A Lady of High Regard

by Tracie Peterson

  Mia sighed. The very thought of the lost children being returned to their mothers was more than she could have hoped for. “This is such wonderful news. Just imagine if those children can be brought home—what a miracle that would be.”

  Her father sobered. “It might not happen, Mia.”

  “I know you’re right. I have learned a hard lesson about the world and the people in it. I don’t want to be hopeless about such things, but rather I want to be educated and to educate others. I’m blessed to work with Mrs. Hale, as I feel this is a calling of the Lord. He would have us right the wrongs, Father. I know He would.”

  “Yes, but He would have us practice sound judgment and wisdom as well. Wise counsel is suggested over and over in the Bible. Please consider it before doing anything that would alter your life.”

  Mia smiled. “Then perhaps you should give me wise counsel about matters of the heart—about my heart.”

  “Supper is ready,” her mother declared. “Cook says she has taken extra care to prepare a roast that will melt in your mouth.”

  Mia’s father put his arm around her shoulder. “I can offer better advice on a full stomach. Let’s eat first, then discuss love.”

  CHAPTER 25

  I should be happy, Mia told herself the following day as she drove the buggy to church. Barrill was no longer a threat, and life would improve for the seamen’s wives.

  Sarah Hale was pressing for laws that would protect the innocent from such matters.

  Even her mother and father were concerned about aiding the poor. Her mother had suggested that they provide some type of community help for those less fortunate than themselves. Mia’s father was already planning to check into what resources were already available and what specific needs they could fill.

  I should be happy.

  But Mia knew the real source of her pain was Garrett. Her father had been rather elusive the night before when Mia wanted to know what she should do. Whereas before he had seemed quite willing to advise her to speak to her mystery man, last night he just seemed amused and suggested something to the effect that patience would be her ally.

  “But I don’t need an ally,” she muttered. “I need Garrett.”

  Pastor Brunswick was tidying up the church cemetery when Mia arrived. She secured the horse and went through the large iron gates to where he stood.

  “Mia, this is a surprise. Were you planning a meeting this morning?” He looked confused.

  “No. I came to talk to you.”

  “What can I do for you?”

  Mia ran her gloved fingers over the smooth headstone that simply read Broadman. “I find myself feeling rather confused.” She looked up and found his sympathetic expression encouraging.

  “Why don’t we sit on the bench and you can tell me what this is all about?”

  “I’d like that,” Mia said, following the pastor’s lead. “I’m sorry if I’m interrupting you.”

  “Not at all. That’s what I’m here for. Now tell me what’s bothering you.”

  Mia pursed her lips together and tried to figure a way to explain herself. “I’m selfish. I find myself wanting something, and it clearly belongs to someone else. I’ve tried not to think about it, but it haunts me. Last night I couldn’t even sleep.”

  “Well, that does sound serious,” he commented. “Can you explain in a little more detail?”

  Mia folded her hands and looked at the ground. “I’ve always loved to play matchmaker and see people happily settled. I helped both of my sisters to find their husbands, and many of my friends would tell you that I introduced them to their mates. I suppose I’ve just always loved the notion of love.”

  “That hardly seems a serious crime. God himself is love, and I believe He would not fault you for such activity.”

  “Yes, well . . .” Mia paused, feeling somewhat uncomfortable. “I’ve managed to fall in love myself. I didn’t mean to, nor was I looking for it, but now that it has happened I’m most unhappy.”

  “Unhappy? But I do not understand. I would think such a thing might delight you.”

  Mia looked up. “You would think that, wouldn’t you? I mean, I did. I figured that one day I would find that one special man and we would live happily ever after, just like in the fairy tales.”

  “But that is not the case?”

  She sighed and gazed out across the headstones. “No. I’ve fallen in love with a man who loves someone else.”

  “Oh, I see. That does present a problem.”

  “You may be assured of that.” She fell back against the bench. “The worst of it is, and you may have already guessed this, I introduced them. Well, not exactly. They were friends from long ago. But when she came back into our society, I thought she might make a lovely companion for my friend. What I didn’t realize—what I hadn’t planned on—was falling in love with him myself.”

  “I see. So now they are in love? What proof have you?”

  “They plan to marry,” she replied, shaking her head. “I suppose I’m just very good at what I do.”

  Pastor Brunswick chuckled. “I must admit I have seen evidence of such things. Still, perhaps it’s not too late. Are you certain they plan to marry or is it merely rumored?”

  “She was in our company at church on Sunday and announced to me along with several of my friends that they plan to marry. And I believe I accidentally witnessed the proposal. I was driving by her house when I happened to see them embrace in broad daylight—right there on the curb. I cannot account for it being for any other reason than a proposal.” Mia felt tears come to her eyes. “I wish I’d never allowed myself to love him.”

  “Does he know how you feel?”

  “No, not actually. I’ve tried on occasion to tell him, but something always interferes or I just get scared. I know it sounds silly; a person should just be able to speak what’s on their mind. But in truth, I didn’t know what was on my mind until recently. I didn’t realize that I was in love with him. Now if I declare my heart, I don’t know what might happen. I don’t want to be embarrassed, and I definitely don’t want to be laughed at. Should he think it all just good fun or the silly notion of a younger woman . . . well . . . I would be heartbroken.”

  “But you are already heartbroken. Maybe it would be best to go to this man and confess your feelings. It seems to me you have nothing to lose.”

  “I suppose.” She dabbed her gloved fingers to her eyes. Pastor Brunswick did have a point. If she let Garrett go without saying something, she would have only herself to blame. Besides, didn’t she know him well enough to know he would never intentionally hurt her?

  “So do you think that’s what God wants me to do in this? Confess my love to him?”

  “Mia, I think God would want you to trust Him—to believe that whatever happens, He has already seen the future for you and has good things in store. He loves you, child. He loves you as no human being will ever love you—not even your mother and father.”

  “I believe that. I’ve tried to commit my ways to Him, although I have been willful on occasion—and disobedient. But, Pastor Brunswick, I truly want to be obedient to God. I’ve known the misery that comes out of choosing my own way. I don’t want this situation to be just another time where I demanded my own way.”

  “Then don’t let it be,” he encouraged. “Pray about the matter and seek His guidance. God gives freely. He won’t desert you when you seek Him.”

  Upon her arrival home, Mia was greeted by Jason, who assisted her from the buggy. “Miss Mia,” he said, “have you heard the news?”

  “What news?”

  Jason’s cheeks flushed red. “Ruth and I were married today. Your father gave us the morning off.”

  “Oh, I wish I had known. I wanted to do something special for you.”

  “You’ve already done plenty for us—just helping us to admit our feelings for each other.” He looked to the ground. “I just wanted to say thank-you.”

  “You are most welcome,” Mia replied. “I’m v
ery glad that the match suited you both.”

  “We won’t forget your kindness to us, Miss Mia.”

  “You sound as if you are leaving us.”

  “I . . . I had wanted . . . ah . . . Ruth to share the news,” he stammered uncomfortably.

  Mia couldn’t imagine what the fuss was all about. “Why not tell me yourself?”

  He looked up and drew a deep breath. “We’ll soon be taking our savings and going west. I want to start my own horse farm. Your father says he’ll give us a fine broodmare to get us started.”

  “Why, Jason, that’s marvelous. I’m so happy for you both. Of course I shall miss you, but this is wonderful news.” Mia couldn’t be sad in light of such a joyous occasion. “I will speak to Ruth later and see how I might help.”

  “Oh no.” He shook his head. “You’ve helped enough, Miss Mia. Your family has been most generous. We couldn’t expect anything more.”

  She smiled. “We shall see. I’m a very determined woman, as you’ve come to learn.”

  Later that evening, Mia watched as the sun was dimming in the west, leaving shadows dancing as the trees swayed in the garden. The fanned branches of the bender oak and yellow buckeye trees were bathed in shades of green, gold, orange, and red, their leaves preparing to rain down upon the now dying flower beds. Here and there a few late roses could still be found blooming, but to Mia it seemed the end had come. She pulled her shawl closer.

  Autumn always reminded her of death. She sat in the stillness of the garden and thought about the future. Were her dreams dying, even as the vegetation around her was?

  But the trees and flowers weren’t dying; they were merely going to sleep for the winter. Perhaps her heart would do the same.

  “Would you mind some company?”

  Mia felt her heart nearly stop at the sound of Garrett’s voice. She looked up to find him watching her from the garden gate.

  “Are you still speaking to me?” she asked with a forced smile.

  “After my uncalled for behavior, I would have thought you’d given up on me.”

  “I might have said the same. Am I forgiven?”

  She sighed. “Garrett, there is nothing to forgive. I am the one who acted abominably. I hope you’ll forgive me.”

  He passed through the open gate and came to where she sat. Mia tried to forget about her declaration to him, hoping it had faded from his memory in light of his new romance with Eulalee.

  As he sat in the chair opposite her, Mia thought he’d never looked more handsome. She tried to still her nerves, but found it impossible. He was all that she dreamed of—all that she could ever hope to want in a husband.

  “Mia, I’m really sorry for the way I behaved. I was just so frightened for you. If someone had caused you harm, I wouldn’t have been able to forgive myself.”

  “But why? You would not be to blame. I made bad choices; I readily admit that now. I thought that because I was doing a noble deed, there could come no harm. I was unwise, and I’ve aged enough in the last few days to realize it.”

  “You said some things—”

  Mia trembled and let her shawl fall away. “Please don’t remind me.”

  Garrett frowned. “I think it important that we talk. There are some things I need to explain—to say to you. Before it’s too late.”

  CHAPTER 26

  Garrett could see the apprehension in Mia’s expression. He longed to put her heart at ease—to tell her of his love for her, but he wanted to say everything just right.

  “Mia, you know that I have cared for you for a very long time. Since you were a little girl, you’ve held a special place in my heart. There was always something so special about you—about our friendship.”

  He leaned forward and reached for her gloved hands. “We’ve been friends for so long that I think we’ve overlooked some of the most important things.”

  “What things?” Mia asked.

  “Perhaps one of the most important is that we tend to take our relationship for granted. What we have is quite different from what we share with anyone else, wouldn’t you agree?”

  Mia’s brows knit together, as if she were thinking hard on the question. “It is special,” she finally said. “More special than I realized.”

  Garrett nodded. “I feel the same. That’s just one of the things I’ve come to understand. I don’t want to lose you, Mia.”

  “You’ll never lose me,” she whispered. “Even if you go far away.”

  “You’ve convinced me with your matchmaking that no matter where I go, I should not be alone.”

  “I doubt you’ll ever be alone, Garrett. You’re far too charming a companion.” Her tone seemed to change from serious to lighthearted. “You will win friends anywhere you settle.”

  “But this is more than that. As I told you . . . well, I tried to tell you . . . you’ve convinced me to take a wife.”

  “Garrett, you should take a wife,” she said with such resignation that Garrett was momentarily taken aback. “You will make a wonderful husband. You are a good listener and a compassionate person, despite the things of which I’ve accused you.”

  “Mia, I want—”

  “No, please hear me out. I know I’ve said things that might have seemed . . . well . . . awkward and out of place. I never meant to cause you discomfort or the need to explain yourself to me.”

  “You don’t understand, Mia.”

  “Mr. Garrett!”

  The Wilson family’s cook was standing at the gate. “What’s wrong?” He got to his feet and started toward the woman.

  “It’s your father. Your stepmother said to come quickly. She thinks he’s about to pass.”

  “Oh, Garrett, I’m so sorry,” Mia said. She came to his side and gently touched his arm. “I’ll go tell Father.”

  He reached out and took hold of her arm. “I . . . Mia . . . please understand . . .” He felt frantic to tell her the truth of his heart, but he wanted the moment to be perfect. He wanted to be on bended knee before her—he wanted to speak beautiful words of love.

  “Go to him,” she urged. “We can talk later. I know what you want to tell me, and I’ll happily hear it when you get back.”

  He relaxed a bit and smiled. Maybe she did understand. Reaching up, he put his hand to her cheek. “You are very dear to me.”

  “And you to me. Now go. I’ll let my father know what’s happening.”

  Mia felt the warmth of Garrett’s hand on her face even after he’d gone. With little light left in the garden, Mia quickly made her way to the house. The warm glow from the kitchen comforted her as the chill of death seemed to settle over the night.

  “Poor Mercy.” Mia felt sorry for the woman who’d shown her so much kindness. And what of the children? They would be heartbroken at the loss of their father.

  Remembering the shawl she’d left on the bench, Mia hurried back through the garden to retrieve it. The wind picked up and though it was not all that cold, it chilled Mia to the bone as she reached the bench. The darkness seemed to close in around her. Even the carriage house lights seemed muted and distant.

  A strange sensation worked its way over her body, reminding her of the time she was accosted near the docks.

  She picked up the shawl and started back to the house with quickened steps. Just then a figure stepped in front of her.

  “Why in such a hurry, Miss Stanley?” he asked as Mia stepped back. “You do recognize me, don’t you? For I most certainly know you. You and your mettlesome ways.”

  Mia shuddered, placing the voice. “Mr. Barrill.”

  “Exactly. I’m glad to see you have not forgotten me, for I most assuredly have not forgotten you. I have come to exact my payment for the harm you have caused me.” In one fell swoop he was upon her, pressing his hand against her mouth.

  Mia dropped the shawl as she fought to pull Barrill’s hand away. She couldn’t even draw a decent breath. Then she realized that was exactly what he meant to do. He was smothering her, pulling her tighter an
d tighter against him—making it impossible to breathe.

  He’s killing me. The thought registered in her mind as thick blackness clouded her reasoning and ability to fight.

  A rushing sense of heat rose against Mia’s cheeks and up the side of her face. She knew she was dying as her lungs continued to be denied air. Her last conscious thought was that she and George Wilson would die the same night—in the same hour.

  Garrett sat beside his father as the unconscious man struggled to draw a breath. He took hold of his father’s hand, grateful that Mercy had given him a few minutes alone while she went to get the girls.

  “You have always been a good father and husband,” Garrett said, hoping his father could hear the words. “You have cherished the truth and revered God all of your life, Father, and now you will go to your reward.”

  The warm glow of golden lamplight illuminated the peaceful expression on his father’s face. It didn’t appear that he was in any pain. For this, Garrett was grateful. The poor man had suffered enough.

  Mercy returned with Agnes and Bliss in tow. Bliss immediately ran for Garrett’s arms, while Agnes clung to her mother.

  “Is Papa gone to be with the angels?” Bliss asked. Her eyes were wide as she gazed from Garrett down to her father.

  “Soon, Bliss. Very soon now.” Garrett hugged the girl close, grateful for her tender embrace.

  “Why does Father have to die?” Agnes asked.

  Garrett looked to where she stood with her mother on the other side of the bed. “Everyone has to die, Aggie. It’s the way of the world—the way of life. There is a beginning and an end.”

  “Just like a story?” Bliss questioned.

  Garrett smiled. “Yes. Exactly like a story. Our lives on earth are the individual story of who we are and what we do. Father was a wonderful man who did many marvelous things to help people and to show love. He would want us to continue that love by being good to each other and to other people in the world.

  “I think it might serve us well to tell Father good-bye for now. We will see him again in heaven some day,” Garrett told his sisters, “but for now we must let him go.”