no matter how much she liked him, she needed to remember that wasn’t part of her plan. Casey, work, school, better job. No time to get sidetracked.

  Minutes passed and Casey sighed. “There’s not enough nature in our yard.”

  Nope. And there wasn’t much of a yard either, which got her mind solidly back on track.

  Paige moved down to sit beside Casey and picked up a tiny pebble. “Does Leon like chicken nuggets?” She dropped the rock into Casey’s hand, starting her on a new quest.

  Jenny joined her on the step and whipped out her cherry-flavored roll-on lip gloss.

  “Me too!” Casey said, reaching, always ready for Jenny’s makeup.

  “Yes. You too, my little diva.” Jenny handed it to Casey and they watched her roll on the clear shine.

  She smiled at her daughter’s excitement and grown-up look. She’d be big soon. All the more reason to stay focused.

  A minute later, Jake arrived. Paige took a breath as he parked on the road at the end of the open space and got out amid Casey’s squeals of joy and Jenny’s deep, woman-smitten sighs. He had a quiet, easy way about him. There was no swagger, he didn’t saunter—though looking like he did, he most definitely could have. Could have sauntered, sashayed, skipped, or even flown, and any woman in his vicinity would have fallen into his arms, their eyes glassing over.

  It was army green cargo shorts and a black polo-style shirt today, and she wondered if he’d worn shorts for Casey’s benefit. She hadn’t known him long, but it seemed like something he would do.

  She stood, dusted off her bottom, then squeezed Jenny’s hand when she stood up beside her. “Do not run off and leave me.”

  “What? Casey’s not enough of a chaperone? Afraid you’ll maul the man? I would be.” She sighed dramatically. “So hot.”

  “I mean it, Jenny.”

  “Of course you do.” Jenny sent her a too-sweet smile. “Here. Put on some lip gloss and simmer down.”

  She definitely needed to simmer down. After years of not wanting a man’s touch—an opinion Jenny frequently called ludicrous—she was shocked by how much she wanted Jake’s.

  “Hi, Jake,” Jenny said, meeting him halfway. “I don’t think we’ve been formally introduced.” Jake met her with a handshake, let Casey grab onto his other hand, and smiled at Paige still some feet away. Was it possible to feel a smile?

  If she was looking to rid herself of butterflies, or feeling like a leaf shaking precariously at the end of a branch, Jake McKinney and his earth-shattering kisses, his smile, and his sweetness were not the way to go. But, she thought, walking over to meet him, she was going.

  Chapter 8

  There was nothing like a county fair on a breezy California day. Eighty-eight degrees with wisps of white stretching across the blue sky. JT sat at a picnic table, legs stretched out in front of him, elbows resting on the table behind him. The crowd moved in front of him like salmon swimming in both directions, and JT kept his eye on the bathroom exit to make sure he didn’t miss the girls coming out. Simon sat beside him, doing the same.

  The event spread across an open field used for everything from air shows to concerts. The pinging and popping of games, each with their own music and blinking lights, filled the air. Screams from a nearby ride grew loud, then soft as it spun and rolled the willing victims on a lopsided wheel.

  “So tell me again how you ended up inviting Paige to the fair?”

  He heard the laughter in Simon’s voice. “Don’t make me regret letting you come.”

  “Letting me? You couldn’t have stopped me. Watching you fall will be highly entertaining.”

  “I told you. It’s not like that.”

  “You can tell me all you want. I see how you look at her.”

  He tried to ignore his friend, but he knew it was true. Even in the midst of all the chaos, he’d been acutely aware of her every movement since he’d picked her up two hours ago. Every time he felt her beside him or heard her voice, his heart thrummed in his chest.

  “For someone who doesn’t get involved, you’re looking pretty involved.”

  Simon gestured to the mostly eaten blue cotton candy in JT’s hand and the purple giraffe behind him. “I told you. We were talking and it just slipped out.”

  Simon laughed. “For someone who doesn’t talk a lot, you sure are doing a lot of talking.”

  Yeah. He’d noticed, but he was different around Casey and Paige. S
omething he’d have to think about later.

  “I don’t see you complaining,” JT said.

  “Nope. What’s to complain about? There’s seventy-five different foods on a stick. No, man, I think it’s great. Sweet girl. Sweet mom.”

  “And Jenny.” JT snuck a glance at his friend, curious for his reaction.

  “Yep.”

  JT straightened his right leg, pushing his prosthetic heel into the ground to get a stretch in his quad.

  Their attention was caught by Jenny’s wildly waving hand. Wearing cutoffs, a yellow crop top, and her perpetual smile, she moved toward them with Casey in her arms.

  Casey had walked fine with her prosthesis as far as he could tell, but she’d ditched it an hour ago. He assured Paige it wasn’t unusual for her to get tired when she wasn’t used to walking in it for long periods. Hell, half the kids here were being carried or pushed in strollers, and she barely weighed anything. He didn’t mind carrying her. But he was growing more convinced that there was nothing wrong with the device itself.

  He’d checked her stump closely when she took it off, and found nothing. Her gait was near normal, would probably be even better in a prosthetic he designed. And most of all, when she was otherwise occupied, she didn’t mention or seem to notice it at all.

  “Hey, guys. Here we are,” Jenny said, joining them. She sat Casey beside him on top of the table.

  “Where’s Paige?” he asked, which got him another amused look from his friend that he noticed Jenny shared.

  “She’s coming. We got Little Bit here cleaned up, and then the girl’s bathroom line exploded.” Jenny produced a folded-up piece of paper from her pocket. “There’s a beer festival on the other side.” She handed the flyer to Simon. “Want to check it out?”

  “Sure.”

  “Well, come on, big guy. Let’s bust a move.” Jenny kissed Casey on the head. “Have fun. Win me something pretty.”

  Simon stood and looked down at JT. “Catch up with you later, man. Or not.”

  And with a laugh from the fun-loving, take-nothing-serious pair, they were off.

  “So,” Casey said, swinging her foot beside him, “what do you want to talk about?”