Destined for Destiny
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A treat devised within these specifications would be a suitably honorific honor to bestow upon a President.
My genetic legacy is not as easy to determine.
While it is evident that the Bush name will not live on through my children, since my daughters’ eventual off-spring will bear the names of their hapless husbands, the Bush family will nonetheless live on.
Perhaps when history needs it most, my cherished bloodline will reappear in someone named George Walker Peterson or George Walker Jones, and this progeny of mine will lead the country in a time of great crisis. A time, perhaps, when even bolder executive authority is called for in a future age that may bring terrors even more terrifying than the terrorists.
The mind sputters at the notion.
But at this time, I must put all of my faith in my brother Neil’s mentally challenged son, Pierce. It is up to him to seed the Bush future. And perhaps he will be our country’s first retarded President, a shining example to other retarded presidential hopefuls across our great land. And while being retarded may be a handicap in the office of President, I have faith that his Bush instincts will raise him above his mental disabilities. We must not be prejudicial in this matter, for the Constitution does not expressly forbid a Retard–American from occupying the highest office in the land.
A dominant Bush family trait is that of Christian charity. It is in my nature to be giving to those I choose, and my post-elective years will be no different.
Like all ex-Presidents, especially the noted Jimmy Carter, who has so inspired the world with his good works in retirement, I too will find a particular calling that I will make my signature issue. I will establish a foundation to focus on this issue.
My signature issue, I have decided, will be golf.
I will work hard to ensure that golf is enjoyed in all corners of the civilized world by my colleagues and me. I will appeal to the better nature of my fellow citizens to donate their dollars to this worthy cause, so that I might play with only the most enjoyable golfers, and the newest and highest-quality golf clubs, and never have to worry about where my next tee or ball is coming from.
Surely, we can all agree that this is a positive vision for making the world a better place. Like President Carter before me, I will build a humanitarian organization around my important cause. I will call it “Habitat for Golf.” Under the noble charter of this foundation, volunteers, church groups, and others will build golf courses all around the world, so that I might always have a place to golf, no matter where my vacation travels might take me.
One very important thing I am looking forward to in my retirement is spending more time on my ranch in Crawford, Texas, with my brush. It seems that no matter how much of it I clear, it is never fully cleared. I clear some on my vacation, I go back to work, but when I come back again, it is all regrown. It is very frustrating.
Finally, I will have the time necessary to clear it all, and clear it for good. I want to do this so that my family and I can enjoy a life on the flat Texas plains, unencumbered by plants or foliage of any kind.
In looking back at all I have accomplished in my time in office, I cannot help but feel a deep sense of pride in not only my achievements, but in the shared achievement-making of the brave men and women who served with me.
We all worked together to make America a better place. We leave the world a little less terrorized than how we found it. We led the country in war, we worked to protect marriage from the wrongful marriers, and we fought to save Social Security and Medicare from the nation’s seniors.
If the next great leader of our nation should desire it, and has the foresight to ask, I will give him much-needed advice. And that goes for any world leaders of other countries, as well. I fully expect that the job of governing in the 21st century will not get easier. It will only get more complicateder.
For any concern of governance that you may have, I will continue, whether through my own acts or through those of my progeny, to be bound by a sacred trust to offer my wisdom of statecraft.
I shall forever be committed to serve, pledged to lead, and destined for destiny.
Photo Credits
Back flap: Permission for use and alteration granted by Getty Images. Permission for use granted by George Bush Presidential Library. Permission for use and alteration granted by George Bush Presidential Library. REUTERS/Gerald Schuman. AP/WIDE WORLD PHOTOS. PHOTO INSERT: —permission for use and alteration granted by George Bush Presidential Library; —permission for use and alteration granted by AP/WIDE WORLD PHOTOS; —permission for use and alteration granted by Getty Images; —U.S. Air Force photo released as public domain; —U.S. Navy photo released as public domain.
At eight months, February, 1947
Enjoying a wash-basin bath in 1948
Christmas at home, 1950
Learning to ride a tricycle at age 3, 1949
On the oil fields of Texas, 1956
On the Yale baseball field, 1965
Texas Air National Guard, 1972
Training in the Air National Guard, 1972
Receiving Lieutenant stripes, 1973
Proud father of Jenna and Barbara, November 25, 1981
On the campaign trail during the 1978 race for the 19th Congressional District of Texas
1992 family vacation to the Grand Canyon
With daughter Jenna at a 1984 campaign rally for President Ronald Reagan
Supporting the Texas Rangers baseball franchise, 1997
Inauguration as 43rd President of the United States, January 22, 2001
Speaking to troops at Fort Carson, CO, 2003
Returning from a surprise visit to the troops in Iraq, 2003
Working in the Oval Office, 2002
Rallying rescue workers at Ground Zero, September 14, 2001
2002 State of the Union address
Departing for G-8 Summit, 2004
Surveying the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina from Air Force One, August 31, 2005
Oval Office meeting with senior advisors, March, 2006
Mission Accomplished, May 1, 2003