Only Human (Kirsten O'Shea Book 1)
Page 20
For the first time, I could see him analyzing me. He didn’t noticeably smell the air, but I watched as he took in my scents, facial expressions, and body language. Finally, he said, “Okay, in the future, unless there is reason not to for a scene, I’ll let you in on these kinds of things, okay?”
I glared at him a second, but relented and rolled my eyes with a bit of a smile. “Sure.” I wished I knew what he’d gotten from his analysis, but it looked like he saw my frustration and irritation, and decided to relent and not be the silent Dom about such things. Maybe.
“Tell me some of your hard limits, things you won’t do, ever.” It was more order than request but I decided to answer anyway. It would be silly to refuse because he was bossy about it.
“Scat, knives and needles, anything that draws blood on purpose.” I paused and added, “Ouch, that sounds different saying it to you than it has saying it to other Doms. I’m still not sure how I feel about the fact you want to bite me. I think we have to handle that as you and I, though, and not as part of our D/s relationship.”
“I was honest when I told you I wonder how you taste, but I don’t want to put any pressure on those words. I’ll be fine if I never taste you, it isn’t necessary for any kind of relationship we may have.” His voice was kind and gentle, and I thought we were back to him not wanting to spook the horse. I wasn’t sure I liked being treated like an animal who would easily scare, but there was no way for me to talk to him about it. Not now, anyway.
“Thanks, but it sounds like, while it may not be necessary, you consider it part of intimacy, and we need to at least talk about it so I understand what I’m saying no to.”
Paul came over the speakers to tell us we should prepare for landing, so I stood, adjusted my dress over my hips, and we went out to the main cabin to take our seats. Steve sat in the row behind us and strapped in as well, and ten minutes later we were taxiing to the hangar.
I texted Lauren we were on the ground, and suddenly I was so tired I couldn’t wait to go home and sleep. I may have been fine to handle the date, but it’d been a long day and my body wanted sleep.
Abbott and I kept the conversation away from deep subjects on the way home, talking mostly about the costumes and makeup from the play we’d seen, and how it must be nice to have what must be a huge budget for that kind of thing. Our theater in Chattanooga did okay, but wasn’t even close to that kind of production.
Once home, he walked me to my door, gave me another panty-melting kiss, and wished me sweet dreams. He told me he’d be emailing me something to fill out that should be in my inbox when I awakened tomorrow, and he mentioned he’d be sleeping at the golf course coterie house, and if I finished the questions by then it would be nice to come see him so we could talk about them before my session with Mordecai.
I let Smokey in, and he went to Lauren’s bedroom and gave me a forlorn look with his dark, glassy eyes. He went back to the hall and plopped his two hundred and twenty pound black, furry body down at the top of the steps with a grumble designed to let me know his displeasure. He wanted everyone home at night, and he would thoroughly sniff Lauren and Xiaolan tomorrow when they came home, wanting to know everywhere they’d been and to make certain they were okay.
“You’re a good boy, wanna come snuggle?”
Smokey thinks he’s a lap dog, but he’s only allowed on furniture when invited. I have steps leading up to my bed so he can snuggle with me, though when we’re through he’ll go take up his post at the top of the steps. When I’m not home, he sleeps by Lauren’s bed, but when I’m in my bed he takes his sentry post at the top of the steps, between our bedrooms. Xiaolan’s room is just past Lauren’s, so I guess he figures he can keep anyone from getting past him to her, as well.
I put warm flannel pj’s on, invited him up in bed, and we snuggled as I rolled everything over and over in my brain, my fingers rubbing and stroking Smokey’s fur. I should put a stop to whatever Abbott and I were getting started. I had no business falling for a vampire, but it was becoming clear I’d never manage to spend time with him and not fall for him. I didn’t want to be a vampire, and it seemed unless that was my end goal, anything Abbott and I did could only end in heartache.
However, I’d also made a decision long ago to never run from love because I was afraid of something. If I ran from Abbott, wouldn’t it be because I was afraid? Or, would the decision be based on logic since it just seems to be a bad idea for a human to fall for a vampire?
I fell asleep snuggling with Smokey.
Chapter Seventeen
Sunday morning I slept in, and both girls arrived home shortly after I awoke around eleven.
We spent most of the afternoon doing housework. Xiaolan is good at keeping the bathrooms clean, everything dusted, and the floors mopped and vacuumed, but we still needed to change the sheets on all the beds, do laundry, clean the refrigerator out, wipe down the kitchen cabinets… There was much to be done, but it was possible I just didn’t want to check my email and see the list Abbott sent me, so we cleaned.
Eventually, the house was spotless and there were no more excuses. The list Abbott sent was very thorough and would take hours to work through. I sent him an email telling him this wasn’t really something I could do with Lauren around, and I didn’t think I’d get anything done on it today. However, if he wanted to call me when he awakened then I’d be happy to come see him this evening and we could talk about some of it.
I also emailed James to let him know how my date with Abbott had gone — minus the vampire parts, of course.
Aaron wouldn’t want to know details, though I’d texted him the night before to let him know when I was home safely. Our code right now is some form of, “X is in for the night.” If I’m okay then I name a domestic animal on a farm, so the cows are in for the night, or the pigs are in for the night. If I’m not okay then I name a wild animal, so the bears are in for the night, or the raccoons are in for the night. Most of the time I think those codes are silly, but Aaron wants to make sure I’m safe, so I humor him.
I told Lauren and Xiaolan I’d probably have plans that afternoon and pointed out they would both need to go over their schoolwork so things would be fresh the next morning. There’s no need to tell Xiaolan this, of course, she’s one of the most conscientious students I’ve ever met. But she’s used to having parents stay on her about schoolwork, and likes it when I include her in the reminders I give Lauren, so I do. Though most American college kids would bristle at being told they need to spend some time studying.
We made taco salads for lunch and then started another jigsaw puzzle on the dining room table. This one was a thousand pieces and was of mountains and a waterfall. It would be here a while.
My phone rang shortly after three o’clock and it was Abbott letting me know he was up and wondered if I’d like to come visit.
I did the math and realized there were six and a half hours until I had to meet Mordecai. Did I really want to spend so much time with Abbott? I told him I’d come over for a few hours, kissed Lauren and hugged Xiaolan, and ran upstairs to grab my hiking boots. I was wearing jeans and a sweater, so I grabbed a light jacket on my way out the door. I had Crocs on for now, and if I didn’t make it home before meeting Mordecai I’d be dressed okay once I swapped the Crocs for hiking boots. When it comes to shoes, I generally go for comfort.
I arrived at the house and parked around back as Abbott had requested. A shapeshifter I hadn’t met let me in, gave me a creepy-assed stare, and then walked through the kitchen without saying anything. I stood still, unsure of what I should do, and he unlocked and opened a door and said, “Well, come on then.”
He motioned me into what would probably have been the pantry had this been a house full of humans. My heart skipped a beat as the door closed behind me, and I looked at another shapeshifter with uncertainty as he just stared at me a few seconds with no greeting. He finally looked to his phone, and I got the impression he was comparing me to a picture I couldn’t see.
I reached another landing, and yet another door, and yet another shapeshifter. I mentally noted Abbott wasn’t messing around with security.
The shapeshifter fiddled with his phone and then turned it to me, and I saw it was set up for a video call.
“Announce yourself,” he ordered.
Unsure of what to say, I managed to get out, “Ummm, Kirsten, here to see Abbott?”
The door opened and Abbott said, “Thank you, Derrick,” as he took my hand and pulled me into the room.
Abbott and I rounded a corner into a well-decorated, comfortable great room with a fireplace. He turned and put his arms around me, his lips meeting mine for a nice gentle hello kiss, and I was disappointed it wasn’t an I-am-going-to-ravish-you kiss.
When it ended I asked, “You don’t mess around with security, do you? Is there a specific threat right now, or is this just general security?”
“This is as relaxed as we get. We’d have a small army here if there were a specific threat. I’ve blood-bonded some shapeshifters who are our daytime protection, and my vampires provide security at night.”
Common sense told me vampires were vulnerable during the day, so of course they’d have a ton of security, but… damn.
He steered me farther into the great room with his hand between my shoulder blades, and it felt more like I was being walked, as opposed to us walking arm in arm. It bothered me, which in itself was troubling because I can get off on being walked on a leash when in a scene.
Of course, we weren’t in a scene.
He guided me to sit beside him on one of the sofas, and asked, “Tell me, my darling, is anything tender from our play last night?”
Okay, the ‘my darling’ wasn’t quite as irritating as it’d been in the past. It still implied an ownership, or could be seen as a statement he possessed me in some way, but he had a little bit of a reason to claim me as his now, didn’t he? He’d given me some powerful orgasms, at any rate, and I’d given myself to him long enough for him to pull them out of me.
“Nope, everything is fine, no aftereffects at all.” Which was true. No busted capillaries from the rope, and even my nipples hadn’t been overly sensitive today. I had no idea how he’d managed it.
“Good, it wasn’t my intention to hurt you too much last night. How do you feel about things, now that you’ve had a chance to think?”
I had to give him total honesty, or at least my idea of total honesty in this moment. Anything less he’d smell as a lie. “I’m not certain it’s a good idea, but if you’re still interested then I’d like to explore it a little and see where it takes us. However, there are a few things I’d like to say out loud so there aren’t any misunderstandings.” I took a breath and plowed ahead. “I’m not going to curtail anything with James, and I’m not agreeing to see you exclusively, just as I don’t expect you to commit to me exclusively. This also means you aren’t to put the word out that I’m off limits.”
He gave me a sarcastic look. “That’s not quite what I expected, but I can live with it. For now.” He seemed to think for a moment, and his acerbic expression changed to curiosity with a hint of concern. “Why don’t you think it’s a good idea?”
“It just seems a bad idea for a human to fall for a vampire. Not because vampires are evil, because I don’t think that’s true. I mean, some are probably evil, just as some humans are evil, but it seems to me that being a vampire doesn’t automatically make you bad.” I was getting away from the point, so I steered back to it. “Mainly, it’s the difference in life spans, and the fact that our schedules don’t really work with each other, what with me having a day job and you being a creature of the night.” I shook my head and rubbed my thumb across the back of his hand. “There are just so many reasons it’s a bad idea. I think one of the biggest stumbling blocks is that you can’t go out in the sun. I get my energy from the sun — put me on a mountaintop on a bright sunny day and I can charge up enough to last for a week. If I’m out in the city at night I’m often drawing on the energy I gained during the day. However, I feel something for you, and I think it would be wrong to run from it, so I won’t. I’m not running towards you, either, but I’m willing to see where things might go.”
He contemplated me a few short seconds, and seemed pleased as he said, “Thank you for your honesty, and for admitting you feel something for me. I’ve felt something for you since I first saw you in the theater as you watched your daughter practice with such love on your face, and it’s only grown as I’ve gotten to know you. So, we will get to know each other as equals, and we will also explore a D/s relationship, correct?”
“As equals? But don’t you believe vampires are superior to humans? Do you really see me as an equal? How can you? You’re so much older, and you have such perspective. I can’t imagine that conversations with me can be all that stimulating.”
“But that’s precisely…” He paused and ran his fingers through his hair, just above his ear. “My darling, conversations with you are very stimulating. You have a perspective no one should have after a mere fifteen or so years of adulthood. I suppose you’re right about us not being total equals — I’m faster and stronger and can hear better. However, mentally, I don’t really see myself as superior to you. More learned in some things, certainly, but this doesn’t necessarily make me smarter. I appreciate your unique outlook on life, and the fact I never know what you’ll say next. You’ve made me think about things differently on more than one occasion, and for someone who has lived as long as I, that’s saying something. It’s part of what I like about you.”
While he was talking my cell phone vibrated, but I waited until he finished to pull it from my pocket to see who was calling.
I looked at Abbott as I said, “Hello, Mordecai,” into the phone.
“I just returned to the house and see your car. I have a few things to speak with you about.”
“I’m downstairs with Abbott.” I didn’t know if I could invite him down, so I said, “I can come up and talk.”
“You’ll have more privacy down here,” Abbott said. “I’ll give the okay for them to bring him down.”
Minutes later we were all seated in the great room, and I was once again bowled over by the authority and charisma oozing from Mordecai, not to mention his physical size and the fact he was a fucking beautiful man. Not a man, but a hero, something from legend. It felt as if he should have his own theme music following him around, and I could almost hear it when he walked into my presence. Or rather, when he walked so I was in his presence. I didn’t say anything, though, and hoped my scent signature didn’t give away the fact I was in awe of him.
Forcing myself to be casual, I sat on the sofa with my shoes off and my legs beside me. Mordecai chose a nearby chair practically facing me, and Abbott sat in another chair off to the side, as if he were an observer and not part of the conversation.
“It took me a decent amount of research and consideration to figure out what you’re doing,” Mordecai told me. “You’re using an old skill, but since you stumbled onto it and have figured it out with no instruction, you’re using it in a different way than I’ve seen it used in the past.”
Something shifted in the room, and I followed it to Abbott. He didn’t look different, but I pulled my brows together and looked at him, trying to figure out what felt different.
Abbott noted my expression and looked at Mordecai. “I’ve heard of humans who could form their aura into a sword. I thought it was legend?”
Mordecai shook his head. “Not just a legend, but I haven’t seen it in so long I’d forgotten many of the specifics. I time shifted back to the Library of
Alexandria, and was reminded. Even there, it was only brought up as legend, but it was enough to remind me of the facts as I remember them.”
He time shifted? Shit. Before I could ask about it, he looked towards me and said, “Once upon a time, special supernaturals trained for years to learn to construct weapons with their aura, but it was almost exclusively a sword, and they not only had to learn to form the sword, but how to wield it and handle it in a fight. However, you’ve stretched the energy out and are using it like a laser, and as a laser it seems to have a lot more flexibility and killing power, as well as a much longer reach. However, with the sword, they used their aura to create it, and then the energy went back into their aura when they finished. They only needed to keep a small amount of extra energy within their aura in order to wield their weapon. With your laser, you’re shooting it away from you, which means you have to store extra energy, and then pull more in as you use it, since humans don’t have the capacity to hold much.” My eyes shot to Abbott for a split second to see his reaction, but the vampire had a good poker face and I saw nothing.
“I’m constructing it from my aura?” I asked Mordecai. “I’ve always considered my aura to be the energy surrounding me, but I guess if we redefine it to the energy inside as well as outside, then yeah, that’s exactly what I’m doing.”
“Yes, it is your aura, your energy, the weapons stem from, which is why you can create heat without it burning you. When you placed your hand on me, the burn actually happened inside of my arm, just below the skin. The surface was red because the burn was under it, but most of the damage happened where you couldn’t see it. When you used your laser the other night, I could see space between your finger and the beginning of the laser. When I focused so I could see your aura, I could see it stemming from your aura instead of your finger. You’re using your finger as a focus — the laser isn’t coming out of your finger.”