A Mother to Love (Love Inspired)

by Gail Gaymer Martin

  He studied her a moment and seemed to want to ask a question, but he didn’t.

  “Rick, you’re not alone.”

  He gave her shoulder a squeeze.

  She turned to him, captured by the look in his eyes. “You’ve started me thinking about my faltering faith. Seeing your actions are putting cracks in my armor. I can’t thank you enough. And Carly’s opened doors for me, too, Rick. She’s a lovely child despite all the problems you’ve faced with your marriage. She’s a wise child, and she’s doing fine. Don’t belittle what you’ve done. You’re a wonderful father.”

  His finger brushed her jawline while her heartbeat skittered through her.

  She caught her breath. “Love doesn’t mean entertaining a child. It means loving them. You show Carly respect and give her protection and security. You guide her, and you do what you know how to do. Buy pizza and read her books. What’s better?”

  “The park?” His expression softened, and he shook his head. “You’ve been an amazing teacher to me as well as Carly, Angie. Who would have known this could happen.” Rick’s eyes captured hers again. He leaned closer and kissed her cheek.

  Her heart soared. Though she longed to dismiss the amazing emotion, her feelings only deepened. She needed to sort her thoughts, her priorities, her goals.

  She needed time, period—time to see what life had in store. Rick would say what God had in store, and maybe there was something to that. To believe. It had been a long time. With belief came hope, and that was what she had been missing.

  Though she longed to kiss him back, she only squeezed his hand. “I suppose we should move closer before Carly feels abandoned.”

  He shook his head. “Look at her. She’s having a ball.” Nonetheless, he rose and they wandered back to the tower, his hand brushing hers and her fingers itching to weave through his and hang on forever.

  * * *

  On Monday evening Rick’s phone starting ringing before he could prepare his dinner. When he heard it, an edgy feeling crept through him. He checked the caller ID and understood why: Glenda. He released a stream of air and grasped the receiver. “What’s up, Glenda?”

  Silence hung on the line a second. “I’m curious, Rick. Since Carly arrived home from after-school day care, I’ve heard nothing but Angie this and Angie that. What’s going on?”

  His lungs deflated. His head rocked on his shoulders as he struggled to find words that weren’t bitter. “Nothing’s going on.”

  “Really?”

  Her brusque tone signaled his need to tread lightly. He should have expected it. Carly seemed captivated by Angie’s fun-loving nature, and Carly seemed to know her feelings were reciprocated. But how could he explain it to Glenda?

  Or did he need to?

  “Rick? Are you there?”

  “Yes. I’m trying to figure out what you want to know, Glenda. Ask me something I can answer.”

  “All right, who’s Angie? And even more, why is Carly spending so much time with her. Is she your babysitter?”

  “I’ve mentioned Angie to you before. I’m sure. She’s a coworker who I’ve been helping with her move.”

  “How long does it take to move?”

  “Glenda, please. Angie has been a friend for a long time. Yes, we’re coworkers, and you know the company policy. We are only friends. She suggested I bring Carly over, and we took her to Bentley Park. They have swings and slides. That was our exciting day.” He winced, admitting to himself it had been an amazing day.

  “I don’t want Carly exposed to any of your carousing.”

  He blew out another stream of air and rolled his eyes. “Have you known me to carouse, Glenda? And to be honest, you sound jealous.”

  “Jealous.” Her pitch raised twenty decibels. “What are you talking about?”

  “That’s what I’ve been asking myself. What are you talking about? Glenda, please. Let’s not grill each other for no reason. I understand. You want Carly in good hands, and she couldn’t be in better. I’m her dad. I adore her just as you do. I have friends as you do. I occasionally see friends, and I’m sure you do, too. I don’t call you every evening to find out who you talked with and what Carly was doing at the time. I don’t accuse you of carousing if you spend time with someone and have fun. Please give me that respect.”

  “You always blow things out of proportion, Rick. All I want to know is that Carly is with you. That you’re raising her and not dumping her off with someone else while you do your own thing.”

  “Never fear, Glenda. When I’m with Carly, she is my priority. I know you feel the same way.”

  He waited, listening, hoping for an apology, but none came.

  “I have Carly next weekend, so enjoy yourself, Rick. I have some fun plans for Carly myself.”

  Now he understood. Angie was competition. “I’m glad. Carly loves having fun. If that’s all, then, I’d like to eat dinner.”

  “That’s all.” She hung up.

  He stared into space, hoping to figure out what he could do to smooth things over with Glenda. She had always been a bit suspicious, and he knew why. She’d been dumped by a louse before she’d met him. And now, as he thought about it, he probably had been her rebound solution, but it had gone too far. Marriage. He’d loved her. Glenda was bright and attractive, though a sense of humor wasn’t her strong point. She’d been more forward and pointed in her opinions.

  He pulled himself from the phone call and headed for the kitchen for something to eat. He pulled out a frozen dinner, one of those healthy ones with small portions, but for now that would be enough. After checking the directions, he readied the container and popped it into the microwave. Then he put a K-Cup of strong French coffee in the brewer.

  He sank onto a kitchen chair and reviewed the weekend. The feeling of being a couple permeated his thoughts. Though his feelings might be unwise, he had little control over his heart. Angie had always been special to him. She’d listened to his tale of woe and yet had never come on to him as some women had when they’d learned his marriage was falling apart. He’d been discreet, but information had leaked out no matter how careful he’d been.

  Angie had been different. She’d listened and said little. Yet he sensed she cared. On occasion she would offer suggestions, providing ideas to work out his differences with Glenda and showing compassion when she watched his marriage fail. Wise. She’d been that way from the beginning, so why did her wisdom with Carly surprise him?

  And what now? He’d let his feelings slip at the park. He’d kissed her. Only her cheek, but he’d seen in her eyes that she’d understood. She’d sensed his feelings. If only he could sense hers.

  The microwave beeped, but he didn’t move.

  * * *

  Angie sank onto the chair and unfolded the top of her lunch bag, her mind reviewing the awkward conversation with her mother. Again. No matter how she tried to sway the conversation, her mom veered it back to meeting the new man in her life.

  Rick had become the man in her life but not as her mother suspected. Calling him a new man wasn’t accurate. They’d been friends too long for that, but his offer to help with the move had made all the difference. They’d had time to really talk and laugh without the scrutiny of their fellow coworkers. He’d entered into her life as a friend and nothing more. His presence had grown beyond her expectations, beyond her imagination even. Now if she missed seeing him for one day, his absence caused her to feel as if she’d lost part of herself. Sometimes the feeling overwhelmed her.

  Her mind in a haze, she looked up when she heard the lunchroom’s door open. Rick strode in. He waved and headed for the refrigerator. She responded, but he seemed on a mission or distracted.

  Only a day had passed, but it was strange how she had missed him. She’d seen little of him yesterday. She’d been involved in a meeting that had carried ove
r her lunch break and thrown off her schedule. And Rick didn’t always work in her area. Yesterday he’d probably been in a different department.

  Rick dropped his lunch bag on the table and pulled out a chair. When he sat, he gave her a half smile. Stress seeped into the creases of his face. “Didn’t get a chance to talk yesterday, did we?”

  She shook her head, studying his face. “Is everything okay?”

  Instead of responding, he flinched as if he preferred not to talk about it.

  She shook her head. “So, you heard from Glenda?”

  An audible sigh escaped him before he lifted his gaze. “You read me too well, Ang.”

  “What’s going on? I hope it’s not Carly. Is she sick?”

  “No, she’s great actually. She came home from school on Monday, bubbling about all the fun she had with Angie. She told her mom about the park, I’m sure, although Glenda didn’t talk about that.”

  Angie’s heart compressed seeing Rick’s misery. “Then what was it?”

  “Apparently you.”

  “Me?” Her hand flew to her chest, startled at his answer. “Why? Did I do something wrong?”

  “You know better than that, but I asked myself the same question for a fleeting moment and then realized that Glenda’s jealous of you.”

  “Jealous? That doesn’t make sense. Or does it?” She bit her lip. “You’ve mentioned she’s a busy woman, works long hours and then comes home to Carly. I can picture her wanting time for herself but she can’t if she’s to spend time with a five-year-old.” She pictured her in Glenda’s shoes, but could only imagine the joy she would feel having Carly running into her arms and giving her a hug. Pure joy.

  “I think you understand.”

  She nodded. “I can’t relate to that no matter what, but I know Glenda and I are very different people. My ability to love is on the other end of the spectrum.”

  “You couldn’t be more accurate.”

  As he shared the details of the conversation, she recognized Glenda’s resentfulness, but then, could she blame her? A mother, no matter how she interacted with her child, wanted to be important in the child’s life. What mother wanted to hear her child extolling the virtues of another woman and the fun she had with her? “How can you stop Carly from telling her mom what she does with you? It isn’t right to ask her and, knowing Carly, she loves to talk about her experiences and wants her mom to be proud of what she’s learned. I don’t see an answer.”

  “I don’t see one, either.” He unwrapped his sandwich and took a bite.

  A cold feeling ran through her veins. “Rick.” Her pulse hitched as her solutions grew.

  His worry-filled eyes sought hers. “What are you thinking?”

  Shaking her head, she managed to steady her voice. “It might be best to lay low awhile. You’ve had fun seeing what Carly enjoys. Maybe for a few weeks Carly’s weekends with you should be that. You and Carly.” She closed her eyes a moment. “I think that could alleviate Glenda’s anxiety. At least, I hope it would.”

  As her comment sank in, his face washed of color. “But...” He drew in a breath. “Angie, it’s not only Carly that’s having a good time. I hope you know that. I’m enjoying life far more than I have in years. Who knew what connection we would have away from the firm?”

  His comment washed over her. She’d never guessed the difference it would make having him as a personal friend and not just a friendly coworker. She searched his eyes. “Should we try it for a while?”

  His shoulders lifted and lowered again. “Let me think about it. But I can see where you’re coming from. I don’t need anything to put barricades between Glenda and me. It’s hard on Carly. She senses it. The child’s too intuitive.”

  Angie eyed her watch. “I should get back. I’m behind. Yesterday’s meeting took a toll on my productivity.”

  He gave a single head nod. “Before you go, give me a brief summary of what’s bugging you. Is it my situation? I don’t think so. I noticed your look when I came in here.”

  She covered her face with her hands, wishing she could monitor her expressions. They seemed to reveal her concerns. “Nothing new. My mom called again. She insists she meet you, and she suggested this weekend. I tried to wiggle out of it, but I’m about ready to be honest. Maybe she’ll understand that I don’t want to meet the nice guy who loves dogs or the bird-watcher who is shy but sweet. You have enough on your plate, Rick. I’ll deal with it.”

  He held up his hand. “Wait a minute. We’ve gone out together with Carly. Isn’t that a date? We wouldn’t be adding to the lie.”

  Lie? “Can we call it being evasive? That sounds so much better.”

  Rick’s face brightened more than it had since he’d arrived. “You can call it anything you want. What do you say? I don’t have Carly this weekend, and I’d be happy to meet your mother.”

  “First, let’s face facts. Talking of exaggeration, I don’t think going to a park or a garden nursery is a date, so...”

  “Then I have a solution.”

  His spirited tone caught her interest. “Okay, let’s hear it.” She couldn’t help but grin.

  “I read in the church bulletin last Sunday they’re having an old-fashioned ice cream social on the church property with a few local praise bands as entertainment. Ours is great. Carly bounces to the music, and I do admit I’ve been known to tap my toe.”

  A laugh burst from her. “Not the old telltale toe-tapping.”

  He joined her, yet his expression let her know he was waiting for her answer.

  “A date or not, that sounds like fun, and who can pass up ice cream?”

  “With hot fudge, peanuts, whipped cream and a cherry on top.”

  She rose and slipped her chair against the table. “It’s a date.” Her heart in her throat, she hurried from the room and faced the truth. She had once again ignored her own warnings. What had happened to the idea of needing time?

  Words spilled into her mind and she tried to sort them—something she’d read in a college lit class. The seventeenth-century essayist’s quote had intrigued her then. Now it had meaning. Time, which strengthens friendship, weakens love. A chill prickled her spine.

  Time. Did she really need it?

  Chapter Five

  Rick pulled two lawn chairs from the trunk and scanned the church lawn for a good place to watch the program. “How about there?” He motioned toward an open space not too far from the temporary bandstand.

  “It looks okay to me,” Angie said.

  He maneuvered the chairs in one hand and Angie grabbed the small cooler bag. With his free hand, he guided Angie through the already crowded area. As they walked, he nodded to a few people he knew. He should have stopped to introduce Angie, but he’d failed to find the right words. “This is Angie, a coworker.” She seemed so much more than that. “This is my friend Angie.” But she’d become more than a friend. “My good friend Angie.” Better. “I’d like you to meet Angie, the woman I’d like to spend my life—” His mind closed down, startled at the random thought that nonetheless felt real.

  “Here we go.” He propped a canvas chair against his leg while he unfolded the other and then finished the job. “Take this seat. It has a cup holder.” She settled into it, and he took the cooler bag, set it on the ground beside him and flipped open the lid. “Pop? Cola or ginger ale? I think that’s one you like.”

  She grinned. “Good memory. I rarely have soft drinks, but Vernors ginger ale is my favorite.”

  He popped open the can. “I have a paper cup in here.”

  “No need.” She grinned. “This is fine.”

  He opened a cola and sank against the canvas chair back. “Are we set up for Sunday?”

  “Royally.” She rolled her eyes. “You’re invited to dinner. I’m sure it will be a family event. My sister, Conn
ie, wouldn’t miss this.”

  Though he’d volunteered, he began questioning his wisdom. “You don’t think they’re expecting a wedding date, do you?” He managed a chuckle although his pulse did a skip. Wedding. It sounded wonderful, but the idea had yet to be anything more than a fantasy.

  “You never know.” She drew up her shoulders. “Talk in circles. That’s what I do.”

  The first band began to set up onstage, and he hoped Angie would enjoy the music. It might encourage her to attend worship with him. Images billowed in his memory—Angie laughing at Carly’s antics, Angie teaching her how to set a table, Angie hugging her with love in her eyes.

  His chest constricted as each obstacle knocked him back. If anything good happened between them, he had to face his employers, Glenda and his attitude about being a mediocre father.

  “You’re thoughtful.”

  He raised his head and looked into Angie’s eyes. “Sorry. My mind took off without me.”

  She chuckled and rested her hand on his. “We all have those strange moments.”

  “Hello, everyone! Welcome to our ice cream social and praise-o-rama.”

  The young man’s voice belted over the speaker, and conversations faded.

  “If you know the words to the songs, join in. If not, by the end of the song, you should know the chorus. If you’re ready, let’s sing the Lord’s praises.”

  Applause echoed across the landscape as they began. “Let everything that has breath praise the Lord.” When the audience picked up the melody and joined in, Angie followed. Her clear voice touched him, and gooseflesh bristled on his arms.

  He gave her a fleeting smile and was immediately sorry since she softened her voice. Rick leaned closer. “I love hearing you.” He joined in the praises with I will worship you, I will worship... The words lifted him higher and he soared when Angie joined in the final praises.