Boxed Set: Egg and the Hameggattic Sisterhood: [The 12 book 1st adventure + the series prequel]

by Robert Iannone

“Where is she?”

  “You can’t see her . . . she’s invisible. We’re very close.”

  “Enough,” commanded Dazzle. “How do we find this swamp?”

  “Funny you should ask.”

  “Funny ha-ha?” asked Egg suspiciously.

  “Ummm . . . not so much.”

  “Would you please just tell us? You’re driving me crazy,” complained Aeri’elle.

  “Easy, there, big bird; I’m getting to it. Keep walking down this path for about a mile till you get to a very deep gorge. Then just cross over.”

  “What do you mean . . . cross over? Is there a bridge?”

  “Kind of.”

  “J’azzz-min,” said Dazzle sternly.

  “There’s a giant fallen tree that goes from one side to the other. All you gotta do is walk across. But just don’t look down.”

  “Why not?”

  “It’s a tad high.”

  “Egg, it is your choice.”

  Flying Girl was obviously not afraid of heights. Neither was Sylvia or the dragons. “Come on. Let’s just get this over with.” So they packed up their stuff, and Egg took the lead. Aeri’elle and Soo’ walked on either side of the crying Bl’azzz, and the other three followed behind.

  *****

  They made it to the tree bridge. And J’azzz was right about one thing . . . it was a very, very long way down.

  “I don’t think I can do this,” said a terrified K’ssss.

  “Sure you can. I’ll get on your back and we’ll go together.”

  “What about you, Soo’?” asked Sylvia.

  “I’m good.” She sounded braver than she felt.

  “Isn’t that too weird?”

  “What?”

  “It’s black and white until you get to the middle of the bridge; then it turns to normal colors.” The girls hadn’t noticed that before.

  “Care to guess where the Colorless Wood ends?”

  “About half way across.”

  “Give that girlie a gold star.”

  “So now what?”

  “Just cross over.”

  “Aren’t you going to tell us about the Swamp?”

  “Absolutely, positively, without a doubt . . . If you can make it across.”

  “What do you mean . . . if?”

  “Did I say that? Slip of the tongue.”

  “Liar, you freaky, foolish feline.”

  Ignoring the little exchange, Dazzle asked, “It does not seem like a swamp on the other side. Why is that?”

  “It changes just beyond those trees.”

  “What danger is there in crossing this bridge?”

  “Let’s see . . . what possible danger is there in crossing over an old dead tree that’s about fifty kagillian miles above the ground? Gee . . . I just can’t think of any. Nope, you’re right, it’s all good.”

  “Why don’t you go first?” challenged Soo’.

  “Like I could get hurt . . . get real, girlie.” With that, the cat scampered across the tree trunk and onto the other side. “Last one across is a fur ball.”

  Egg turned to the sobbing dragon, put her hands on her head and said, “Sister, you will follow me across this bridge and you will not try to fly off of it.” She was afraid the dragon in her current state might try to fly away. “Okay, you guys . . . Bl’azzz and I are going first. Then K’ssss and Sassi will follow. Syl . . . you get on Soo’s back and help her across. Aeri’elle . . . if anybody falls, save them if you can.”

  Chapter 9 – Switch Swamp

  The giant tree bridge fell and K’ssss screamed, “IT FELL.”

  It split in the middle right where the black and white world ended and the normal colored one began. It snapped with a gigantically loud ‘crrraaaack’ sound then plummeted the kagillian miles to the rocky floor below.

  “Oh my gosh.”

  “Would you pleeeease stop saying that,” whined the cat.

  “Can you think of something better to say?”

  “How about . . . ummm . . . oh yeah; timmmmmmmberrrrrrrr.”

  “Gee, that’s much better,” said Soo’ rolling her eyes.

  “How come it did that?” asked Sylvia.

  “Cause it’s an old dead tree and you fat things just walked across it.” The tree broke just as Aeri’elle had stepped off.

  “It could have broken with us on it,” the dragon said in a huff.

  “Oh my gosh . . . you’re right,” said J’azzz doing her best Egg impression.

  “J’azzz-min, tell us what you can about the Swamp.” Dazzle wanted to bring the conversation back to what was important.

  “I already told you not to drink the water.”

  “Because it does what exactly?” inquired Sassi.

  “You do a switcheroo with the one closest to you. Sometimes you switch minds, sometimes personality . . . you never really know.”

  “Is it a permanent change?”

  “Pretty much everything that can go wrong from here on in is a forever thing.”

  “What else can you tell us?”

  “Let’s see . . . well, there are a lot of icky things that live in swamps. It’s no different here.”

  “Are they dangerous?”

  “You wouldn’t want them for house pets.”

  “So how do we find our way out of the swamp?”

  “And don’t get us lost again,” said Aeri’elle angrily.

  “Geez, you make one little mistake and they never let you live it down. This is a tough crowd.”

  “Well . . .,” said Egg impatiently.

  “Follow the current and look for very tall trees with fur.”

  “A tree with fur . . .” Egg just shook her head. She didn’t know whether to laugh at the ridiculousness of everything they’d encountered, or cry . . . for the same reason.

  “It’s not really fur . . . it just looks like it.”

  “Point one out so we know what we are looking for?” commanded Dazzle. So the cat looked around and pointed at a tall moss covered tree.

  “Oh, it’s so pretty,” cooed K’ssss. “Could I pet it?”

  “No, you dopey, dim-witted denizen.”

  “Anything else you can tell us?” asked Dazzle.

  “Ummm . . . it’s going to be hot and humid with lots of bugs, a few very weird creatures, and some strange smells. If I were you, I’d get through this place with cat-like speed.”

  “And how can we do that?”

  “Don’t walk. Oh dear, look at the time. Gotta go . . . let’s do lunch sometime.” She blew them a kiss and then the irritating cat winked out of existence.

  “After we beat Mobius, I get first dibs on the cat,” said Soo’ with an evil grin.

  “I’ll arm wrestle you for her,” said Sylvia momentarily forgetting that sea serpents lacked the appropriate appendage.

  “It is a worthy goal, and I may choose to compete for the honor myself. But first we should prepare for our journey through this vile place.” She turned and looked expectantly at Egg.

  “Let’s go take a look at the swamp then we can decide what to do.”

  So they walked down a curvy path, which descended into a valley. And as the made the last turn, they stopped and stared at Switch Swamp…

  “Ohhhh my gosh,” moaned Egg.

  The other girls just stared with their mouths hanging open until Soo’ said, “Gross,” which nicely expressed what all of them were thinking. The water was a muddy reddish color with strange streaks of yellow.

  “I thought you were dying to get back in the water?” teased Aeri’elle.

  “Clean water . . . yes. Salt water . . . yes. Clean, salt water . . . absolutely. But this is downright disgusting. It’s dirty, it’s muddy and it smells awful.”

  “Most unpleasant,” declared the Princess.

  “How the heck are we supposed to get through this?” asked Egg. Unfortunately, since she was the leader of the pack, her question wasn’t all that inspiring to her sisters.

  They stood there frozen by indecis
ion until Sassi volunteered, “Let me try walking through it . . . just to see.”

  “Be careful.”

  “I will, K’ssss. Okay . . . here goes nothing.” She stepped into the water and yelled, “Oh, goodness. It’s so muddy on the bottom and my feet are stuck in it.”

  Egg and Sylvia grabbed the girl by her arms and pulled her out.

  “Thank you.”

  “Now what?”

  “Rats, rats, rats, rats, rats,” groaned Soo’.

  “Rats . . . where? I hate rats.” Everyone hated rats and they looked around anxiously to see what Soo’ had seen.

  “NO, NO, NO. I didn’t mean actual rats. I meant that the only way we can get through this is if you guys use K’ssss and me as rafts. We may not like it, but we can swim in this muck.”

  Everyone but K’ssss looked relieved.

  “Thank you, Sister. And you K’ssss.”

  “You’re welcome, Majesty.”

  “H’sssss, H’sssss.”

  “What are you laughing at . . . you big dufus?”

  “I think the Princess really likes me.”

  “I more than like you, K’ssss. I love you and your Sisters. You are all such remarkable young ladies . . . truly the best of two worlds.” Her kind words did much to bolster their courage.

  And so, the two serpents gingerly slithered into the foul smelling, murky water. “Remember . . . don’t drink any,” Egg reminded them.

  “Yeah . . . just what I wanted to quench my thirst,” replied Soo’ sarcastically.

  Egg led Bl’azzz and they climbed on the back of Soo’. The F’yre Dragon was quietly sobbing and simply did as she was told. Sassi and Sylvia got on K’ssss.

  “Come on Aeri’elle,” called Egg to the dragon who was just standing there.

  “I will walk.”

  “Why?”

  “Don’t worry about it . . . I can easily carry you,” added Soo’.

  “Thank you . . . but I’ll walk alongside. If there is danger in the water, it’s unfair that you two have to brave it alone. Besides, with passengers on your back, you’ll be unable to protect yourselves.”

  “You show great courage, Sister.”

  Aeri’elle bowed low to the Princess. “No more than they, your Majesty.” Sometimes the girls were really amazed by the good Aeri’elle.

  *****

  The water was deep enough so that the two serpents could float and avoid rubbing against the horrible muck at the bottom. And by floating, they were drifting with the current . . . just like J’azzz-min told them to do.

  Everyone was very quiet as they scanned back and forth looking for danger. But the Swamp was such a strange place . . . everything looked and sounded and smelled of gloom and doom. It was frightening . . . much like the other lands.

  They were about an hour into their journey when it happened. One of those nasty creatures that J’azzz had warned them about fell out of a tree branch they were passing under. It landed on Soo’s head and she screamed.

  “Get it off…get it off. It’s hurting me…get it off.”

  Egg tried to ‘shoo’ it away, but the ugly thing just looked at her without moving. Aeri’elle, who was walking close by, leaned over the serpent and picked up the creature in her mouth. Then she tossed it into the air, caught and swallowed it.

  “OH, YUCK,” cried Egg.

  And Bl’azzz who was watching the whole thing screamed, “It’s not a q’cumber, it’s not a q’cumber,” then started to cry uncontrollably as the creature disappeared into Aeri’elle’s mouth.

  “It was actually very tasty.”

  “Did you ever think it might be poisonous?” asked Sylvia. The dragon just shrugged.

  “What was it?” wondered Sassi.

  “Just a red-headed, mottled skin, three toed tad’toad. Harmless . . . unless you eat it,” said a cat’s head floating in the water.

  Aeri’elle looked alarmed. “What happens if you eat it?”

  “Depends.”

  “On what?”

  “Did you chew it or just swallow it whole?”

  “I didn’t chew it.”

  “You’re lucky.”

  “So . . . I’ll be okay?” The dragon wanted to be reassured that she wasn’t in any danger.

  “You’re in the middle of the most dangerous swamp in the universe. If I was a betting cat . . . which I’m not . . . I’d bet you’ll never be okay again.” She paused then added, “Wanna bet?”

  “Go away cat.” Sylvia wished she had a pebble to throw at the obnoxious head floating in the filthy water.

  “I’m going, already. By the way, the guy who owned that tad’ toad isn’t very happy that you ate it.”

  “What guy?”

  “That guy,” and she pointed towards a bunch of trees. “Have a nice day.”

  They turned to where the cat pointed and saw . . .

  “I think we should leave . . . quickly,” said Sassi stating the obvious.

  “Most assuredly,” said Dazzle. “Sisters, please swim as fast as you can. Aeri’elle, get on Soo’s back until we are clear of this creature.”

  The girls didn’t need to be told twice. The shadowy thing was moving slowly towards them and it looked none too happy. Aeri’elle jump on Soo’s back and both serpents swam for all they were worth.

  As the distance between them and the . . . whatever it was . . . grew, the girls began to relax just a little. But the serpents kept up their pace and an hour later they had left the creature far behind.

  “I think I need to rest,” said a tired Serpent.

  “Me too. And I’m very hungry.” K’ssss being hungry was never a surprise to her sisters.

  “Egg . . . you must find a place to make camp. We all need food and rest.”

  *****

  Egg being Egg . . . she decided that they should follow what looked to be a beaver or muskrat or something swimming past them. Since it wasn’t a fish, she figured that it must live on land. So what the heck . . . they tagged along.

  And Egg being Egg . . . it worked. The animal led them to a little cove with just enough dry land where they could set up camp.

  “It’s almost nice . . . for a swamp,” observed Sassi.

  The serpents crawled onto the muddy beach and their passengers jumped off.

  “Doesn’t it hurt with so much weight on your back?” Sylvia asked Soo’.

  “Not really. She (pointing at K’ssss) and I may look like oversized sea slugs, but we’re mostly muscle. Not to brag or anything, but we’re pretty darn strong.”

  “Well, thank you both anyway.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  “Hey, you guys, let’s look around for some dry wood so we can make a fire,” said Egg.

  “It’s so hot and muggy, why in the world would you want a fire?”

  “Because we humans wear clothes and they’re wet. There is almost nothing more uncomfortable then that.”

  “Why don’t you just take them off? I never understood why humans wore them anyway.”

  Egg’s mouth fell open at the suggestion. She finally sputtered, “Well . . . well . . . we just can’t be walking around naked.”

  “Why not? Serpents and dragons don’t wear clothes.”

  Strangely enough, neither Sylvia nor she ever gave that fact much thought. All Egg could do in response was to blush a deep red.

  “If I may?” said Dazzle coming to the rescue.

  “OH, please” the young girl responded in great relief.

  “There are three reasons that humans choose to wear clothes. Most importantly, we do it for protection from the elements. Unlike you or our serpent sisters, we cannot be exposed to heat and cold without suffering ill effects. In this instance, we humans are inferior.”

  “Oh no, your Majesty. I didn’t mean to insult our human sisters.” Aeri’elle was horrified that the Princess had to admit such a thing on her account.

  “No insult was taken. Your question was a fair one. As for the next reason, we wear clothes for fashio
n. It is vain on our part . . . but we have always done so.”

  “That part I just don’t get,” said Soo’. “I think human clothes are just weird.”

  “It is one of those things that makes us different . . . but it is of such little importance as not to matter at all. As for the last reason, we do it for modesty. That modesty differs from culture to culture. On earth, for example, there are some societies that hide the faces of the women.”

  “Why?” asked a shocked dragon.

  “Again, it is just part of their tradition. How it evolved more often than not is lost in the mists of time. But the practice endures and becomes the expected behavior.”

  “Wow . . . humans are really weird.” Realizing she had just insulted the future Queen of Aerianna, Soo’ quickly added, “present company excluded.”

  Dazzle just laughed good-naturedly. “Have I answered your question, Aeri’elle?”

  “Yes, your Majesty. Thank you.”

  “Thanks, Dazzle.”

  “It is the least I can do for Flying Girl.”

  *****

  They were able to find some dry wood . . . mostly dead branches that they could snap off or cut with a long knife that they had brought. Tying a rope between trees, they could then spread out their wet clothes and let the heat of the fire dry them.

  As they sat around eating lunch, K’ssss asked, “Sassi . . . is it against the law for one person to try on the clothes of their friend?”

  The three human girls all giggled. “No, K’ssss. In fact, it is almost expected.”

  “Really? Could I try on something of yours?”

  Sassi lifted her eyebrows in surprise. She didn’t want to embarrass the serpent by telling her nothing she had could possibly fit her. “Was there something in particular that you would like to try?”

  “Oh, yes. That thing you wear around your neck. The green looks just like the ocean.”

  “My scarf . . . well, of course you can. In fact, I have an extra one in my backpack.” So the girl rummaged through her belongings and found what she was looking for. She held it up for K’ssss to see.

  “Ohhhh . . . it’s so pretty. Can you put it on me?”

  It took a bit of doing, but Sassi finally succeeded in getting it on the serpent’s neck. Then she found a small mirror and held it up for her sea sister. “It looks beautiful on you.”