Windward Crest

by Anne Hampson

  ‘You’ll crucify him! He’s been jilted once—’

  ‘No, Jake, you said yourself that there was no actual engagement.’

  ‘You have so many answers, Dominie,’ said Jake in a slightly quieter tone. ‘If only I hadn’t opened that damned book,’ he added, glaring at it as it lay on the small table by the window. ‘If only you yourself had never learned the truth!’

  ‘It would have come back to me some time, when we were married and I had been glancing through the book, as I most surely would have done, one day when I came across it.’

  ‘When you were married, yes. Far better then than now!’

  Dominie shook her head, wincing as a stabbing pain shot out from the slightly duller agony that seared her head and eyes.

  ‘No, Jake; it’s better that revelation came before we were married. I shall at least have the consolation that he’ll never hate me for killing his sister, because, this way, he won’t ever know that I killed her.’

  ‘He’ll hate you for throwing him over!’

  Her lips quivered.

  ‘True ... but this won’t hurt either of us as much as if he hated me for cutting short that lovely girl’s life.’

  Jake sat down on a chair opposite to her and, leaning forward, took both her hands in his.

  ‘Dominie, my child, for God’s sake look at this situation logically,’ he begged, his whole manner changing as the familiar gentleness reasserted itself. ‘Rohan will understand, if you explain how it was. You came from the mortuary, having undergone the terrible ordeal of having to identify your brother. You couldn’t think or see or act—you were numbed with grief. Rohan’s bound to understand.’

  She shook her head, and drew her hands from his.

  ‘He might try to understand, because he loves me and wants to marry me, but what about the future? Alicia’s birthday, the date of her death, other memories that inevitably must come to him over the years? He’ll look at me then and remember that it was I who was responsible for her death ... and he’ll come to hate me, Jake,’ she whispered convulsively, clenching her hands till the fingernails dug painfully into the palms.

  ‘I couldn’t bear that—’ She shook her head. ‘The way I’ve chosen is best, for us both.’ Jake merely tightened his mouth in a little gesture of frustration and Dominie continued, ‘You say I couldn’t think or act. This was true, and therefore, it was criminal of me to attempt to drive the car.’

  ‘Nonsense! It was because of the way you were that you did attempt to drive. Had you been able to think you’d have known that you weren’t in a fit condition to do so. And another thing: you weren’t to blame anyway. Someone at the police mortuary should have seen your condition, and taken you home. It was criminal of them to let you go off on your own.’

  Dominie moved impatiently.

  ‘I alone am to blame—’

  ‘I won’t have that I—and neither will Rohan. I’m telling him, Dominie.’

  ‘You won’t! You promised.’

  ‘Before you began. You made me promise without my knowing what you were about to say. I don’t now consider myself held to that promise, not after what I’ve learned.’

  Dominie looked into his eyes.

  ‘I shall never speak to you again if you break your word, Jake,’ she warned him, but in gentle tones. ‘It’s my profound wish that Rohan shall never know that I killed Alicia—’

  ‘Will you stop using that word! You didn’t kill her!’

  ‘Then who did?’ Dominie’s face was white, and devoid of expression. Her heart within her seemed dead. That she of all people should be the one responsible for Alicia’s death, she thought, irony twisting her mouth. Fate was diabolically cruel.

  ‘Rohan will understand,’ repeated Jake stubbornly, bypassing her question, for he could find no answer to it, obviously. That he wished he could was clearly portrayed on his drawn and anxious face, and Dominie knew a fleeting moment of warmth. But she said, in tones of utter despair,

  ‘He’ll never be given the opportunity of understanding. I mean what I say, Jake; he’s to remain in ignorance of the fact that it was I who was driving that car.’

  Jake stood up; he was restless and tired. She asked him again to go to bed.

  ‘You’ve been ill,’ she reminded him, but he cut her short with an impatient lift of his hand.

  ‘I’m not going to bed until I know what your intentions are.’

  ‘I’ve told you; I’m giving him up and leaving St. Thomas.’

  ‘What about me, and the children?’

  She spread her hands, saying he would have lost her anyway.

  ‘As I’ve mentioned, Rohan was unwilling to prolong our engagement and he intended telling you about us as soon as he considered you were well enough to begin looking round for someone else. I’ll stay until you get someone, Jake.’ Even in the midst of her misery she could think of Erica and she added, ‘Tomorrow, when we’re less tired, we’ll talk about it. I think I know someone who might like to come and care for the children.’

  Jake brushed that off, not having taken much notice of what Dominie was saying, because his mind was otherwise occupied.

  ‘I can’t see Rohan accepting your reason for giving him up,’ he said after a long while. ‘From what you’ve told me he’s just about as much in love as any man can be, and he knows that you feel the same about him, so he’s going to start thinking when, just like that, you tell him it’s all off.’

  Dominie made no reply for a few minutes as she mused on the way in which she could tackle the problem of ending the engagement with as much speed as possible. For if she became entangled in an argument she must surely burst into tears and blurt out the whole. This she was determined to avoid. Rohan must never ever learn the truth about the accident that robbed Alicia of her life.

  ‘As I told you, Jake,’ she said at last, ‘Rohan and I weren’t too friendly when he left the other evening. He knew I was angry because of the way he was with Sylvia—’

  ‘You said it was the way Sylvia was with him,’ Jake interrupted to remind her. ‘Also, you admitted that your anger was unreasonable, quite misplaced, directed at Rohan when he himself had done nothing.’

  ‘That’s true, I did say so, and I admit I was wrong in being angry with him. But that isn’t important—except that it helps me in my purpose, of course.’ How calm she sounded! She was talking about ending her engagement just as if it didn’t matter. But she was numbed inside and could not feel. Tomorrow her heart would be wrenched right out of her by the pain of the parting she intended to bring about. ‘He was also angry,’ she continued on noticing Jake’s attitude of waiting. ‘He was angry with me for being unreasonable. And so he was cool and unfriendly when he said goodnight.’

  ‘I never noticed,’ Jake cut in, and Dominie then pointed out that he would not notice, simply because at that time he had no knowledge of the engagement and, therefore, would not be looking for a sign of affection in Rohan’s goodnight.

  ‘I was too upset to answer him,’ she went on, her mouth trembling at the memory. ‘I was hurt and contrite and—oh, I felt awful, Jake! And as I failed to answer him he would naturally conclude that I’d done it on purpose, because I was still angry. Then when he didn’t call or phone I was frantic that he didn’t want anything more to do with me—’

  ‘That was my fault,’ interrupted Jake with a frown. ‘He phoned me and naturally expected me to mention the call to you, telling you the reason for it—’ He broke off, his frown deepening. ‘You know,’ he went on thoughtfully, ‘I do seem to recollect that he asked me to mention to you that he was called away ... yes, I’m sure he did.’ Jake looked at her through almost anguished eyes. ‘Why didn’t I remember? I expect I attached no particular importance to the message.’

  ‘Of course you wouldn’t,’ she agreed, ‘not being in the picture regarding our relationship.’

  ‘No...’Again he became thoughtful. ‘This evening on the way home—’ He glanced at the clock automatically. ‘Last e
vening,’ he amended, ‘when you spoke of my remarrying I actually believed you were—were making a subtle proposal to me—’ He broke off, uttering an impatient exclamation. ‘What made me say that? It’s nothing to do with this business of your intention of breaking your engagement.’

  But Dominie was diverted, having been utterly taken aback by his admission.

  ‘I was thinking of Erica,’ she told him at last.

  ‘Erica?—and me?’

  ‘She loves you, Jake,’ responded Dominie quietly, feeling sure that Erica would not mind at all that she was telling Jake this. ‘She’s loved you for a very long time.’

  A profound silence followed, with Jake lost in reflection and Dominie watching him closely for any signs of emotion.

  ‘Erica...’ he breathed, and after another pause, ‘What did she look like?’

  ‘She’s slim and dainty—and exceedingly pretty. She came here several times, as I told you. She was lonely, Jake.’

  He looked at her, then his eyes fell on the scrapbook and he said, returning his gaze to her,

  ‘The children? How did she get along with them?’

  ‘They liked her enormously; she was happy when reading to them or playing with them. They all got along fine together.’

  Jake’s eyes were still fixed on Dominie’s white face. He said gently,

  ‘In the midst of your own heartache you can spare a thought for others. No wonder Rohan loves you. You can’t leave him, Dominie,’ he added with a slight lift to his tone. But she was shaking her head and unconsciously he spread his hands in a helpless gesture.

  ‘To return to Rohan and me,’ she said. ‘The fact that he believed me to have snubbed him by not bidding him goodnight has helped the situation. He’ll think I’m moody and unpredictable. So when I quarrel with him over his not letting me know he was going away he’ll not be too surprised.’

  Jake was staring at her in disbelief.

  ‘Do you really believe that he’s going to let you go as easily as all that? Oh, I know you’ve explained about the method you’re intending to adopt, but I said then and I say now, that Rohan isn’t going to let you go. He’ll suspect something beneath this weak and totally unconvincing excuse for throwing him over—and, knowing Rohan as I do, I can say without any doubt at all that he’ll get the truth from you, even if he has to resort to coercion. So watch your step, Dominie; Rohan isn’t an ordinary man—not a softie like me. You haven’t seen the other side of his character, but if you do you’ll not forget it in a hurry.’

  Dominie was afraid, now that the time had come to meet Rohan, and tell him the engagement was ended. And she decided in one moment of panic to leave the island by the first available plane. But that idea was soon crushed. She could never leave Jake in the lurch. He might eventually send for Erica, but that was in the future, and Dominie’s problem was concerned with the present. She told Jake of her fear when, immediately on his arrival at Windward Crest, Rohan telephoned to say he was coming over in about half an hour’s time.

  ‘Obviously you’re afraid,’ returned Jake, shaking his head at her. ‘And it’s all so unnecessary. Rohan loves you, and love can overlook anything.’

  ‘Not anything, Jake. As I said, the time will come when he’ll hate me—’

  ‘Rubbish!’

  ‘I’m giving him up,’ she said quietly and, uttering a deep sigh, Jake left her, standing there, on the terrace, among the flowers, a forlorn figure whose eyes were pricking with unshed tears and whose heart seemed to be seared right in two.

  She glanced towards the drive as the car came along it, the fact that Rohan had been too impatient to walk only adding to her unhappiness. He was so eager to see her, to make up their little difference of the other night ... to take her in his arms and claim her eager lips.

  White-faced and trembling, she began to walk to a secluded bower, first making sure he had seen her. He followed after getting from the car.

  ‘Dominie,’ he said huskily on reaching her. ‘My girl ... I’m sorry if you were hurt.’ His inviting arms were spread and she had to exert all her force to control her legs, to prevent them from carrying her the couple of yards which separated her from the man she loved—the only man she would ever love. He was sorry ... The apology registered, and it hurt excruciatingly that she was unable to tell him from the depths of her contrite heart that it was she who should apologize, as the fault had been all hers. But the apology served another purpose and, looking at him up and down, she said,

  ‘So you should be, Rohan! Your conduct was disgraceful. And you didn’t even phone me to say you were sorry—you just went off, not caring how I felt.’ She stopped, choked with misery as she saw his outstretched arms fall to his sides, and his face go pale beneath its tan. ‘If you treat me like that now, then what would it be like if we were married?’ She swept him another contemptuous glance. ‘I’m not willing to take the risk,’ she added on a note of finality, half turning from him in disdain. ‘Our engagement’s off, and—and here is your ring.’ She held it out, not daring to glance at him as he stood there, to one side of her, bereft of speech.

  He managed to speak at last, his voice faintly harsh, but disbelieving also, and edged with hurt.

  ‘Are you out of your mind? Are you fully aware of what you’re saying?’ He seemed dazed; his arrogant air that was almost always in evidence was replaced by bewilderment, and those wide straight shoulders sagged a little. Emotion swelled within her, pressing against heart and nerves in its effort to escape in a flood of tears and words of tender love. How could she remain here, distanced from him and the arms in whose embrace she could find herself, if only she would unprison her desires? She closed her fingers round the ring which he had made no move to take, and an uncontrolled step took her one pace nearer to her beloved. But then she stopped, that terrible memory slashing through her mind again, the memory that she was the woman responsible for his sister’s death. No, she told herself in one final resolve to adhere to her plan, there could be no future for Rohan and herself ... not with a shadow like that looming between them for the rest of their lives together. His hatred would begin as a little thing—a germ fertilized by a small tiff, perhaps. And it would grow, nourished by memories, as she had explained to Jake, and in the end Rohan would be unable to hold his hatred in check and he would reveal it to her in all sorts of ways. Better to end it now, when there would be the kind of hatred that would through the years dilute itself to mere dislike, and eventually to nothing more than indifference and, in the end, complete forgetfulness. Yes, Rohan would forget her; men were like that. He would have the odd affair, she felt sure, having experienced his ardour on more than one occasion. And some time, when he became tired of affairs he might look around for someone to marry—

  ‘Dominie! I’ve spoken to you! Answer me—don’t stand there looking superior and arrogant. Answer me, I say!’ Fury had now risen, as Dominie knew it would, and she heard her voice tremble when she spoke.

  ‘I’ve said all there is to say. I have no intention of marrying you—’ The words were brought to a shuddering stop as, seizing her by the arms, Rohan shook her until she felt that every bone in her body was broken. ‘Rohan ... oh, please don’t!’

  ‘What is it all about?’ he snarled, his anger-contorted face above her, his amber eyes lit with the flame of undiluted wrath. ‘You love me—I’m sure of it! What’s happened? By heaven, Dominie, I’ll not be responsible for my actions if you don’t come out with an explanation—immediately!’ He flung her from him and she fell back against a tree, the ring slipping from her nerveless fingers to roll away into a crevice in the stonework flooring of the bower.

  ‘I d-don’t love you,’ she managed, putting her arms behind her back so that he should not be able to grasp them again. The action seemed to sober him a little and the twist on his face disappeared. ‘I can’t marry you, Rohan.’

  ‘Can’t? he echoed swiftly, his eyes intent and deeply searching. ‘Can’t, Dominie?’

  She realize
d her mistake, and immediately set out to rectify it.

  ‘I can’t run the risk of being treated badly—’

  ‘Badly?’ he exclaimed, staring at her in amazement.

  ‘You certainly treated me dreadfully the other evening,’ she snapped, lifting her head and glaring at him. ‘Flirting with Sylvia! What sort of life can I expect with a man who flirts before his marriage—flirts right in front of his fiancee’s eyes! How humiliated I should have been had our engagement not been a secret!’ She stopped. Would he kill her? she wondered for one wild moment of terror as she watched the crimson tinge of colour creep into the tan of his cheeks and the almost satanic twist of fury return to his mouth.

  ‘I asked you for an explanation,’ he thundered, taking a step which brought him close again. ‘What’s happened!’

  She said through whitened lips,

  ‘I see that you’re so pompous, so very sure of your attractions, that it’s quite impossible for you to take in the fact that you’re being jilted. But that is the case, and you have no alternative than to accept it.’ Would that convince him? she wondered in a sort of panic. Jake had warned her that Rohan would not be thrown over so easily. He had also warned her of this other side of Rohan’s nature, but although she had expected anger, and braced herself to receive it, never in her wildest imaginings could she have visualized a fury like this. He was like a fiend, his handsome face a contortion of almost evil lines. And those hands ... the long hands, with sensitive fingers, strong and brown ... They were opening and closing spasmodically ... as if they were itching to grasp a throat—her throat—and press the life out of its owner. Dominie swallowed, removing saliva collecting in her mouth. If only she had not chosen this secluded place ... Her thoughts trailed off; too late to think of that now. Rohan’s face had become even more evil, but the hands were still and his shoulders had straightened, resuming their more familiar aspect of arrogance.

  ‘That’s your last word?’ he asked at last in tones of terrible harshness. ‘You have nothing more to say?’