Brent is a guy who everybody calls 'Brent Andrews.' No one says just 'Brent;' he is 'Brent Andrews.' That is, only when we are talking about him, not when he is around. It is sort of like when people talk about celebrities. It is always 'Brittany Spears' or 'Elijah Wood;' nobody ever just says 'Brittany' or 'Elijah.' That's just how things are. Both Kira and I agree Brent Andrews is extremely hot. He is short for a boy, has cropped blonde hair, light blue eyes, a pointy nose, and a built body.
Kira knows Brent Andrews a lot better than I do because he works at this place called Gameland that Kira's family owns. Gameland has a bunch of computers lined up in rows, and patrons can buy time to gain access to them. The lights are always dim inside the store, which is supposed to give the patrons more privacy. However, they are all always playing games like Call of Duty together online, so even with this sense of solitude, everyone is still connected. Once in a while, it's clear that there is some semblance of unity when one player gets pissed off at another one, and they start fighting in real life, rather than fight in imaginary life. The players usually leave their speakers on, meaning that whenever there is some kind of big explosion or shoot-up in the game, it reverberates throughout the store. Ramon likes to go to Gameland, and that's how Kira met him. I often hang out with Kira while she's working on Friday nights, and so I have briefly met Brent Andrews there maybe once or twice. Personally, I want to get to know him better because Kira has said some complimentary things about him.
“Is Brent coming over now?” I ask Ramon.
“Yeah. He'll be here.”
I groan. There is a glitch here. Kira has a crush on Brent Andrews, and she wants to tell him before she leaves for Russia tomorrow. I'm not sure when she'll get that chance if Brent Andrews is hanging out at Ramon's place.
Ramon misinterprets my groan. “What's wrong with Brent Andrews?”
“Nothing. He's fine.” Ramon gives me this look like he thinks I'm not telling him the truth, and I ignore him.
Pretty soon, we hear Brent Andrews' truck roar up to the curb and trail off as he kills the engine. Brent owns this big, black, raised truck, I guess because he's a little guy, and he's overcompensating.
“Hey man, what's up?” Ramon says.
They strike up a conversation about some people I don't know, and I tune the two of them out, until Brent Andrews starts talking about Kira.
“God, I hate Kira! She is so fucking negative. Everything I do, she turns into a bad thing. It's like I'll say 'hi' to her, and she'll think that I am mocking her or something.”
That's another thing about Brent Andrews, he talks shit about everybody; this is a common fact that even I know, even though this is the second time I've ever met him. Listening to him talk, I'm getting worried about what is going to happen to Kira once she finally gets to talk to Brent Andrews. This isn't going to be good. Kira has never been rejected before, and I can see it coming.
So anyway, Brent Andrews and I start to talk, and I tell him about how sad I am that Kira is going away to Russia for two whole months. He seems pretty cool; I guess he just lets his mouth run. I also find out that Brent likes this girl, Alicia, which is some news I silently note to myself to pass along to Kira.
“I got a ticket for off-roading a couple days ago!” Brent says like he has received a Christmas present early. The boys love to go off-roading, and I have always wanted to go also, but never have gotten the chance.
“Oh really? Were you driving your truck?” I ask him. Maybe if Brent can take his truck off-roading, I could get him to take Kira and me sometime. I don't understand why the boys have never invited us to come along. I think it would be a romantically thrilling experience. A good opportunity for “chemistry” to happen.
“Yeah. Oh, was that your Cavalier outside?” he asks me. My eyebrows rise as I take this question in. How can Brent know what car I drive when he's never seen me drive it, and frankly never talked to me about it before?
“Chevy Cavalier, yep. I've had my license for four months now. I love that car sooo much; I saved all of the money I ever got from when I was eight years old to buy a car of my own.” My voice is brimming with pride. Brent Andrews nods his head.
“I love my car too. But I hate washing it. It's so dirty now. I would hate it if anything ever happened to it,” Brent tells me.
“Me too. I would completely trip out if anything ever happened to my car,” I eagerly reply in my attempt to be agreeable. But as I say it, I realize how true this is. My car is the most valuable possession I own. Its title is in my name and everything.
After a while, we all migrate out to Ramon's garage because he has a pool table out there, and it's way too hot inside, even though it's only the middle of June. Ramon's family doesn't keep any cars in their garage, they park all four of their cars on the driveway. Inside the garage they have a washer and dryer towards the back, a pool table, and a card table. All of this doesn't quite fit in the garage, so they always keep the garage door open. I get to thinking about Kira, and I realize that she would like to be here too because of Brent Andrews. So, I call her up on her landline, and I get her message machine. Kira doesn't have a cell phone, and I hate leaving messages on machines because I never know who is going to hear it first. Times like this are when I really wish she had a cell phone. So, I just hang up because I figure she's busy getting ready to go to Russia anyway, and maybe it's a good thing she isn't going to be rejected right before her trip.
This guy Tyler, who is friends with Ramon and also likes to go to Gameland, shows up. Even though he likes to hang out at Gameland, I've never met him before. He's big, kind of tall, has red hair that's shaved and spiked, and poor motor control. He has an oval shaped face that is covered with freckles. And apparently, he has a love for gambling.
We all cash in our money for poker chips. I know gambling is illegal in California, but heck, we are just doing it for fun. I only have five bucks on me anyway, so it's not like I'm risking a lot.
I'm assuming we're all going to play poker because that's the only gambling game I know of. But then Tyler says, “Poker's lame. Let's play blackjack.” My heart sinks a bit because I have never even heard of blackjack before, and I realize my chances of winning anything on a game I'm not familiar with are slim.
So, we all get started. Since I have no idea how to play the game, Tyler briefly explains it to me. After a couple rounds, I'm thinking that all these guys are pretty cool, and I know Kira is going to wish she were here. So, I skip a round and give her another call. Once again, I get her message machine. I guess it's for the better that I can't reach Kira because I'm sure her family is going to want to spend time with her before she leaves.
As I return to the poker table, I hear that the boys have struck up a conversation about drinking.
“What's your favorite drink?” Tyler asks Ramon.
“Jack Daniels. That stuff's crazy!”
“Oh really? My favorite is Captain Morgan,” Tyler says proudly. “What's yours, Mackenzie?”
“I don't know, I've never drank before.” Isn't it illegal to drink before you're 21?
“Ohh, you need to try it sometime!” Tyler is all enthusiasm.
“I don't know; I'm scared to.” Hopefully this will be enough to get them to drop it.
“The first time you drink, you need to be around a group of people who you trust,” Ramon tells me. “If you know you can trust the people with you, then everything will be fine.”
I nod to this, my eyes wide. Fortunately our conversation evolves to other topics. After a few rounds of blackjack, I'm down three dollars, so I see a glimmer of hope when I hear Brent Andrews request that we play Screw Your Neighbor. I figure I may have better luck.
But, I'm proven wrong, and half an hour into the evening, I am out of money for the night. So, I hang around and watch the boys play.
Eventually Brent Andrews loses all his money too, but he still hangs around because Ramon's friend, Scott, is supposed to come over, and he owes Brent Andrews $15. Brent
Andrews and I take advantage of Ramon's pool table.
I've only played pool a few times, and that was about four years ago, so I kind of suck at it. Pretty soon it's obvious that Brent Andrews is going to win the game, and I start to feel my ears turn red as I wish I hadn't agreed to this game. I'm just looking stupid in front of Ramon. But, Brent Andrews hits the eight ball in prematurely, so I win by default. Perhaps Ramon will still be impressed that I won? I didn't win by skill. My heart sinks as I know this won't mean anything to Ramon. If anything, all he's going to remember is how badly I was losing. I wish I could just disappear on the spot.
Brent Andrews receives a text message. “Whose phone number is 495-2283? I just got a text message that says, 'i need 2 talk 2 u, its an emergency.' ”
“Oh that's Kira. She said something to me earlier about wanting to talk to you,” I tell him, though I'm actually fudging the truth a little bit. Kira doesn't have a cell phone, so she's using her mother's. It seems like her mother is the only one in the family with a cell. I never call it though, because I never know when Kira or her mom has it in their possession. I have been wondering when she was planning to talk to Brent about her crush, seeing as her flight is leaving tomorrow.
Brent Andrews gives Kira a call back. I'm praying that Brent Andrews isn't going to tell Kira that he is with me at Ramon's house because I know that if she finds out, she is going to be PISSED at me for not telling her. Like I didn't try.
My blood turns cold when the next thing I hear is Brent Andrews saying, “Oh, I'm at Ramon's house…Tyler and Mackenzie are here too.” I know I'm doomed, especially because I can tell from his side of the conversation that Kira isn't telling him that she likes him. That means she is so pissed at me she has forgotten what she originally planned to do.
Kira hangs up with Brent a lot sooner than she should have, and Ramon's cell phone goes off a second later. I'm starting to feel like I'm in a spotlight because I know Kira is telling everybody I'm hanging out with that she's mad at me. I want to run out from under the powerful beam and go behind stage so that nobody can see me.
Ramon likes his privacy, so he leaves the garage so that we can't hear his side of the conversation. But about a minute later, Ramon sticks his head in the garage, and beckons me out. This can't be good. “Mackenzie, Kira just told me to tell you not to call or talk to her. She's pissed at you. Why didn't you call her? It's so obvious that she would want to be here.”
I can't believe how rotten this night is turning out. Now Ramon is mad at me too. All I wanted was to ease the pain of knowing my best friend is going to be gone.
I know that even though she said otherwise, all Kira wants is for me to call her back, to make her feel wanted, and so that she can yell at me. I guess I realize that communication is the only way we are going to resolve this. And so, even though I know that she wants to yell at me, I still call Kira's house line. “I came over here because I didn't want to go home and just miss you all day.”
“Oh my God, Mackenzie, stop lying to me.” I feel my stomach drop when I realize that Kira isn't going to listen to me. Aren't best friends supposed to trust each other? Kira really does like to jump to conclusions, and I realize there is no way for her to see it otherwise.
We fight for a while about why I supposedly didn't call her, and Kira tells me that I am stupid for not leaving a message. “You know what, go kill yourself, Mackenzie.”
Now Kira has crossed the line. I can feel all my pretenses drop as I try to come up with what I can say that will make her sting the most. “You want me to go kill myself?!? Fine then, I will, how would that make you feel???”
“Great! I won't miss you at all.” She hangs up on me.
I feel my rage escape my mouth, “URRRRGH!” I can feel my blood boiling like I'm a tea kettle. I start kicking boxes around in Ramon's garage. This is still not enough to release my steam. I start kicking the boxes even harder, until I find one that is heavier than the others. I feel a muscle in my leg get pulled. I crumple on the floor sobbing. The kettle's fire has been turned off. The pain in my leg has brought me back to reality. I curl over my knee, grabbing my shin. How could this night have turned so sour? How could Kira say something like that? She has betrayed my trust and has said the unspeakable to me, all in one night.
The guys just pretend to ignore me because they don't want to get in between Kira and me. I realize that if I want any comfort, I am going to have to pull myself together. Still sniffling, I pull myself up to my feet, using that dratted box for support. I hobble over to sit with the boys at the poker table.
“God I hate her sometimes! Why does Kira have to jump to conclusions so much?!?” I vent this out loud. At this point, I don't care if the boys hear me. I can't believe this is how things are going to be between us right before Kira leaves for her trip; I don't want to spend the whole time she is gone wondering if she is mad at me or not. Also, I can't believe she would tell me to kill myself; that's just not what best friends do to each other. “She just told me to kill myself!”
Ramon gives me this look that says, “That really sucks.” Ramon isn't extremely verbal; he makes his opinions known through his facial expressions. I'm relieved that Ramon isn't mad at me anymore. But I'm still seething over Kira; I know our conversation is not over, so I call her again.
“Kira, I did call you. Twice!
“How am I supposed to believe you, Mackenzie, when I didn't get any messages from you?” Exasperated, I tell her, “I didn't leave any messages. I just don't like to leave messages.”
“Why wouldn't you leave a message?!” Kira demands.
“You need to listen to me. I wanted you here today…”
Kira interrupts me, “Mackenzie, you know what? Brent Andrews told me that he likes you, so good luck.” She hangs up on me again. I feel like I've been stung, and I need to release my anger again, so I throw my cell phone across Ramon's lawn. Just because I told Kira that I thought Brent Andrews is hot, she thinks that I have some huge crush on him, but I don't. I don't even know him, and I like Ramon. But then, appearances are extremely important to Kira, which means that if I say that somebody is “hot,” in Kira's language that means I think he is my soul mate.
Finally I get attention when Brent Andrews says, “Wow, Mackenzie, you don't want to break your cell.”
“Don't worry. I always do that when I'm not getting any reception. It's strong… see?” I say as I give Brent Andrews my phone. After he comes to the conclusion that there is nothing wrong with it, he hands it back to me, shaking his head.
Tyler gives me some of his poker chips so that I can play some more again. I think he just wants me to stop raging about Kira. But, we are all talking about Kira anyway, so it doesn't really work.
“Dimitri told me that Kira is bipolar.” Brent Andrews comments, like he is hoping someone will verify this. Dimitri is Kira's brother.
“Yeah, she can have bipolar tendencies,” Ramon agrees.
Brent Andrews asks the group, “But is Kira cool to hang around?”
Ramon's replies, “Yeah usually Kira is cool. Sometimes she just gets really mad.”
“She fucking told me to go kill myself, and I'm supposed to be her best friend!” I spit out.
“She's weird. I hate Kira! She's so negative!” Brent Andrews says. He seems obsessed with saying that Kira is negative, and I'm starting to think he's being a bit repetitive.
“Can you believe I went out with her?” Ramon asks, or more like tells Brent Andrews. Brent Andrews just shakes his head, and everybody stops talking about Kira. But I stop talking mostly because I feel like the floor has fallen out from underneath me. I thought Ramon still liked Kira, even though they broke up like three or four months ago and only went out for two weeks. But I guess not. And then I start to realize what this information means. If Ramon isn't still infatuated with Kira, then he may have a crush on someone else. Perhaps that person is me? Even as this thought is forming, and even though Kira and I are fighting, I still can't believe that
Ramon just dissed her. He has no right to say something like that to a large group of people.
Due to my poor gambling skills, I have now lost all of the chips Tyler gave me. “Will you give me more chips?” I ask him.
“No.”
“But I would really like to keep playing with you guys,” I plead.
“No! You've already lost all of your money, AND lost all of the money I gave you, to me.” Tyler points dramatically at himself. “So no, I'm not going to give you more chips.” I hadn't thought of it that way, so I realize this is a futile effort, and resign myself to just watching the game. It looks like gambling just isn't my forte.
Eventually Scott, the guy who owes Brent Andrews money, comes over. Scott is an Asian guy who I think is really cool. I met him through Ramon during school. He is the only one out of Ramon's friends who has talked to me regularly, both at school and also on AOL Instant Messenger. Scott has his chin pierced with a silver ball, wears baggy pants, and has a small, cute, oval birth mark on his right cheek. He gives off energy of being confident and in control. I dig him. Of course nobody, not even Kira, knows I think Scott is hot because he has a girlfriend. I've seen how sweet Scott is to his girlfriend, and so I actually fully support their relationship. There's no jealousy here.
Scott adds to the pot, and starts gambling too. But, it's not long till Scott loses all of his money, half of which he had been planning to pay Brent Andrews back with. So, he leaves pretty quickly, and so does Brent Andrews.
Ramon and Tyler are now the only ones gambling over the pot, $130. I'm wishing that I could be getting that much money, but it's interesting to watch the two of them. Ramon is dealing, and I can't help but notice the shine in his eyes. I can tell that he is excited, and I can feel the pressure. He's handing out the cards gingerly, hitting them on the table. The way the light is shining on his face and on his arms highlights all of his best features. His arms are glowing, showing his toned muscles, including the tone in his forearms. His lips, eyes, hair, and cheeks are all outlined with light, showing his beautiful lines. I can feel myself desiring him. All I want to do is caress his face and sink into his arms. I look away. I have to tell myself that he doesn't like me more than a friend. I need to stop thinking about him like that. I need to get over him.
The Convenience of Lies Page 2