Love is Blind

by Shayna B

  A few minutes later, she came in. I think she was about a year or two younger than me, but it was hard to tell for sure. She was a few inches taller than me and she was thin and willowy. Her dark, honey blonde hair hung just past her shoulders and her pretty blue eyes were currently looking at me curiously. I smiled at her from my seat. “Hi, I’m Hailey.”

  Her eyes widened briefly and she flicked a glance at Blake quickly. “I’m Sophie.”

  “Blake and I are going to be doing a project together and he’s being a stubborn ass about giving me his number so we can set up a time to get together. Would you mind giving it to me?”

  “We’re not doing the project together,” Blake snapped.

  I ignored him and continued to look at Sophie. “Like I said, he’s being a stubborn ass.”

  Sophie looked between the two of us and then a slow smile spread across her lips. “Sure, I’ll give it to you.”

  Blake’s head whipped in her direction. “Sophie!”

  “What?”

  “I don’t want to do the project with her!”

  She rolled her eyes and held out a hand to me. “Give me your phone and I’ll program the number into it. You can text him if you want; he has an app that reads them out loud for him.”

  I grinned and handed her my phone, despite Blake’s cursing beside me. “Thanks, I appreciate it.”

  “Damn it Hailey, I said I’m not doing the stupid project with you! Stop treating me like a child who has no say in what happens,” Blake spat out.

  “If you don’t want me to treat you like a child, then stop acting like one,” I snapped back. “Jesus, you’re throwing a bloody temper tantrum like a five year old would.”

  Sophie chuckled and desperately tried to turn it into a cough when Blake turned in her direction again. “She’s got a point, cuz. You are acting like a bratty child.”

  “You’re related to him?” I asked her. “I suddenly have a lot of sympathy for you.”

  “Hailey, I think you and I are going to be good friends,” she told me and then handed me my phone back. “I put my number in there as well so when he ignores you, you can call me and set up a time to come over.”

  “Sounds like a plan to me.” I got to my feet and grabbed my bag. “It was nice meeting you, Sophie. I’ll see you later Blake.” Without waiting for a reply, I walked out of the room and headed to my math class. David and Rachel were already there and they were looking at me curiously when I sat down. “What?”

  Rachel tilted her head to the side. “Did you really tell a teacher that you were going to make Blake Adams do a project with you?”

  My jaw dropped as I stared at them. “How the hell did you hear about that?”

  David put his elbows on his desk and leaned forward. “Anything to do with Blake is kind of big news around this school. I didn’t realize that you knew him.”

  My brows furrowed as I looked between them. “Why is it big news? And I only have the one class with him.”

  “I grew up with Blake,” David said. “We were actually best friends up until two years ago. He was the school golden boy; popular, smart, good at sports. But after his accident, everything changed. I tried to help him become the person he was before, but he kept pushing me away.”

  “Wait, so he wasn’t always blind?”

  “Nope. He went blind two years ago and turned into the guy you see now. He pushed everyone away and stopped participating in anything. He’s a loner now and only talks to his cousin, Sophie. And I think he only talks to her because he lives with her and her mom.”

  “Where are his parents?”

  “They bailed after they found out that he was going to be blind for the rest of his life. His dad is in politics and apparently having a son that isn’t perfect doesn’t help with his public persona or something. They poured a ton of money into the school so that he could stay here and then they left him with his mom’s sister.”

  The bell rang, cutting off any further conversation. I didn’t pay attention to the teacher at all during the class, because my mind was racing with everything that I had just learned. Blake’s attitude made a little more sense to me now. His parents had abandoned him, which probably made him feel like he was no longer worthy of their love. In response to that, he now lashed out at everyone around him and kept himself closed off. I understood how that felt, since I’d done the same thing nine months ago. But I was lucky, because I had two wonderful people in my life who had pulled me out of my own despair and forced me to start living again. Maybe now I could return that favour by helping Blake, though I had a feeling it wouldn’t be an easy task.

  That afternoon, I brought my Ipod to the park with me. I saw Blake at his bench so I went and sat beside him. Instead of saying anything, I grabbed his hand and placed one of the ear buds into it. I put the other one in my ear and waited patiently while he obviously debated on whether or not to put his in his ear or not. Finally he gave in and put it in. I flicked through my Ipod until I found the playlist that I’d made shortly after my accident and started it up. The songs were mainly about overcoming whatever life threw at you, and I’d found listening to them during some of my more intense therapy sessions had helped.

  After twenty minutes Blake pulled his ear bud out so I paused the music and turned to him. He didn’t say anything for a few minutes but then he tilted his head in my direction. “I guess I can do the project with you.”

  I couldn’t help but smile at his words. “Aww, I’m flattered.”

  He snorted and shook his head. “You’re kind of strange.”

  I shrugged. “I’ve been called worse.” I reached down and scratched Tonto’s head. “Want to meet my dog?”

  “I guess.”

  I gave Tonto the command that let him know he was allowed to greet Blake. “This is Tonto, my Yellow Lab. I’ve had him for three years now.”

  Blake was frowning as he patted Tonto’s head. “Why do you have a service dog?”

  I raised my brows at that. “What makes you think he’s a service dog?”

  “The command you just gave him is the same one that I give Abby when she’s allowed to meet people.” He gestured to his dog, who was still lying at his feet. “It’s something all the dogs from Aberfoyle Kennels learn, and I know it’s unique to them.”

  “Your dog’s name is Abby?” I asked, avoiding his original question.

  “Yeah, I’ve had her for a year and a half.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “You haven’t answered my question yet.”

  “I didn’t get Tonto from Aberfoyle Kennels,” I told him, which was the truth.

  “He still knows service commands.”

  “So?”

  “So why do you have a dog that is trained as a service dog?” He was clearly becoming a little annoyed at my evasiveness.

  “He’s not actually a service dog.”

  Blake sighed deeply. “You’re not going to give me a straight answer, are you?”

  I pondered it for a moment. “No, I don’t think I am; at least not right now.”

  “Fine, but can you answer something else for me?”

  “Depends on what it is.”

  “Is the reason you have a dog that knows service commands the same reason you treat me like a normal person?”

  “How else am I supposed to treat you? Like an alien?”

  He groaned and let his head fall back on the bench. “Did you know that talking to you can be kind of frustrating?”

  “Yup,” I replied with a smile. “But in answer to your question, maybe it is. I know what it’s like to go through something horrible and feel like the world is against you. I was lucky enough to have people help me get through it.”

  He instantly scowled. “You don’t know anything about me.”

  “I know more than you might think; but even if I didn’t, it doesn’t take a genius to realize that you got dealt a crappy hand. Life sucks sometimes but how you handle it is what defines you as a person. I’ve come a long way from where I was les
s than a year ago, but I still have problems. The difference between us is that I’ve decided to start living again.”

  “I don’t know what problems you had or have, but they can’t be as bad as mine. You’re not going through life with a disability like I am.”

  I let out a disappointed breath. “That’s probably one of the most ignorant things I’ve ever heard. You of all people should know that not all disabilities can be seen. Don’t automatically assume that your life is harder than everyone else’s.” I stood up and put my Ipod in my pocket. “See you later Blake.” Without looking back, Tonto and I headed for home.

  Chapter six

  I was still a little ticked at Blake’s comment the day before when I sat beside him in class the next day. I understood that he’d had a rough couple of years, but assuming that your life was worse than everyone else’s pissed me off. Even in my darkest moments I’d never thought that I had been dealt the worst possible hand. I’d understood that no matter what had happened to me, there was someone who had it worse.

  I tapped my fingers restlessly on the desk in front of me while I waited for the teacher to show up. Blake surprised me by reaching forward and laying his hand on mine briefly, effectively stilling my fingers. I turned to him as he removed his hand and he sighed quietly before speaking. “You know, I’m blind.”

  That definitely wasn’t what I had been expecting him to say. “What’s your point?”

  “Since I’m blind, you shouldn’t get mad when I don’t see things other people can see.”

  “The fact that you’re blind isn’t an excuse for being an ignorant ass.”

  “It’s not?”

  I chuckled a little and shook my head. “No, it’s not.” I put my elbows on the desk and propped my chin on my hand. “Look, I’m not saying that what you went through isn’t horrible. But you aren’t the only one who’s had crap thrown at them. You need to decide if you want to continue going through life the way you have been, or if you want to try and change. No one can make that choice for you.”

  “What if I decide to keep going the way I have been?”

  “Then I feel sorry for you. Life’s full of too many wonders to waste it wallowing in misery. Do you want to just exist? Or do you want to actually live?”

  He ran his hand through his hair and then shook his head. “This conversation is too heavy for this time of the day.”

  I nodded in agreement. “You’re probably right; plus, Mr. White just walked in. We can continue discussing this later if you want.”

  “I’ll think about it.”

  “I have one question for you before I turn into an attentive student.”

  “What is it?”

  “Do you want me to start walking you to your second period class? That way you don’t have to wait until Sophie gets here to leave.”

  He thought about it for a moment before nodding. “Yeah, okay. I don’t like being a burden to her anyways.”

  I didn’t answer him, because I was pretty sure Sophie didn’t consider him a burden. But I was also pretty sure that Blake wouldn’t listen to me if I told him that right now. It seemed to me that he thought of himself as a burden, and that likely wouldn’t change right away.

  When the class was over, we waited for Sophie to get there so we could inform her of the new arrangement. She was more than a little surprised, but she also seemed happy that Blake had agreed to let me help him. “Why don’t you come with us now, Hailey? I’ll show you where his class is and which seat is his.”

  I agreed and Blake got to his feet. I stood up next to him and was mildly surprised at how tall he actually was. I’d never stood beside him in the past; anytime we met he was sitting down. When I’d seen him walking with Abby he’d been too far away for me to really notice how tall he was and when I’d seen him next to Sophie the height difference hadn’t seemed so drastic. “I’m going to get a sore neck looking up at you,” I grumbled.

  He smiled. Actually full out smiled and the effect it had on his features was amazing. He seemed more approachable and I could suddenly see how it was that he’d been so popular before his accident. “Let me guess; you’re short?”

  I wrinkled my nose at him. “I’m not short; I’m average size for a woman.”

  “You keep telling yourself that.” He placed his hand on Sophie’s shoulder and the three of us walked out of the room. I noticed as we walked that people seemed to automatically move to the sides when we got close to them, though they stared at us, and I wondered why that was.

  Sophie must have sensed my curiosity because she turned to smile a little sadly at me. “They avoid Blake because he’s got a pretty nasty temper. Most of them have figured out that staying out of his way is the easiest thing to do.”

  When I saw another small group of people staring at us, I frowned. “I get that, but why are so many of them looking at us?”

  “Because no one ever walks with us,” she explained.

  “Oh. I guess that makes sense.”

  We finished walking to Blake’s class in silence. Sophie showed me where he sat and then the two of us left him in there. Once back in the hallway, she turned to me. “I don’t know what’s going on between you and Blake, but please keep doing it. This is the most… interested I’ve seen him since he went blind.”

  “Interested in what?”

  “Life,” she replied simply. “I’ll talk to you later.”

  I went to my Math class and took my regular seat beside Rachel. When I saw her looking at me with wide eyes, I sighed. “You somehow know that I walked with Blake and his cousin through the hall, don’t you?”

  She nodded. “Why were you walking with them?”

  “Since Blake is in my first period class, I offered to start walking him to his second class. That way he doesn’t have to wait there for Sophie.”

  “But he never lets anyone else help him.”

  I frowned. “What do you mean?”

  “I mean that other people have offered to walk him to classes and he always said no. Why is he letting you do it?”

  I blinked a few times and then shrugged. “I have no idea.”

  Rachel chewed on her lower lip for a moment and then shrugged as well. “Oh well, I guess only time will tell.”

  I agreed and then David came into the room, effectively distracting Rachel from our conversation. Throughout the class I pondered why Blake was letting me help him when he’d obviously never wanted anyone else around him.

  When I got to the park later that afternoon, I walked over to Blake and stood in front of him. “Give me your hand.”

  He tilted his head up. “Why?”

  “Because we’re going to do something. Arguing with me won’t get you anywhere, so it’ll just be easier if you do as I ask.”

  He mumbled something under his breath, but reluctantly held out his hand. I grabbed it and pulled lightly until he got to his feet. Abby stood up when Blake commanded her to follow and both she and Tonto walked with us as I led Blake over to the empty swings and turned him around. Taking the hand I still held, I placed it on one of the chains. “Sit,” I ordered.

  He raised his eyebrows. “A swing? You want me to sit on the swing?”

  “No, I want you to propose to it,” I replied sarcastically. “Of course I want you to sit on it.”

  He stood for another moment before slowly lowering himself onto it. I sat on the one next to him and pushed off with my legs. I looked over at Blake and saw that he was just sitting there, unmoving. I let out a breath of exasperation. “Come on Blake, it won’t kill you to have a little fun. When’s the last time you were on a swing?”

  “I can’t remember,” he muttered.

  “Exactly, so let’s have a little fun. What’s the point in being alive if you can’t act like a kid sometimes?”

  He deliberated for another moment before pushing off with his legs. We started swinging leisurely side by side and I watched as the tension that always seemed to be in him seemed to flow away.

 
I don’t know how long we stayed on the swings, but it was fun and Blake was smiling fully by the time we finally stopped, making it the second time I’d seen him smile. When we slowed to a stop, Blake turned his head in my direction. “Thanks. It’s been awhile since I’ve done anything like that.”

  “You’re welcome. Sometimes you have to take a moment and just enjoy the little things in life. I’ve gotten pretty good at doing that lately.”

  He sat quietly for a moment. “What happened to you, Hailey?” he asked quietly.

  I sighed and shook my head. “That’s not something I’m ready to get into yet. I will tell you that for two months of my life, I wished I wasn’t alive. I was lucky that I had people in my life to show me that I had things still worth living for.”

  “How did they show you?”

  “By doing things like this,” I said. “They forced me do the things I used to enjoy doing, even though at first I didn’t want to. They refused to allow me to wallow in misery. I hated them sometimes, but ultimately they saved my life and now I couldn’t be more grateful to them.”

  “Is that what you’re trying to do with me?”

  “That depends, I guess. Do you think your life is worth saving?”

  He was silent for so long that I didn’t think he was going to answer. “Maybe.”

  “Maybe is better than a no. I want to try and help you, Blake, but the choice is ultimately yours.”

  “Why do you want to help me?”

  “Why shouldn’t I want to?”

  “Because you don’t know me.”

  “So?”

  “Normal people don’t usually try and help people they don’t know.”

  “I’ve never claimed to be normal. Why are you surprised that I want to be your friend?”

  “Because no one else has tried to be my friend in almost two years,” he stated bluntly.