Einstein's Refrigerator: And Other Stories from the Flip Side of History

by Steve Silverman

  The stories go on and on.

  Industry’s attempt (obviously very successful) to purge him from the scientific literature had driven him into exile for nearly twenty years. Lacking capital, he was forced to place his untested theories in countless notebooks.

  The man who invented the modern world died nearly penniless at age eighty-six on January 7, 1943. More than two thousand people attended his funeral.

  In his lifetime, Tesla received over one hundred different patents. He probably would have exceeded Edison’s record number if he wasn’t always broke. He could afford very few patent applications during the last thirty years of his life.

  Unlike Edison and many other inventors of his time, Tesla was an original thinker whose ideas typically had no precedent in science. Unfortunately, the world does not financially reward people of Tesla’s originality. It only awards those who take these concepts and turn them into a refined, useful product.

  Scientists today continue to scour through his notes. Our top scientists are just now proving many of his far-flung theories. For example, the bladeless disk turbine engine that he designed, when coupled with modern materials, is proving to be among the most efficient motors ever designed. His patented experiments with cryogenic liquids and electricity provided the foundation for modern superconductors. He talked about experiments that suggested particles with fractional charges of an electron-something that scientists in 1977 finally discoveredquarks!

  Wow!

  Maybe history will at last recognize a true genius when it sees one.

  Useless? Useful? I’ll leave that for you to decide.

  PART 4:

  hmmm

  agorae washington

  he was really the ninth president of the united states!

  Quick-Who was the first president of the United States? I’m sure that George Washington was your best guess. After all, no one else comes to mind. But think back to your history books. The United States declared its independence in 1776, yet Washington did not take office until April 30, 1789.

  So who was running the country during these initial years of this young country? It was the first eight U.S. presidents. In fact, the first president of the United States was one John Hanson.

  1 can hear you now, John who?

  John Hanson, the first president of the United States. Don’t go checking the encyclopedia for this guy’s name. Only if you’re extremely lucky will you find even a brief mention of him. Little has ever been written about the life of this man. Hanson is one of those great men whose name has been lost to history.

  The new country was actually formed on March 1, 1781, with the adoption of the Articles of Confederation. Although this document was actually proposed on June 11, 1776, it was not agreed upon by Congress until November 15, 1777. Maryland refused to sign it until Virginia and New York ceded their western lands. (Maryland was afraid that these states would gain too much power in the new government from such large amounts of land.)

  Although he was the first president of the United States, President John Hanson is largely forgotten today.

  Once the signing took place in 1781, a president was needed to run the country.

  John Hanson was chosen unanimously by Congress, which included George Washington. In fact, all the other potential candidates refused to run against him, as he was a major player in the revolution and an extremely influential member of Congress. In a letter to Hanson, George Washington wrote, “I congratulate your excellency on your appointment to fill the most important seat in the United States.”

  As the first president, Hanson had quite the shoes to fill. No one had ever been president and the role was poorly defined. His actions in office would set precedent for all future presidents.

  He took office just as the Revolutionary War ended. Almost immediately, the troops demanded to be paid. As would be expected after any long war, there were no funds to meet the salaries. All the members of Congress ran for their lives, leaving Hanson as the only guy left running the government. He somehow managed to calm the troops down and hold the country together. if he had failed, the government would have fallen almost immediately and everyone would have been bowing to a king or queen.

  Hanson, as president, ordered all foreign troops off American soil, as well as the removal of all foreign flags. This was quite a feat, considering the fact that so many European countries had had a stake in the United States since the days following Columbus.

  Hanson established the Great Seal of the United States, which all presidents have since been required to use on all official documents.

  President Hanson also established the first Treasury Department, the first Foreign Affairs Department, and named the first secretary of war.

  Lastly, he declared that the “twenty-eighth day of November next, as a solemn Thanksgiving to God.” Does this thing called Thanksgiving ring a bell?

  The Articles of Confederation only allowed a president to serve a one-year term during any three-year period, so Hanson actually accomplished quite a bit in such little time.

  Seven other presidents were elected after him-Elias Boudinot (1782-83), Thomas Mifflin (1783-84), Richard Henry Lee (1784-85), John Hancock (1785-86), Nathan Gorman (1786-87), Arthur St. Clair (1787-88), and Cyrus Griffin (1788-89)-all prior to Washington’s taking office.

  So what happened?

  Why don’t we ever hear about the first eight presidents of the United States?

  It’s quite simple-the Articles of Confederation didn’t work well. The individual states had too much power and nothing could be agreed upon. A new doctrine needed to be written; something we know as the Constitution.

  And that leads us to the latest controversy.

  1 have received numerous complaints over the years stating that 1 have the wrong image associated with this story. My picture is of a white man and many people tell me that the real John Hanson was actually a black man. 1 have been accused many times of being part of a conspiracy to hide the fact that the first President of the United States was of African heritage.

  The outcome of this debate is actually quite simple. There were two men named John Hanson.

  The man who served as president was born in Mulberry Grove, Maryland, on April 13, 1721, and died on November 15, 1783.

  Little is known about the second John Hanson except that he was a “senator from Bassa County” and that he was somehow involved in the United States’ efforts to resettle AfricanAmericans in Liberia. His daguerreotype, located on the Library of Congress Web site and dated “between 1856 and 1860,” is definitely of a black man.

  Just do a bit of math to prove that the Library of Congress image could not be that of the first president. The man who served as our first president died fifty-six years before photography was introduced to the world in 1839, so no photographic images of him would exist. Personally, 1 would have loved for the first president of the United States to have been a black man. This would have made for a great story, but it would have been an untrue one.

  Useless? Useful? I’ll leave that for you to decide.

  emperor Horton

  the u.s.a.‘s first and only emperor

  Yes, you read the above title correctly. At one time the United States of America did have an emperor. During his reign, he was known as the one and only Emperor Norton 1. As perplexing as this may seem in a country where the people elect its political leaders, this story is totally true. Just read on to find out more.

  Unlike most kings, queens, princes, and princesses, Emperor Norton was not born into royalty. In fact, he was just another nobody like the rest of us. Although no exact birth record can be found, Joshua Abraham Norton was born to Jewish parents in London around 1818. When Norton was two years old, his parents picked up and moved the entire family to the Cape of Good Hope in South Africa.

  Norton somehow managed to wind up in San Francisco in 1849. This was Gold Rush time in California and he was there to stake his claim by selling supplies to the miners. By 1853, he was wo
rth an estimated quarter of a million dollars through his various mercantile and land deals. He was a wealthy man, even by today’s standards.

  During this period of time, China was experiencing a terrible famine and placed a ban on the export of rice. The price of rice in San Francisco climbed from four cents to thirty-six cents per pound. Norton then heard the words that would change his life forever: a ship with two hundred thousand pounds of rice was arriving from Peru. He knew exactly what to do; he would purchase all of the rice and control the market. Surely the price of rice would skyrocket and Norton would reap all of the profits.

  Well, Norton gambled his fortune on December 22, 1852, and lost. Shipload after shipload of Peruvian rice showed up in port over the next few weeks and the price of Tice plummeted. Norton was in debt and was forced to declare bankruptcy in 1858. Yes, Joshua A. Norton was now penniless.

  In the months following his bankruptcy, Norton seemed to disappear off the face of the Earth. But, this would all change on September 17, 1859. The United States was about to crown its first emperor.

  Joshua A. Norton appeared at the offices of the San Francisco Evening Bulletin with the following proclamation:

  At the peremptory request of a large majority of the citizens of these United States, I, Joshua Norton, formerly of Algoa Bay, Cape of Good Hope, and now for the past nine years and ten months of San Francisco, California, declare and proclaim myself Emperor of these U.S., and in virtue of the authority thereby in me vested, do hereby order and direct the representatives of the different States of the Union to assemble in the Musical Hall of this city on the 1st day of February next, then and there to make such alterations in the existing laws of the Union as may ameliorate the evils under which the country is laboring, and thereby cause confidence to exist, both at home and abroad, in our stability and integrity.

  -Norton I,

  Emperor of the United States

  The editor of the paper, Deacon Fitch, was amused by Norton’s claim and decided to run the story in the paper.

  People began to take notice almost immediately. No one really believed that he was the emperor of the United States, but they saw no harm in playing along.

  His uniform consisted of an old donated army coat and boots. Add to that a plumed hat, a donated sword, and assorted imperial epaulets, and you have one very royal emperor.

  The Emp (as those close to him, meaning myself, called him) proudly walked the streets of San Francisco. While on these excursions, he set out to rid the world of its ills. He simply ruled by decree. For example, with the country on the verge of the Civil War, he abolished the Union. If people complained that taxes were too high, he ordered them lowered. (Don’t you wish that he was around today?)

  Newspapers competed to publish his proclamations. They did this for one very good reason-the proclamations sold more papers. When the papers needed to boost circulation, they simply made up new Norton Proclamations.

  Businesses also reaped the benefits of the Emp’s presence. if a clothier wanted to sell more clothing, he simply placed a sign in the window stating that the store was the Official Clothier of Emperor Norton (whether it actually was or not). If you wanted to see more patrons in your restaurant, you claimed that the emperor ate there. You get the idea. Sounds like the “George Washington Slept Here” scheme that they have on the eastern coast of the United States.

  Soon the word spread about the emperor. People visiting the city purchased statues, postcards, and other souvenirs of the Emp. Yes, he became the city’s first tourist trap.

  Unlike most rulers, Emperor Norton did his best to stay in touch with his people. He attended every public function and meeting (a large upholstered chair was always reserved for him in the state legislature). He never had a chauffeured coach, instead he always walked or rode his bicycle. He patrolled the streets making sure that police officers were doing their jobs. If he saw people performing kind acts, he would ennoble them. His crowning of the common folk with titles was very popular among the children. They would follow him picking up litter and doing kind deeds in the hope of being crowned king or queen for a day. (Some claim that this is where the expression comes from.)

  Emperor Norton did not have the fortune that most other rulers possess. His expenses, however, were few. He was allowed to dine for free in any restaurant of his choice. Three seats at the opening of every theatrical performance were reserved for the Emperor and his two dogs, Lazarus and Bummer. The local Masonic Lodge, of which he was once a member, paid for his small apartment. The city apparently picked up the costs of his uniform.

  For money, Norton issued his own imperial bonds, which were usually issued in values from fifty cents to two dollars. These notes were actually produced by the printing firm of Cuddy ��t Hughes. Each note allowed the bearer to collect the face value plus seven percent interest at maturity, which was apparently in the year 1880. Since the notes had no real value at the time, the best one could do would be to convert it to a new note payable in 1900. Today, the bonds are quite rare and are worth a good chunk of money.

  Even the best of emperors cannot live forever. Emperor Norton died on January 8, 1880. The New York Times reported that he “dropped dead at the corner of California and DuPont streets, in that city.” He was on his way to a scientific conference.

  Emperor Norton’s funeral was attended by a reported thirty thousand people. Police had to be called in to control the crowds. He was buried in the city’s Masonic cemetery.

  In 1934, his remains had to be moved to Woodlawn cemetery in Colma. Fifty-four years after his death, he still captured the imagination of San Francisco. Flags throughout the city were lowered and businesses actually closed their doors in his honor. Approximately sixty thousand people attended the ceremony, which featured full military honors. His new granite tombstone was engraved Norton I, Emperor of the United States, Protector of Mexico, Joshua A. Norton, 1819-1880.

  Many have come to question Norton’s sanity. Did he really believe that he was emperor? Or did he have everyone fooled into thinking that he was? Sane or not, he offers an example that modern politicians should be forced to study.

  Don’t assume that royalty ends in the United States with the death of Emperor Norton. My friend Kelly has proclaimed herself to be Princess Kelly. Please refer to her as such and feel free to forward all of your cash and jewels to her.

  Useless? Useful? I’ll leave that for you to decide.

  nannies for college

  a college education for just pennies

  It is no big secret that a college education is a very expensive investment. Parents and students all face the reality that they will be paying off those darn student loans for many years to come.

  But wait! There is a better way.

  Just use your brainpower. Focus on the problem (lack of money) and a possible solution (sorry, the chance of being adopted by Bill Gates is not a viable option).

  A guy named Mike Hayes focused on his lack-of-capital problem and came up with an incredible scheme to solve it.

  Let’s zoom back to 1987. Here we find Mike as a freshman chemistry major at the University of Illinois. Like many others, he is pondering over paying for his education-one that he figures will cost him $28,000 over four years.

  Then the brainstorm hit him.

  Mike wrote to columnist Bob Greene of the Chicago Tribune and asked for his help. The help was simple: Bob would ask each of his millions of readers to send just one penny to help finance Mike’s college education.

  1 know it sounds ridiculous.

  But then, what is a penny? Look around you and 1 bet there is a penny being ignored. Is it in the cushions of your sofa? Under the bed? In your coat pocket? Most people won’t even expend the energy to bend over and pick up a penny sitting on the sidewalk.

  Well, Bob Greene decided to play along with Mike’s crazy scheme and published the column on September 6, 1987. Of course, asking for a penny is fine, but getting people to actually send one is another story. After
all, we are a society of couch potatoes. I’m sure that many just read the column and gave a chuckle.

  And there was another catch. You can’t send a penny through the mail for free. Back then it cost 22 cents to mail a first-class envelope. In other words, your penny donation was really going to cost you about a quarter.

  Surely a scheme like this could never work. Mike was asking for a tremendous amount of pennies. Think about it-$28,000 translates into 2.8 million pennies. That’s a big wad of pocket change to ask for.

  Once the newspaper article appeared, the mail came pouring in. They were all addressed to “Many Pennies for Mike” at his home in Rochelle, Illinois. Some letters were the typical letters of complaint. These people complained that Mike had no right to ask for this money. He was an average middle-class white male; surely, many others should get the money before Mike.

  But then, no one forced anyone to mail Mike his or her donation.

  After one month of collecting, Bob Greene followed up on his article. At that point, the Many Pennies for Mike fund had received about seventy thousand donations. The donations ranged from the one penny asked for to several checks for $100. The average of all donations was estimated to be 34 cents per envelope. In other words, Mike had raked in approximately $23,000! He was only $5,000 short of his goal.

  Ninety-five percent of the envelopes had a letter enclosed. One person wrote, “1’m seventy-six years old. Here’s a penny. If you use it to buy drugs 1 hope a bolt of lightning strikes you dead.” Another letter from Debra Sue Maffett (Miss America 1983) was signed “love” and included a check for twentyfive smackeroos.

  In the end, Mike did get his $28,000 and a bachelor’s degree in food science. No one really knows how much more money came in, but Mike agreed to set up an educational scholarship fund with the excess.

  One can’t help but wonder what the iRS thought about this scheme. They probably changed all of their regulations to make sure that the government will get all the money in the future.