GIVE IN: God's Hellfire MC

by Naomi West

  “What happened?”

  “She was at the workshop. I wasn’t there, she was waiting for me. The Nightmares took her.”

  I kept it as short as I could, knowing Corinne wouldn’t stand for anything else.

  “They took her?” she said in disbelief.

  “Yes.”

  “I’ll be over in ten.”

  The line went dead and I had a strong urge to throw the phone at the wall. Not now, I reminded myself. Later, when Daria was back, alive and well.

  ###

  Corinne stormed into the clubhouse like a raging bull less than ten minutes later.

  “Cameron!” she shrieked.

  “Listen Corinne,” he began but was interrupted by a crack as Corinne smacked him in the face. His head went flying with the force of her hand, but he didn’t make a noise, turning back to her as he worked out his Jaw.

  He held up his hands in a placating gesture but she was having none of that.

  “What did you tell me?”

  He didn’t answer and Corinne grew visibly enraged.

  “What did you tell me?” she demanded again.

  “That she’d be safe. That we’d protect her.”

  “Oh, so we’re clear that you lied? You swore she’d be okay.”

  “Corinne, I didn’t think that—”

  “Your brother would be ashamed,” she said in a low voice. I was beyond disappointed when Cameron didn’t even flinch.

  “We all know there’s only one way out of this,” she continued. “No, it’s true. They’ll torture her and then kill her just to teach you a lesson.”

  “You can’t be suggesting what I think you are,” Cameron said.

  “There’s no other choice. And you won’t be stopping me. I think you’ve done enough.”

  “I don’t understand,” I interrupted. “What are you planning?”

  “I’m going after her.”

  “No!” I shouted. Daria would never forgive me if anything happened to her mother. They didn’t have the world’s best relationship but I refused to let happen to her what had happened to me.

  “I won’t let you.” I took a step towards her even as she took two steps back.

  “It’s the only way.”

  ###

  Corinne

  I snagged a set of keys from the rack by the door and headed to the club garage. Considering what I was doing, I doubted they’d fret over a stolen bike.

  I sped off into the night, racing against time in an effort to save Daria. She was exactly like me, getting herself into trouble at every turn, involving herself with the wrong people, never listening to her mother. I scoffed. It was like I had been reincarnated into her.

  I’d only ever wanted one thing for my daughter, only one thing. And that was to be safe and happy and away from the harm that the club would inflict. I’d been through this too many times and it killed me to know that I didn’t even fear death anymore. I was too scarred, too tainted, and too used to this life.

  Daria deserved better. Daria deserved everything anyone could ever give her.

  I knew she loved Rocky, I really did. And I knew he loved her too, more than anything. Ever since they were kids I’d known they had a deeper connection than anyone would ever understand. I didn’t mind. I knew he would keep her safe. And as much as I hated it, I knew I couldn’t place the blame on him. He’d do everything to protect her if he could.

  No, it was Cameron that I blamed. Only him. I’d known my whole life that I could never trust him but Billy Weston had always had a soft spot for his younger brother. “he’s just a kid,” he’d say to me when I told him how worried I was. “Just a kid trying to find his way.”

  But now it was years later and he hadn’t found his way. He’d let my daughter be taken into the hands of the enemy and he’d let Rocky get so caught up in his own head that he didn’t even realize what he was missing in the world around him.

  Daria would never forgive me for doing this; I wasn’t stupid. But I hoped in time she’d understand and maybe realize that the club would never be worth it. I knew that was a pipedream though. She would stay with Rocky for life. I’d accepted it but it didn’t mean I liked it. Rocky would give her everything and he’d never let her get hurt again. If only he discovered his uncle wasn’t the man everyone thought him to be.

  I pulled up at the Nightmare clubhouse and took a deep breath to calm myself down. This was it. This was the time. Nothing mattered now except getting Daria out alive and well and back to Rocky.

  A prospect met me at the entrance to the club but I didn’t even spare him a glance.

  “Move. I’m speaking with Jason.”

  He sputtered a little but let me in regardless. If I was in a better mood, I’d give Jason some free advice to get rid of this useless one.

  He pointed me in the right direction and I followed a long corridor down until I came to a door that I assumed had Jason behind it.

  Not giving myself a moment to debate, I flung the door open and strode in like I owned the place.

  There were three men in the room. Jason in the middle on an armchair, a bloody bandage wrapped around his bicep, and two other men I didn’t recognize. Probably his enforcers.

  “Jason!” I greeted in a sickly-sweet voice. I’d met him a few times, and though he was ruthless, he was also fair. I knew he’d go for what I had planned.

  “Corinne Barrett? Is it really you?” he smiled back, just as fake as mine had been.

  “You have my daughter. I want her back.” I cut right to the chase, not wanting to waste any time with pleasantries.

  Jason chuckled deeply and exchanged a look with the other two men with him.

  “And why would we want to do that?” he asked.

  “Please, Jason. I’m begging you. Spare Daria and take me instead.”

  Jason looked reflective. “You would be willing to exchange your life for hers?”

  I was appalled. “I’m her mother, of course I would.”

  “Not every parent would, I assure you.”

  I would do anything for Daria, he would soon understand that.

  “I’m offering my own life in exchange. An eye for an eye, it’s the biker way. You know it is. Daria has no part in any of this. Let her go and take my life instead. Please.”

  Jason lifted his eyebrows in contemplation, looking to his men again.

  After a pause, he turned back to me. “I respect your courage, Daria. I always have. You would’ve done well with the Nightmares, I don’t know why you got caught up with the Satan’s Wings.”

  “So, you’ll do it then?”

  Jason turned to one of his men and clicked his fingers. “Get the girl.”

  I released a breath and the tension was siphoned from my shoulders. Daria would be okay.

  “As a gesture of my respect, you can say goodbye.”

  “Thank you, Jason,” I said sincerely. He may have been aggressive and relentless, but he had integrity, and that was more than I could say for many others.

  After a few moments, the man returned with a tied-up Daria in tow. She was gagged and her wrists were bound, but otherwise she looked physically unharmed.

  “Untie her,” Jason demanded.

  Once Daria was free, she immediately started rubbing her raw wrists and glared at the men in the room.

  “Mom, what are you doing here?” she asked, finally settling her gaze on me.

  That was what I would miss the most, her sweet innocence, not yet connecting my presence with her freedom. I wished she would remain untainted like she was forever. Unfortunately, I was about to blow that innocence straight out of the water.

  “They’re letting you go, sweetie,” I smiled at her, taking a moment to put all the love I could never express into my face. I didn’t want her last memory of me to be of my fear taking over every part of me, though it was definitely rising up within me.

  “Thank God. Let’s go, Mom.” She held out a hand to me and I grabbed it, pulling up to my lips and kissing it o
ne last time.

  “Not me, sweetheart. Just you.”

  She furrowed her brows in confusion. “What do you mean? What are you going to do here?”

  Ignoring her, I said instead, “You’re going to be okay. You know how much I love you, that will never change. There’s a bike outside, one of the men will take you to it. Ride home and get to Rocky straight away. I know he’s worried sick about you.”

  “But how will you get back then?”

  She still wasn’t getting it.

  “I’m not going back, Daria.” I remained as calm as I could, trying not to get too emotional or Daria would never be able to leave.

  “Why would you stay here? Mom, they kidnapped me.” She lowered her voice slightly as if her captors had forgotten what they’d done.

  “Daria, I’m not coming back. A life for a life, that’s the biker way.” I repeated to her the words I’d told Jason, but they had a significantly worse effect on Daria than they’d had on him.

  “What do you mean? No! You're coming with me, I won’t let you stay here.”

  “Daria, you don’t have a choice. Go now back to Rocky and promise me you won’t look back.”

  “No! Mom, I’m not leaving you.”

  I nodded to one of Jason’s enforcers and he grabbed Daria around the waist from behind, hoisting her along with him as he turned to leave the room.

  “No!” Daria screamed once more. “Mom! Mom!”

  “I love you!” I called out as she was dragged out of the room, literally kicking and screaming.

  “Mom!” Daria’s screams echoed as she was pulled from the building.

  “I love you,” I repeated, a whisper now.

  I turned back to Jason, face firm and resolve steady. “Make it quick,” I said. I knew he would be true to his word.

  He shuffled a moment and grabbed his gun, lifting it up and aiming it at my head. Despite all my bravado a single tear dripped steadily down my cheek.

  I didn’t want Jason’s eyes to be the last I saw before I died.

  Instead, I closed my eyes and thought of Daria.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Daria

  It was all my fault.

  Mere days had passed but it had felt like months.

  It was odd how I’d spent so long despising the hotel room we stayed in, and now I would spend hours sitting there doing nothing.

  My mother was everywhere. Her scent in the air, her hair on the brush on the vanity, her shoes by the door, her rumpled skirt on the bed.

  When I first stepped into the hotel room, I wasn’t prepared for the onslaught of memories that bombarded me. I slid slowly down the door to the ground and sat there unmoving for a long while. She had been there hours earlier, lying in bed, using the phone, taking a shower, straightening her hair. She had been there hours earlier, breathing, awake, moving, alive.

  It was all my fault.

  I’d raced back to the clubhouse after Steele’s goon had manhandled me onto the bike. I’d never ridden alone before, but I was thankful that Rocky had taught me how.

  Rocky enveloped me in a hug when I arrived at the clubhouse, but I was so incoherent I didn’t know who he was.

  “They have her, they have her,” I chanted. “We have to save her, we have to go.”

  Rocky’s arms had gripped me tighter as I struggled against him, muttering something over and over in my ear as I tried to free myself from him.

  I met Cameron’s eyes over Rocky’s shoulder. His face was strangely blank when he said the words that would cause me to break. I could barely hear a thing around me but Cameron’s words were clear as day.

  “She’s gone.”

  A scream sounded out, filled with pure agony, but I didn’t connect it with myself until later. My shoulders shook with the force of my sobs and my body went limp, not having enough energy to hold itself upright any more.

  Rocky kept muttering the same thing over and over in my ear but I still couldn’t hear him, still couldn’t understand him.

  It could’ve been hours or moments until I pushed away from Rocky, who was so shocked he stumbled back a few steps.

  His lips were still forming the words that I could not yet hear. Though I was never good at reading lips, I finally understood what he was trying to say to me.

  “I’m sorry.”

  I was, too. Sorrier than anyone could ever know.

  Unable to deal with him or anyone else anymore, I sped out of the clubhouse and back onto the bike, racing to the hotel room. I’d stayed there against the door for a long time. It was bolted shut so even though someone, most likely Rocky, had tried to get me to open up. I refused.

  A few days later someone slid a paper under the door. The only reason I read it was because it appeared right next to me. I was glad I did.

  The note brought me to the morgue, staring at my mother’s lifeless body.

  It was all my fault.

  She looked calmer and more peaceful than I’d seen her in years, even more than when she was sleeping. The weight of the world was no longer on her shoulders.

  I still couldn’t bring myself to say that she was dead. She was just … gone.

  For so long I’d resented so much about her. Everything from her choices to what she’d say to me.

  Turns out she was right the entire time. How could I have involved myself with something as dangerous as a motorcycle club? She’d spent years of her life involved with one, and I knew that she had infinitely more knowledge than I did.

  She’d begged and pleaded for me to distance myself from the club, to keep myself safe.

  And what did I do?

  I ignored everything she’d told me, convinced myself that I knew better. That in my barely twenty years of life I knew more than her almost fifty years.

  How could I be so stupid?

  I thought I was in love. I thought Rocky was my entire life.

  Fuck love.

  Love brought nothing but misery and heartache and death.

  I’d loved my mother but never showed her, never told her that I did. And now she was … dead. Dead, and she never knew how much she meant to me.

  She didn’t know that she was the one constant that had always been in my life.

  She didn’t know that she’d been my best friend for years when I had nobody else.

  She didn’t know how much I admired her, respected her.

  She didn’t know how grateful I was that she’d spent her entire life trying to protect me, whether it was from the club or my stepfather.

  She died without knowing any of that. She probably died thinking that I didn’t care at all about her.

  Her face was seared into my brain as I was dragged out of the room at the Nightmare clubhouse. It was filled with so much affection, so much love. How could she love me so much when I had done nothing to deserve it?

  The only thing she’d ever asked of me was to stay away from Rocky and I couldn’t even comply with that one simple task.

  But now I was going to do things differently. I was going to honor my mother’s wishes, even though now I knew it was far too late. Nonetheless, I was going to stay away from Rocky like I’d first promised. Maybe now nothing else would happen. Maybe now I would be able to get away from the life my mother had always wanted me to get away from.

  I had enough saved in the bank from the few months of working at Rocky’s to start a new life for me. It wouldn’t get me much, maybe a bus ride to another state and enough for a room in a run-down motel in another small town. That would be enough for me though. I would start over fresh, somewhere where no one knew me or about me.

  Somewhere I could disappear.

  Yes, I would leave Springville. And I would never come back.

  I convinced myself that the ache in my heart had nothing to do with this decision. There was nothing left for me here anymore and I was determined to make my mother proud, at least once in my life.

  ###

  I’d stayed staring at my mother’s body for longer than
I’d expected, almost an hour. I’d known the mortician, Adam, since I was young and he’d kindly told me that I could spend as long as I needed here. He was on his lunch break and wouldn’t be back for a while, leaving me with ‘enough privacy to grieve.’

  Was it wrong to be all grieved out even though it had only been a few days?