Kissing the Maid of Honor

by Robin Bielman

  “Okay,” she said, returning with two beach towels in her arms, “so maybe I’ve always wanted to go skinny-dipping and I…” She stopped in front of him. “I want to do it with you.”

  He cupped her cheek. “I’ll be sure to make it memorable, then.”

  She leaned into his hand. “I know you will. Now let’s go before I chicken out. The water is going to be freezing, but I’m determined to get us both in there.”

  They locked the apartment and crossed the street to the small, deserted beach. The fog swallowed them, making it difficult to see very far. He took Sela’s hand and trudged through the sand, the sound of crashing waves calling to them. The salty air churned eagerness and trepidation inside him.

  “You don’t have to squeeze my hand so tight. I’m not going anywhere.”

  He eased up on his grip.

  “I’m a really good swimmer, Luke. You don’t have to worry about me. I’ve swam in these waves a hundred times. And I know you’re a good swimmer. Remember that Labor Day back in high school when we were all down at Seascape Beach and some girl got stuck pretty far out and started waving her arms for help? You beat the lifeguard out there and helped get her back to shore.”

  He’d been called a hero that day. The girls on the beach had paid him extra attention afterward, and the guys had given him crap for being a show-off. “I remember.”

  “The mind-and-body connection is pretty powerful. Think you can do it and you will.” She let go of his hand and jogged ahead. She turned, kept up a backward pace, and pulled her sweater over her head. “Last one in is a rotten egg.”

  Luke gave chase. He got to the water’s edge and threw the towels. Sela shimmied out of her jeans. He tossed his shirt, yanked off his pants. She shivered as she slipped out of her panties and bra. He heard her teeth chatter while he shucked his boxers. They eyed each other for one quick second before she took off.

  Following her into the water wasn’t a hardship. The only thought in his head was staying close to her. Wrapping her naked body around his. The low tide helped his entrance. Her perfect curves and her squeals as she swam deeper into the freezing water helped rid him of any apprehension.

  Before Luke knew it, the ocean reached his waist. His chest. Ragged breaths rang in his ears, but he blamed the cold temperature, not any negative emotion. Because the only thing he felt at the moment was elation.

  His muscles flexed with confidence. He kicked and rowed his arms with ease. As the waves rushed at him, so did faith. And love.

  He loved Sela.

  Loved her smile and her laugh. Loved the way she cared for others and loved the way she made him feel alive.

  She swam close enough for him to grab her. She fastened her legs around his waist, put her hands on his shoulders. The ebb and flow of the ocean waves kept him on his toes.

  “You did it,” she said, the pride in her voice filling his heart, his soul, his being.

  “So did you.” Then he kissed her. Hot, hard, without fear. She kissed him back. Sweet sounds of abandon slipped from her lips. He dove his tongue inside her mouth.

  Her arms went around his neck, and she pressed her body tighter against him. Aw, hell. He wanted to thrust something besides his tongue inside her now. She wiggled. He grew painfully hard. Feeling the smile on her lips—knowing the power she had over him, no doubt—lifted the corners of his mouth and for a second they caught their breath. But only a second. Because he’d lost all control where she was concerned and his mouth captured hers again. His hands moved to her ass, molding her closer, positioning her just right to slide his length…

  They both groaned, but then she lifted her head and sucked in a deep breath.

  “I…” She paused, her lips trembling. Something new shone in her eyes. Affection? Love?

  “You?” He’d never let himself care enough about a woman to want to hear the words, but right now he wanted Sela to say she loved him.

  “I need to get back before I freeze to death.” She pushed off and splashed him in the face. “Race you.”

  Luke let her win. He let her have some space. The towels did little to stave off how cold they were, so they ran back to her apartment, clothes in hand, laughter the only sound falling from their lips.

  When they got to her building, Sela held her finger up to her mouth, signaling for him to be quiet. They took the stairs two at a time. She ushered him into the apartment first, shut the door, and turned. A smile bloomed across her face, prettier and naughtier than any he’d ever seen. His pulse jackknifed. His turn for a deep breath.

  “I need a hot shower.” She walked past him, dropped her towel and clothes, and looked over her shoulder. “You’re welcome to stay for as long as you’d like.”

  He dropped his towel and followed her.

  Chapter Twelve

  Sela leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on Luke’s cheek. “Come eat breakfast with me before I go to work,” she whispered.

  His eyes opened, but otherwise he stayed perfectly still lying on his side. The tanned skin of his shoulder stood out against her white sheets. She wanted to kiss him there, too, but that would lead to more kissing and more touching and more…everything.

  “You made me breakfast?” His raspy morning voice sounded way too good.

  “I…I did.” She stepped back from the bed and motioned with her finger for him to follow.

  A lazy, sexy smile curled his made-for-sin mouth. “Okay.”

  He looked picture perfect sitting at her tiny kitchen table in nothing but his black cotton boxers.

  “Omelets are my specialty,” she said, taking the seat across from him and cutting into her egg, spinach, and cheese creation. In truth, omelets were about the only thing she knew how to make. “Toast, too.” She passed him a piece.

  He nodded and put a forkful of omelet in his mouth. Her leg bounced. She pressed her hand to her knee to make it stop.

  “Not bad, Nurse Sullivan.”

  “Thanks.” What was her deal this morning? Why was she so nervous? Was it because last night when she’d suggested they skinny-dip it was to distract him from talk of Jane?

  Ding. Ding. Ding.

  He’d turned the tables when they’d gotten back to her apartment and distracted her all night with his hands and mouth and tongue and oh God, what if he read her next column? What if he realized he was “Joe” and she was in love with him?

  I love him. She’d almost let it spill out of her mouth last night before she’d caught herself. She didn’t want to scare him away with words she wasn’t sure he wanted to hear.

  And what did that mean for her career as a real single girl living in Cascade? She shook her head. She didn’t need to solve everything this instant. While getting dressed this morning she’d been decidedly confident about that—live in the moment, she’d told herself. Don’t push Luke away by telling him a) she wanted to have his babies and b) she wrote that “waste of newspaper space” in the Cascade Gazette and the single women of Cascade loved her—or rather Jane—for it.

  “What’s wrong?” Luke asked, breaking into her deliberations.

  “Nothing.” She glanced at the digital clock on the stove. “I just hadn’t realized how late it was. I need to get going,” she lied. She stood and grabbed her bag and coat. She’d clean everything up tonight. “I’ll catch you later.”

  “Wait.” He caught her around the waist. “Thanks for breakfast.” He kissed her. All soft and gentle. Like he cherished her.

  Yep. Definitely not going to blow this last week by telling him anything to push him away.

  “Sure,” she said and raced out the door. How had she let this happen? How had she let her heart get involved?

  At first she’d been lured by the vulnerable side he’d shared with her at the hospital. She’d defy any girl not to be smitten with that. Next had been the banter that turned from annoying to playful to flirtatious. The scorching looks across the room. He’d helped her be more adventurous, and she had helped him get over his accident. The con
nectivity between them had snapped her wariness and made her uncontrollably crazy about him.

  She opened her car door and climbed in. But the kicker was his apology and how he’d admitted to feelings for her, too.

  None of this made any difference, though, because it was all only temporary. He’d be gone next week, returning to his world travels and worldly women. He hadn’t said anything about their future because there was no future. They’d simply filled a void in each other’s lives while he was in town for Vanessa’s wedding. When the I do’s were done, so were they.

  A couple of hours later, she wore the heartbreaking reality of illness on her shoulders like bags of bricks. Slumped in her seat in the hospital cafeteria, she stared at the chicken noodle soup Georgette had thrust in front of her, barely able to slide it down her throat.

  “Don’t make me force-feed you,” Georgette said from across the table. “I hate doing that. Had enough patients in my day that needed spoon-feeding.”

  Sela wiped the back of her hand under her eye. “It’s not fair.”

  “You’re right. But the last thing that boy would want was his favorite nurse starving herself with grief.”

  “Does it ever get easier?” Liam’s passing this morning hurt worse than the others. Maybe because they’d bonded over soccer and jokes and ice cream. Or maybe because he’d been so mentally tough that she believed he’d beat the staph infection. But once it had spread to his bloodstream and then his lungs, his little body hadn’t been strong enough to fight.

  “No,” Georgette said, putting the spoon in Sela’s hand. “Not on the pediatric floor.”

  “I can’t get his mom’s sobs out of my head. How does a parent survive the loss of a child? It’s not supposed to work that way.” She forced herself to take a bite of the soup to appease Georgette.

  “No. It’s not.”

  “Sometimes I wonder what I was thinking choosing this occupation. I hate seeing what a life-threatening illness does to a family. I feel so helpless. And so often the parents blame themselves when there’s nothing they could have done differently.”

  Georgette put a hand on her forearm. “You’re doing this job because you’re full of compassion and cheerfulness and something else I’ve rarely seen in my sixty-plus years—accessibility. You’re friendly and easy to talk to, Sela, and trust me, that is the greatest gift you can give to someone grieving for a loved one.”

  Sela gulped. Liam’s mom had thanked her for her kindness and care, but the regard had been hard to swallow, since she too felt responsible for losing him.

  “Stop feeling guilty and believe what I just said,” Georgette admonished. “You think I don’t know what’s going on in that head of yours? I was a nurse for thirty years and trust me, the sooner you tuck it away, the better you and everyone around you will be. I know that sounds harsh, but you’ve got other patients relying on you. Now take five more bites of that soup and then get back upstairs and do what you do best. Help people.” Georgette patted her elbow and walked away, her kind words easing the knot in Sela’s stomach.

  As heartbreaking as it sometimes was, Sela loved working in the hospital. She might even love it more than writing her column.

  What she didn’t love was thinking about losing someone close to her. Until Luke had arrived, she’d played it safe with guys. She dated men who worked in offices and thought dinner and a movie was adventurous. Luke’s job put him in danger all the time. Reckless was his middle name.

  A few weeks ago he’d almost died.

  She’d fallen for her dream man but never understood the reality of the pain that could cause until now.

  …

  The doctor gave Luke the okay to do whatever he wanted. Not that Luke would have let a different report hold him back. But knowing his lungs were strong, his ribs repaired, his endurance almost at 100 percent, set his mind at ease.

  He left the doctor’s office and medical building and jogged across the parking lot to the hospital lobby. He texted Sela. Buy you a coffee in the cafeteria? I’m on my way there.

  Her reply came a minute later. Why are you here? Is everything okay?

  I’m suffering from a crush and need to see you to feel better. He walked across the lobby and took the elevator down one floor.

  Do not be cute with me.

  I’m fine. Clean bill of health. Let’s celebrate. He exited the elevator. With no patient rooms on this floor, the hallway stood quiet.

  I’m happy to hear that, but I’m not really in a celebratory mood. I’ll try and pop down if I can.

  He faltered and stopped midstride. What happened?

  Lost Liam today.

  If he knew Sela like he thought he did, this devastated her. His throat grew thick, and he couldn’t swallow. He leaned against the wall, staring at the floor. That kind of loss made his injury seem juvenile.

  I’ll wait for as long as it takes, he texted back.

  She didn’t make him wait long. “What are you doing in the hallway?” Her dull eyes and sallow complexion wrenched his insides like a trail of twisted metal across a roadway.

  “Seemed like a good spot.” He took her in his arms.

  She hugged him back, her body gradually relaxing against his, tension leaving her shoulders, her chin burrowing into the crux of his neck. “You smell good,” she said.

  “You feel good.”

  “On the outside.” She stepped back and looked up at him. “I’m not the best company at the moment, but I’m glad you waited for me.”

  “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”

  A middle-age couple passed by. A handful of hospital employees in scrubs. They nodded to Sela, but she gave only a cursory smile in return.

  So unlike the woman he’d come to know. Her defenses were up, and he wanted to be the one to take away her troubles. “Come with me.” He took her hand and led her back to the lobby and out the sliding glass doors into the late-afternoon sunshine. Away from the antiseptic interior of the hospital, the cool spring air offered a chance to take a refreshing, deep breath. He sat down with her on a bench in the tiny rose garden off the main entrance.

  They filled the wood slatted seat hip to hip. She laid her head on his shoulder. “I can’t stay out here long,” she said.

  Luke cleared his throat. He didn’t normally give speeches, but he couldn’t stop the pull to say some things to her. “I know you’re hurting right now and nothing I say will make much difference, but I thought you should know you live more consciously than anyone I know, and I can guarantee that made Liam’s family grateful.”

  Sela twisted to look at him. “What are you talking about?”

  He turned, too, and held her hand. “You live with an awareness that most people don’t. This connectedness with the things and people that exist around you. You don’t just go through the motions. You resonate compassion and unconditional love.”

  A tear rolled down her cheek. Luke brushed it away with his thumb. “You can’t keep being nice to me like this.”

  “I’m a nice guy.”

  “Who thrives on danger and makes his living putting himself in high-risk situations.”

  Ahh. Now he understood the watchful way she looked at him, the slack in her hand. He and Liam had become a part of her life at the same time and now Liam was gone.

  Goddamn, he was selfish. He hadn’t considered how his job might affect her. Hell, he hadn’t thought one ounce of this thing through. When the L word had popped into his head last night, he hadn’t exactly been surprised. Every time he was with her, he appreciated his life more than the day before. But that didn’t give him the right to add those deep grooves to her forehead or muddy the brightness in her eyes.

  For her sake, he needed to take a step back. The last thing he’d ever wanted to do was cause her any more pain. The Kissing Booth had been more than enough.

  “It’s who I am, Sela. But when I’m out in the field, I’m part of a team and we take every safety precaution necessary.”

  She n
odded.

  His cell phone rang. He ignored it, too caught up in her long, damp eyelashes to move. Say something, Sela. Tell me you want me to take different kinds of pictures. Hell, tell me you want me to stay.

  “Go ahead and answer it. I need to get back.” She stood with a weak smile that took his feelings for her and magnified them times a thousand. It killed him to leave her so upset.

  He glanced at his phone. The Gazette. He’d been playing phone tag with the editorial director. The paper had some follow-up questions for another piece they were running tomorrow. “You sure?”

  “I’m sure.” She kissed his cheek and walked away.

  …

  “You are breathtaking,” Sela said to Vanessa as her best friend stood on the platform in the bridal shop. “Hayden is going to swallow his tongue.”

  Vanessa stared into the full-length mirror. The simple but sexy chiffon, short-sleeve wedding gown made her look like a princess.

  Paula sniffled and patted the corner of her eye with a tissue.

  “Mom, do not cry,” Erin said. “If you cry, we’ll all start, and you know how much I hate crying.”

  “I can’t help it. My daughter’s getting married this weekend.”

  Sela put her arm around Paula. “How about a cinnamon scone from Crem’s? My treat.”

  “I’d love to, but I need to dash,” Paula said. “One last meeting with the caterer.” She squeezed Sela and blew kisses to Vanessa and Erin. “Love you, girls.”

  “Love you, too,” Vanessa and Erin said at the same time.

  Paula waved good-bye as Vanessa stepped into the dressing room to get changed.

  Sela ran her hand along the dresses lined up against the boutique’s wall. She’d never given much thought to the style she’d like to wear one day, but this morning she smiled at the beaded trims on several of the gowns.

  “You’ve been looking way too happy lately,” Erin said, bumping her shoulder. “And my brother’s been mysteriously absent from home. Hmm. I wonder if there’s a correlation.”

  “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Sela hadn’t spoken to Luke since yesterday afternoon at the hospital.