Borrowed Heart

by Linda Lamberson

  “Teddy, look at my watch—the Incident Timer.” I practically shoved my watch in his face. “It’s freaking out. I think my charge is in real danger, but I don’t know what’s going on. Can you come down there with me so you can help me figure it out? Please? I don’t want to leave him unguarded any longer than I already have.”

  “Sugar, for you I’d visit the moon!” Teddy smiled.

  “Can we do that?” I asked in disbelief, momentarily allowing myself to get sidetracked.

  “Bo Peep, there’s so much you have yet to learn.” Teddy sighed exaggeratedly and gave me a hardy pat on the back. “Take the lead, honey. Let’s go find your sheep.”

  We arrived on Quinn’s rooftop and materialized.

  “Teddy, wait right here a minute. I’m going to go check on Quinn.”

  “Spoken like a true Shepherd.” Teddy chuckled.

  I teleported myself into Quinn’s apartment, but remained invisible. True to his word, Quinn was taking it easy. He was snacking on some chips while watching TV.

  “Teddy, thanks for coming down here with me,” I said when I returned. “I hate to bother you with all of this.”

  “Anytime, love. Anytime … Nice view,” he noted, nodding towards the skyline when I returned. “But I’m more partial to the great outdoors.”

  “Yeah, there’s nothing like a big hole in the ground to make you feel right at home,” I teased.

  “Hey, now. Don’t go poking fun at one of the world’s natural wonders.” Teddy pretended to be upset with me, but it wasn’t long before a smile crept across his face.

  So … let’s take a look at this here watch of yours, darlin.’” He picked up my wrist and inspected it. “Hmm. Pretty interesting. When was the next Incident scheduled to occur, you know, before it started spinning out of control?”

  “Late November of this year,” I responded anxiously.

  “Hmm.” Teddy looked at his watch and did the mental calculations. “Okay, so that was still over four months away. I must say, it’s very strange that your watch should react this way. Did anything else happen in conjunction with your watch going wacky?”

  My mind replayed the events of the evening just minutes before my watch acted up. The kiss popped into my head, and I was relieved Teddy couldn’t read my mind. Leaving that part out, I told him about the chest spasms and my concerns regarding the same.

  Teddy assured me that the Time Keeper was running like a well-oiled machine. He also explained that, while unusual, it was possible that Quinn had a heart arrhythmia but didn’t feel it because it was so minor. He added that our heightened senses and our ability to diagnose and heal injuries and illnesses made us much more sensitive to the human condition. That said, because the arrhythmia happened so close in time to my so-called “watch malfunction,” Teddy wasn’t ready to write them off as totally unrelated random acts of chance.

  “Bo Peep, I don’t know what to say to reassure you. Petey’s the expert in this area—not me. But it seems to me that we can’t predict when your sheep’s next Incident will occur with any degree of certainty right now. So my advice to you would be to stick to him like glue. Never let him out of your sight—not even for a minute. And stay on your toes. Always be aware of your surroundings. And be prepared for anything. Any sign of possible danger, you get your sheep back home to pasture. Capiche?”

  “Capiche.” Teddy’s words did reassure me. There was something I could still do—if I stayed close to Quinn, I had a good chance of being able to protect him. “Thanks, Teddy. You’re the best!” I threw my arms around him and gave him a big hug.

  “Like I said, any time, little lady.” Teddy returned the hug, lifting me clear off my feet. When he put me down, he looked at me seriously. “Eve, I think it’s safe to say that there’s something very strange going on here with your guy. I don’t know what’s going to happen—or when—but I can tell you that this is not the usual way our assignments work.”

  “I’m beginning to realize that,” I agreed.

  Teddy hugged me one more time and then left. I stood there for a moment, thinking about what he had said. I looked at my watch again; the Incident Timer was still going nuts. Before returning to the apartment, I rotated my watch on my arm, making sure the Timer was on the inside of my wrist so that it wouldn’t catch Quinn’s attention.

  * * *

  Quinn was already sleeping by the time I got back, having crashed on the couch with the bag of chips still in hand. I turned off the TV and put the half-empty bag of chips on the coffee table, which made him stir.

  “Sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you,” I whispered.

  “No, that’s okay.” He slowly sat up. “I was just resting my eyes.” His voice sounded so groggy. He was visibly exhausted and his hair was all over the place, but he still looked amazing.

  He’s perfect even when he’s not perfect, I said to myself, smiling.

  “So is everything okay?” he asked, rubbing his eyes.

  “Yes. I just have to keep an even closer eye on you for a while.” I smiled in anticipation of his reaction to my having to spend more time with him.

  “You won’t hear me complaining.” He flashed me a goofy, sleepy grin.

  “We’ll see,” I said, still smiling. “C’mon, let’s get you to bed.” I pulled him up by both hands and led him into his bedroom. After pulling back the blankets, he crawled into bed. I covered him up and turned to leave.

  “Evie … stay,” Quinn murmured. Half asleep, he rolled to the right side of the bed to make room for me. Without thinking twice, I crawled into bed and lay down next to him. He turned to face me. I watched him breathe as he drifted back to sleep. I focused on my pulse; it was perfectly in sync with his heartbeat.

  My borrowed heart, I thought. I cherished the close connection I had with Quinn, and I dreaded the day I would have to let it go.

  From that point forward, Quinn always fell asleep on the right side of the bed, leaving room for me to lie down next to him on the left. And I always did.

  * * *

  The next morning, I was perched in my usual spot while Quinn got ready for work. I knew I had put him on edge last night, and I didn’t want to unnerve him any more than I already had, so I decided to downplay everything today and act as casually and nonchalantly as possible.

  My plan backfired as soon as Quinn walked out of the bathroom with only a towel wrapped around his waist, his wet skin still glistening. Sparks flew through me. I took a deep breath and averted my eyes.

  Usually, Quinn would have made some quip about my reaction to his body. In fact, he would have orchestrated coming out of the bathroom half-naked to evoke such a reaction from me. I was half-surprised he didn’t threaten to drop the towel right then and there—or better yet, actually drop it. But he didn’t do any of these things. His mind was somewhere else.

  “A penny for your thoughts,” I said.

  “Last night,” Quinn began slowly, “I called my brother, Tommy, while you were out. I’m going to meet him for dinner tonight … to discuss Brady.”

  “That’s great,” I said enthusiastically. “You can tell me all about it when you get back.” Of course, I would ghost him the entire time he was out to dinner, but I would give him and his brother as much privacy as I could and try not to eavesdrop on their conversation.

  “I want you to come with me,” Quinn stated.

  “You want me to do what?” I had a sneaking suspicion that Quinn wasn’t asking me merely to ghost him at dinner.

  “I want you to go with me … to dinner with my brother tonight,” he said calmly, looking directly at me without even blinking an eye.

  “You mean, you want me to meet your brother tonight.”

  “Yes,” Quinn said, keeping his cool. I, on the other hand, was now far from cool and collected. I was flabbergasted. What could he possibly be thinking?

  “Why?”

  “I want you to be there when we talk about Brady. I want you to hear the discussion firsthand … and I’ll feel
better knowing you’re there.” Quinn paused. “This isn’t going to be the easiest of conversations.”

  “Quinn, you do realize I can be there with you at dinner, listening the entire time, without actually having to be there … in person. I can shadow you.”

  “Yeah, I know, but it’s just not the same.” Quinn sighed.

  “You mean, it’s just not good enough.”

  “Yeah, it’s just not good enough this time around … Evie, it’s just … we don’t seem real. Hell, I still can’t be sure that we are real. All I know is that I wake up every day wondering if this was all a dream. Every morning, I walk out here holding my breath until I see you sitting in that chair … I can’t tell anyone about you. I can’t introduce anyone to you. You won’t go out in public unless you’re in disguise. I mean, you practically run and hide each time I think I see someone I know.

  “And tonight, I really need you to be there with me. I want you by my side … And, yes, I want Tommy to meet you … Think of it as independent proof that you’re not a figment of my imagination.”

  “Well, what about Ronald?” I countered. “He’s seen me with you.”

  “Ronald?” Quinn chuckled wryly. “Ronald is not exactly who I would call the pillar of sanity. My God, Evie, he calls you angel right to your face!”

  “Well, maybe that actually makes him the sanest character judge of all,” I replied.

  “Evie, I’m not going to use Ronald as the barometer against which I gauge my own mental health,” Quinn said curtly. He took a deep breath. “Look,” he continued, dropping the edge in his voice, “Tommy is my big brother. I trust him completely. I know I’m asking a lot, but it would mean the world to me. We don’t even have to tell him anything about who you are—”

  “You mean what,” I corrected.

  “Fine—what you are.” Quinn rolled his eyes.

  “I can’t help you make up some story about me,” I replied. “I’m incapable of lying.”

  “Really? You can’t lie? Not ever?” Quinn’s newfound intrigue in my latest concession distracted him for a moment.

  “No. Apparently not ever,” I said matter-of-factly.

  “Interesting.” His eyes twinkled as he tried to fight the grin that was forming in the corners of his mouth. I could see his mind coming up with a slew of questions to ask me now that he knew I was bound by honesty.

  “Can we get back to the real issue at hand here please?” I asked, hoping to get his mind off of the latest cat I had just let out of the bag.

  “Uh, yeah. So fine … we won’t lie. I’ll tell Tommy we met at IU, we lost touch, and we happened to run into each other this summer while here in Chicago.” Quinn seemed rather pleased with his abbreviated, albeit fairly accurate, account of our story. With every passing minute, I could tell that he was convincing himself of the brilliance of his plan. I had to try a new tactic.

  “Quinn, don’t you think that your brother might be uncomfortable talking about Brady in front of a complete stranger?”

  He sat there for a few minutes, trying to punch a hole in my argument, but he knew it was airtight. He knew I was right; Tommy wouldn’t talk about Brady openly in front of me. When Quinn came up empty-handed, he just looked at me with pleading eyes.

  “Evie, just do this one favor for me … please.”

  “I’m sorry, Quinn. We’ve been down this road before, and my answer is still no.” I felt horrible letting him down. “Look,” I offered in consolation, “if you want, I can be there the entire time … just not at the table with you.”

  “Great.” Quinn stormed off to his bedroom. He slammed the door shut and got ready for work without saying another word. A few minutes later, he left without even saying good-bye.

  * * *

  Quinn was in a foul mood all day; even his office mate Kyle stayed clear of him. Quinn only cheered up when he saw his brother, Tommy, waiting for him at Marché. Tommy looked like a younger version of their father, only with dark brown hair and a smaller belly.

  “Quinny!” he announced as Quinn approached him at the bar. “I’m starving! Let’s go grab a table,” Tommy suggested.

  The two spent the first half of dinner catching up on summer events. Tommy busted Quinn’s chops for not telling the family about the mugging incident sooner and for missing the Cubs game with him and their brother Doug. Quinn told Tommy about his summer internship, and Tommy mentioned he had gotten a new job downtown and would be starting in a couple of weeks. Tommy also mentioned that he and Sam were getting ready to move into the new house, which would be ready well before the arrival of their baby girl. Quinn congratulated Tommy upon hearing the news. He seemed genuinely happy at the thought of having a niece.

  The conversation took on a more somber note when they discussed what to do about Brady. Apparently, he had also hit Tommy up for money, but Tommy wasn’t in a position to give him a loan even if he had wanted to do so. Tommy then stressed that he didn’t want to give Brady a dollar. Quinn fidgeted in his seat.

  “Look, Quinny. I know you. I know you want to help him out. And I do too—trust me, I do. But the best way to do that right now is to do nothing. If you give Brady money, you know he’s just going to piss it all away and get even deeper in the hole.”

  “I know,” Quinn said reluctantly. “Hey,” he said more optimistically, “what do you think about me asking Brady to crash with me for a couple of weeks … just until he can get his act together and figure a few things out?”

  I was mortified by Quinn’s idea. He knew he was in danger, and he wanted to invite more trouble into his life? What was he thinking? I almost smacked him on the back of the head right then and there.

  “No way, Quinny. That’s a really bad idea,” Tommy cautioned. “You know the type of guys that are always after Brady. If he owes them enough, and it sounds like he does this time, they’ll follow him right to your doorstep. There’s no telling what they’ll do to you to get Brady to pay up. And, in the meantime, Brady’s just going to rob you blind. Quinny, promise me you will not invite Brady to stay with you.” Tommy waited for a response, but it was slow to come.

  “Quinn, I’m serious. Do you want to get killed over Brady’s gambling debts?” Tommy snapped. He was on the edge of his seat, waiting to hear Quinn’s response—and so was I.

  “No, of course not,” Quinn barked. “I promise I won’t invite Brady to Chicago … but then what am I supposed to do?”

  “Nothing.” Tommy sighed. “Look, I wish there was something we could do for him. But for as many times as Brady has gotten himself into these messes, he’s always managed to get himself out of them. He’s resilient that way. Sam says Brady’s like a cat with nine lives.”

  “How many lives do you think Brady has left?” Quinn scoffed.

  “Just be patient, Quinny. It’ll work itself out—it always does,” Tommy said reassuringly.

  I could tell that Quinn wasn’t satisfied with Tommy’s chosen course of action with their brother. I could also tell that Quinn’s course of action had yet to be determined. That said, I was fairly confident he had abandoned his idea of inviting Brady to stay with him in Chicago. And if he hadn’t given up on the idea, I would find a way to quash such a ludicrous notion as soon as we got back to his apartment.

  Quinn and Tommy wrapped up the evening discussing their parents. Tommy had heard through the grapevine that Quinn had gone home the past weekend.

  “Who told you?” Quinn seemed surprised.

  “Who else? Mom and Dad. You know they practically call us every day to find out how Sam is doing. And a few days ago they mentioned you were planning to spend the weekend up at the house while they were out of town.” Tommy raised his eyebrows.

  “What?” Quinn asked, but he looked like he already knew where Tommy was going with this.

  “What do you mean ‘what’? I know you, Quinny. I know your MO—you brought a girl up to Mom and Dad’s.” Tommy was smiling from ear to ear and nodding his head up and down slowly in approval.

/>   “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “Dude, you suck at lying—you always have. So who was it? That Alyssa chick I saw you out with that one night?”

  “Ashley,” Quinn corrected. “And, no.”

  Ugh. I winced at the sound of her name.

  “Right, Ashley. She was hot!” Tommy remarked.

  “Does Sam know you talk like this about other women?” Quinn teased.

  “Oh come on, Quinny. You know I love Sam more than life itself … but a man can still look once he’s married—he just can’t touch. And Ashley is worth looking at!” Tommy made some gross gesture with his hands.

  Yuck! My stomach turned over.

  “You’re a sick bastard, you know that?” Quinn shook his head back and forth, chuckling. “Sometimes I can’t believe we’re related.”

  His brother just laughed.

  “Seriously, though,” Tommy continued. “What happened to that chick? She was all over you.”

  “Ashley was all right,” Quinn said indifferently, picking at the food on his plate with his fork.”

  “Don’t tell me she’s out of the picture already. Man, Quinny, you go through women faster than most guys go through underwear.”

  Tommy’s interrogation was bothering Quinn—not because of his brother’s line of questioning, but because of Quinn’s guarded responses. I knew he wanted to tell Tommy he had met someone else. He wanted to tell him that he had met me. He wanted to tell Tommy that I was with him at their parents’ place this past weekend. And I knew Quinn wanted me to be there, sitting next to him at the table.

  Guilt got the better of me as I began to suspect that I should have agreed to go to dinner with Quinn. I mean, Quinn had gone out of his way to reach out to me, to help me rediscover who I was … to find a way to love me. He had bent over backwards to meet the conditions of our relationship—conditions that I instituted and forced upon him. And in return, I had done nothing but constantly shut him down. I refused to go out in public with him unless I went incognito. I refused to let him tell anyone about me. I refused to let him introduce me to anybody. I refused to let him touch me the way he wanted to—the way I wished he could. And I was refusing him right now. At the end of the day, what Quinn wanted didn’t really matter because exactly which lines were crossed, and how and when they were crossed, were always unilaterally my decisions.