GIVE IN: God's Hellfire MC

by Naomi West

  I shuffled uncomfortably in my seat and shifted around to get comfortable, finally settling on curling my feet under me and leaning on the window.

  Rocky backed out of the garage and started driving, sending me glances every few minutes.

  “What?” I finally asked, a few minutes into the drive.

  “You look awful,” he said bluntly.

  “Gee thanks. Maybe it’s because I haven’t had a good night’s sleep in ages. I don’t know how you do it.”

  That was a lie. I was slowly coming to the realization that vengeance could keep a man up for years without showing even a trace of fatigue.

  “Maybe I’m starting to feel it too,” Rocky said, though it seemed to be more to himself than me.

  “That’s it,” he said suddenly.

  Out of nowhere, Rocky threw the wheel in the other direction and turned the car around, speeding back to where we’d come from.

  “Where are we going?”

  “Home,” Rocky said simply.

  I held back my skepticism and waited patiently until we pulled into a shabby apartment a few blocks away.

  “Where are we?” I asked again.

  “My place.”

  I followed him inside the apartment, climbing the stairs to the top and following him inside. I smiled as I surveyed the room; it looked exactly how I imagined his place would look. A comfy sofa instead of a leather couch, papers on the table and a jacket hanging off a chair, plates in the sink a window flung open. It looked lived-in and exactly Rocky’s style.

  “Did you forget something or…” I trailed off as Rocky began taking off his shoes and jacket, grabbing his cell phone and throwing himself on the sofa.

  “Do you want take out?” He asked casually.

  “Yeah, I’d love some. But don’t we have things to be doing?”

  “Look, you're right. We’re both exhausted. Let’s take the day off.”

  I narrowed my eyes at him and tried to see if this was a joke. When he didn’t break under my stare, I smiled widely and slumped down on the sofa beside him, resting my feet on the coffee table.

  “How do you feel about pizza?”

  “Depends,” I said. “Pepperoni?”

  “Deal,” he agreed and began dialing on his phone.

  Surprisingly, it only took a short while for the pizza to be delivered. We wolfed it down in a matter of minutes and I was glad Rocky had the good sense to get two.

  We lay resting on each other, stomachs full and pizza finished, and before I knew it I was drifting off to sleep.

  ###

  I woke a few hours later, an ache in my back and a cramp in my leg. I realized why only a second later when I discovered that Rocky and I had fallen asleep in arguably one of the most uncomfortable positions ever. I had half a leg thrown over the side of the couch, the other stuck underneath me, and half my upper body entirely on Rocky. Rocky on the other hand was half sitting and half reclined, legs on the coffee table and an arm thrown around my shoulders to pull me further on to him.

  Trying to extract myself from him proved mostly futile because of the crushing weight of his arm and the cramp in one of my legs that had caused most of it to go numb

  Well then, I thought to myself.

  With a great sigh, I shoved Rocky as hard as I could in the side hoping he would either wake up or move.

  Instead, he let out a loud grunt and turned to the side, curling another arm and leg around me. Slightly frustrated, especially since I was coming to realize that I had a very full bladder as well, I gave him another hard shove.

  “Rocky!” I whisper-yelled. I didn’t really want to wake him, though it was beginning to seem like I had no other choice. Still he slept on.

  I reached up to his face and decided this was the only thing left to do. I pinched his nose between my thumb and forefinger, blocking his breathing and hoping he would wake up.

  A few seconds later, his body started to shake, and at first I was terrified. That was until I realized he was shaking with laughter.

  I released his nose with a shriek and jabbed him hard in the side.

  “You asshole! Were you awake this entire time?”

  “Well you basically tipped the sofa over when you woke up, I’ve never seen someone jolt awake like that.”

  I glared at him. “Can you get off me now, I need to pee.”

  “Maybe. I’m kind of comfortable actually.”

  I jabbed him in his side again. Apparently, he deemed this unacceptable because he quickly lifted me up and pinned me down with his entire weight on top of me.

  “Listen buddy, unless you want a soiled sofa you’ll get off me right now!”

  “Alright,” he said calmly, lifting off me immediately and pulling me up so I was sitting upright.

  “Thank you,” I said uncertainly, evacuating the room as quickly as I could.

  ###

  When I returned back from the bathroom, Rocky was packing away the pizza boxes strewn on the floor.

  “What time is it?” I asked.

  “Just past eleven. We didn’t sleep that long.”

  “I really needed that. Thanks for letting us skip the stakeout.”

  “It’s alright.”

  I settled on the sofa once more and soon enough Rocky joined me.

  “Do you want to stay or do you want me to drive you home?”

  I weighed up my options at that. I was sure he wasn’t saying what I thought he was saying, there was no way in hell. I was also sure that getting home now would only wake up my mom, which was something that I didn’t want to deal with. She still wasn’t completely okay with me spending my nights with Rocky, dragging myself into ‘things I had no business dragging myself into.’

  Usually, Rocky would drop me off at the hotel just as my mother was waking up, which made it a lot easier to avoid conversation while she was getting ready for work.

  If I arrived home now, there was no telling what nonsense she would begin to spew out.

  “I’d rather stay if that’s ok.”

  “Your mom?” he asked.

  “How did you know?” It was creepy sometimes how he would be able to read every single thing that crossed my mind. Creepier still that I could often do the same to him.

  “Your face is easy to read.”

  “I feel like I mention it every other day. I just wish we got on more.”

  Rocky looked away absently for a moment and I almost cursed my stupidity.

  “Sorry, Rocky. I didn’t realize…”

  “No, it’s okay. I’m not fragile. I won’t break if you mention him.”

  I nodded but I didn’t really believe him. He was more fragile than he knew.

  “Do you ever think about your mother?” I said instead, though I wasn’t too sure why. It was something he rarely brought up, if ever, and certainly never with me.

  “Not as much as I used to. I don’t really remember anything about her.”

  I leaned over and placed a gentle hand on his arm.

  “I wish I did,” he continued.

  When we were younger we didn’t really talk too much about the fact that we only had one parent each. Some days I thought it was why we bonded so well in the first place. Two kids that were part of the club, though I didn’t know it at the time, both only with one parent and both just wanting a little more attention.

  “You know the story around the club is that she died in a car crash while she was visiting her sister.”

  “Isn’t that what happened?”

  The way he said it made it sound like there was something more sinister at play.

  “Fuck no.”

  “Then why would they say that?”

  Rocky let out a humorless bark of laughter.

  “My mom split when I was about two or three. Probably didn’t want to deal with club life, I’d say. Dad didn’t want to admit to it at the time so he told the club she’d died. Can you believe it? Even his wife didn’t want to put up with the club. She left behind a note at least, if
you could call it that. Not even a reason or an explanation. Just ‘I’m sorry.’ And nothing else. Never called, never visited.”

  It was at times like this that I realized Rocky had probably kept this to himself for years, never letting anyone know his true feelings or his deep-rooted anger.

  “That must have been hard as a kid.”

  “I didn’t even know at first. Dad lied to me, too. It wasn’t until I was a little older and we were in the middle of an argument. I told him I didn’t want to be part of the club, I wanted to go off to college and make a name for myself. Not even sure if I believed what I was spouting, just wanted to make him a little angry. He turned to me and said, ‘Just like your mother. Not wanting to support me, not wanting to have my back. A true family we all are. Are you gonna run off and leave me behind too?’ He’d screamed it as well, right in my face, drunk out of his mind.”

  At this point I was getting a little emotional. There were tears gathering in my eyes that I struggled to blink back. I was glad Rocky wasn’t looking my way so he wouldn’t think I was weak.

  “I always thought you and your dad were really close.”

  “I sometimes wish we were.”

  The unspoken question hung in the air between us. Why was he doing this then? Why was he so intent on revenge?

  “And then he went and died and I realized there was so much I never got to tell him. I never told him that I forgave him for being the way he was. I never told him that I didn’t hate him as much as he thought I did. I was just angry that ever since my mom left he put all his time and energy into the club and sometimes forgot about me. I just wanted him to be my dad.”

  I couldn’t stand the distance between us anymore. I rolled over a little and wrapped an arm around his waist, placing a head on his shoulder and gripping him tight. He wrapped his arm around my waist and drew me further into him, allowing me to provide him with some small form of comfort. I had no idea how hard his life had been.

  It was also very moving that he could be open with me and was okay with showing me his vulnerable side. I’d known that we had a deep emotional connection, but this just cemented it. I decided then and there that if the only thing I would ever be was just Rocky’s friend, then I would take it and never question it, just so that someone would always be there for him.

  Mom was more right than she knew. He was hurting more than I’d ever imagined and I could never turn my back on him now. He was stuck with me for as long as he’d have me.

  “I’m sorry for everything.”

  “Don’t be.”

  “I am,” I said firmly. “And I wish I could make it all go away.”

  “I wish I could do the same for you. You had it just as hard as I did, worse even.”

  “You can’t make that call,” I shook my head sadly. “And I’d go through it all again just so that I could be with you here and now.”

  “You don’t mean that,” he said, turning his head away from me.

  “I do.” I raised a hand to cup his cheek between three of my fingers and turn his head back to me. “Look at me. I mean it. I would do it all over again. For you.”

  We stared into each other’s eyes and something seemed to click between us, something that I wasn’t entirely sure I understood or would ever understand.

  Like neither of us could help ourselves, and I really didn’t think we could, we leaned in until our lips just touched. A spark spread throughout me, sending a shiver down my spine but I didn’t pull back. I couldn’t.

  It wasn’t like the last time. It wasn’t frantic or rushed or animalistic. We took our time.

  My hands trailed to the bottom of his shirt and lifted it up over his head, pulling my lips away from him for only a moment before I was drawn back to him like a magnet. I threw a knee over his lap so I was straddling him, allowing me to move easier.

  I ran my fingers over his bare chest like I was exploring it for the first time. My hands were ice cold against his hot skin, causing an involuntary shiver to rush over him.

  Rocky’s fingers were playing with the hem of my shirt, pulling it over my head in the next moment. His hands went to unclasp my bra and I helped him pull it off my shoulders, arching my back so that my breasts spilled out into his hands.

  I was grinding into him, moving my hips up and down until I decided on slow circles instead. I could feel his thick length through his jeans, pressing into me and setting me on fire.

  With Rocky’s thumbs playing with my nipples, I continued raking my hands over his chest. There was something special about just being so close to him.

  I undid his jeans slowly, knowing I’d have to pull away to take them off completely and not sure if I would be up for that yet. Fortunately, Rocky made the decision for me, grabbing my upper thighs with either hand and lifting me up so that I was wrapped around him.

  Rocky carried me off down the hall of his apartment, pushing open a door and walking inside. I could only assume it was the bedroom and I was proven right when I was laid gently down on a bed.

  He peeled off my jeans slowly down my legs. Then my socks, one at a time. Next came my panties, which he slid down as deliberately slow as he could manage. As soon as they were off and I was naked, he trailed kisses up my leg, starting from my toes and ending at my thighs before switching to my other leg.

  His jeans were still on, something that I was entirely not okay with.

  “Rocky,” I said and he stopped his kissing. “Pants,” I responded to his raised eyebrow.

  He complied with a smile, stripping them off almost as slowly as he did to my own pants. I only enjoyed the view for a moment before he returned to planting kisses all over me. Frustratingly, he stopped at my thighs and then moved to my stomach, up my chest, and over to my lips again.

  “Everything all right, love?”

  I almost hitched a breath at the endearment but pushed it to the back of my mind instead. He didn’t mean it that way.

  “Rocky Weston, you are the biggest tease, you know that?”

  “I know,” he grinned a boyish smiled that captivated me entirely.

  He was poised over me but was slowly starting to press his entire body weight into me. There was something about having a man lying naked on top of me, feeling him press every single inch of himself onto me that turned me on more than words could ever explain.

  “Rocky, baby. I want you.”

  “Are you sure?” he asked teasingly.

  I was drenched beyond belief, my heart was racing and I was more worked up than I could remember ever being. That was what Rocky could do to me.

  “I’m more than sure,” I affirmed.

  In answer, he held tightly onto me and rolled us over so that I was now on top of him.

  “Go on then, darlin’. Give it your best shot.”

  I straddled him and moved my hands to his cock, hard and throbbing between my fingers. Lifting my hips, I guided the tip of him inside me, mouth dropping open in pleasure. I slid him in slightly further, enjoying the way he was stretching me fully. I could feel him so completely inside me and wished I could revel in the moment for longer.

  Rocky was getting a little impatient though he was trying not to show it. I sped up a little, impaling myself further and further on him. I was panting now, but determined to continue.

  “Any way you could speed up a little?”

  Just as he uttered the words, I slammed myself down one more time and he pushed up his hips, his entire length filling me up to the hilt.

  “Christ,” Rocky muttered.

  Apparently having enough of me on top, Rocky flipped me around in one maneuver so that he was once again on top.

  “Hey!” I protested.

  Rocky pulled completely out of me and thrust back in and I was slick enough so that there was little resistance.

  “Okay, continue,” I agreed and Rocky just laughed, pushing back into me.

  He was moving at a leisurely pace now and I could feel my orgasm building up within me. Rocky lifted his free ha
nd and brushed a stray hand of hair out of my face, gazing into my eyes as his hips move in and out. It seemed as if he was staring deep into my soul, giving me a smile that I could almost describe as loving.