Without a Hitch

by Andrew Price

  Alvarez clenched his fists. “Yes, I understand that,” he said with open hostility.

  The man ignored Alvarez’s hostility and continued with his snide tone. “You do realize you can’t write checks for more than you have in the account, correct?”

  “I know that too. I’ve had bank accounts before.”

  “I see.”

  “This is making me very angry, Alex,” the gray-haired woman said to Corbin.

  “I’m sorry to hear that, Patricia.”

  “I asked you to call me when Evan returned to his desk.”

  “And I’ve done that three times now.”

  “He’s never been here when I arrived.”

  “I can’t help that. I’m not a warden. I don’t control his movements. I notified you as ordered.”

  “Alex, it’s important I get this done,” the old woman said sternly. “I want you to find out where he’s at and let me know. I’ll go there and get the file directly from him.”

  “I don’t know where he’s at, Pat, and frankly, it’s not my job. If you want to find him, send out your little minions and let them hunt him down.”

  As Beckett sat on the park bench, watching the bank, a large number of grade-school children began pouring around the corner and gathering at the bank’s entrance. “What the heck?” Soon a woman appeared. She looked like a teacher. Then another woman appeared, possibly a second teacher. When the flow of children finally stopped, Beckett estimated the herd at fifty head. The two women lined the children up into rows of ten and started them into the bank. “He’s gonna love this.”

  Corbin politely informed the well-wisher, the fifth in the last twenty minutes, that he had just missed Beckett. Corbin told the same thing to each of the other well-wishers as well. This one, however, hung on longer than most.

  “I thought he might be here. I just got an e-mail from him,” the man in the gray striped suit and ugly orange tie repeated. For being nowhere near his desk all day, “Beckett” sent out a large number of e-mails throughout the day.

  “I’ll tell him you dropped by,” Corbin reassured the man, sneaking a peek at his brown shoes and white socks, beneath his too-short suit pants.

  “Thank you, Alex. How are you doing? Have you met your new officemate yet?”

  “No, I haven’t.”

  “He’s a fine fellow. You two should get along quite nicely.”

  “So I’ve heard.”

  As the well-wisher finally drifted off down the hallway, Molly replaced him at the door. She spent more time in Corbin’s office today than in her own. This time, she stirred a coffee cup.

  “Hmmm, coffee. Where is your lazy roommate?”

  “Beats me.”

  “You can’t cover for him forever.”

  “I’m not covering. He’s here somewhere.”

  “Uh huh,” Molly said. “You’re going to get caught, it’s just a matter of time.”

  “Good thing he gave me a suicide pill before he snuck out then, isn’t it,” Corbin said facetiously.

  “Sure, laugh it off, but people are starting to notice.”

  Corbin put his hand to his cheek and mustered his best “deeply concerned” tone. “Really? People besides you?”

  “I wouldn’t want to say.”

  “Your concern is touching,” Corbin said returning to his normal voice. “Why are you so paranoid about this?”

  “I’m not paranoid. I’m observant.”

  “That’s what all the crazies say.”

  “You’ll have to produce him at some point. That’s when this game of yours ends.”

  “Maybe I can find a double?” Corbin laughed.

  “Laugh all you want, but time is running out.”

  “What happened?” Beckett asked, noting Alvarez’s shell-shocked appearance.

  “If this was the first bank, I would have quit right there.”

  “Fortunately, this was the last bank. What happened?”

  “I was dealing with the manager, a royal cocksucker,” Alvarez said distantly. “I don’t know what his problem was, but he gave me grief about everything. He asked so many questions, I thought he was gonna jam a flashlight up my ass. I’ll tell you one thing, Corbin did a hell of a job with those fakes. Even his lease was perfect. This guy actually read the damn thing!”

  “As I said earlier, Corbin is a talented criminal. Get back to the story.”

  “Just as I thought I’d finally gotten everything resolved, he hands me the forms and I start zipping through them. Suddenly, all hell breaks loose. You know how when it starts raining, you see one rain drop, then another, and then two, and then a dozen, and suddenly you’re in a deluge? Same shit here. First, one kid, then two, then four, then a deluge: wave after wave of kids pouring through the door. They were everywhere, behind every counter, in front of every teller, blocking every exit. Dozens of little eyes stared at me as I filled out the forms. It was the most surreal thing I’ve ever experienced. Apparently, it was some sort of school field trip.”

  “They’re just kids.”

  “Yeah well, with the bank manager’s accusing stares, they seemed more like his own personal army of winged monkeys, watching me. . . staring at me.”

  Beckett looked at his watch. “Come on Dorothy, time to get back to Kansas.”

  Molly walked straight into Corbin’s office without knocking and sat down at Beckett’s desk. She scanned the desk for signs that Beckett had been there recently. Watching her examine Beckett’s coffee cup, Corbin congratulated himself for emptying half its contents only moments before.

  “This is getting old. Where is he?!”

  “Around.”

  “No, he isn’t. You two are up to something.” Molly picked up the coffee cup to see if it was still warm.

  “No, we’re not, Molly.”

  “I know you are. Your little friend hasn’t been in here all day.” Molly flipped through the papers on Beckett’s desk.

  “Yes, he has.”

  “Hello! I’m in the office next door. I would know.”

  Corbin shrugged his shoulders. “What do you want me to tell you?”

  “How about the truth?”

  “You won’t like the truth.”

  Molly spun around. “Let’s hear it!” she demanded.

  “The truth is he’s been in and out all day. Every time his rear hits the chair, someone calls him or e-mails him, and he takes off. The only break he’s had, that I know of, came when we went to lunch.”

  Molly shook her head. “No.”

  “I don’t know what else I can do to prove it to you?”

  “Habeas corpus counselor, produce the corpse.”

  “What is it with the big words today? Did you swallow a dictionary last night?”

  Molly waved her finger at Corbin. “I know he hasn’t been here, and I’m going to prove it. You can let me in on your little secret now, or I’ll expose you later.”

  “There’s nothing to expose!”

  “Yes, there is,” she said, rising from Beckett’s chair. “The more you deny it the more I’m convinced. You won’t get away with it, whatever it is, so you might as well tell me now.”

  “Go away.”

  “I’m warning you. Just when you think you’ve gotten away with it, there I’ll be, and you’ll be sorry you didn’t let me in on your little plan.” Molly slammed the office door.

  Beckett stood in the middle of 30th Street Station. A towering statue of the Archangel Michael, lifting the body of a dead soldier, looked down on Beckett from the entranceway to the cavernous room. Beckett felt relieved. They’d gotten away with it, so far at least. The money still had to be collected, but that was up to Corbin and Alvarez. Beckett’s role was over, so he planted himself on a wooden bench and let his eyes roam the room, enjoying the artwork and watching the passersby. As he sat there, all of his muscles relaxed and he nearly fell asleep.

  Alvarez joined him after buying a Coke.

  Beckett ran his hand along the heavy bench. “This b
ench has probably been here at least a hundred years.”

  “Could be.” Alvarez felt more drained than relaxed.

  “I wonder how many thieves sat on this very spot during those hundred years?”

  “Whatever it is, add two more.” Alvarez rubbed his eyes and popped the top on his Coke. “I need to go to the bathroom.”

  “Don’t let me stop you.”

  “Corbin wanted me to take the duffel bag.”

  “To the can?” Beckett asked facetiously.

  “You know what I mean.”

  Beckett waved his hand toward the bag. “All yours.”

  “Is everything in there?”

  “Yep.”

  “Your pockets are empty?”

  Beckett raised an eyebrow. “Yes.”

  “Do you want to check again.”

  “No.”

  Alvarez grabbed the bag. “I’ll see you on the train. Remember, we agreed to board separately.”

  “I remember.”

  Alvarez pulled the duffel bag over his shoulder. He looked up at the station board. The train was running late.

  For the past hour, Corbin fended off several waves of well-wishers, many of whom were repeat visitors who wondered why Beckett had yet to come see them. So far, everything ran smoothly, but Corbin knew Beckett needed to make an appearance soon or things could unravel. Before Beckett could make his appearance however, Corbin needed to pick him up. To do that, he had to get rid of Molly. This was proving to be difficult. As the day progressed, her suspicion level increased. Beginning an hour ago, she started making spot checks in Corbin’s office. Now she tried a new tactic.

  Molly entered the office without knocking and made her way to Beckett’s chair. “Fancy meeting you here, too bad I can’t say the same thing about your roomie.” She was shaking something between her fingers.

  “What’s shakin’?”

  Molly showed Corbin a small glass bottle containing a liquid that matched the dark-red color on her nails. “I was sitting all by myself in my office, thinking about doing my nails. Then I remembered you were all alone, so I thought I’d come over here and keep you company. I brought plenty of polish, if you want to share.”

  “I’ll pass.”

  “How are things?” Molly set the nail polish down and began filing one of her nails.

  “I’m actually kind of busy, Molly.”

  “Don’t let me interrupt you.”

  “That’s not what I meant.” Corbin waited, but Molly didn’t respond. “Ok, let’s be blunt. Please leave.”

  “No.”

  “I don’t want to throw you out, but I will.”

  “Doubt it.” Molly concentrated on her filing.

  “I can make you want to leave.”

  “Not until I find out what you two are up to.”

  “If you don’t leave, I’ll start making lewd comments until you do leave.”

  “You wouldn’t know how.” Molly still didn’t look up from her work.

  “Fine, you asked for it,” Corbin said reluctantly. He slowly examined her up and down, as if he were a computer conducting an electronic scan.

  Noticing his silence, Molly looked up to see what Corbin was doing. “What are you looking at?”

  “I understand that one of the hardest things for strippers to deal with are guys who show up just to nitpick their bodies. I’m going to put that to the test. First, I’m going to guess your weight, then I’m going to move on to guessing other measurements.” Molly was by no means fat, but she wasn’t exactly thin either. And while Corbin found her figure quite attractive, he knew her weight was an issue for her, as he’d seen the much slenderer Theresa score direct hits on this point several times in the past.

  Molly’s smile vanished instantly. “You wouldn’t dare.”

  “If you’re still here after that, I’ll start cataloging defects. Last chance to leave.”

  “You wouldn’t dare,” she repeated.

  “Let’s see, you’re certainly north of 150 pounds.”

  Molly’s face flushed.

  “I’d say you’re probably north of 160 as well.”

  Molly’s face turned bright red and her eyes bulged.

  “Maybe as much as 164, though I wouldn’t rule out 170.”

  Molly’s jaw dropped. Not only had Corbin guessed, but he’d guessed somewhat accurately. “Bastard!” she spat out.

  “Are you leaving?”

  “No,” Molly said resolutely.

  “Those are some mighty big feet you got there, Molly, not to mention some saggy—”

  “Stop!” Molly jerked herself out of the chair. As she stormed out the door in a huff, she cursed Corbin over her shoulder.

  Corbin breathed a sigh of relief. Now he could get Beckett.

  When Beckett and Alvarez boarded in Philadelphia, their car was nearly empty. By the time they reached the outer suburbs, they were alone. With no one to overhear them, they began arguing and accusing each other of making the entire trip unnecessarily difficult. This continued until they reached Baltimore.

  Alvarez rose as the train rolled to a stop. He grabbed the duffel bag. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but I never want to see you again.”

  “Ditto.”

  Without another word, Alvarez left the train.

  Beckett watched him leave. “Idiot.”

  Chapter 12

  Beckett climbed into Corbin’s car. Corbin had already spoken to Alvarez and knew the trip had been successful. He also knew Alvarez and Beckett had not gotten along and that Beckett would need to blow off a lot of steam. He took the long way back to the office.

  “You’re late,” Corbin tweaked Beckett, as Beckett had tweaked Alvarez earlier.

  “Talk to the train.”

  “Sure, blame an innocent train. How’d it go?”

  Beckett wasted no time unloading. “I don’t know where you dug that guy up, but what a freakin’ loser! He kept panicking! If I wasn’t there, he’d be in jail right now describing you and me in detail.”

  “I take it you two didn’t get along?”

  “That’s the understatement of the century.”

  “But you got it done.”

  “Of course, we got it done! I told you we would do it, and we did it, but that’s not the point. I’m not in this for the adventure and I don’t get off on the adrenaline. I’m only doing this because I have no choice. I need to support my family, and my boss made sure I couldn’t do that within the system. . .”

  Corbin let Beckett ramble. Several minutes later, he was still complaining.

  “It makes me nervous as all hell that we’re working with a guy who spent the whole time sweating like a pig, whining like a baby, and freaking out every time he saw a cop.”

  “Nerves are a fact of life.”

  “You promised me this guy was solid. He wasn’t.”

  “What do you mean not solid? He voluntarily walked into bank after bank and handed them fake identification paperwork, knowing he was a sitting duck if they called the cops. Besides, from what I hear, you were nervous just waiting around outside.”

  Beckett glared at Corbin. “Who told you that? Did that weasel call you and bitch about me?!”

  “Take it easy.”

  “Did he tell you about his eruption at the McDonalds?! Did he tell you he nearly started a fist fight at the counter with a cop ten feet away?”

  “Calm down. It’s over.”

  Beckett’s nostrils flared. He took several deep breaths. Finally, he began to calm down. “You’re right. The hard part’s done.”

  Corbin turned off the main road. They were two minutes from the office. “We’re almost back. Last chance to yell, scream, whatever you need to do to get the adrenaline out of your system. Then we need to get you back into office mode.”

  “I’m all right. Tell me about the office.”

  “You spent the entire day out processing and being pulled from office to office so people could wish you good riddance.” Corbin handed Beckett a sheet
of paper. “Here’s a list of everyone who dropped by to see you. The checkmarks mean you e-mailed them that you would drop by later. Patricia’s looking for you. She wants your out-processing file. I’ve got that in my desk. Kak came by a couple times. I think he wants to give you his standard goodbye words of wisdom.”

  “He won’t do that at the party?”

  “No, he never goes to the party. He’ll corner you privately and tell you you’re a flawed human being and that someday you’ll thank him for telling you that. That’s his way of making himself feel better.”

  “Jerk off to the end, huh?”

  “Yep. At this point, Molly’s the only one who’s suspicious. She’s been a royal pain in the ass. She doesn’t believe you’re in the office today. She thinks you’re playing hooky. Don’t commit to being in the office at any particular time, she may have been tracking her visits. Also, don’t tell her you were at your desk for more than five minutes at any one time. F-Y-I, you’ve bought two cups of coffee today and drank about half of each, but never right away, just sips whenever you made it back to the office. You and I went to lunch around 12:15 and got back at one. On the post-lunch coffee trip, we ran into Stuart, who told us about his TiVo recording porn during the days. At that point, the front office came and took you away.”

  “Who from the front office?”

  “I didn’t say. I’d go with Zolensky, he won’t remember if he talked to you.”

  “Won’t Stuart know I wasn’t with you at the time?”

  “No, he’s actually pretty sure he saw you several times during the day. Also, Stuart won’t mention the porn thing to Molly or anyone else, so there’s no real chance of anyone investigating the story. Finally, remember you’ve been busy meeting people all day. You need to be calm, if not a bit worn down, and very, very bored.”

  “Got it. How did the alibis go?”

  “Perfectly. Traceable phone calls, computer usage, e-mails, lunch receipts, credit card bills, and one court reporter. It all went off without a hitch.”

  Beckett stared out the window as the mall parking garage came into view. “I’ve got to hand it to you, this thing is working like a charm.”