Becoming Carmen

by Angel Cole

  She had already ordered books from the internet on healthier lifestyle choices, and she planned to take all the junk food, processed packaged foods she had cleared out, to the nearest shelter. Eyeing the full bags of food in frustration and regret, she could not bear the thought of wasting food, even the unhealthy kind.

  She groaned aloud, and leaned forward in the chair, covering her face with both hands, suddenly realizing, the magnitude of these changes would have to extend to the liquor store as well. The introduction of the processed and fast foods into the store had been a significant catalyst that had contributed to her and Anthony's weight gain. They would have no choice but to change what foods the store stocked and sold as well. She could not even wrap her mind around the considerable feat of cutting out the fast food in the liquor store, and the impact that could have on their revenue. Shaking her head, to clear the panic that had begun to set in, Carmen resolved in her brain to go about things one endeavor at a time.

  'Charity begins at home,' she thought. 'Isn't that how the saying goes? Well, it is time to get out the old walking shoes. Tomorrow is a new day for the Mendez family.’

  CHAPTER 16

  Six Months Later

  Carmen, Sherry, Nicki, and Dani were seated on the patio of the beautiful seaside villa that Dani had rented for their Girlz trip that year. They enjoyed the cool ocean breeze as they sat in companionable silence. This trip had been one of the best ones in Carmen's opinion. They had all come to accomplish something. This year's Girlz meeting had held the theme of truth, forgiveness, and new beginnings. And in Carmen's opinion, that was what they had done. The women had laid bare all their thoughts and secrets.

  Carmen felt compelled to express to the group, "We've become so much more powerful today as women and as people."

  Sherry responded quickly, "How so, Carmen? I feel drained, exhausted, and far from empowered."

  Carmen laughed as the other women shook their heads in silent agreement with Sherry's statement. She responded with a shoulder shrug and stated, "We've freed ourselves from the bonds of secrets and lies." Carmen leaned forward in her chair quickly as she had seen she had ruffled some feathers with her observations.

  She sighed as she wanted the women to see what she saw," Wait! Hold up. Please let me finish." She pointedly looked at Sherry, who had also leaned forward in her seat; her mouth opened on an anticipated heated response as her brows had furrowed in agitation ready to defend herself. Carmen quickly continued, her fingers interlaced, in front of herself, as not to incite more anger from her friends and appear non-threatening.

  "I'm not calling anyone here a liar," she explained, "but we do unintentionally lie to our loved ones and ourselves through omission of telling our truth and opening a conversation on what's bothering us. I mean honestly, how can we get help or even help each other through shit and grow if we are not talking?"

  She shrugged her shoulders, "How do we get closure if we don't tell someone what's wrong with us?"

  Nicki chimed in agreement, "I get that, Carmen." All the women had turned their heads to listen intently to Nicki's take on Carmen's opinions, "For example, Brandon's always telling me 'baby don't make me guess at what's bugging you, tell me. I'm not a mind reader.' Nicki giggled, as she mimicked a gruff, deep male voice. "And he says we waste precious time playing cat and mouse. I may not always get what I want or even need from him, but he can't come back later and claim he didn't know what I was asking. And voila! There's no confusion or misinterpretation." The women all nodded in agreement and understanding.

  Dani pointedly looked at Sherry as she continued along the same line as Nicki's thought, "In other words, Nicki you are saying how can I help you if you are not coming clean with what's bothering you and about what you need and or want from me?"

  Sherry lowered her eyes from Dani's but nodded her head in comprehension and agreement, "yeah, I get it." She murmured, more to herself than the other women.

  Carmen and Nicki both answered simultaneously, except Nicki enhanced her response with an enthusiastic, loud clap, "EXACTLY!"

  By the end of that year's girlz meeting, Carmen truly believed they had begun the process of healing old hurts, and their relationships would become stronger than ever. They finally felt purged, liberated from their burdens. Sherry and Dani had settled themselves across the patio in a more secluded spot and spent hours talking, hugging and brushing tears from each other's faces after Sherry had revealed to the group the truth of why she had been avoiding their meetings, phone calls and more specifically Dani and her godchildren for so long.

  Nicki had confided that she and Brandon desperately wanted children but had been having fertility issues and that Nicki had had a long battle with pain medication addiction, but she had been drug-free for over two years with the help of rehabilitation.

  Not anticipating the heaviness of the meeting; Carmen had put her extensive business education and insight to work, putting together a business proposal for her and her most trusted friends to become partners in the expansion of the liquor store in an ambitious attempt at bringing healthier living, eating, and lifestyle to their old neighborhood. Carmen had taken advantage of the timing of the planned meeting and approached the ladies with a proposition of co-ownership of the family store. Both Anthony and her mother had agreed, it was an excellent business proposal, giving her their blessing to move forward with the presentation to the women. And fortunately, all the women were on board as well, excited about the prospect of expansion and the vast improvements that would help their old community.

  Carmen took a deep breath of the fresh ocean air. As they sat on the patio, she looked around at the women who were her closest friends. She briefly flashed back to that tragic day so many years ago when they'd held each other in grief and terror while consoling her at the same time. She had intuitively known that day that years later, these women would still play a significant role in her life. She'd realized that they had all gone through so much to make them the incredible people they were today. She'd grasped that her journey to become who she was today would have been much different without these women. She was grateful to have such amazing women in her life.

  "Hey, you guys," Carmen called out to her girls, snapping them out of their thoughts as they all turned to face her. "You guys know I love you all, right?"

  "You better," Sherry laughed. "Because we are about to be way up in each other's business if we are going to get this store running and it is going to be awkward if you don't at least like us."

  "It's okay if anyone is having any second thoughts or wants to back out," Dani said, looking each of them in the eye. "This is a big commitment, and you don't have to agree to it immediately."

  "No way. I'm in baby girl! I can't wait to bring positive change to our old hood. Do you know how many people travel outside the neighborhood to get quality foods; fruits and vegetables? Of course, you do," Sherry answered her own heated question, "Our parents did the same for us." She finished, breathing rapidly at the memory. "You better believe I'm on board," she reiterated.

  "Yeah, I need this," Nicki spoke up. "I need the push to get my ass in gear. Anthony's heart attack started that for me, and I have lost thirty pounds since his surgery."

  "Wow, that's great, Nicki!" Dani gave her praise, and the other ladies all murmured words of agreement.

  "But it's not enough," Nicki continued in a solemn tone. "I still have a long way to go and, well, I need this store. I know that I will benefit, as will so many of the people in our old neighborhood." She let out a light, nervous giggle at the end of her short speech. Nicki had always had the nervous habit of giggling after making serious statements to take the edge off. Dani reached over her chair to lay a hand on Nicki's arm, rubbing it gently in a silent show of support.

  "We are all so damaged," Carmen commented as they all sat in silence, immersed in their thoughts. "How did that happen? We have great lives, great careers, wonderful families, and the best of friends. I don't understand."


  "That's life, baby girl," Sherry shrugged. "It may not be like that for everybody, but it is ours. We were the ones chosen for these journeys, and we are still here, together. We are blessed, talented, gifted, special, war-torn, and damaged. But we are together, and that is what matters."

  "Yes," Carmen nodded, in agreement. "As long as we have each other, we can make it through anything.”

  EPILOGUE

  One Year Later

  Carmen, Sherry, Nicki, and Dani stood in front of the doors of Corner Health, celebrating the grand opening of the beautiful store. She was happy- they all were. Happy and physically fit, comfortable in their bodies and with where they were in their lives.

  She and the girls had also successfully secured the business loans needed to open the expanded store and did all the planning, advertising, marketing work required to start up the new business successfully.

  Carmen was not only celebrating the opening of the store, but also her recent bid to run for Mayor of her city. She and Anthony had also spent the last year building upon her campaign. She had a lot of work to do for her community, and she believed both as its Mayor and as someone interested in ensuring the people she grew up with, and their families received the education, resources, and access to those things they needed to live longer and healthier.

  And on this special day, her girlz stood beside her at the podium, taking turns to give their speeches. She could not have been prouder of the people that she called her best friends and sisters. Throughout the year, they all shed an impressive cumulative and individual amount of excess weight from their bodies. They each were more physically fit, and they had all improved the quality of their lives. Each had moved closer to some additional degree of happiness in their lives.

  Nicki had stopped using her wheelchair and now walked with a full leg cast and her cane on, especially tough days.

  Sherry had made a concerted effort to communicate her feelings more openly with her friends. She had even flown Anna to California for a vacation and to meet the family. Sherry had elected to move back to California, as she felt she would be most effective closer to home and with support from her family and her friends. She also spent time with Dani and her godchildren reconnecting to repair their relationship.

  Dani had filed for divorce from Trey. It had been an intense court battle, but Dani felt that she had to go through every bit of the struggle for her children. She was awarded full custody of her three children.

  And as for Carmen, she finally felt that she was living her life and fulfilling her dreams. She was becoming Carmen, the woman she was always meant to be.

  About the Author

  Angel Cole is the author of “The Phat Girlz Club,” a work of fiction, which was released earlier in 2019 and can be found both as an eBook at Kindle and in paperback at Amazon.com. “Becoming Carmen: The Phat Girlz Club”, is the first sequel to be released. Her next sequel, “Nicki’s Gift: The Phat Girlz Club” is anticipated to be released late fall of 2019.

  Regardless of her primary career in healthcare, Angel Cole has explored several trades, which have given her exposure to a host of different experiences. Contending with her weight and life challenges through the years, she has found that her successes in life have been aided by a mutually supportive environment of comradeship and love. Angel believes few of us can independently triumph or sustain their success without the support of a similarly focused team. She hopes you enjoy the relatable journey of her Girlz in finding themselves again and taking back their lives together and individually.

  Look for her upcoming books which extensively the tale of each woman’s journey to her success.

  Follow Angel at www.angelcolebooks.com