Only Human (Kirsten O'Shea Book 1)

by Blevins, Candace

  Lauren had texted me on the way to the airport to let me know she’d arrived at her friend’s house, and I texted her now to tell her we were on the plane and about to take off. “Sorry,” I told Abbott, as I explained why I was texting during a date. “As an adopted child who’s already lost one family, she worries about me more than most children worry for their parents.”

  His smile let me know he truly didn’t mind. “No need to apologize. I heard the negotiations about her texting you to let you know she was okay as we walked her to the truck, and find it amusing it goes both ways with the two of you.”

  We had a smooth take off, and once we were cruising Abbott took his seatbelt off and then mine, and told me to come with him. We went through the door in the back and into a room set up with a table and chairs, and a single place setting. Steve brought me a grilled Portobello mushroom that had been marinated in something scrumptious. There were also mashed potatoes, and a side dish of vegetables that had my mouth watering. For desert there was key lime cheesecake.

  I felt a bit self-conscious eating in front of Abbott at first, since he wasn’t eating, but he put me at ease fairly quickly.

  I mostly let Abbott lead our conversation, and he kept it to mundane topics. I expected him to lead into a discussion of power exchange at some point, but while he flirted and dropped a few well-placed double entendres, he kept true to his word about not pushing for a scene until I was ready.

  Oddly enough, his not pushing kind of made me ready.

  When we landed in Chicago it was not O’Hare, but a smaller airport. I texted Lauren as we taxied to the hangar, and Abbott kissed the side of my forehead with a smile when I put my phone away.

  We deplaned, and within a dozen steps the back door of a limo was held open for us. As we got in I asked, “When do you tell me what play we’re going to see? Is it a secret because it’s an underground BDSM play, or maybe it’s a historical play that’ll tell me something of your past?”

  “You’ve put some thought into this, haven’t you?” he asked with a gentle smile. “Nothing so meaningful, I’m afraid. We have tickets to see Wicked, which tells the events that happen before the story picks up with The Wizard of Oz. It’s the background of the Wicked Witch of the West, her life story.”

  I took a moment to process this, but came up with nothing. A little disappointed, I said, “For some reason I thought you’d only bother flying me to Chicago for a play if it were something meaningful you wanted to share with me, I guess.”

  “Let’s watch the play and then we’ll talk about it, okay?”

  “Of course.”

  It was nice to have the limo pull up and drop us in front of the door, and not have to worry about parking. When we went into the theater I was in awe. Our Tivoli Theater at home is a monument to the days when theaters were architectural works of art, and this building must be from the same time period. I didn’t want to look like a country bumpkin, staring at the ceiling, the walls, and the staircases, but I probably did. Abbott didn’t say anything, but let me take my time looking everything over.

  “You were once a performer,” he commented. “I imagine you see live performances through a slightly different lens than the rest of us.”

  “Perhaps,” I agreed. “In some ways it’s probably taken a little of the magic out of it, but I can see and appreciate the work that goes into preparing and practicing, so it all works out, I think.”

  The play was quite thought provoking. The idea being that the woman who would eventually become the wicked witch was born green, and put up with a lot of teasing and taunting because of it. Without telling the whole story, she wasn’t bad, she was just, errr, drawn that way. She was really big for animal rights, which put her on the bad side of the Wizard of Oz. She was railroaded — bad PR made her the Wicked Witch.

  Okay, so maybe Abbott had been trying to tell me something with this play. Had bad PR made vampires evil? It wouldn’t exactly be hard — it’s kind of difficult to put a good spin on beings who must drink human blood in order to live. They’re the predator and we’re the prey. I was comfortable around Abbott because of Aaron’s assurance I’d be safe around him, but I wasn’t sure I’d have agreed to a date alone with him, otherwise. However, he’d been a perfect gentleman, and if he wanted to drink my blood he wasn’t giving me any indications.

  Or, maybe he just has a thing for The Wizard of Oz and wanted to see this play. No way to find out but to ask. We were standing outside the theater, my arm in his, and I was wondering how we’d know which limo was ours. I leaned into him and asked, “So, are you a huge Wizard of Oz fan?”

  “Not really. I mean, the original story was nice, but then the movie messed it up, and now all of the books pretty much say what the movie does.”

  “How was the original story different?”

  “It’s been so long since I read it, I’m not even sure. I just remember how upset I was when the movie wasn’t true to the book. However, that has nothing to do with why I wanted to come see this play. I’m always intrigued by the idea of what made someone evil. Almost always, when you hear the story, you end up feeling sorry for the person. Even Darth Vader, right?”

  “Is that because so many people assume you’re evil? Not bothering to get to know you, just assuming if you’re a vampire, you must be bad?”

  “Possibly, but if I’d wanted to be analyzed I’d have made an appointment with you. This is a date, the last I checked.” His voice wasn’t snippy, but he was obviously unhappy with my point.

  “Hey, you’re the one who picked the play. Don’t tell me you didn’t expect to have this sort of conversation afterward.”

  “Ah, here is our limo, if you please? I’m glad you brought a heavy coat as I’ve made arrangements for us to have a private moonlit boat ride.”

  “Like I said, you really didn’t have to go all out to impress me.”

  “The idea isn’t to impress you,” he said, his voice gentle now. He caressed my cheek and added, “It’s to make you feel special.”

  I didn’t know what to say to that. He’d kissed me during intermission, another of those panty melting kisses that turned my insides to Jell-O, and I was wondering what would happen if he repeated the kiss later. I was betting there was a bed on the plane, and I was fairly certain I wasn’t ready to have sex with him. There was too much to think about, and I wasn’t prepared to fall for a vampire. I was okay with dating one and playing around some, but to actually fall for him? No, that hadn’t been the plan. I mean, I’d grow old and he wouldn’t. And I was a mom — a vampire boyfriend didn’t fit into my life.

  Even using the word boyfriend on a thirty-eight hundred year old vampire sounded ridiculous. Vampire lover, yeah, that fit. I don’t do casual sex, but I’m fine with meaningful sex with someone I don’t intend to spend the rest of my life with.

  Meaningful sex meant some sort of relationship. Not necessarily a lifelong relationship or even a committed one, but enough of a connection to make the sex more than just a physical act.

  “I didn’t think that statement should have made you look quite so thoughtful,” he said with a wistful smile. “I wish I knew what was going on in that head of yours.”

  My silence must’ve made him wonder what I was thinking. I was really glad he couldn’t read my thoughts. At least, I hoped he still couldn’t.

  “This is different for you, isn’t it?” I asked. “You can usually read thoughts when you want?”

  “I can’t read everything from everyone. Most supernaturals learn to put up shields, but I can easily read almost all humans. Of those I can’t read, I can usually get a good idea of the direction of their thoughts even if I can’t get the specific brainwaves. However, I get nothing from your brain that you don’t intentionally send.”

  “Does this make me a challenge?”

  He kissed my forehead and smiled. “No, it just makes you Kirsten. You’re still trying to figure out what I see in you, aren’t you?”

  “Yep.”


  The limo stopped and I looked out the window to see the waterfront. Abbott helped me out of the limo and we went into a building. A largish man in jeans and a flannel-lined blue jean jacket met us at the door, let us in, and then locked the door behind us. I guess they were closed.

  “Mr. Hamilton, if you and your lady will come this way, please.”

  We followed him out a different door, down the long walkway of a dock, and onto a decent sized boat. The vessel would’ve easily held fifty people, and it was just Abbott and I. We walked upstairs and sat down in a room with windows on all sides. Once the boat was underway, a waiter brought a drink that looked like whiskey on ice for Abbott, and something with whipped cream on it for me. Abbott said, “I’ve made the assumption you’d be happy with hot chocolate with Bailey’s in it, and whipped cream on top?”

  “Happy? Ecstatic might be more like it at this point. I’m not freezing, but I’m a touch cold and this will take the chill off. What are you drinking?”

  “Jack Daniels on ice.”

  “You’re taking that ‘living in Tennessee’ thing a bit far, aren’t you? Or is that your drink of choice no matter where you live?”

  “It’s not because I’m living in Tennessee, it happens to be a drink I enjoy.”

  I sighed. “What a coincidence.”

  He raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

  “It used to be my drink of choice, back in my wild days. Now, I still chill with a Jack and Coke at home occasionally, once Lauren is down for the night. Not very often, but I guess it’s my comfort drink when I’ve had a hard day. I haven’t been sloppy-drunk in so long I can’t remember — before I brought Lauren home, for sure. But still, when I’m stressed, a nice strong Jack and Coke has the ability to take the edge off.” I took a sip of my drink and felt the heat travel to my stomach. I closed my eyes a few seconds to enjoy it, then opened them to say, “Right now the Baileys and hot chocolate is perfect, though. I needed something hot, and chocolate is never a bad call.”

  “And why did you not seem happy that we both enjoy the same drink?” Abbott asked.

  People often tell me I have the uncanny ability to ask the right questions. I’ve always assumed this is in large part due to my training as a therapist, but on some level I figure whatever latent psychic abilities I sometimes exhibit probably have something to do with it, too. Tonight, I was seeing that Abbott also seemed to have this skill, and I wasn’t sure exactly how to answer him.

  The truth? I was ready for us to stop having so much in common, but I wasn’t going to tell him that, so I hedged. “Did I sound unhappy? I’m sorry. No reason for me to be happy or unhappy about it.”

  His eyes went harsh and I heard power in his voice again. “I may not be able to read your mind, but I can smell a lie.” He didn’t look pleased, and whatever he was doing to his voice had the ability to completely undo me if he didn’t stop.

  So, of course, I went on the offensive. “Don’t try to go all Dom on me, and I don’t need that creepy voice thing while on a date, either. Sorry, I shouldn’t have lied. I’ll just say that I decline to answer the question at this time, and we’ll drop it.”

  “I do not like being lied to.” He didn’t push power into his voice, but it wasn’t hard to hear he was still pissed.

  I sighed and felt my shoulders sag. I held his gaze as I said, “I’m sorry. I should’ve just changed the subject. It isn’t like me to answer dishonestly, but if I weren’t being irrational then there’d be no reason for me to be happy or unhappy about the fact you like Jack Daniels. The entire statement wasn’t really a lie so much as misdirection. Still, I apologize, since even though it wasn’t technically a lie, I also wasn’t speaking truth.”

  “Apology accepted, though I’d feel better if you actually told me why it bothered you.”

  I looked out the windows now, taking in the beautiful night, and the moon’s reflection on the water’s rippling surface. “If it weren’t a silly female reason I would. I don’t normally do silly female, and I’m not comfortable with it.” I hoped he’d let me change the conversation, and I tried with, “The view of the city is beautiful from here, let’s not waste it by bickering.”

  I slipped my coat off, stood, and walked to the window to look out. Abbott followed and stood behind me with his arms around my torso, and I leaned my head back against his chest. I’m five foot two inches tall, and he’s at least a foot taller, so he could easily look over my head to see the view.

  “This is nice, thank you,” I said.

  “I thank you for coming with me.”

  “Have you ever lived in Chicago?”

  “Yes, but it’s been long enough there are no humans who’ll remember.”

  “It must be hard to outlive most everyone. I know there are the other vampires, and then those like Aaron and Mordecai who are either immortal or don’t die until killed, but most of the people you meet are just in your life for a relatively short time, right?”

  “Sometimes it’s hard. Mostly, I’ve lived this life so long I’ve learned to deal with death, though occasionally someone important comes into my life, refuses to be turned, and I grieve as I watch them age and die. It’s possible for me to keep a human alive longer than their normal lifespan, but it isn’t the same as turning them.”

  I was considering which of my questions to ask first when he added, “A handful of the long-lived move around together. We decide far in advance which city we’ll move next, and we go as a group. There are also others I see as I move around, whom I’ve known in the past. Things are more comfortable for me now than they’ve been in centuries, and it’s a luxury to be living in a time where I get along with most of the other territory Masters, so I can obtain passage to visit their demesne. I had to get permission from the Master of this area for us to fly here tonight. Vampire society has way too many rules, but I do my best to work within them.”

  “So, your relationships with humans — you go into them knowing they’re short term.”

  “Usually, yes. I’ve also turned a fair share of humans I fell in love with, so I didn’t have to say goodbye to them and I wasn’t forced to watch them grow old.”

  “Did they want to be turned?”

  “Of course. Since I’ve been Master and have been able to make my own decisions, I haven’t turned anyone against their will. All have known full well what it meant, with many conversations about what they would give up as well as what they would gain. I require the vampires in my territory to do the same before they turn someone.”

  “Not all Masters are as laid back and easygoing as you though, right?”

  “My people would likely argue about my being laid back, though it’s true as long as they follow my rules I generally let them live their lives as they wish.” He hesitated, as if deciding whether to say what he was thinking, and then said, “After what you saw me do to Piers, I’m a bit surprised you think I’m laid back and easygoing.”

  “I’m guessing you hold your control, your position, because no one can take it from you. It isn’t like the U.S. Presidency where there’s the Army and Navy and Marines to make sure no one takes it from you. This means you can’t allow anyone to question your authority, especially not in front of people, and when they do you must make it clear it won’t be tolerated.” I turned in his arms and added, “I had the feeling most everyone else in the room had respect for you. Not fear, but respect. They knew as long as they didn’t challenge you, they had no reason to fear you. I’ve seen good leaders and I’ve seen bad leaders, and the general feeling I got from the people I met was that they considered you a good leader.”

  I held his gaze a few seconds to give him a chance to speak. When he didn’t, I turned in his arms to look out the window again. “You told me as much in one of our conversations, that there was a formal way to address you, but you didn’t require your people to do so unless there was a reason. You don’t seem like the type of person to let power go to your head, you seem more like the type of leader who rules
because you want it done the way you do it, and not the way someone else does. As the saying goes, if you want something done right, do it yourself.”

  His chest vibrated against my back when he spoke. “You’re quite perceptive, Miss O’Shea.”

  I ignored him and continued with my thoughts. “I know it annoys you when I question what you see in me, but I still have to wonder what you’re thinking. I’m human, you aren’t. And yet you appear to be romancing me pretty seriously. You and I so far seem to have much in common, but to what end could there be for us to explore this?”

  He turned me around and looked down at me. I didn’t like looking up so I levitated until we were eye to eye. I faltered at first because being over water made it a lot harder, but I’d used a boat to balance against before, and this was a big boat, so I managed.

  “As you’ve just demonstrated, you’re more than human.”

  “I’ll still die sometime in the next thirty or forty years, if not before. There’s no reason to believe my metaphysical abilities will lengthen my life.”

  And then the world spun out of control as he kissed me. He wrapped his arms around me so I was no longer levitating, he was holding me, and his lips were on mine, opening them, pressing, controlling. He wasn’t gentle this time, but rough and demanding. He took me with his mouth. His arms around me were gentle, but his mouth told me he was tired of talking and wanted to show me how he felt. My legs wrapped themselves around his waist, giving me the leverage I needed to kiss him back with as much power and energy as he’d been giving me.

  His face moved down, his lips on my neck, his tongue tasting me, and as good as it felt, suddenly I was afraid he would bite me and I pushed him back — my legs still wrapped around him, but my head and hands pushing me backwards away from him. He must have smelled my fear because he stopped, pulled his head back a touch, and froze. He was treating me like a skittish horse, trying not to scare me or make me run, just as he’d done for Lauren when she saw his vamped out face.