Back to Me

by Earl Sewell

I want to know who you are and what part of heaven you come from.

  I want the combination to your heart so that I can make your emotions my own.

  Whenever I think about you, my heart and soul soar like an eagle.

  Your smile is like warm sunshine on my face.

  Whenever it rains, it reminds me of all the tears I’ve caused you to shed.

  Your teardrops burst inside my soul and remind me of how much we’ve been through.

  My heart wants to dance with your heart and tell it how sorry I am.

  My soul sings for you and my mind is consumed with thoughts of us

  being together as one once again.

  I once read that the first step toward healing is learning to forgive.

  I hope you can forgive me so that I can walk one more step closer to you.

  I glanced at Keysha and noticed her eyes brimming with moisture. I opened my purse and handed her a tissue.

  “That was so beautiful.” Keysha wiped away a teardrop. “Wasn’t that sweet?” she asked, glancing back at me.

  “Yes, it was nice,” I acknowledged as the next poet came onto the stage. In the back of my mind, I was wishing Wesley was Misalo, apologizing to me. Keysha and I sat and listened to several more spoken word artists.

  When that segment of the program concluded, Keysha said, “Come on. I want to go talk to Wesley about his performance.”

  “You go ahead. I’m going to run to the bathroom. I’ll come back,” I said.

  “Okay.” Keysha was on such an emotional high that she damn near levitated toward the rear of the stage, where the performers were.

  “Oh, God,” I mumbled to myself. “I hope she isn’t planning on trying to hook back up with him. That would just be too crazy.” I asked one of the security guards where the portable bathroom was, and she pointed me in the right direction. As I walked across the field and maneuvered my way through the crowd, I thought I saw Misalo off in a distance, talking to someone. It was difficult to confirm whether or not it was him because of my position and the size of the crowd.

  “Misalo,” I called, hoping he’d turn in the direction of my voice, but he couldn’t hear me over the noisy crowd. I was finally able to move to a better position and confirm that it was him. He was hugging some girl.

  “Who in the hell is that?” I asked myself as I rushed toward them. As I got closer and saw who he was with, I blurted out, “Oh, hell no!” and quickened my pace.

  “Can I talk to you for a minute?” I asked, tugging on his arm.

  “Uh, excuse you. I do believe you’re being very rude,” said Viviana.

  “You need to stay away from him. You two don’t have a thing to talk about,” I snapped at her.

  “Look, Maya. Why don’t you go hang out with Carlo? That’s who you really want,” said Misalo.

  I tried to get him to look into my eyes so that he could see the truth. He turned his cheek to me. He couldn’t even bring himself to meet my gaze.

  “Is that what you think?” I asked.

  “Please. You want Carlo more than a bee wants a pot of honey,” Viviana said, as if she were a credible authority on what I wanted.

  I stepped in front of Misalo, raised my voice and pointed my finger in Viviana’s face. “You know what? You need to stay out of my business, trick!”

  “Get your finger out of my face, Maya!” Viviana snarled, issuing a threat.

  “And if I don’t?” I encouraged her to make a move on me. I was all set to beat her down for even talking to Misalo.

  “You know what? I’m going to be the bigger person today. Besides, it’s obvious that Misalo wants nothing to do with you. He didn’t even hang around to listen to your annoying voice.” Viviana laughed at me condescendingly.

  I looked over my shoulder, and sure enough, Misalo had walked away. I scanned the crowd but could not locate him.

  “Obviously, you don’t have a clue as to what it takes to keep a man,” Viviana remarked as she turned and began walking away.

  “Go to hell, Viviana!”

  “I’ve already been there. It’s your turn now, honey,” she said, flipping up her middle finger at me.

  I was literally about to rush up to her and beat her down, but I saw my little sister, Anna, approaching her and decided against it, at least for right now.

  Five

  VIVIANA

  I couldn’t believe how Maya had come out of a bag just because I was talking to Misalo. She really had a lot of nerve. The fact of the matter was that Misalo had approached me. Right after Anna left for the concession stand, he appeared out of nowhere and tapped me on my shoulder. When I turned to see who was trying to get my attention, I was actually nervous when I saw that it was him. I thought he’d somehow figured out I’d forwarded the photos he had of Maya in his phone.

  “Viviana, right?” he asked.

  “Yes,” I answered, feeling apprehensive.

  “I just wanted to thank you again for showing me what Maya is all about. I know it could not have been easy for you to snitch on your own cousin.” Misalo had such a look of sincerity in his eyes. I almost felt guilty for causing him pain. I stood there making mental notes of his every feature. He wasn’t a bad-looking guy. He had kissable lips, dreamy eyes and, from what I could tell, a really decent personality. He was a little on the skinny side, but since he was muscular, he didn’t really look too scrawny. He clearly was much different than any guy I’d ever been with. He certainly wasn’t the thug type, but with a little help from me, I was certain I could wrinkle up his smooth edges and turn him into my own personal bad boy.

  “I don’t like it when good people get hurt,” I lied. I could’ve cared less about his feelings at the time, but now that he was single again, my position had changed.

  “I still can’t believe I was such a fool.” A glum expression spread across his face.

  “It’s nothing. Everybody plays the fool sometimes. At least that’s what my daddy used to tell me,” I said, stepping closer to him. I placed the palm of my hand on his back, between his shoulders, and rubbed away some of his tension.

  “Sounds like he was a very smart man,” Misalo said. When he recognized my father as being brilliant, he instantly earned points with me.

  “Yes. My daddy was the best father a girl could ever wish to have,” I said proudly.

  “Perhaps I’ll meet him someday,” Misalo said.

  I was stunned by his comment. I’d never in my life met a boy who actually said he wouldn’t mind meeting my dad. Misalo earned serious points with me for that. As much as I didn’t want to admit it, I was starting to see why Maya was fond of him.

  “I’d love for you to meet him, but he passed away,” I said, releasing a sigh. Whenever I thought about my father, it always saddened me.

  “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know,” he replied, immediately apologizing.

  For the life of me, I couldn’t explain what possessed me to step closer to him and hug him. Perhaps I just needed a hug at that moment. I didn’t know. I was relieved when he didn’t push me away and returned the gesture.

  “It’s okay.” His words were comforting. “Maybe we’ll have a chance to hang out someday. Then you could tell me what he was like.”

  I pulled back and gazed in Misalo’s eyes to see if he was sincere. When I did, all I saw was pure honesty. I was so caught up with the fact he had any interest in me at all that I didn’t see Maya racing toward us. I couldn’t believe how absolutely rude she was, barging in on our conversation the way she had. I mean seriously, if Misalo still wanted to be with her, he would have been. Regardless of the video clip I’d shown him of Maya slow dancing with Carlo, the fact remained that Maya had crossed the line. I certainly didn’t encourage her to hook up with Carlo. She did that all on her own.

  When M
aya dared me to make a move on her, I was about to unload a series of hammer fists with one hand and pull her hair with the other. Just before I was about to follow through, I stopped myself because a really wicked idea formed in my mind. In an instant, I knew exactly how I was going to make her life a living hell. It was going to take guts, but if I played my cards right, I knew I could pull it off. So, instead of kicking Maya’s butt in front of Misalo, I backed off because what I had in mind for her was going to hurt far worse than any punch ever could.

  After I left Maya standing alone, looking really stupid, Anna and I walked to the other side of the festival, where there were carnival games and rides. We hooked up with two of Anna’s friends and hopped on a fun house ride. After that, we hit the bumper cars and then got on a water-coaster ride. Once we got off of that one, our clothes were drenched.

  “OMG. Look at how soaked I am,” said Anna as she combed her fingers through her wet, stringy hair.

  “Our clothes will dry,” I said, trying to wring some of the water out of my T-shirt.

  “You know what? We should get on another roller-coaster ride. The fast velocity that the cars travel at should help us get drier a lot quicker,” suggested Anna.

  “You’re so smart,” I said, complimenting her.

  “It just makes sense, don’t you think?” she asked.

  “It does to me,” I said.

  We stood in line a total of four times for the roller-coaster ride. Just as Anna predicted, our clothes got dry pretty quickly.

  As nightfall began to arrive, Anna and I decided to stay for the fireworks show. We found a grassy area in the middle of the baseball field with just enough space for the two of us to sit. I decided to lean back on my elbows and gaze up at the stars. I closed my eyes for a moment but quickly opened them up when I heard someone say, “Excuse me. I’m trying to get through.”

  I didn’t move fast enough, and somehow Misalo stepped in the wrong direction and smashed my fingers.

  “Ouch!” I yelled out.

  “Oh, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to step on you. It’s just so crowded out here. I guess I didn’t see your hand,” he said, apologizing immediately. I wiggled all my fingers to make sure they still functioned.

  “You’ll live,” Anna said as she took a peek at my fingers.

  “Do you guys mind if I sit and watch the fireworks display with you?” Misalo asked.

  “I don’t care what you do,” Anna answered him.

  Misalo then looked at me.

  “Yeah, I guess,” I said, still wiggling the pain out of my fingers.

  Misalo sat beside me and said, “Let me take a look.”

  He took my hand into his own and began brushing away the dirt. He seemed genuinely concerned. I focused on him instead of my fingers. The strangest thing happened the moment he touched me. The pain evaporated. I couldn’t believe how caught up in his touch I got.

  “You know Maya is lurking around, don’t you, Misalo?” Anna asked.

  I took my hand back and glanced over at Anna. It was the first time that I wished she weren’t with me.

  “Yeah, I saw her earlier, but I don’t want to deal with her,” he said.

  “And you shouldn’t have to, especially after the way she played you with Carlo,” I said, feeling an immediate need to fuel his anger.

  “I don’t think I’ll ever understand why you and Carlo are so hooked on Maya,” Anna said, lowering her head between her shoulders and shaking it disapprovingly.

  “You also knew about Carlo?” Misalo asked.

  “It was so obvious,” Anna said just as the night sky lit up with the first round of fireworks.

  I sat there with Misalo, feeling like we were on a date. Although he didn’t say much more or try anything, for some strange reason I began developing feelings for him. I glanced at him one more time, just to be sure. The first thought that came to my mind was that we’d make a great-looking couple.

  Six

  MAYA

  After the fireworks show ended, Keysha, Wesley and I gathered our belongings and began heading home. Keysha had invited Wesley to hang out with us. I was disappointed that she’d invited him to our girl outing, especially since I was dying to talk to her about how I saw Viviana looking at my man like she was about to put her hooks in him. Then the way Misalo played me… I couldn’t believe that he just walked away from me. What the hell was that about? In a million years I never would’ve thought that Misalo would treat me this way.

  “You’re awfully quiet. Is everything okay?” asked Wesley.

  I tried not to cut my eyes at him, but I couldn’t help it. “I’m fine,” I answered as we walked across a parking lot filled with cars.

  “She and Misalo broke up,” Keysha said, filling in the blanks for him.

  “Oh, no. I’m so sorry. I didn’t know,” Wesley replied.

  “You were in rehab. You had no way of knowing,” I said. I wanted my words to sting him. Although he didn’t personally do anything to me or deserve it, I felt the need to lash out at the closest male.

  “How did it happen?” asked Wesley.

  “Does it really matter? And for the record, Keysha, we haven’t broken up. We just have a big misunderstanding that needs to be worked out. I know my man. He’s just in a funny place right now and needs me more than he realizes,” I said, knowing my words were the honest truth.

  “If you guys don’t mind, I’d like to walk both of you home,” Wesley said, changing the subject.

  I was about to say, “Yes, I do mind,” but I knew that would be totally rude.

  “I’m cool with that,” said Keysha.

  I shrugged my shoulders in agreement. At that point, I just wanted to get home.

  Fifteen minutes later, I was standing at my door, saying good-night to Wesley and Keysha.

  “Call me when you get in the house. I need to talk to you,” I whispered to Keysha as she gave me a hug.

  “Okay,” she whispered back.

  “See you later, Wesley,” I said before stepping inside.

  I locked the door and went up to my room. I changed clothes and freshened up, putting on my pajama outfit. I called Misalo but got no answer. I sent him a text message that read, If you truly ever loved me, please give me a call. I sat on the edge of my bed with my phone, waiting for his response. When he didn’t answer right away, I felt like crying. A short time later, my phone rang.

  “Hello, Misalo?” I assumed it was him.

  “No, it’s me, Keysha. I made it home safely,” she informed me.

  “Oh,” I said, releasing a disappointed sigh.

  “Why did you say it like that? Didn’t you have a good time?” Keysha finally picked up on the fact that I was feeling dismal.

  “I saw Misalo at the festival,” I said, walking over to my bedroom door and closing it.

  “For real? Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked.

  “Duh. You were too busy entertaining Wesley,” I remarked sarcastically.

  “I was not all that into Wesley. I was just happy to see that he was doing well,” Keysha retorted, defending her behavior.

  “Could’ve fooled me,” I remarked.

  “Okay, out with it. What happened with Misalo?” Keysha asked.

  “My slut of a cousin, Viviana, was trying to get way too friendly with him,” I said.

  “Get out of here! No way!” Keysha spoke so loudly I had to pull my phone away from my ear.

  “Yeah, she was. I put a stop to that real quick. I snapped on her. I don’t know who she thinks she is, but she has absolutely no need or reason to talk to Misalo,” I said, fanning the flames of my anger.

  “So, what did Misalo say and do?” Keysha asked.

  “That’s the part I’m really ticked off about. He didn’t stick around.
While I was busy threatening to beat Viviana down, he walked away from me,” I explained.

  “Wow! That doesn’t seem like something Misalo would do.” By the sound of her voice, I could tell that Keysha was just as perplexed as I was.

  “I know. He’s being a real jerk right now, but I’m hoping he at least has a good reason for the way he’s treating me. I have to figure out what’s going on with him so that we can get through this together as a couple,” I said, looking at a photo of him that I had in a scrapbook.

  “Nothing that Misalo is doing makes sense. I mean, honestly, you should be ticked off with him for sending those photos of you to everyone,” Keysha reminded me.

  “I am mad. I’m also really hurt by what he’s done, but I’m at least willing to listen to his side of the story as to why he did it. If I could understand his logic, then I’m sure I’d be able to forgive him.” I paused and sighed. “Keysha, I just want things to go back to the way they were.”

  “How is that going to happen? Especially if he can’t stand being near you.”

  “I don’t know how, but I’ll figure out something,” I said.

  “Maybe I’ll confront him when I see him again at the pool, and ask him for a straight answer,” Keysha said.

  “I have an idea,” I said, snapping my fingers.

  “What?” Keysha asked.

  “Why don’t I hang around the pool with you? That way you won’t have to ask him for me. I could do it myself.”

  “Sounds like a plan to me,” Keysha agreed.

  “But wait. I have to make him really want to be near me since he seems to have forgotten how much he loves me,” I said.

  “I can hear your mind clicking through this phone. What’s going on inside that head of yours?” Keysha asked.

  “Ha. You know me too well,” I said, chuckling.

  “Best friends are supposed to know each other like that,” Keysha said.

  “Yeah, yeah, yeah,” I agreed. “Okay, I want to go to the mall and find me a really hot bathing suit. Something that will make his head turn when he sees me in it.”